must... write.. sonnet...

[Samandiriel]

... Gat a rhyme for "now"?

because the only thing I can think of is "now"

Give me the line for it first.

 

[Alex De Kok]

And while you're doing that,

bow, bough, cow, scow, chow, ciao, plough, pow, Frau, vow, wow

And 'now'

Alex

 

[Samandiriel]

Endow, frau, kung pow, dog chow,bough,.....?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Endow, frau, kung pow, dog chow,bough,.....?

Endow is it, but I have to change the entire line.
Or, maybe Vow, thanks Alex

 

[Samandiriel]

Endow is it, but I have to change the entire line.
Or, maybe Vow, thanks Alex

Cool....I was also thinking Chairman Mao.

 

[Liar]

Stella, here's the beast cheat tool for rhymers out there:

http://www.rhymezone.com/

If you need any help with the iambs, let me know. That's one thing I have never understood how it can be precieved as difficult. I hear the whole English language in either iambs (da-DA) or anapests (da-da-DA).

 

[Stella_Omega]

Stella, here's the beast cheat tool for rhymers out there:

http://www.rhymezone.com/

If you need any help with the iambs, let me know. That's one thing I have never understood how it can be precieved as difficult. I hear the whole English language in either iambs (da-DA) or anapests (da-da-DA).

I quote;

The Pseudo-Anapest
Moves awkwardly at best;
His feet are long, uneven and retractile.
Who hunts the beast in rhythm
Should take his meter withm
And still may only bag a Ptero-Dactyl.

from The Space Child's Mother Goose by Frederick Winsor

Thanks for the cheat tool, I've bookmarked it!

 

[Samandiriel]

Are you still writing?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Are you still writing?

I pm'd it to you, I'm gonna go make sawdust for a while

 

[Samandiriel]

I pm'd it to you, I'm gonna go make sawdust for a while

Make lots of it, It may come in handy for my soft shoe routine.

 

[gauchecritic]

Endow is it, but I have to change the entire line.
Or, maybe Vow, thanks Alex

If you're going to go with endow and using ol' Shakeyshines then use trow, old time for trust. "You have nought to misbelieve of me I trow."

 

[Rhys]

e
But I would love to read about.. I don't know, a race car, or walking on a city street, or shooting heroin, Rhys if you're reading this or just banging the tits off of someone..
.

You want *me* to write you a sonnet? *where's the jaw dropped emoticon when you need one*

 

[BlackShanglan]

I really must learn this brevity thing everyone raves about. It sounds like such fun.

That said - there's a novella in your mailbox, Stella.

Shanglan

 

[The_Fool]

Sonnets suck, but I can write them. If you don't get enough pairs of eyes, send it my way....*G*

I have written some naughty ones even....*G*

 

[Stella_Omega]

You want *me* to write you a sonnet? *where's the jaw dropped emoticon when you need one*

Aw, dude...
Joey's quarrel with you is his, and I have nothing to do with it, if that's why your jaw is dropped.
I don't like being used as a weapon in anyone's war.

I want to write well, and read till I go blind. You're a hella writer. You'd do it justice.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sonnets suck, but I can write them. If you don't get enough pairs of eyes, send it my way....*G*

I have written some naughty ones even....*G*

POST THE LITTLE BASTARDS!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I really must learn this brevity thing everyone raves about. It sounds like such fun.

That said - there's a novella in your mailbox, Stella.

Shanglan

You weren't kidding!
Aw. horsey, you're the bestest horsey that ever was! (Shirley Temple, I think?)

 

[The_Fool]

POST THE LITTLE BASTARDS!

Couldn't find the one I wanted. This one is a little risque:

My sweet fair lady called out for her Fool,
“My day is melancholy and I crave
your witty sayings, breach this sadness cruel.”
For love of her fair laughter I would slave.

As Fool for her I sang and tales did tell
Of decadence and innocence belied.
For her the bawdy message boded well
The river of her passion he denied.

A tongue of talent was what she desired.
With loosened bodice she reached out to touch
My ego and create impassioned fire,
Which left me wanting her so very much.

The darkened bar helped me hide from her view.
Too shy to talk, my daydreams left me blue.



