My Diary

[IhateClowns]

May 27th 3:15pm

Hi Diary, My name is IHC. It is so nice to meet you.

Today has been a good day minus one small incident. What is the appropriate length of time you should hold the door open for someone? It is rude to not hold a door open for someone, but I think it is equally as rude to hold the door open for someone who is still a half a mile away.

Don't get me wrong it is sweet she did that for me, but I felt the need to run to the door or else I was being rude. I was at least 40 yards a way when she looked at me and decided to hold the door open. This caused me to have to hurry my pace in order to not make her feel like she was waiting on me. I was enjoying my leisurely pace and was forced to speed it up due to her kindness.

So what is the appropriate distance in which you should hold the door open for someone? Like I said it doesn't happen often, but when it does there has to be limits. Should I have just waived her off and continued on my leisurely path? Life is full of decisions each and every minute, hour, and day, but having top make a split decision about a door being held open for you shouldn't have to be one of them.

On another note

I once again spent a two hour time period searching for the perfect porno to masturbate to, only to once again go back to the original one I started with in order to cum. Why do I put myself through that? Why do I put the computer at virus risk in order to find the perfect porno, instead of just jerking off to the first one I pop open?

It shouldn't be a 2 hour marathon every time, before I play that fun game of hide the towel and make sure I clean out my belly button.

 

[IhateClowns]

May 27th 3:36pm

Good Lord I am the king of run on sentences. I suck

 

[IhateClowns]

May 27th 3:37pm

Fuck that! I don't suck. I am awesome and I have a nice penis.

 

[IhateClowns]

May 27th 3:39pm

Hmmmmm maybe I do suck now that I think about it. No, I don't suck. I am a good boy.

 

[IhateClowns]

May 27th 3:41pm

I just tooted.

*giggles*

 

[beachbaby179]

Dear IHC,

Nice to meet you too but I must say your bodily functions are your own business. I have no nose. I can't smell your farts so you don't need to warn me when you do it.

As far as the other stuff goes...I'm not giving you permission to blow off a nice gesture. And speaking of blowing...no matter what you're watching, if it takes two hours something's wrong. Either medically or in your technique. Just sayin'.

With love and concern,

Diary

 

[IhateClowns]

May 27th 3:51pm

Lit is an interesting place. I has evolved over the years that i have been around. I used to come here all the time and wonder how anyone could leave. Once you have immersed yourself in this subculture it is hard to sometimes leave it. Things have changed though. It isn't the uplifting, positive, sexy, crazy place that it used to be. At least not for me that is. I am sure there are plenty of folks that come on here feeling the way I did a few years ago.

It also isn't that the quality of members has gone down either. I am sure there are just as many fun people on here today as there used to be. Maybe it is me who has changed. Maybe I don't come here for the same reasons as I used to. Maybe this novelty of this place has lost its luster for me. I sure wish I could take it back to the ways it used to be.

Where it was more original. there weren't as many followers as there were individuals who didn't conform just to make people happy. There was witty banter across many of the threads as opposed to a lot of ass kissing. The board seems to have taken a turn to a bunch of different groups. Your group over there, my group over here. The amount of stuff I have been told about someone behind their backs is just crazy to me. I keep it to myself. I always have and i always will.

This isn't a bitch session as much as it is a realization that i have changed since I joined this board. What i want and expect out of this board has changed for me. That doesn't make the quality of the individuals less as opposed to just different. There are still amazing people with amazing stories all over this board and I like getting to know them. I just don't come on here with the same amount of passion that I used to. The same amount of excited ness.

Maybe I will again someday. Maybe I won't, but I can say that I have met some amazing people from this board. Both in real life and strictly internet based. Everything changes, I get that. That doesn't make anyone any better or worse, just different.

 

[Wordsworth]

n a serious note, I am frequently annoyed by "polite" people. I have timed my walk to glide behind your vehicle. Why do you feel the need to come to a stop and grin like you did me some huge favor to point a dangerous weapon piloted by an idiot at me as I cross the parking lot?

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear IHC,

Nice to meet you too but I must say your bodily functions are your own business. I have no nose. I can't smell your farts so you don't need to warn me when you do it.

As far as the other stuff goes...I'm not giving you permission to blow off a nice gesture. And speaking of blowing...no matter what you're watching, if it takes two hours something's wrong. Either medically or in your technique. Just sayin'.

With love and concern,

Diary

Dear Diary,

i thought this was a place I could write out my emotions, experiences, causes, and concerns? I was never given a diary when I was younger I am unfamiliar with the rules. I toot had a beautiful melodic tone to it and I thought I would share.

Still learning

 

[IhateClowns]

May 27th 5:16pm

I just went up to a stranger at the grocery store and without warning whipped out my cock and showed it to her. It didn't work out quite as well as it apparently does on here. I ran after she started screaming.

I then went to another grocery store where I found a group of ladies and told each, one by one, I wrote an erotic story about them. I told each one the same exact things as the other. They had the nerve to then talk to one another and share what I told each of them. That's bullshit. I stormed off needless to say.


How do these tactics work so well on the PG but not in real life????

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

May 27th 5:16pm

I just went up to a stranger at the grocery store and without warning whipped out my cock and showed it to her. It didn't work out quite as well as it apparently does on here. I ran after she started screaming.

I then went to another grocery store where I found a group of ladies and told each, one by one, I wrote an erotic story about them. I told each one the same exact things as the other. They had the nerve to then talk to one another and share what I told each of them. That's bullshit. I stormed off needless to say.


How do these tactics work so well on the PG but not in real life????

