my mind hurts.

[Pyro Paul]

have any of you gone through a fit of depression, you know where your brain is constantly in pain and you got that sinking feeling in your chest that makes you wanna cry. the feeling that your entier world is built around nothingness and pain, that your gunna be alone for your entire life... where the last vespeges of stanaty are clinging on to the edge of your brain befor your mind snaps...

yeah... how do you get rid of that?

 

[Lynxie]

All the time. It's no fun. Check out this thread.

 

[bisexplicit]

Sorry to hear that you're going through that.

I hope you're seeking help.

 

[FurryFury]

Yes!!! I do!

Check this out!

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=353188

So sorry you are feeling this way. It really, really sucks. One feels slow, stuck and miserable.

Fury

 

[Gods_Favorite]

I feel like that alot, especially now with my marriage detoriarating.

 

[Pyro Paul]

Sorry to hear that you're going through that.

I hope you're seeking help.

unfortunatly help doesnt me. im not insane... and im too smart for all that stuff to work.(yes you can be too smart for it)

my depression is acctualy very weird. and id rather not explain all the details. its just diffrent than normal.

also, let me say this since those threads are mostly directed towards people that are suffering from the chemical imbalance of mental depression caused by phsycial charicteristics. Unfortunatly i dont fit that catagory. mine is induced by trama/stress from day to day life.

my cry out is its getting to be too much. and its starting to etch away on the inards of my mind slowly driving me insane.

in the most part im asking. why the hell is the world stacked against me? and in attempt to not be a bleeding heart thinking that my world is the worst, what can i do against this aside from letting my mind snap and killing some one?

 

[fgarvb1]

Sure.

But life has its ups and downs.

First thing step back, Take a look at your life.

Does it really suck?

I mean is it really that bad?

Are you tired of it?

Are YOU ready to do something about it.

No matter how much it hurts?

No matter how much time it takes?

No matter what it cost?

Do YOU want to have a happy life?

Depressed?

GET off your ass and ask someone for help.

NOW.

Because unless it is a chemical imbalance in your brain, You are going to have to do it yourself with a helping hand from some other people.

Scared? It's time to be scared.

The road to a happy life from the depths of depression is scary.

And well worth it.

 

[Private_Label]

unfortunatly help doesnt me. im not insane... and im too smart for all that stuff to work.(yes you can be too smart for it)...

... those threads are mostly directed towards people that are suffering from the chemical imbalance of mental depression caused by phsycial charicteristics. Unfortunatly i dont fit that catagory. mine is induced by trama/stress from day to day life.
... what can i do against this aside from letting my mind snap and killing some one?

In addition to seeing a psychologist to help you learn coping strategies, I would also suggest you see a psychiatrist who can prescibe drug therapy as well. Even trama/stress of every day life can cause a chemical imbalance (yes, any stress when it goes on long enough can cause a drop in seretonin and screw up your balance on other neurotransmitters- which leads to the clinical aspects of depression) - Some people are genetically wired for depression - in other words, you can be living a normal happy life and still suffer from depression.

I've been on anti depressants long term - not ever anti depressant works well for me. Prozac left me feeling like a zombie. A combination of Zoloft and Trazadone lets me have normal emotions most of the time. I still have good days and bad days, but at least I have the ability to have the good ones now.

As for your day to day trama/stress... is it the kind of stress you can change someting in your life and be able to get away from it (i.e. a job you can leave or ask for a transfer to a different department, or a full time caregiver to a family member who could hire a nurse for a few hours a day to get a break for yourself)? If you can't get away from the stress, I can't say enough times, get professional help and don't rely on going it alone. Especially if you feel like taking it out in a physical way on other people.

 

[brioche]

unfortunatly help doesnt me. im not insane... and im too smart for all that stuff to work.(yes you can be too smart for it)

my depression is acctualy very weird. and id rather not explain all the details. its just diffrent than normal.

also, let me say this since those threads are mostly directed towards people that are suffering from the chemical imbalance of mental depression caused by phsycial charicteristics. Unfortunatly i dont fit that catagory. mine is induced by trama/stress from day to day life.

my cry out is its getting to be too much. and its starting to etch away on the inards of my mind slowly driving me insane.

in the most part im asking. why the hell is the world stacked against me? and in attempt to not be a bleeding heart thinking that my world is the worst, what can i do against this aside from letting my mind snap and killing some one?

I don't get what you mean by too smart. I am in the 97th to 98th percentile and therapy worked just fine for me. You have to be willing to work with it, though, you can't just expect it to work without effort. Also the type of therapy has to be a good fit with you.

