my thread

[mrtnmoon]

you're a nice guy. i know what feeling like a fool is like so {{{{hugs}}}

*hugs* back... now... why are you calling yourself a slug? I'm nosy....

 

[Guest]

*hugs* back... now... why are you calling yourself a slug? I'm nosy....

it's no worry of yours just keep inmind that you're going through tough times and things will turn around ((((((huggles))))))

 

[mrtnmoon]

it's no worry of yours just keep inmind that you're going through tough times and things will turn around ((((((huggles))))))

*sigh*

I'm trying to show concern for someone besides myself....

 

[Guest]

*sigh*

I'm trying to show concern for someone besides myself....

sweetie, there's no need for concern...i'm fine

but i do thank you very much, though (((hugs)))

 

[mrtnmoon]

this has been a weird year for me. ordinarily, this time of year is had for me because may 19 is the anniversary of my dad's birthday. this year, so much was going on with my mom's health and mine that I barely gave it a thought. not sure what to make of it.... now that I've realized I hardly even thought of him, I'm feeling a little guilty.

 

[Buttah]

this has been a weird year for me. ordinarily, this time of year is had for me because may 19 is the anniversary of my dad's birthday. this year, so much was going on with my mom's health and mine that I barely gave it a thought. not sure what to make of it.... now that I've realized I hardly even thought of him, I'm feeling a little guilty.

Don't feel guilty, I'm sure he would understand. How are you and mom doing?

 

[mrtnmoon]

Don't feel guilty, I'm sure he would understand. How are you and mom doing?

mom is making some progress but continues to have little setbacks. I'm doing ok physically.... just battling my usual mental demons, plus the thing about dad I mentioned. one of those nights I kinda hate myself, I guess.

 

[Buttah]

mom is making some progress but continues to have little setbacks. I'm doing ok physically.... just battling my usual mental demons, plus the thing about dad I mentioned. one of those nights I kinda hate myself, I guess.

I get them too ... last week when I was so sick I guess it through my meds out of whack because Iactually felt almost suicidal for a few days. Fortunately the meds conquered my demons.

I'm praying for mom ...

 

[mrtnmoon]

I get them too ... last week when I was so sick I guess it through my meds out of whack because Iactually felt almost suicidal for a few days. Fortunately the meds conquered my demons.

I'm praying for mom ...

thanks. I'd ask you to pray for me, too, but I think by now everyone knows I don't have the balls to kill myself. I suppose I could always surprise us all someday. lol.

 

[Buttah]

thanks. I'd ask you to pray for me, too, but I think by now everyone knows I don't have the balls to kill myself. I suppose I could always surprise us all someday. lol.

Praying for you is a given Moony ...

 

[mrtnmoon]

sometimes when I make a post in another thread that might provide some insight into the mess that is me, I also post it here.... this is from a thread called "people who were bullied" or something like that.
***********************************************************
I wasn't bullied, but I was made fun of, as all fat kids are. I think it has a lot to do with my low self esteem. it doesn't matter what good things I accomplish or if I lose a bunch of weight (which I did), or whatever .... I still see myself as the fat kid, the loser... not worthy of anything good and deserving of any torment that comes my way.

for the most part I'm pretty passive, but I also find that on occasion when I get a chance to make fun of someone, I do it. I'm not proud of it, but I guess part of me feels like I earned the right treat someone else the way I was treated. then there are some people that just deserve it for the comments they make....

 

[kinkikittyn]

sometimes when I make a post in another thread that might provide some insight into the mess that is me, I also post it here.... this is from a thread called "people who were bullied" or something like that.
***********************************************************
I wasn't bullied, but I was made fun of, as all fat kids are. I think it has a lot to do with my low self esteem. it doesn't matter what good things I accomplish or if I lose a bunch of weight (which I did), or whatever .... I still see myself as the fat kid, the loser... not worthy of anything good and deserving of any torment that comes my way.

for the most part I'm pretty passive, but I also find that on occasion when I get a chance to make fun of someone, I do it. I'm not proud of it, but I guess part of me feels like I earned the right treat someone else the way I was treated. then there are some people that just deserve it for the comments they make....

the image you form of yourself is the hardest thing to change. Even when you have changed yourself physically and have accomplished many good things, the inner self or your "demons" linger. Change and self improvement is a life's work, sometimes it is discouraging to think of it that way but it can be a boost to think of what you have already accomplised.
BTW, we all do foolish things and sometimes the same foolish thing several times (I know!)...its a chance to learn more about yourself.
hug

 

[sortacurious]

sometimes when I make a post in another thread that might provide some insight into the mess that is me, I also post it here.... this is from a thread called "people who were bullied" or something like that.
***********************************************************
I wasn't bullied, but I was made fun of, as all fat kids are. I think it has a lot to do with my low self esteem. it doesn't matter what good things I accomplish or if I lose a bunch of weight (which I did), or whatever .... I still see myself as the fat kid, the loser... not worthy of anything good and deserving of any torment that comes my way.

for the most part I'm pretty passive, but I also find that on occasion when I get a chance to make fun of someone, I do it. I'm not proud of it, but I guess part of me feels like I earned the right treat someone else the way I was treated. then there are some people that just deserve it for the comments they make....