Well, in real life, before you whip your cock out, you're supposed to preface it by exclaiming "Voila!" or the more introductory "Heeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!"

 

[IhateClowns]

May 27th. 9:52pm

I decided to go old school tonight for dinner since I am home alone. I went to the store and bought Totino's Pizza Rolls and a 6pk of beer. I must be going through an early midlife crisis or something because for some reason I was channeling my freshman year at the dorms daily meal.

After the novelty of the first few going down I realized that the 24 that I used to eat in college was a silly mistake now. I had six comfortably down my pie hole and looked down to see I had 18 left. Add in I was on my second beer and I knew I was in trouble. Did I do the right thing and stop? Fuck no I am no pussy. I soldiered on. Like that Adam guy from Man vs. Food I had to will myself to eat this shite.

After an hour of fried food sweats I swallowed the last one and finished off my third beer. That was an hour ago. Now I have the rumbles and my gas caused the dogs to go outside. I am worried about the flames that will soon be shooting out of me and where my wife left the Gold Bond that I will desperately need.

I should have just stuck with the left over taco soup in the fridge.

Ugh.

 

[IhateClowns]

May 27th 10:53pm

Well after a few crampings and leg straighteners I am feeling much better now. This is why I have you diary. The next time I want to relive the glory days, I can come read you, shake myself, and eat an apple.

 

[IhateClowns]

May 28th 12:48 pm

It is almost time for another Litties award show. Where the best of the best gather, mingle, award, and celebrate the good, bad, and spectacular people of the PG. It is a lot of work to not only prepare for this amazing event, but also defend the popularity of the winners against the whiners of the losers. Is it worth it?

 

[BlueEyedGent]

May 28th 12:48 pm

It is almost time for another Litties award show. Where the best of the best gather, mingle, award, and celebrate the good, bad, and spectacular people of the PG. It is a lot of work to not only prepare for this amazing event, but also defend the popularity of the winners against the whiners of the losers. Is it worth it?

Well, celebrities have an award called The Golden Rasberry Awards...AKA "The Razzies" , which is awarded to the losers in Hollywood film ...there could always be a Lit "backup" award for those who do not place

 

[JennyNo1]

May 28th 12:48 pm

It is almost time for another Litties award show. Where the best of the best gather, mingle, award, and celebrate the good, bad, and spectacular people of the PG. It is a lot of work to not only prepare for this amazing event, but also defend the popularity of the winners against the whiners of the losers. Is it worth it?

Seriously? Has it been a year already? I'd better get started campaigning!

 

[Iceprincess12]

What are the categories, I want to encourage (pay, bribe, force) someone to nominate me for something

 

[JennyNo1]

What are the categories, I want to encourage (pay, bribe, force) someone to nominate me for something

I'm hoping for "Best Use of Boobs and Red Lace in an Avatar", Over 10,000 Posts Category.

 

[Iceprincess12]

I'm hoping for "Best Use of Boobs and Red Lace in an Avatar", Over 10,000 Posts Category.

I am sure that one is on there.

How about "funniest 100 to 1 orgasm countdown, make it to 90 but still no one laughs" category. I am pinning my hopes on that.

 

[IhateClowns]

May 30th. 10:41

I made a connection with a girl. A real girl here on the PG. Her name is Corbal and she seems nice. I will have to admit I am scared of her and it looks like she can kick my ass, but she sure is a sassy critter. I guess only time will tell before she is riding my Bologna Pony. Boy howdy I can't wait.

 

[IhateClowns]

May 31st 4:10

As I drove home I saw my neighbor laying on in the front yard getting some sun. Nevermind that it is cloudy out. Never mind that it is 70 degrees out, but let's mind that he was laying in his stomach in a thong. Not hers, HIS thong. Not the backyard, the FRONT YARD. Not only is it going to take a mind enema to get that erased from my memory, I worry about the neighborhood kids that will need therapy after witnessing his tanning techniques.

Summer is awesome. In most cases.

 

[Corbal]

May 30th. 10:41

I made a connection with a girl. A real girl here on the PG. Her name is Corbal and she seems nice. I will have to admit I am scared of her and it looks like she can kick my ass, but she sure is a sassy critter. I guess only time will tell before she is riding my Bologna Pony. Boy howdy I can't wait.

Riding your Bologna pony.
I vomited in my mouth a little bit.
Bologna is pork lips and assholes.

I thought we had something special, Clowns. Really, I did. You swore you wouldn't tell anyone about us.

I'm setting my sights and you're in my crosshairs. Dickhole.

 

[IhateClowns]

Riding your Bologna pony.
I vomited in my mouth a little bit.
Bologna is pork lips and assholes.

I thought we had something special, Clowns. Really, I did. You swore you wouldn't tell anyone about us.

I'm setting my sights and you're in my crosshairs. Dickhole.

June 1st. 12:10pm
See we why she scares me? She is both sexy and scary? Also she apparently wants it in the pooper. It's been a while since I stuck anything in a pooper besides mine. Now apparently I have to duck and weave anytime I leave the house. At least I will have nice abs trying to dodge her scope.

 

[Corbal]

June 1st. 12:10pm
See we why she scares me? She is both sexy and scary? Also she apparently wants it in the pooper. It's been a while since I stuck anything in a pooper besides mine. Now apparently I have to duck and weave anytime I leave the house. At least I will have nice abs trying to dodge her scope.

Wine enema night at Clowns is the shit.

His abs on the other hand, are squishy as shit. I think. Clowns told me so.

 

[IhateClowns]

Wine enema night at Clowns is the shit.

His abs on the other hand, are squishy as shit. I think. Clowns told me so.

I like my cultivated FUPA. I worked hard on it.