Nasrudin Returns

[Dillinger]

A neighbor called on Nasrudin.

'Mulla, I want to borrow your donkey.'
'I am sorry,' said the Mullah, 'but I have already lent it out.'

As soon as he had spoken, the donkey brayed. The sound came from Nasrudin's stable.

'But Mulla, I can hear the donkey, in there!'

As he shut the door in the man's face, Nasrudin said: 'A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything.'

 

[Silverlily]

and the moral of the story is...

only a fool listens to an ass.

(remember Dill, the cows)

 

[Dillinger]

Exactly!!! *smile*

Carrying home a load of delicate glassware, Nasrudin dropped it in the street. Everything was smashed. A crowd gathered.
'What's the matter with you, idiots?' howled Nasrudin. 'Haven't you ever seen a fool before?'

 

[Silverlily]

ugh, I hate pop quizzes

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Yes I know it was glassware and not eggs, but they both break, and eggs would have been too easy.

 

[Dillinger]

I always thought that a basket could hold quite a few eggs and why not put it in one basket? I'd rather carry one basket then have my hands tied up carrying two baskets... unless of course I had so many eggs they couldn't actually all fit in one basket. But what would I do with so many eggs?

 

[DarkAngel]

Feed the snakes

 

[Silverlily]

I'd rather carry one basket then have my hands tied up carrying two baskets...

Don't be silly, that's what children are for. And if that doesn't work, go back to the first post and get the donkey.

But what would I do with so many eggs?

Potato salad?

 

[DarkAngel]

egg salad sandwich

 

[Dillinger]

Feed the snakes

Then we'd need more mongooses (mongeese?)

 

[Silverlily]

An omlette the size of Kenosha!

(Sorry, I have this stupid Expedia comercial stuck in my head.)

 

[Dillinger]

Don't be silly, that's what children are for. And if that doesn't work, go back to the first post and get the donkey.

But what if the donkey can't be found?

The great and venerable Sufi sage, Mullah Nasrudin, once raced through Bagdad on his donkey, galloping as fast as the poor beast could travel. Everybody got excited and people rushed into the streets to find out why the philosopher was in such a great hurry.

"What are you looking for, Mullah?" somebody shouted.

"I'm looking for my donkey!" Nasrudin answered.

[Edited by Dillinger on 04-24-2001 at 07:44 PM]

 

[Silverlily]

Mongoose, party of four

It's mongooses (I looked it up.)


This Nasrudin fella seems to have trouble keeping track of things, especially things he's sitting on. (Though that last one reminds me of quite a few people I know.)

 

[Dillinger]

The donkey appears in many of the tales of Mullah Nasrudin:

Nasrudin was riding along one day when his donkey took fright at something in its path and started to bolt. As he sped past them at an unaccustomed pace some countrymen called out:

'Where are you going, O Nasrudin, so fast?'

'Don't ask me,' shouted Nasrudin, 'ask my donkey!'

 

[Silverlily]

Hmmm, so it's ok to talk to an ass as long as you don't listen to what it says.

 

[Dillinger]

Unless of course it says something so profoundly asslike that it transcends its own nature.

 

[Silverlily]

I think I prefer the non-speaking variety of ass, like the kind that wears Levis.

 

[alexander tzara]

So, an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.

"You're too late," says the barman. "We already booked O Nasrudin and his donkey for this joke."



So, O Nasrudin, his wife and her donkey walk into a bar.

"Sorry," says the barman. "We don't serve ladies in here."

"That's no lady!" says O Nasrudin. "That's my wife's ass!"




Oh dear!

 

[alexander tzara]

The great and venerable Sufi sage, Mullah Nasrudin, once stood in central Bagdad, hitting his stubborn donkey with a heavy cane. The donkey remained resolutely stationary - as is the essential nature of donkeys.

A crowd soon gathered.

'What's the matter with you, idiots?' howled Nasrudin. 'Haven't you ever seen a fool beating his own ass with a stick before?'


Moral?

 

[alexander tzara]

It's rude to stare.

 

[alexander tzara]

An old crone from the grocery stall, seeing O Nasrudin beating his donkey with a stick, pushed her way through the crowd brandishing a bulbous gnarled carrot.

"Sage!" she called. "Have you ever thought of using this to get your ass moving again?"

"That's just SICK!" he replied.

 

[Dillinger]

One day the King decided that he would force all his subjects to tell the truth. A gallows was erected in front of the city gates. A herald announced, "Whoever would enter the city must first answer the truth to a question which will be put to him." Nasrudin was first in line. The captain of the guard asked him, "Where are you going? Tell the truth -- the alternative is death by hanging." "I am going," said Nasrudin, "to be hanged on that gallows." "I don't believe you." "Very well, if I have told a lie, then hang me!" "But that would make it the truth!" "Exactly," said Nasrudin, "your truth."
-----------------

(These Sufi stories of Nasrudin, meant to teach and enlighten, refer to the higher development of intuition, linked both to the emotions and the intellect, when they are functioning in a certain harmony. Sufis have traditionally spoken of the development of an "organ of perception."

Sufi teaching sees the real purpose of education as the development of capacities of perception that are latent within humanity, and which, once developed, allow the person to apply himself or herself more completely and effectively to life.)

 

[alexander tzara]

Ah! I THINK I'm getting the hang of it now, Dil.


After many days riding through the desert Nasrudin arrives on his a donkey at a small market town.

A trader, seeing the Sage, runs from behind his stall yelling, "ASS-WIPE! ASS-WIPE!"

Frowning, Nasrudin dismounts, preparing for the statutory exchange of fists.

The trader motions towards the rather dusty looking donkey. "ASS-WIPE! Finest quality, Sir. Three for the price of two - hand-stitched silk Ass-Wipes all the way from asia minor."

"That's it! I'm buying a horse," exclaims the sage.

 

[alexander tzara]

No? Nobody? And I thought New York was a tough audience.

 

[Dillinger]

Does killing time damage eternity?

 

[alexander tzara]

It depends how slow a death it is. Le Petit Mort or the eternal death.