Need some advice

[Pandora23456]

What advice would you give to someone who has never had sex before?

What are some facts about how your first time will be and won't be?

 

[Ezzy]

Is the person you want to advise male or female?

This changes the advice in detail.

Standard advice would be take it slow, allow for plenty of foreplay, make sure you are ready and really want to go ahead with it, and lube lube lube.

Some additional advice I would give would be allow the "virgin" to be on top, this would allow escape form pain or a bad situation quicker and simpler than climbing out from underneath.

 

[Pandora23456]

Is the person you want to advise male or female?

Female

 

[ReadyOne]

Stretch her, as in two fingers or a dildo, and find the G-spot with the fingers. Get a good orgasm first (both of you!) Do oral and switch to PIV when she says she's close to orgasm.

Lady on top if she is willling.

Get her talking -- feedback -- on what works well as you are going along.

Her legs together will put more pressure on her clit; her knees up and him thrusting vertically will hit the G-spot, as willl her on her tummy and him thrusting as stright down as he can.

Also beware of knees to chest and doggie as he can go deep and knock an overy or bang the cervix too hard.

 

[Ezzy]

If she is with a concerned and caring man, she could have wonderful time, allow plenty of time for foreplay, and make sure she is comfortable with her safety and security, this will help take some of the edge off the fear level for her.

If he can get her to relax and to get more turned on the better, even to orgasm, by hand or mouth, she MUST tell him when she likes things and she MUST tell him when she doesn't like things, waiting to rely on a man knowing is a waste of time, (I am a man and I must assure you I still can't read minds), though over the years I have learned to read some body language.

Communication is the key; the more she is able to control the situation.

There may be some pain with the insertion and even some slight bleeding, anything more than a heavy period she should consult her physician, the chance of pain is less if she is fully aroused, and very very wet and ready for him.

If she wants to control the action, she should consider asking him to be on his back, she can then control by squatting how much of him goes how deep, do tell her that more than enough lube, is often just enough lube.

If she is not getting wet enough for him to finger her without hurting her then she is not wet enough and should either engage in more foreplay or use more lube.

If she is a gymnast or horse rider she may have broken her own hymen in these activities, and she could take a well hung guy with only a little foreplay, or she may need to think about really warm baths, the old method of preparing was to sit in a really warn bath and slowing work on the stretchiness of her vagina, and hymen, it is not something to rush, the stretching should work slowly the heat of the water and her fingers should let her open herself up and find out if she still has a hymen.

 

[Pandora23456]

Thanks you guys for your thoughts.

But can I get some thoughts from some females?

 

[ethicalslut]

Mis dos centavos

Sure, I'm female, and I've had sex. So here goes.

Just a clarification, this is for a woman who is going to have sex for the first time with a man? Don't want to make any undue assumptions.

I'm lucky that I waited until I was more than ready before I had sex for the first time. Emotionally, physically and intellectually I was prepared for the experience. I had talked about sex with my more experienced friends and wasn't embarassed by the topic. I waited until I was assertive enough to say what I did and didn't want. For me this took a while (I was older than average when I lost my virginity), some people are ready at a much younger age. It really is a personal thing.

As far as advice, I would recommend the following for her:

• Relax, relax, relax. If you find yourself tensing up at any point, stop and ask for a massage or more foreplay or whatever RELAXES you.
  
  Also, if you're tense (and maybe even if you're not), you might need additional lubrication. This doesn't necessarily mean you're not turned on, it just sometimes happens. It CERTAINLY doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong
  
  Spend some time beforehand enjoying your body. Take a bath (not to soon before, it dries certain things out...), put on your favorite perfume, undies, whatever makes you feel good about yourself. Wear your lucky socks if necessary... just take them off during the act because sex with socks on is weird (in my opinion).
  
  DON'T get drunk and do it. Drunk sex is OK, but physical coordination and a clear mind are a good thing for your first time.
  