I have always been the peace maker in conflict, or avoid it outright. I usually cringe when I see someone intigate it. The GB has actually helped me see minor conflict as less devastating than I once believed.

In a way, I guess I always viewed a bullying situation as one person creating conflict, unnecessarily with someone else - with the only difference between instigating a fight and bullying being finding a hurtful, personal way to attack. Bullying by this thought is just ugly.

But, sometimes I have lately found myself having a more difficult time in resisting a jab at certain people for how they act.

I wasn't bullied either, but as many kids go through I too was made fun of. Kids are incredibly cruel.

 

[mrtnmoon]

BTW, we all do foolish things and sometimes the same foolish thing several times (I know!)...its a chance to learn more about yourself.
hug

well... I guess if I was smarter I'd learn something. I just seem to keep doing the same things over and over. maybe it's not really a case of not learning, exactly.... it's more like hoping for a different outcome. in a way, tho, it's like watching a movie you've seen many times before and hoping for a different ending anyway.

 

[mrtnmoon]

I have always been the peace maker in conflict, or avoid it outright. I usually cringe when I see someone intigate it. The GB has actually helped me see minor conflict as less devastating than I once believed.

I wasn't bullied either, but as many kids go through I too was made fun of. Kids are incredibly cruel.

I don't really like conflict, either.... there are just some people that rub me the wrong way and sometimes it's too hard not to respond.

why were you made fun of... or is that too personal?

I had a double whammy.... I was fat and my name sort of lent itself to being made fun of... a joke just waiting to happen. lol.

 

[Guest]

you told me that you don't like being called moony but people here call you that and you don't seem to mind....just curious as to why?

hugs and 's

 

[mrtnmoon]

you told me that you don't like being called moony but people here call you that and you don't seem to mind....just curious as to why?

hugs and 's

I don't remember saying that, but if I did it's probably because someone used to call me that and it makes me think about her. I guess it was also easier to just start letting it go rather than having to tell everyone "please don't call me moony".

 

[Guest]

I don't remember saying that, but if I did it's probably because someone used to call me that and it makes me think about her. I guess it was also easier to just start letting it go rather than having to tell everyone "please don't call me moony".

okies

 

[mrtnmoon]

okies

anyway, just so we're clear it's ok to call me moony. I answer to just about anything, really. if I was out somewhere and someone said, "hey dickhead," I'd probably turn around.

 

[Guest]

anyway, just so we're clear it's ok to call me moony. I answer to just about anything, really. if I was out somewhere and someone said, "hey dickhead," I'd probably turn around.

well, i think i'll just call you mrtnmoon

 

[mrtnmoon]

well, i think i'll just call you mrtnmoon

just don't call me late for dinner. lol.

 

[mrtnmoon]

I wonder why things seem to hurt more at night. I'm not just talking about mental pain, like loneliness. it kind of makes sense to me that if you're feeling lonely it would be worse at night, when everything is dark.

I'm talking about physical pain. maybe not every kind, but stuff like arthritis, or a few months ago when I tore my ACL. or my mom, who has neuropathy in her legs from being diabetic. once it starts to get dark, it seems like the ol' pain-o-meter gets cranked up a notch or two, too. any doctors out there?

 

[Guest]

I wonder why things seem to hurt more at night. I'm not just talking about mental pain, like loneliness. it kind of makes sense to me that if you're feeling lonely it would be worse at night, when everything is dark.

I'm talking about physical pain. maybe not every kind, but stuff like arthritis, or a few months ago when I tore my ACL. or my mom, who has neuropathy in her legs from being diabetic. once it starts to get dark, it seems like the ol' pain-o-meter gets cranked up a notch or two, too. any doctors out there?

i think it's just the body's way of making you want to get some rest....who knows

 

[nowgirl]

well... I guess if I was smarter I'd learn something. I just seem to keep doing the same things over and over. maybe it's not really a case of not learning, exactly.... it's more like hoping for a different outcome. in a way, tho, it's like watching a movie you've seen many times before and hoping for a different ending anyway.

mmm - i've recently come to learn that sometimes just one little thing has to change (well - i shouldn't say little 'cuz it always feels so overwhelming) for the outcome to change.

i always have the same response to confrontational (& sometimes they're just confrontational in my head...) situations - i feel backed in to a corner & wanting to defend myself...

so lately i wonder why this response? maybe it's time so get out of the corner and stop defending myself & instead say... this is just how it is!

anyways - am glad you & mom are a little bit better. take care!

 

[mrtnmoon]

i think it's just the body's way of making you want to get some rest....who knows

oh, I see how it is.... you're trying to get rid of me. lol.