Need help making Girlfriend cum.

[fubarr8802]

I love to give my girlfriend oral, she says she is not sure if she comes, she says that it gets to feel really really nice and then her clit gets to sensitive and it hurts, she says shes not sure if this is her coming, but i dont think she does! is there anything i can do, because for a few mins after doing this she feels really bad cause shes hates the feeling because her clit is so sensitive! any help would be great, thanks

 

[M's girl]

Welcome to Lit. If you check out the Blank Manual you will see that a looooot has already been written about this (and any other subject, really). So go and have a look. In the meantime I'll respond with what's always asked first: does she know (sound like not) if she has orgasms if she's playing with herself? It does not sound to me like she has them when you give her oral. But we can never be sure because orgasms feel different to different people. I would say if she only feels frustration and an annoying feeling afterwards she was just over-sensitive real quick (with me a feeling like that can come real quick too).

The trick is for her to recognize this point and for you to recognize her reaction to this; her bodylanguage. I need clit stimulation to be able to orgasm, but NEVER! too direct. Also, the clit is NOT a little magic button you can simply push to squeeze out an orgasm. You have to love to lick, kiss and touch her and tell her how sweet she tastes and how hot it is to you to pleasure her. She has to learn how her own body works first, before she can tell you and than she needs to tell you what works and what not. No two women are the same in how they experience sex, so don't make the mistake of assuming you know just because you knew (or think you knew) how to get your former GF off...

 

[TBKahuna123]

Don't just focus on her clit. Nibble on her labia, the area around her clit, stimulate her g-spot with your fingers while licking around. You might ask her to let you try this: when her clit starts to get too sensitive, ask her to let you continue, but avoid any contact with her clit. I'm not sure what the effect might be, but it's worth a shot.

Also another hint, while my wife likes a lot of direct clitoral stimulation, she has trouble getting over stimulated. When this happens one of the things she likes is for me to stimulate, either lick or rub, the spot just below her clit very lightly. Drives her nuts! Give that a shot.

One last thing, take it easy on her. I've learned that sometimes you ahve to be very careful with the clit while performing orally. If yo ahve a woman who is very sensitive you can sometimes do the same things you normally would, but at half speed and half pressure. Don't rush it, don't lock onto her clit like a vacuum cleaner. Tease her and let it slowly build. Patience. (talk about the pot calling the kettle black there! )

Good luck!

 

[DrHappy]

Not all women are able to achieve orgasms through oral sex. Your description of her reaction doesn't sound like an orgasm. Make sure that she doesn't feel pressure to have an orgasm and that you value this intimate time together regardless. It can be very pleasurable for her even if she doesn't have an orgasm. If that's what you want, try a vibrator with or without oral stimulation.

 

[artsmom]

Does your GF masturbate? If so, she will absolutely know if she has an orgasm. If not, she may want to take some time with masturbating to become accustomed to the arousal responses her body has to being stimulated. By doing this, she can learn if she like direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. She could also help you understand how to stimulate her better. I masturbated years before I ever had sex and was well aware of when I had my first orgasm during sex. Hope this helps.

 

[helix27]

well i dont have much to add except for this... women are not like men. us guys can jerk it and blam there we go. just like that. guys are more machinable then women are in my experience. women can require just as much, if not more, mental stimulation as physical to achieve orgasm.

once again communication like always is a big piece to the puzzle. think about what works else where to help her achieve orgasm and maybe use that while you are down on her. sounds to me like her clitoris becomes to sensitive for touch before she falls over that edge. (as was said earlier in this thread) find that good cue point to let you know shes at this point, then find a new point of stimulation to take her the rest of the way over the edge. good luck have fun. hope i helped.

 

[helix27]

Does your GF masturbate? If so, she will absolutely know if she has an orgasm. If not, she may want to take some time with masturbating to become accustomed to the arousal responses her body has to being stimulated. By doing this, she can learn if she like direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. She could also help you understand how to stimulate her better. I masturbated years before I ever had sex and was well aware of when I had my first orgasm during sex. Hope this helps.

sorry for the double post but this post is very true. one thing i might add is if she is comfortable enough to allow you... you might try watching her as she masturbates. if you are observant enough, you may learn something new to use while you are down there. also it can show you first hand what works for her.