My girlfriend has talked me to tears.

[destinie21]

I know a relatioship needs communiction and I'm all for that
but my girlfriend wants to talk about every emotional nuance in my introverted personality. I don't know what to do. We talk more than those bitches on the veiw. god damn

 

[destinie21]

I just went and ordered my girlfreind a pair on Jimmy Choo's and a Burberry coat that she's been feenin for to be giftwrapped and delivered two day mail because I know I'm gonna snap at her and then she'll get upset and start crying. Then I'll feel guilty and she'll be mad. See I know there's going to be a fight so I already ordered the make up gift.

 

[Guest]

Dest, a pair of Jimmy Choo's as a makeup prezzie? *I'll* be your gurlfriend!

take care of YOURself first, hon.

Perdita

 

[The_Fool]

Icky emotions

My wife is a social worker. I am an engineer. She thrives on emotions and feelings. I look at flows and constraints and seek the most objective viewpoint. Our household is quite interesting.

In a way it's good for both of us. Makes us learn to be that much more accepting, despite the fact that I irritate the shit out of her and she drives me fucking insane...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

destinie, have you seen the episode of SATC when Maria and Samantha are in the tub, and Maria wants to talk, and Samantha looks all desperate?

"MORE...talking?"

 

[BlackSnake]

I haven't had the opportunity to get bored with what my girl has to say yet...

I guess that I would jump into a repeat mode, so that she wouldn't notice that I really want her to shut up. She haven't showed me any signs of being overly emotional yet. I buy her stuff all the time, so it would be difficult to purchase a special gift.

I think it maybe good to let her know when she is being to chatty. If it bugs you and you do nothing about it, you might end up not liking her as much.

 

[MathGirl]

Dest, a pair of Jimmy Choo's

Is that some kind of Chinese food?
MG
Ps. I know. I don't get out enough.

 

[Guest]

Is that some kind of Chinese food? MG
Ps. I know. I don't get out enough.

MG, a subscription to Vogue is in the mail.

Chicly yours, Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by perdita MG, a subscription to Vogue is in the mail.

Dear Perdita,
Oh, hot damn! It will go so nicely on the coffee table with my scientific journals and "Baseball Weekly."
MG

 

[Guest]

La Fille du Mathemetics

Scientific journals on coffee table
Doesn't know Jimmy Choo from Haiku
D'oh! Needs Vogue

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Jimmy Shoe's into Feng Shui.

 

[destinie21]

This is the shoe . It's really more of a present for me that her . lol

 

[gauchecritic]

Don't know if this gains me any Kudos at all with all you fashion types but Burberrys (the factory) is about a 10 minute walk from where I work. They have a factory shop too.

Note for Nicole. The latest hooligan gear over here is Burberry baseball caps. (A little bit passe now that it's become a fashion item)

Gauche

 

[MathGirl]

that is a Jimmy Choo

Oh. Cool shoes. Too bad there's nothing in 2.5 narrow.
MG

 

[Guest]

Stick to gaucheness, Gauche

O, you dear provincial sweetheart. Chic women like me, Dest, MG (yeah even the little scientist) and Flicka think of Burberry-wear for grannies (no offense meant, much) and uptight suburbanites. One would never wear a Burberry with Jimmy Choo's. Tchah!

I bet women really confound you; eh, Yorkshire?

Purr

p.s. you may PM me first when next you venture into female topics as foreign as fashion.

Edited: Not sure whether to delete Dest or her gf from above, but those shoes are hot! Getting laid in those: sigh...

 

[destinie21]

here's the girl that's gonna wear it













Don't know what went awry with the last post but here's the shoe

 

[gauchecritic]

I'll bet Slavemaster's thread is aimed specifically at you Dest.

Never mind about Burberrys (what do yanks know about fashion anyway they had to build their own Paris for fucks sake) the post was mainly for BluePen.

Gauche

 

[Guest]

"Yanks", ouch. I deserved it, GC; got carried away, happens some times.

Purr

p.s. I do lots of odd things 'for fucks sake'.

 

[destinie21]

Well I did it. I politely told my gf to" give me a fuckin break with all your incessant talking" Mind you it's not what she has to say that the problem just that she has so much to say. And as expected she cried and called me selfish and cold hearted which I agreed with. (Agreeing only made thing worse) I have to wonder if someone was observing us how it would have looked. I rarely get emotional so she literally weeping and I'm like calm down I can't understand what your saying. If it wouldn't have incitied her to rage I would have laughed. Now thankfully I'm getting the silent treatment but the presents should be in todays mail so hopefully I'll be having make up sex tonight.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Beautiful drawing, des!


