Need some advice

[Guest]

Could anybody here give me some masturbation techniques, I'm tall, thin, and well hung. I've tried it with fur coats, jello, oranges, and a pork roast. My sister thinks I'm crazy.

 

[April]

Try the How To.. Board. That's more appropriate for your umm, question.

 

[Strange Girl]

How about an electric fan?

 

[Expertise]

Something i've never used before.(I mean the abreviation)

ROTFLMAO!!!

A pork roast!?

 

[Guest]

fuck you, bitch.

 

[Gaucho]

How about an electric fan?

SG, you're not his sister, are you?

 

[CreamyLady]

For children -- a woman; for pleasure -- a man; but for true ecstasy -- a melon.

 

[Strange Girl]

Why do I get all the abuse?

 

[Expertise]

Carefull little man!

Also, considering Carl's pics....I would seriously fucking reconsider your "name". You could very well look more ludicrous than you already do.

"Fuck you bitch". Snappy comeback....let me guess your a neurosurgeon?

 

[Strange Girl]

Big Stiffy, Insert your big wang into a willing receptacle, your sister probably isn't. Why don't you cover it with honey and hump an ant-hill. That should feel good, loser.

 

[Gaucho]

Big Stiffy, Insert your big wang into a willing receptacle, your sister probably isn't. Why don't you cover it with honey and hump an ant-hill. That should feel good, loser.

Don't mince words, SG. Tell him what you really think.

 

[Guest]

Whatif I stick it in you?

 

[Expertise]

I think you've pretty much eliminated any possibility of that happening genius.

 

[Strange Girl]

Wash it first, sweetie. Use 409.

 

[Gaucho]

Whatif I stick it in you?

Sorry, pal. You have to register before you can stick it in anyone on this board. Rules of the house.

SG - 409? I was thinking maybe bug spray.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Thanks for all the good advice. What does a guy have to do to get a straight answer? I was just asking if somebody has a different way to masturbate and all I get is mean answers.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

People have been jerking you off all day! Geez, what does it take to make you happy?

Seriously, your unregistered post was odd, included the silly image of someone jerking off a fox fur, didn't really say much of content, and ended with a non sequitor implying that you're sister knows about your personal masturbation habits. Why oh why are you surprised that no one took you seriously?

I read once about a guy who jerked off with a record -- a 45, the one's with the big holes? Or try it in a new room. Sorry, can't really help with any overly-exotic suggestion. Try the HOW TO board or do search for MASTURBATION and see what past threads have had to say. Good luck. And don't go blind.

 

[Nicole]

WARNING some may want to slam me for this and it IS intended as a Joke.

Big Stiffy ... try using a woman's Pussy.

DCL I never did get that "Don't go blind" ... don't they say eating Confalkes stops you from Masturbating??? Never quite understood that one either.

Good Luck

 

[FlamingoBlue]

DCL, you forgot to warn him about....

The warts and his Mommy catchinh him and going to Hell and all that other good stuff.

Expertise and Strange Girl-- You guys are verrry funny.

And to you, Mr. Stiffy,there are sites on the Web dedicated to your inquiry. Perhaps Jackin' World or some such place. And please, watch it with the mean spirited lingo. This is a place for gentle souls.

Good luck in your quest.

blue

 

[Wizard]

Jello???????????????

 

[Siren]

How about a warm yellow pool?

 

[Cheri]

Ever heard of a "fifi"?

 

[Purple Haze]

mm, mm, good

How about some warm "Cream of Chicken" soup, Big Stiffy.

I really wanna party with this guy.

 

[Whispersecret]

You know, I thought this guy was really out there until I thought of some of the inanimate objects I've tried masturbating with. (None of them were any good, by the way.) (And don't ask!)

I think searching the How To Board is the best idea.