This one is the blues one I wrote:

Smoke and music circle through the night.
Whiskey freely flows and sets the tone.
I’ve had enough to get me feeling tight
While sitting at my table all alone.

A melancholy measure fills the air.
I listen to that lonesome moaning song.
My thoughts are full of sadness and despair,
It seems that everything has gone all wrong.

That Tenor sax puts out a lonely moan,
It wavers through the room with one long note,
A sound so blue it makes me want to groan.
A lump of sadness clutches at my throat.

Her scent is one that I can never miss.
My blues are gone with her first loving kiss.

 

[The_Fool]

Let me know when you get to Sestinas, then I'll really post some smutty ones. Just don't ask me to write one.....

 

[Stella_Omega]

Let me know when you get to Sestinas, then I'll really post some smutty ones. Just don't ask me to write one.....

Jeeze, one thing at a time!
... I see you keep the verso till the last couplet (don't i sound knowlegable, hee hee!)
MIne tend to start in the third quatrain, it seems.
Not the one I was first writing, but here's one for Samandriel, called;

Band Practice

We met beneath the highschool bleachers where
The benches faded in the chilly mist
Sweat-shirted and fifteen I met her there
And touched her on the arm, and nearly kissed
her lip brushing my lip, so I could taste
The sugar in the Maybelline she'd wear
And breathed, in my first shy and startled haste
The grown-up note of perfume in her hair,
And for a precious second our lives stopped.
Invasion broke our private sphere that day;
The kids who searched the grass for quarters dropped,
The drum major called my section into play.
So I ran, and took with me a sense of loss,
The scent of AquaNet, and candy gloss.

 

[Huckleman2000]

While I am not an English major or anything like that, I have had an interesting bit of acting training that might be of use.

Mainly, the point of the training was that Shakespeare broke iambic pentameter in order to emphasize certain words through meter. Thus, if an actor would just read the lines as written, emphasizing the words in broken meter, the meaning would be conveyed as intended. So, to take lines from "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day.."

Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:

Strictly in iambic pentameter, one would read these as:
Nor SHALL Death BRAG thou WANder'st IN his SHADE,
When IN eTERNal LINES to TIME thou GROW'ST

But, the meter of the first three words, as spoken, would be
NOR shall DEATH
so the whole line would be
NOR shall DEATH BRAG thou WANder'st IN his SHADE

Similarly, the rest of the couplet would be
WHEN in eTERNal LINES to TIME thou GROW'ST

There's no reason to emphasize IN - the meaning of the line is conveyed in the meter "WHEN in eTERNal...", not "when IN eTERNal..."

So, the point is, Shakespeare's genius lay NOT in writing everything in iambic penameter, but in BREAKING the meter to emphasize certain words in the spoken vernacular. Thus, his writing is actor-proof! If only the wretches speak the lines as written.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thank you for those excellent points, Huck.
I've done all, I can no more- tonight, anyway. I'm seeing double and thinking in gallop-rhythm. I'll take a look at everything again in the morning, and maybe restore the "Band Practice" to its original, slightly lumpy but perhaps more passionate wording... maybe.
Good night!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Jeeze, one thing at a time!
... I see you keep the verso till the last couplet (don't i sound knowlegable, hee hee!)
MIne tend to start in the third quatrain, it seems.
Not the one I was first writing, but here's one for Samandriel, called;

Band Practice

We met beneath the highschool bleachers where
The benches faded in the chilly mist
Sweat-shirted and fifteen I met her there
And touched her on the arm, and nearly kissed
her lip brushing my lip, so I could taste
The sugar in the Maybelline she'd wear
And breathed, in my first shy and startled haste
The grown-up note of perfume in her hair,
And for a precious second our lives stopped.
Invasion broke our private sphere that day;
The kids who searched the grass for quarters dropped,
The drum major called my section into play.
So I ran, and took with me a sense of loss,
The scent of AquaNet, and candy gloss.

this is fabulous, I can't believe you wrote it for that bag of bones.

 

[Stella_Omega]

this is fabulous, I can't believe you wrote it for that bag of bones.

I still haven't gotten in her pants, you'll notice

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I still haven't gotten in her pants, you'll notice

She's a dreadful tease....that's because she's frigid.