Trauma and or stress can be a cause of chemical depression. They can also cause PTSD, which can present as depression and anxiety.

If you are seriously depressed for a long period of time, you have the chemical imbalance - a depletion of serotonin and norepinephrine, regardless of WHY you got depressed. Therefore you should see your doctor and some form of therapist.

You also sound like you've got some anxiety working in there too. In fact, you sound a lot like I did shortly before being diagnosed with anxiety disorder as well as depression (I knew about the depression).

You need to get help. Now.

 

[FurryFury]

Yep, getting the idea you are too smart or being too smart, can help you get in your own way.

Don't let it!

*hugs*

Fury

 

[SlyKitten]

You don't have to be insane to seek help; I'm sure you see a doctor regularly for your body's well being. Seeing a psychotherapist is pretty much the equivalent: seeing a doctor for your emotional well being.

Also, there are a lot of different kinds of therapy out there; you have to find one that works for you. I think that behavorial-cognitive is the quickest and most effective: your therapist will work with you, give you feedback and suport you, like a non judgmental, unbiased friend.

 

[FurryFury]

You don't have to be insane to seek help; I'm sure you see a doctor regularly for your body's well being. Seeing a psychotherapist is pretty much the equivalent: seeing a doctor for your emotional well being.

Also, there are a lot of different kinds of therapy out there; you have to find one that works for you. I personally think that behavorial-cognitive is the quickest and most effective: your therapist will work with you, give you feedback and suport you, like a non judgmental, unbiased friend.

I agree with you SlyKitten!

Behavioral-cognitive based approaches can be very effective. Of all the methods that one just "speaks" to me as the way to go. Good link!

Fury

 

[AppleBiter]

Sure.

But life has its ups and downs.

First thing step back, Take a look at your life.

Does it really suck?

I mean is it really that bad?

Are you tired of it?

Are YOU ready to do something about it.

No matter how much it hurts?

No matter how much time it takes?

No matter what it cost?

Do YOU want to have a happy life?

Depressed?

GET off your ass and ask someone for help.

NOW.

Because unless it is a chemical imbalance in your brain, You are going to have to do it yourself with a helping hand from some other people.

Scared? It's time to be scared.

The road to a happy life from the depths of depression is scary.

And well worth it.

I just had to quote this advice so it would appear again. Well said, fgarvb1!! I just hope, Pyro, that you're not too arrogant to listen to it. Socrates said the first step to wisdom is admitting that you know nothing and based on results, you know nothing about your depression except the fact that it's making you miserable. Time to talk to someone who knows. Seek therapy.

 

[M's girl]

I had just read some of your comments in several threads and indeed thought you came up with clever answers. I liked them. Based on those you kind of draw yourself a picture of someone, you know? I figured you were a clever person who had his act together and his two feet solid on the ground. It surprised me to see you start this thread but it's all good. It's good you are talking about it and in a way you are seeking advice already... with us at LIT. I was even more surprised that you would think you would be too smart for professional help. No one is. People in the highest positions in companies or politics have advisers that help them with matters of the mind, why shouldn't you?

I was depressed a long time ago. I went for help and during the first few sessions with a therapist I was more confused and angry than ever. After that I started to realize that she started to make me think differently about things; look at it from another angle. In the end it's not much she did that helped; it's what she made me reflect upon that did. It was great and very helpful!

Allow yourself that priviledge too....

 

[Pyro Paul]

you see its diffrent with me. im not sure how i can explain this so well with out devulging so much so information that i wish to retain.

ive been to therapy, to psychitrists, docters, and every thing else under the sun. they all say, i am perfectly healthy and require no treatment what so ever. ive been to many people that tried to help me, only to look at me after 4 or 5 visits and say, there is nothing wrong with you, go away. docters and all feilds of medicne saying there is no chemical imbalince or other affactors that would cause me any stress that would lead to depression.

im just Sad all the time.

ive been put on meds, done special mind exersizes and everything. nothing helps me. im just diffrent.

i think its because of the life i lead that is finaly catching up to me. and the things i used to run from so long ago are now cascading against the walls of my thoughts yearning to fill my mind.

maybe i am going insane... all every one can say is seek help in profissonals and they have already failed me... 5 times now.

maybe im just yearning out for attention and i want to be one of those psychos having to talk hundreds of pills every morning. im just not sure any more.

