My open letter to the SoCal leatherwoman's sash council

[Stella_Omega]

There aren't many leatherwomen in So Cal. In an effort to generate interest in the sash, its owner has been publicising the contest as a themed party.

This year's theme is "Sin, punishment, penance" and promises nuns and confessionals, priests and catholic school uniforms, for "The good of your perverted soul."

I want to express my anger and dismay regarding this year's theme choice for the SoCal Leatherwoman's Sash event on OCT 6. I think it is entirely disrespectful to showcase a single fetish this way, at a public event that is, in fact, about something entirely different.

For myself, I'm an atheist. I detest religion, I spend incredible amounts of energy keeping it out of my life via political and social pressure, and it dries my cunt right up to even think about religion in my sex life.

There may well be other people who consider religion an actually sacred part of their lives, not meant to be lampooned in this fashion.

I have been handed barcards that featured 'nuns' and crosses etc. I throw them away mostly without reading them, figuring that this kink is not my kink and there is no need for me to go to a party that features a kink that I don't enjoy. I want to make it clear though, that my silence about why I have not been there-- Is in no way tacit assent.

That's why I am writing this essay, because I was told that a "casual survey" of the theme brought up "only one person" who said they were uncomfortable. If the casual survey had included me, there would have been "only two people." (I have a feeling that the October event is exactly the barcard I tossed, and -- if I HAD read it, which I didn't want to HAVE to do-- I would have known about this notion soon enough to maybe point out what a bad idea it is.)

As I say, I can choose to not be at parties that feature play with religion, I don't need to appear and tell people how disgusting I think it is. That's not my business. Your kink is your pleasure.

But SCLW sash is not just any old party. It's inclusive, and the sash wearer represents all women in BDSM. Including the women who have a deep dislike for religion, AND the women who have a deep sense of the sacred. As a matter of fact, the leather woman sash does not represent drag troups, gay men, vanilla anybody, or shih-tzu puppies. All of which are lovely people, but they all have their own representation.

I should NOT have to make a difficult decision about whether or not to attend a public event-- even a political event, in a sense-- event that is meant to be for me and people like me.

Moreover, I cannot think of many things that are further from the Leather ethos than religious cant. Leather style BDSM is secular and humanistic. It teaches a tribal authority, human being to human being. That's one of the biggest reasons why I call myself a Leatherwoman.

I hope that 2013 theme will be "Welcome Back to Leather." I think we need that.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

:: Slow, serious applause ::

 

[Netzach]

I think you have a good point, which is that you need something that resonates widely for an event of that scope.

It's fine for a party or something which you can pass up on a one-off basis like you said.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Trust you to put it in a nutshell, Netzach!

 

[Etoile]

You rock, Stella. I haven't heard about this event, the only West Coast event I know anything about is IMsL (because Glenda posts about it to Facebook pretty much every day), but this is *definitely* not something I would be interested in either. (Not that anybody would casually survey me either!)

 

[Vixandra]

Haven't been able to make it into LA for events like I want to but even if I could, I would avoid anything with the title: “ Penance: Time to Pay for all Your Sins” just on principal. I'm not sure I'd want anything to do with the organization that would put on an event like that either.

Nothing wrong with rubber nuns and leather priests but to dedicate a party to that vein of kink when you're goal is to reach out to women of all sorts of kink just doesn't make sense to me. Surely more than one person on their board had to have thought "this could be kind of a lot offensive" at some point in the theme decision process.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I suggested an "athiest's corner" to one of the organizers yesterday, and got a mighty defensive response, to the effect of "Well, everyone should just have fun with this."

What I find interesting is the number of people who, at first, think I am saying that I just don't care about religious imagery. I do-- passionately. I detest it, and you all know that I choose my words fairly carefully.

Ah, well.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I suggested an "athiest's corner" to one of the organizers yesterday, and got a mighty defensive response, to the effect of "Well, everyone (whose kink matches mine) should just have fun with this, and everyone else is just wrong."

What I find interesting is the number of people who, at first, think I am saying that I just don't care about religious imagery. I do-- passionately. I detest it, and you all know that I choose my words fairly carefully.

Ah, well.

Clarified the defensive response for you.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Clarified the defensive response for you.

It's a shame you can't clarify her response for her.

 

[Shankara20]

:: Slow, serious applause ::

::growing louder as others join in applauding::