My struggle with writing loving wife/swinger stories

[DanOkeffie]

Finally, I just figured it out. My challenge with this category. A husband isn't supposed to show off his wife nir should he get off on other men seeing her. There is that bond or rule just like women are not supposed to enjoy flashing or being with other men.

Oh the old school rules.

In another post about LW, several women said that women are just like men with their desires. They want to be wanted and enjoy variety. The verbage & actions might be different but we all want to be loved. We all enjoy good sex. We all love seduction or to be seduced ...

Key is, not everyone has to act on it

 

[SimonDoom]

Key is, not everyone has to act on it

But SOME can, right? Isn't that what matters?

I'm not sure about the point you are trying to make, so I won't judge, but it seems to me a good starting point is that as long as the parties involved are all informed, consenting adults, they can make whatever decisions they want to about the interplay between marriage and sexuality. There's no good basis for saying the same rules must apply to all people.

If you have a strong personal view about what a husband is "supposed to do," it's perfectly legitimate for you to have and express your view. But it's OK for others with different ideas to have and express different views, isn't it?

 

[Rob_Royale]

Oh the old school rules

Really don't apply in fiction.
In fiction we open a window and throw out the rules. We create warp drives and hobbits and monsters that die until the next sequel. No rules.

 

[alohadave]

A husband isn't supposed to show off his wife nir should he get off on other men seeing her. There is that bond or rule just like women are not supposed to enjoy flashing or being with other men.

Don't do it if you don't like it. It's not your business what anyone else does or writes about.

In another post about LW, several women said that women are just like men with their desires. They want to be wanted and enjoy variety. The verbage & actions might be different but we all want to be loved. We all enjoy good sex. We all love seduction or to be seduced ...

Key is, not everyone has to act on it

Sexist much?

Let's get this clear. A story is not real life. Why can't you people get this through your heads? Stories in LW are not real life accounts. Don't fucking read the stories in that category if they trigger you this hard.

 

[EmilyMiller]

My struggle with writing loving wife/swinger stories​

Why write what you are not into?

I’ve experimented with a few areas - e.g. Exhibitionism - which are not IRL kinks, but where I can sort of see the attraction. But I’d never write something that was antithetical to my own view of the world.

Neither should you.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

*Marks off moralistic kink shaming into the weekly AH's bingo card.*

What? I don't drink.

 

[Erozetta]

There are no generalized rules for relationships beyond the rules that a couple makes for themselves and each other.

If it isn't your relationship, what does it matter?

 

[MindYaBitness]

Finally, I just figured it out. My challenge with this category. A husband isn't supposed to show off his wife nir should he get off on other men seeing her. There is that bond or rule just like women are not supposed to enjoy flashing or being with other men.

Oh the old school rules.

In another post about LW, several women said that women are just like men with their desires. They want to be wanted and enjoy variety. The verbage & actions might be different but we all want to be loved. We all enjoy good sex. We all love seduction or to be seduced ...

Key is, not everyone has to act on it

I'm not a swinger, and I'm pretty sure that my spouse would rather die than see me have sex with another man. However, he has a borderline Candaulism kink that is hard to hide, sometimes. He LOVES when other men ogle me. Any formal event we go to, my dress has maximum cleavage. He loves when I'm presenting at conferences for my job, and other men approach me after.

He's secure in the knowledge that I've had to play dick-goalie my whole life and I'm skilled at diverting over eager guys. But, he'll admit that he loves knowing that they want me, but I'm going back to the hotel room with him. He feels "bonded", as you say, by objectifying me a bit. Knowing that I gladly allow him to parade me out like a possession for others to admire. If he weren't so shy about sex in general, I think he'd enjoy watching another man actually touch me, seeing him get excited & pull me away leaving the other guy with blue balls. He's almost do e something similar already.

So, I'd not say that your wrong, but simply that you're not being creative in the different shades that committed relationships comes in.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Is the OP really dictating morality to others, or simply saying why he personally can’t write those stories? Maybe I missed something ?

I know he’s expressing a world view, but I’m not sure he is saying it has to be everyone else’s world view.

 

[SimonDoom]

Is the OP really dictating morality to others, or simply saying why he personally can’t write those stories? Maybe I missed something ?

I know he’s expressing a world view, but I’m not sure he is saying it has to be everyone else’s world view.

I agree, so I tried to be a bit cautious with my reply, since he didn't make that clear.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

In general I wouldn't look to fiction for role models. Not even erotic fiction.

Unless it's a harem bondage story and then I mean of course obviously.

 

[Comshaw]

Finally, I just figured it out. My challenge with this category. A husband isn't supposed to show off his wife nir should he get off on other men seeing her. There is that bond or rule just like women are not supposed to enjoy flashing or being with other men.

Oh the old school rules.

In another post about LW, several women said that women are just like men with their desires. They want to be wanted and enjoy variety. The verbage & actions might be different but we all want to be loved. We all enjoy good sex. We all love seduction or to be seduced ...

Key is, not everyone has to act on it

Me thinks there are more than just me who are confused by your post. Are you voicing your personal distaste for swinging or exhibitionism or voyeurism or all of the above? Or just saying you can't write a story about those things?