 

[FurryFury]

you see its diffrent with me. im not sure how i can explain this so well with out devulging so much so information that i wish to retain.

ive been to therapy, to psychitrists, docters, and every thing else under the sun. they all say, i am perfectly healthy and require no treatment what so ever. ive been to many people that tried to help me, only to look at me after 4 or 5 visits and say, there is nothing wrong with you, go away. docters and all feilds of medicne saying there is no chemical imbalince or other affactors that would cause me any stress that would lead to depression.

im just Sad all the time.

ive been put on meds, done special mind exersizes and everything. nothing helps me. im just diffrent.

i think its because of the life i lead that is finaly catching up to me. and the things i used to run from so long ago are now cascading against the walls of my thoughts yearning to fill my mind.

maybe i am going insane... all every one can say is seek help in profissonals and they have already failed me... 5 times now.

maybe im just yearning out for attention and i want to be one of those psychos having to talk hundreds of pills every morning. im just not sure any more.

Well Pyro Paul, I feel you. No, I am not exactly the same as you, or any other human. Yet the commonalities of emotion among humans is more alike than dissimilar over all.

I have never found "professionals" to be very helpful to me personally or my Mother.

I have had to help my own damn self. The only good thing about it is, I know I fucking care enough to do whatever it takes.

Finding the right tools, developing the right skills, these things are not always intuitive. They are often a struggle but you can do it.

*hugs*

Fury

 

[SlyKitten]

First of all, if you seek help (or advice) it woud be a good idea to divulge everything. Without knowing the whole of the problem, it is very difficult to give appropriate advice. If you kept such things from your therapists/doctors/psychiatrists/whatever, no wonder they said you didn't need help.

Second, to get rid of the sad feeling, one has to change, and has to want to change, the way one thinks. I used to be depressed and very troubled, and went to a lot of therapists before finding one that could actually help me (which, by the way, was using a cognitive-behavorial approach - I did the psychoanalysis thing; retrospection and all... didn't work for me either). And I had to want to let him help me; nobody can help me if I don't let them.

So if I had kept saying "I'm different and nothing will work, period!", I would still be stuck in that sadness and desperation, blaming everyone and most of all myself for feeling so down all the time.

 

[Pyro Paul]

First of all, if you seek help (or advice) it woud be a good idea to divulge everything. Without knowing the whole of the problem, it is very difficult to give appropriate advice. If you kept such things from your therapists/doctors/psychiatrists/whatever, no wonder they said you didn't need help.

Second, to get rid of the sad feeling, one has to change, and has to want to change, the way one thinks. I used to be depressed and very troubled, and went to a lot of therapists before finding one that could actually help me (which, by the way, was using a cognitive-behavorial approach - I did the psychoanalysis thing; retrospection and all... didn't work for me either). And I had to want to let him help me; nobody can help me if I don't let them.

So if I had kept saying "I'm different and nothing will work, period!", I would still be stuck in that sadness and desperation, blaming everyone and most of all myself for feeling so down all the time.

im not telling everything here because this is a public forum. i dont want to rub of as that psychoticly demented blackhearted freak that you dont want to talk to. id rather make friends and keep secrets.

in private with me talking to who ever i will always divulge any and all information. its how im built. if you PMed me and i am assured that this is just a personal between you and me thing i would tell You every thing and anything. ive learned you hvae to be very careful when you say things aloud or else you wont have any friends. (i learned this since i have no friends.)

 

[QueenObeymee]

Unfortunatly i dont fit that catagory. mine is induced by trama/stress from day to day life.

my cry out is its getting to be too much. and its starting to etch away on the inards of my mind slowly driving me insane.

I'm wondering, have you ever thought about exercise to take away the stress? Like go to a gym and put on a pair of boxing gloves and beat the shit out of a punching bag?Take a friend along with you, to hold the bag, and talk it out. Of course the friend would need to be someone you trust (like your SO) and talk, scream, punch, hit. It might make you feel better. And in your previous post you stated that you felt like crying.... It may make it so that you can cry and get it out.

Just my $.02

 

[Pyro Paul]

People are intresting. and i enjoy watching all of you try and help in the ways you know how. i thank you for attempting to difine the way in which you deam fit of a path which i should tread.

i suppose i was out reaching for something a little basic such as minor attention and feed back. oddly enough i am getting the feeling that i am being ignored and or hated by every one around me. maybe it is just a phase. im not sure any more.

im sorry if i may come off as psychotic or pig head of saying im not getting treatment for my specific ailments. i truely dont mean to.

Pyro~
~Paul

 

[Private_Label]

ive been to therapy, to psychiatrists, doctors, and every thing else under the sun. they all say, i am perfectly healthy and require no treatment what so ever. ive been to many people that tried to help me, only to look at me after 4 or 5 visits and say, there is nothing wrong with you, go away. docters and all fields of medicine saying there is no chemical imbalance or other affactors that would cause me any stress that would lead to depression.

