GodBlessTexas
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2004
- Posts
- 92
As promised in another thread (https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=239202), here is my impression of Europeans. Enjoy, and be sure to tell me how off-base I am.
1. Europeans get all their news from tabloids. Similarly, The Daily Mirror or The Sun is much more journalistically reliable and accurate than CNN, the AP, or Reuters.
2. Europe produces kick-ass musicians. To prove the point, as I flip through my CD case, I see Queen, Ozzy, Frampton, The Beatles, AC/DC, Led Zepellin, just to name a few. (This one’s a fact...no false impressions here!)
3. Europeans wear wedding bands on the wrong (right) hand. Also, many drive on the wrong (left) side of the road.
4. Europeans speak English almost properly, except for a couple of exceptions. One, the whole “putting an R at the end of words that end with an A” thing. The example that sticks out in my head is Oasis’ song, “Champagne Supernova,” which when sung by the band, comes out sounding like “Champagne Supernover.” Two, leaving out the T’s in the middle of a word. It’s not a “bottle,” it’s a “bo - le.” I don’t think English is spoken in the U.S. anymore. We speak “American,” or in my neck of the woods, “Texican.” T’s sound like D’s, contractions are a must, and hybrid word combinations such as “wanna” and “gonna” are basically a requirement.
5. Most Europeans drive cars smaller than the smallest American-made car. The parking places are even smaller than that. Parallel parking involves pulling forward until you bump the car in front, backing up until you bump the car in back, and so on until you are sufficiently in the parking place.
6. Ice is despised by Europeans in any sort of culinary sense. If you don’t think so, try to get a soda with more than two cubes of ice. Better yet, try to find a glass of iced tea. I tried once. I was handed a hot mug of tea, along with a glass containing the customary two ice cubes. In Europe, ice serves one purpose: a surface for skating and puck handling.
7. All European government vehicles are required to contain the stereotypical, annoying, wailing siren that so aptly demonstrates the Doppler effect (pitch “gets lower” after the sound source passes you).
That's all I could come up with for now. I'll add more as I think of them!
1. Europeans get all their news from tabloids. Similarly, The Daily Mirror or The Sun is much more journalistically reliable and accurate than CNN, the AP, or Reuters.
2. Europe produces kick-ass musicians. To prove the point, as I flip through my CD case, I see Queen, Ozzy, Frampton, The Beatles, AC/DC, Led Zepellin, just to name a few. (This one’s a fact...no false impressions here!)
3. Europeans wear wedding bands on the wrong (right) hand. Also, many drive on the wrong (left) side of the road.
4. Europeans speak English almost properly, except for a couple of exceptions. One, the whole “putting an R at the end of words that end with an A” thing. The example that sticks out in my head is Oasis’ song, “Champagne Supernova,” which when sung by the band, comes out sounding like “Champagne Supernover.” Two, leaving out the T’s in the middle of a word. It’s not a “bottle,” it’s a “bo - le.” I don’t think English is spoken in the U.S. anymore. We speak “American,” or in my neck of the woods, “Texican.” T’s sound like D’s, contractions are a must, and hybrid word combinations such as “wanna” and “gonna” are basically a requirement.
5. Most Europeans drive cars smaller than the smallest American-made car. The parking places are even smaller than that. Parallel parking involves pulling forward until you bump the car in front, backing up until you bump the car in back, and so on until you are sufficiently in the parking place.
6. Ice is despised by Europeans in any sort of culinary sense. If you don’t think so, try to get a soda with more than two cubes of ice. Better yet, try to find a glass of iced tea. I tried once. I was handed a hot mug of tea, along with a glass containing the customary two ice cubes. In Europe, ice serves one purpose: a surface for skating and puck handling.
7. All European government vehicles are required to contain the stereotypical, annoying, wailing siren that so aptly demonstrates the Doppler effect (pitch “gets lower” after the sound source passes you).
That's all I could come up with for now. I'll add more as I think of them!
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