If it is the former, are you expressing this as a, "This is how I feel about it" or a "nobody should be doing that"?

The first is absolutely acceptable. We all have things we do not like in the erotic world. And it's completely acceptable to voice our personal dislike for those things.

BUUUUT, if it's a judgement of what others like, a putdown because you don't like that particular thing so you are intent on making sure you show your dislike for not only the act but the people that engage in it, that isn't acceptable.

Since I can't tell for sure which it is, perhaps you would be so kind as to enlighten me?



Comshaw

 

[Lifestyle66]

Whether the OP is for or against LW sharing or not understanding why men may or may not want their wives shown or shared, I'll voice my opinions.

If you have a shiny, fast sports car, large diamond ring, or some other "desired bauble", I think most people (husbands or wives) enjoy showing it off. But you only do so knowing its yours and will always be yours. You wouldn't hand the keys to your sports car to a stranger to drive it unless you trusted that stranger and knew they'd return it.

If you are NOT sure of the situation or others lusting after it, then you protect your treasured asset.

The same goes for your spouse. Those who are self-confident and in a secure relationship might enjoy showing off their spouse and even allow others to take the spouse for a test drive. The sports car gets to do what the sports car was designed to do, which is be driven fast and often, and being desired by others!!!

So, who would be the type to greedily, selfishly hide their treasure?



EDIT: Hint, it's the insecure, unsure types who worry their treasure won't return to them or that it will be broken and not the same. Maybe the sports car wants that race car driver again instead of the slow, little old guy who owns it.

 

[LKincaid42]

I'm not a swinger, and I'm pretty sure that my spouse would rather die than see me have sex with another man. However, he has a borderline Candaulism kink that is hard to hide, sometimes. He LOVES when other men ogle me. Any formal event we go to, my dress has maximum cleavage. He loves when I'm presenting at conferences for my job, and other men approach me after.

Your husband and I would bond over this shared kink if he were only here! I'd even scratch that kink itch for him by willingly admitting to being one of the hundreds (thousands?) that enjoy ogling you on Lit. If others followed suit he might kink OD if such a thing were possible.

Is the OP trying to figure out why they are so triggered by swinger stories? Usually if something isn’t for me I just move on without a deep analysis of why. Perhaps the OP is simultaneously intrigued and repulsed by the idea of his wife with other men? That would be something worth exploring I think.

I’m definitely intrigued by the idea of another man or woman touching my wife, she is regrettably less intrigued with the idea.

 

[DanOkeffie]

Is the OP really dictating morality to others, or simply saying why he personally can’t write those stories? Maybe I missed something ?

I know he’s expressing a world view, but I’m not sure he is saying it has to be everyone else’s world view.

Whom am I to judge others? Im nobody!

A product of nuture ie religion

 

[SimonDoom]

Whom am I to judge others? Im nobody!

A product of nuture ie religion

Which is not an answer to her question. It's a legitimate question, especially considering you are participating in an erotic story website, something many people, based on their "religion," among other reasons, would consider immoral in and of itself. Your opening comment suggests--maybe this isn't what you meant, but it suggests--that you're happy to indulge in your own kinks but judge others for having their own.

 

[DanOkeffie]

Me thinks there are more than just me who are confused by your post. Are you voicing your personal distaste for swinging or exhibitionism or voyeurism or all of the above? Or just saying you can't write a story about those things?

If it is the former, are you expressing this as a, "This is how I feel about it" or a "nobody should be doing that"?

The first is absolutely acceptable. We all have things we do not like in the erotic world. And it's completely acceptable to voice our personal dislike for those things.

BUUUUT, if it's a judgement of what others like, a putdown because you don't like that particular thing so you are intent on making sure you show your dislike for not only the act but the people that engage in it, that isn't acceptable.

Since I can't tell for sure which it is, perhaps you would be so kind as to enlighten me?



Comshaw

Whether the OP is for or against LW sharing or not understanding why men may or may not want their wives shown or shared, I'll voice my opinions.

If you have a shiny, fast sports car, large diamond ring, or some other "desired bauble", I think most people (husbands or wives) enjoy showing it off. But you only do so knowing its yours and will always be yours. You wouldn't hand the keys to your sports car to a stranger to drive it unless you trusted that stranger and knew they'd return it.

If you are NOT sure of the situation or others lusting after it, then you protect your treasured asset.

The same goes for your spouse. Those who are self-confident and in a secure relationship might enjoy showing off their spouse and even allow others to take the spouse for a test drive. The sports car gets to do what the sports car was designed to do, which is be driven fast and often, and being desired by others!!!

So, who would be the type to greedily, selfishly hide their treasure?



EDIT: Hint, it's the insecure, unsure types who worry their treasure won't return to them or that it will be broken and not the same. Maybe the sports car wants that race car driver again instead of the slow, little old guy who owns it.

I've never been in a relationship where 'she' wanted to swing or 3somes. However I have been the 3somes with another couple.

One couple that I was with for years, he loved watching me with his wife