Actually, Perdita, I wouldn't say anything about Burberry, because I don't know what it is. I'm sure it makes a tasty pie, though.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Des, I read a theory about Hunter/Prey behaviour in relationships. Apparently, most couples take on different roles in the relationship. If one is very forward and "aggressive", then the other tends to be become shy and withdrawn. The more aggressive the first one gets in his/her attempt to drag the shy one out of his/her shell, the MORE shy this partner is going to get!

A way to break the pattern, which usually leads to both parties being frustrated with the others characteristics, is to stop playing the game. Instead of trying to pull the shy partner out, the aggressive partner should try to act calm and quiet, and avoid anthing confrontational for a little while.

This will most likely make the shy one curious to see what's going on when everything's so quiet, and so he/she will come out and start talking by own free will.

This situation with you and your girlfriend reminds me of a friend I had in junior high. She would go on and on and on and on about her pets, her relatives, and her relatives' pets (she was slightly retarded, and had trouble talking about anything out of her circle of life), and she just wouldn't shut up, ever! So, I learned that the best way to keep her quiet was to talk myself, endlessly, about anything. She was horrible to listen to, but she was a great listener herself.

 

[destinie21]

Des, I read a theory about Hunter/Prey behaviour in relationships. Apparently, most couples take on different roles in the relationship. If one is very forward and "aggressive", then the other tends to be become shy and withdrawn. The more aggressive the first one gets in his/her attempt to drag the shy one out of his/her shell, the MORE shy this partner is going to get!

A way to break the pattern, which usually leads to both parties being frustrated with the others characteristics, is to stop playing the game. Instead of trying to pull the shy partner out, the aggressive partner should try to act calm and quiet, and avoid anthing confrontational for a little while.

This will most likely make the shy one curious to see what's going on when everything's so quiet, and so he/she will come out and start talking by own free will.

This situation with you and your girlfriend reminds me of a friend I had in junior high. She would go on and on and on and on about her pets, her relatives, and her relatives' pets (she was slightly retarded, and had trouble talking about anything out of her circle of life), and she just wouldn't shut up, ever! So, I learned that the best way to keep her quiet was to talk myself, endlessly, about anything. She was horrible to listen to, but she was a great listener herself.

I could try that but I can't keep A conversation going for hours on end.Also in my life/career I have to talk to so many people and listen to so much ass kissing garbage that when I'm home I want silence. I rarely even watch television because I need a reprive from talking. I just want to listen to music and draw every now and then. Or enjoy the silence.

 

[oggbashan]

It sounds like your GF is a leech, feeding on and addicted to you.

Some people are like that. They are "friends" but what they really want is your attention to them all the time.

She needs help to stand on her own feet and not lean on you. The help has to come from someone or something else or she will become more of a leech, sucking you dry. Push her towards some external activity that makes her strive to achieve and gives her self esteem.

You could suggest that she writes for Literotica. The views could boost her morale even if the feedback doesn't. Then at least you could talk about something that is of mutual interest.

Og (amateur psychiatrist whose opinions should be verified with someone useful)

 

[gauchecritic]

You knowwhat? If this thread had been started by a bloke I'd bet that more than 75% of replies would hold the implication that it's the blokes fault for not listening.

In view of that, the answer you seek Dest. would be, learn to listen like a bloke does. (Round these parts anyway)

Women (as I see it) are quite capable of listening to and retaining an entire 4 hour conversation (virtually word for word) and retain the essence, if not the whole, for the rest of their lives.

I can listen to a 4 hour conversation but I'm damned if I can remember any relevant parts the next day. If I'm reminded of specific parts this will bring them to mind, otherwise nothing.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd wager it's quite a large number of males who listen to spice (plural of spouse) or g/f's 'nattering' in exactly the same way.

On the whole women accept that a man isn't paying more than 7/8s attention, more often lots less and will hardly remember any of it, particularly if it's a "He said, She said" monologue and that the recipient is a sounding board, nothing more.

Be a bloke.

Gauche

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I think all couples play Hunter/Prey. Only since we're mostly used to heterosexuality, atleast in media, then we associate the Hunter with the Man, and the Prey with the Woman.

This goes back to the times when man was working all day, having to fight verbally to stand the competition int he workplace, and feeling all exhausted when he came home to his housewife, who had been mostly alone at home, cleaning and cooking all day, dying to get someone to talk to.

Today, it doesn't really have to be that the Hunter is male, and the Prey is female, but we still have those roles. Des, you're a hunter. You have a very active life outside your home, and want to relax when you come home. I don't know what your girlfriend does for a living, but it seems to me that she doesn't have enough challenges to satisfy her need for communication, out there, so she tries to talk to you instead.

It's the classic situation of one running away, and the other chasing after the first one. The book I read suggested that the Hunter/Chaser, should stop and try to do something to keep busy, until the Prey/Chased, would get curious to see what happened to the hunt, and come looking for the partner.