need help

[elscorp3]

How can I get her to be my slave in the bedroom

 

[infinity706]

Well, you could just ask her.

 

[ms_sub_liminal]

and if you're too uncomfortable to come right out and ask, send her some stories involving slave play that you like and ask if it interested her.

 

[elscorp3]

Well, you could just ask her.

DID THAT DID NOT WORK I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET ON THIS

 

[SweetErika]

DID THAT DID NOT WORK I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET ON THIS

How do you think we can help, then? If you've sat down, had a nice conversation about what, specifically, you'd like, and she's not willing to do those things or compromise, you're pretty much out of luck and nothing anyone suggests is going to change that. You need to respect her and her boundaries, rather than try to convince, push, or force her into something she doesn't want to do.

What does being "a slave in the bedroom" mean to you? How did you talk to her? What did you say? What did she say? Did you try to understand why she was opposed to it? Did you ask her if there was room to try some compromises and suggest some milder forms of the things that turn you on?

For instance, maybe she's not into doing whatever you want, but she'd be willing to try certain things you negotiate in advance with limits and a safeword, so she can stop everything immediately if she's uncomfortable at any point. Maybe she's not into being tied up and throatfucked, but she'd be cool with being told to put on an outfit that really turns you on, letting you push her down on the bed, and having really passionate, animalistic sex.

In the end, if this is something you need (i.e. can't be happy without) and you can't find a mutually agreeable compromise, this is not the right relationship for you (or her, really), and you'll be better off breaking up and finding partners who are better matches for you.

 

[Jack_Samuel]

DID THAT DID NOT WORK I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET ON THIS

How can I get her to be my slave in the bedroom

Your an Asshat

 

[VelvetDarkness]

DID THAT DID NOT WORK I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET ON THIS

In that case, it would be helpful if you posted more than a single line demanding a miraculous solution.

Typing in caps is rude as it denotes shouting. People around here don't sit around typing carefully considered advice for rude little jerks (except Erika, who is a better woman than I ). Getting someone to be your slave requires more than being a fucking asshole and if you're only interested in this so you can be a selfish brute in bed, it's no wonder the woman said no.

She has my sympathy.

 

[badgirl_lucy]

In that case, it would be helpful if you posted more than a single line demanding a miraculous solution.

Typing in caps is rude as it denotes shouting. People around here don't sit around typing carefully considered advice for rude little jerks (except Erika, who is a better woman than I ). Getting someone to be your slave requires more than being a fucking asshole and if you're only interested in this so you can be a selfish brute in bed, it's no wonder the woman said no.

She has my sympathy.

Oh I agree with that - basically in a nutshell, if you have to say you're a Dom, you're not, if you have to ask someone to be a slave you're no Master.

Real Masters get asked by the slave if they will take them on - they don't ask because they don't need to. My advice? I'd try working on being a man first, rather than drastically over stretching yourself

 

[SweetErika]

Oh I agree with that - basically in a nutshell, if you have to say you're a Dom, you're not, if you have to ask someone to be a slave you're no Master.

Or maybe you're just communicating how you identify/which way you swing, your interest in someone and what you like.

Real Masters get asked by the slave if they will take them on - they don't ask because they don't need to.

I could say, "REAL slaves never make such ridiculous statements and overgeneralizations or try to tell others who they are(n't), what they should do, etc."

But I won't because I don't make such generalizations and have no business telling others who they are or how they should identify or conform to the imaginary standards that might be in my head.

I will say that all of this "Real masters/men/slaves/etc. do X" and "If you have to Y, you're no Z" stuff is utter rubbish that really only says something about the knowledge, confidence and maturity level of the person spewing it. I've not met anyone who is knowledgeable, secure and mature who also pulls the "real/true" card. With a little bit of exposure to reality and personal growth, most people understand that there are many different ways of being and doing things like D/s, and while sharing knowledge can be very helpful, it's totally unnecessary and downright silly to tell someone they're "not a real X if they don't do Y and Z."

 

[badgirl_lucy]

Or maybe you're just communicating how you identify/which way you swing, your interest in someone and what you like.


I could say, "REAL slaves never make such ridiculous statements and overgeneralizations or try to tell others who they are(n't), what they should do, etc."

But I won't because I don't make such generalizations and have no business telling others who they are or how they should identify or conform to the imaginary standards that might be in my head.

I will say that all of this "Real masters/men/slaves/etc. do X" and "If you have to Y, you're no Z" stuff is utter rubbish that really only says something about the knowledge, confidence and maturity level of the person spewing it. I've not met anyone who is knowledgeable, secure and mature who also pulls the "real/true" card. With a little bit of exposure to reality and personal growth, most people understand that there are many different ways of being and doing things like D/s, and while sharing knowledge can be very helpful, it's totally unnecessary and downright silly to tell someone they're "not a real X if they don't do Y and Z."

I do so love your posts, I see them floating about and they always make me laugh - well done, do keep it up, always nice to have a bit of light entertainment

 

[big_brown_blowjob_eyes]

Honestly? I don't think you ever will. For a start if she doesn't want to, forget it. Submission despite appearances is consensual. If it is not, then it is abuse. She has already told you no.


Of course saying that if she has latent tendencies towards submission and is maybe just ashamed or shy or worried you could help guide her gently but tbh from what I have seen - the tone of this thread I doubt you're in the frame of mind to do so even if this were the case.

 

[breezyblue]

I definitely second the 'you are an asshat' comment. You sound like a major jerk and for the lady's sake i hope she never agrees to your commands. Just so you know...no, women are not brainless mannequins who should submit to whatever 'the man' desires at that moment - they have every right to refuse what you ask and should be treated with respect...not be wheedled/threatened/guilted/etc into being your slave.

 

[quietwoman187]

How can I get her to be my slave in the bedroom

I have to agree with everyone else. If you're that eager to coerce someone to be your slave, without actually discussing it with her, that's serious issues. You shouldn't be eager to do something that your partner isn't inclined to - If you are, perhaps you aren't matched. Either way, get her opinion first, not ours -