Moving on....

[OrgasmicleBunny]

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do and as painful as it is, my head KNOWS it's the right thing. My heart hurts and it's breaking, but my boyfriend is finally moving on, after all we've been through.

It's been a rough week, but he'll be leaving this Thursday so we have another week to go. I'm so torn, and confused.

I'm still in love with him, I care about him, and I wish it didn't have to be this way, I'm going to miss him terribly.

We do have a bond, on a certain level, but we both want different things right now and we can't come to agreement. We're just not compatible.

It is an amicable break up, it doesn't make it any easier.

We've tried ending it in the past and came back together to try to work it out, but this is it, it really is over.

My life is changing drastically

 

[jeepman6]

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do and as painful as it is, my head KNOWS it's the right thing. My heart hurts and it's breaking, but my boyfriend is finally moving on, after all we've been through.

It's been a rough week, but he'll be leaving this Thursday so we have another week to go. I'm so torn, and confused.

I'm still in love with him, I care about him, and I wish it didn't have to be this way, I'm going to miss him terribly.

We do have a bond, on a certain level, but we both want different things right now and we can't come to agreement. We're just not compatible.

It is an amicable break up, it doesn't make it any easier.

We've tried ending it in the past and came back together to try to work it out, but this is it, it really is over.

My life is changing drastically

And I'm so sorry. I'm going through the same thing. PM me and I will tell you the rest of it all,

 

[WhiteKnight326]

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do and as painful as it is, my head KNOWS it's the right thing. My heart hurts and it's breaking, but my boyfriend is finally moving on, after all we've been through.

It's been a rough week, but he'll be leaving this Thursday so we have another week to go. I'm so torn, and confused.

I'm still in love with him, I care about him, and I wish it didn't have to be this way, I'm going to miss him terribly.

We do have a bond, on a certain level, but we both want different things right now and we can't come to agreement. We're just not compatible.

It is an amicable break up, it doesn't make it any easier.

We've tried ending it in the past and came back together to try to work it out, but this is it, it really is over.

My life is changing drastically

It sounds like you are already becoming a stronger person because of it. It is, yes, one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to do. I think relationships are like living things... and sometimes they die for whatever reason. It must be extremely painful to see it doing so right before your eyes, and I'm sorry for your pain. Just like a loss of a loved one, we need to go through phases of loss and mourning... I swamped myself with school and kept extremely busy for at least 2 weeks straight!

What I can recommend though, is even though this is mutual and amicable, etc... I think if you are truly to move on, you need to cut your contact completely, for a while at least. I went through a similar situation as you, and felt similar things; I still wanted to be in the relationship, but circumstances/ambitions/plans would not permit that. Just see it this way; if you thought he was great, just wait til the right person comes along

Life is funny, and hard sometimes. You'll make it We all do... just live every day, every hour, every minute for what it is, and reach for the sun at the end of the tunnel. You're going to be fine!

 

[Username_In_Use]

All I can say is make it a clean break, at least until BOTH of you move on completely, and keep busy. I've yet to hear of a break up that ended well when both parties kept in contact after breaking up.

 

[OrgasmicleBunny]

It sounds like you are already becoming a stronger person because of it. It is, yes, one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to do. I think relationships are like living things... and sometimes they die for whatever reason. It must be extremely painful to see it doing so right before your eyes, and I'm sorry for your pain. Just like a loss of a loved one, we need to go through phases of loss and mourning... I swamped myself with school and kept extremely busy for at least 2 weeks straight!

What I can recommend though, is even though this is mutual and amicable, etc... I think if you are truly to move on, you need to cut your contact completely, for a while at least. I went through a similar situation as you, and felt similar things; I still wanted to be in the relationship, but circumstances/ambitions/plans would not permit that. Just see it this way; if you thought he was great, just wait til the right person comes along

Life is funny, and hard sometimes. You'll make it We all do... just live every day, every hour, every minute for what it is, and reach for the sun at the end of the tunnel. You're going to be fine!

You know that is so true about a relationship being a living thing. In fact, in one of my breakdowns I told him it was like finding out a relative had cancer and I was watching them die, and I tried a bunch of things to try to fix them and none of them worked, the band-aids weren't big enough! Now, I know the exact day they're going to die, unfortunately, because of cost of flights and such, he's delaying his departure a few more days, but it's ok. On June 25th, this relationship will be dead, and CPR will not work!

We are going to stay in contact, we both want it that way. I think it will be ok.

I have a lot of things going on my life. I'm going to be working A LOT, I have some goals to pay off some debt and I'm going to be having gastric bypass surgery in September and then starting graduate school in January, so I will be plenty busy.

He too will be busy, working on getting a better paying job, getting his finances in order, tying up loose ends, and finishing his bachelors degree which he is basically only 1-2 semesters away from completing.

Anyway, I appreciate the support, from those who have known of my saga and those new as well.

 

[NotNowHunny]

Oh take it from me, I know how hard it is to move on. I was married 23 yrs and been divorced 16 months. We are very good friends now but that took a long time and we share 3 sons so we still interact. It's sad when you come to the conclusion that it's over, especially after spending half your life with someone but we do survive. I still have love for him as he does for me. But, we grew apart and we both knew this was the best choice for us. Give yourself time. I wish you all the best.

 

[WhiteKnight326]

We are going to stay in contact, we both want it that way. I think it will be ok.

This is still the only thing I disagree with... I mean that may very well be me personally, that I would never be able to go from lovers/intimate/close relationship to "just friends"... I would always be hurt wanting what we once had or just wanting more, and all in all it would make me less true and happy of a person.

I suppose there could be people out there who can do it Though it sounds like this was a very serious relationship, and that you are very hurt that it's ending at all... which is the only reason I'm following up and STRONGLY urging you not to stay in touch...

I promise you that even if he's just "there" for advice, talks, "friend" stuff, I really don't think you'll be able to get over him while he's still a part of your life at all. The relationship is dying; and in a way (sorry this sounds morbid!) you need to let him die too (not literally! just his memory/the feelings you have towards him) which is the hard part! That can never happen when he's still part of your life...

Like I said a very similar situation happened to me long long ago, and we cut contact completely. I think it was 4-5 months before we even said anything to eachother, and over email at that. It takes time to truly get over something so powerful and close to you (and that IS the title of your post ) so I really really really encourage you to let it rest in peace, don't kill yourself trying to hide that you want things to be different! You'll eventually need to accept that it's out of your control and let it die. Remember the good times, learn from the bad times, and move on with your life. Easier said than done

You'll make it! And I'm glad to hear you'll be busy! Just hand in there, and you'll be fine!