OK... so either you are not telling your therapists everything, or you are seeing the wrong doctors. Medication not working? a few suggestions
1.)it's the wrong med for you, 2.) the dosage isn't high enough (I once started taking Zoloft at 50 mg, and ended up needing 200 of it) 3.) you haven't given the medication time to be effective. Most anti-depressants can take as much as 6 to 8 weeks for you to notice a difference. It took me about 2 weeks to notice a few changes with Zoloft and a while later I needed to add trazadone to help with the edginess the Zoloft caused. It was a relief to finally feel somewhat normal after feeling so crappy.

Good therapists and doctors do not tell people seeking help "there is nothing wrong with you, go away." Even Hypochondriacs get a fair hearing.

im just Sad all the time.

You really need to go find a different doctor then, if the current ones are not listening to you.

ive been put on meds, done special mind exersizes and everything. nothing helps me. im just diffrent.

Then you need to work with your doctor to find out what may be able to help you.

i think its because of the life i lead that is finaly catching up to me. and the things i used to run from so long ago are now cascading against the walls of my thoughts yearning to fill my mind.

OK... not knowing your history on this I really can't comment. But if you have a drug dependence or other such thing and haven't disclosed it to your doctor, that could interfere with finding the proper medication. Drinking alcohol with meds can have nasty effects.

maybe i am going insane... all every one can say is seek help in professionals and they have already failed me... 5 times now.

maybe im just yearning out for attention and i want to be one of those psychos having to talk hundreds of pills every morning. im just not sure any more.

Well, maybe you just haven't found the correct doctor yet. Have you looked into finding one that treats patients with your general history?

If the doctors which have failed you are general practitioners, then you need to be seeing a specialist. If you are a soldier who was in any war related activities, you need to talk to a doctor who works with veterans and is familiar with the stresses that come from that field. Same for other types of abuse.

Don't expect any doctor to fix the problem over night. Sometimes it can take years of work to find the right combination of therapies (medication, behavioral, philosophical) but if you give up in a month or two, you will never be able to find the right combination.

People are intresting. and i enjoy watching all of you try and help in the ways you know how. i thank you for attempting to difine the way in which you deam fit of a path which i should tread.

i suppose i was out reaching for something a little basic such as minor attention and feed back. oddly enough i am getting the feeling that i am being ignored and or hated by every one around me. maybe it is just a phase. im not sure any more.

im sorry if i may come off as psychotic or pig head of saying im not getting treatment for my specific ailments. i truely dont mean to.

Well, they say you get what you pay for. Our advice is free. But if you don't want to see a psychological therapist, or a psychiatrist, there isn't a whole lot more I can offer you.

For me, Prozac left me feeling down and like a zombie, the combination of Zoloft and Trazadone has worked well for me. Wellbutrin is another anti-depressant. Paxil, an anti-anxiety. Some of these you may need to take in combination with each other in order to get relief. But you will never know for certain if you don't try.

I might also suggest light therapy - sometimes depression is a result of not getting enough full spectrum light during the day. Other illnesses can cause depression -

Sleep Apnea, Insomnia, Restless Leg syndrom (also called Periodic Limb movement), Night Terrors... anything that disrupts sleep has the potential to cause depression - because deep sleep is needed to revitalize our minds - both physically and mentally.

Long term chronic illnesses can contribute to it.

You need to look at everything, and find the real cause of the symptoms. Then maybe the doctors can help you find something that will help you.

 

[FurryFury]

im not telling everything here because this is a public forum. i dont want to rub of as that psychoticly demented blackhearted freak that you dont want to talk to. id rather make friends and keep secrets.

in private with me talking to who ever i will always divulge any and all information. its how im built. if you PMed me and i am assured that this is just a personal between you and me thing i would tell You every thing and anything. ive learned you hvae to be very careful when you say things aloud or else you wont have any friends. (i learned this since i have no friends.)

Then again should the "worst" happen one could always make a new site name.

Bingo! Fresh slate and you get to be a virgin, again!

Wow!

Lit is too fucking cool!

Fury

 

[Cathleen]

Welcome to Lit. Paul.

Sorry you're having such sadness in your life. I have a question for you. Has talking with people here helped at all? I think its great you've been talking here, even if some of the responses aren't on your target.

Have you felt anything lift your spirits, if only for a few moments?

 

[karndav]

the only thing that has helped me is medication combined with therapy. i no longer am in therapy but will be on medication for the rest of my life.

i am sorry you are in such pain and feel so alone. i hope you find some peace soon.