Need help --Fanfic about Modern family characters getting blacked.

[TZypher]

Im writing a fanfic about Modern family characters getting blacked, beginning with claire and Gloria. Its my first time writing something, and english aint my mother language so it prolly wont be that good. At the Moment this is the summary of what ive got :

Gloria tells claire her Yoga teacher Mr Jackson is behaving weird, spending more time with her then the other woman in the course and being a bit touchy. Claire says Gloria is probably imagining things and agrees on joining next weeks class to prove Gloria wrong (which in the long run will lead to mr jackson spending more time with claire which makes Gloria jealous + claire having sex with the yoga teacher). Before that tho, Manny, who has got a little crush on Gloria, Comes home with a black eye. He wont tell her what happened, but she says if it happens again shell take Action and do something about it. It does happen again and Gloria goes over to the Browns (mannys bully) house. But the parents are gone and only the bully, tyrone, is home. He blackmails (not sure how yet) Gloria into sucking him off and she Regrets it after wondering how she could fall for it.

If you have any ideas / criticism please dm me or help me out

 

[Tigersman]

From your post, it is easy to see where you are running into problems. I see punctuation, grammar and use of words that might be used on social media and the Bible but not in normal writing. I've done volunteer editing for 10 years. I look for plot and character development as well as the flow of the story, consistency, grammar, punctuation and spelling. I use Microsoft Word for my editing which allows the author to accept or reject each change separately or as a whole. In some cases I add, delete or change words plus do sentence restructuring.