Muffin giggles and Wal Mart shenanigans

[Starfish]

THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART WHILE YOUR
FRIENDS/FAMILY TAKE THEIR OWN SWEET TIME
(or in KM's possible case... You are still working there, but have lost the concern of keeping your job)

Sorry if everyone's seen this 100 times. This is my first. I giggled a lot.

If you have seen this shit before, than your job here is to refresh me on how to put up a sigline image. (Muffin, it is a non seizure inducing image.. OH what do you care, you've got sigs turned off.)


1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples'
carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official
tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

5. Put some M&M's on lay away.

6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry
and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror
while you pick your nose.

10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
'Mission Impossible.'
:rollseyes: (starfish says: Who hasn't done this before?)

11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the
clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look
using different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse
through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker
assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud. "Hey we're out
of toilet paper in here!



So anyway, I really need to know about how to put up a sig line image, cause it ain't happening on my own.

 

[Pokerman]

Starfish-

You need to post the image to a thread here in literotica. Then reference the url of the posted image in your sig line.

 

[Guest]

 

[Starfish]

Thanks Pokerman, I was going to use my own bandwidth, but hey, whatever.....

Yes, the condom toss is especially good to do to really conservative or prudent looking people.

 

[Starfish]

Okay, wait, I saw near my sig line box that it says image tags are OFF. How do I turn them on. It won't show until I change that, but I looked everywhere before and couldn't figure out how to change that.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

do it like this Starfish... only leave out the space at the end between the " and the >

<img src="url of the pic you want.." >

you can get the url by right clicking on the pic, and going down to properties.. it'll be there then

 

[Renegade]

Funny list. I have a few that I've been meaning to post for awhile now. Just thought I'd point that out for no reason.

 

[Weird Harold]

do it like this Starfish... only leave out the space at the end between the " and the >

<img src="url of the pic you want.." >

you can get the url by right clicking on the pic, and going down to properties.. it'll be there then

Starfish,
<img src="http://www.literotica.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=867168"> will put thepicture you attached above in your signature line.

 

[Starfish]

WaU and Harold, thank you. I used to have that written down, but couldn't remember that it didn't use [ these brackets, but < these.


Ren, why don't you post them then?

 

[Gilly Bean]

Add to the condoms tubes of lubricant, chocolate syrup (if your Wally World has a grocery dept), and whipped cream.

Apple juice works better then orange -is innocent-

And another fun thing is to walk behind an employee, and mimic thier movements.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

the phones that are available for the employees are left wide open and usually unattended... and there's a list of extensions next to each phone


how do i know this? lets just say you can make some pretty weird announcements in wally world and no one would ever know it was you unless you said something *angelic smile*

 

[KillerMuffin]

Get a cucumber, a large tube of KY, some condoms, and some really tacky looking, cheap panties and bra then dump them into the carts of guys who aren't paying attention.

Learn the code to call out over the intercoms. Most evening employees will give it to you. There are phones everywhere. Announce blue light specials. Address the passengers of flight 151. Demand to know who stole your diaphram. Page Doctor Kildare to the Emergency room, stat. Tell management he has a phone call on line one. Be creative and have fun with it. Walmart intercoms are your toys.

If you can, make sure your cashier doesn't deactive the inventory control sticker. Walk in and out of the doors fifty times with the thing.

 

[April]

Damn, I wish I was in the states to do these things.

 

[Angel]

LOL.

I work at Ames. (For those who don't know what the hell Ames is, it's like WalMart and K-Mart... only much shittier. )

Please feel free to apply any and all of these suggestions at any Ames location.

 

[Samuari]

It's an old listbeen arround Wally World for a long time, a few additions to it are to walk up to someone with one of those "Associate in Training" ribbons hanging from thier badges and tell them in a conspirtal tone "We have a Code 87 in Paint." and scurry away.

If you happen to see any of the security tags lieing around, you can stick on underneath your shoping cart. I hate that system, it ju8st harrases the honest folks and does nothing to really stop the shoplifers. A huge waiste of money.