  It REALLY is easier your first time if you're on top the first time. For me, at least, I was a little reticent to do it this way because I wanted him to be more in control because I didn't think I knew what I was doing. We ended up switching places right away. You really can't do much wrong... it's a natural physical thing.
  
  Don't be afraid to go slow, slow SSSSLLLLOOOOWWWW.
  
  BIRTH CONTROL! CONDOMS ARE YOUR FRIEND!!! LEARN HOW TO USE THEM!!! PRACTICE ON CUCUMBERS!!!

And now some advice for the lucky guy...

• Patience is key. Our society (like most others) makes a woman's first time out to be a HUGE deal. It can be a lot of pressure in a lot of weird ways. Just be patient.
  
  Be gentle. Ask questions like "Is it OK if I go a little faster?" Because, honestly, it feels a little weird the first time, Even after the initial push-through.
  
  Set the mood. Start out with something affectionate and only moderately sexual, like a backrub maybe???
  
  Kiss her all over. Worship her. Don't go straight for the prize. Her first time isn't necessarily all about the penetration. That's just how it ends.
  
  If it takes a while for her to feel comfortable with the whole put-it-in thing, you may lose your erection. Explain that it's not because she's not sexy as all get-out. Because (trust me on this one, it happened to me) she won't necessarily know that.

Remember, these are just my thoughts... I am neither a sexologist nor a doctor. I am, however, one person who takes sex (even casual sex) seriously and joyfully. Your mileage may vary.

Above all, have fun!

 

[crazybbwgirl]

First of all CONDOMS! No ifs ands or buts - even if she says she's on the pill - CONDOMS! Buy a whole box of them - you may need several. Next - make sure you have a comfortable, safe place where nobody will interrupt you. Nothing like mom coming home to mess up the mood! Then - talk and plan - I know it can be hard to talk about - and lots of people are afraid it will loose some of the romance if they talk about it - but try to find out what she expects of you and herself. Lastly - take it slow, remember to LAUGH! Sex is supposed to be FUN - enjoy. (oh - and practice practice practice!)

 

[assister49]

I think the key words seen in many replies are gentle, kind, slow, and lots of foreplay! I wouldn't advise any toys - there is plenty of time for experimentation later. You want to make her feel good about herself and the experience. She will never forget the first time - nor the first person who took her there.

When using the condoms, put it on in front of her, or have her help. My experience on an almost first time was the guy left the room (I assume to put on a condom) - and I chickened out while he was gone. Of course, at the time I was too shy to talk about it, ask about it, or discuss it. Just left me with a lifetime of "I wish..."

Being open and talkative is helpful. Good luck!

 

[Pandora23456]

Any other thoughts?

 

[Ms_Kat]

I think I may be the last woman who waited until she was married to lose her virginity (still looking for it, I think it's lost for good).

It was an incredibly special night for me. The first time I had ever been undressed by a man, the first time I had felt his lips on my breasts, my belly, my thighs.

It was also the first time I'd seen how big his cock is. HOLY MOLY! He wants to put that INSIDE me?

I should say that it was also the first time for him. He tried his best to be gentle, but it still hurt. Not bad, but I knew he was definitely going where no man had gone before. He felt me tense up, and stopped, held me, kissed me, stroked me, and gave my body just enough time to stop throbbing. Then my hips somehow knew how to pull him the rest of the way in.

I think it has taken me longer to write this than it took for us to complete our first time together. I've mentioned elsewhere that my husband struggled with premature ejactulation early in our marriage. Since I didn't know any better, I thought that was all there was to it.

I was a little sore the next day. Not too bad, though. I've felt worse on heavy flow days.

Hugs,


Kat

 

[ethicalslut]

I was a little sore the next day. Not too bad, though. I've felt worse on heavy flow days.

I second, third and fourth that motion. For me, as someone who suffers from intense menstrual cramps, the pain I experienced my first time (looking back on it) pales in comparison to the first day of my period if I'm stuck somewhere without any Vitamin A (aka Advil).

 

[Pandora23456]

Anyone else have thoughts on this?

 

[Pandora23456]

Come on I need some more thoughts on this.