Mother's

[destinie21]

Do all mother's have some sort of radar or just mine?
I was having an exceedingly "ungood" day, and out of the blue she calls me up and says she was thinking about me and just decided to call. Being the stubborn girl that I am I would never call her over a bad day even if I felt I needed her. She always seems to know though.

Seems childish of me to still be so attached to her but oh well
I am still her child.

 

[kellycummings]

Mine seems to call me when I'm having a good day and thus ruins it for me. LOL

 

[Colleen Thomas]

My mom seems to time her calls to catch me when I at my lowest and in desperate need of someone to talk to. Mom's are neato that way

-Colly

 

[Boxlicker101]

Mothers do have some kind of built in radar but usually this declines as the ofspring get older. There is a reason for this; children can get into mischief and and their mothers, usually, but sometimes fathers also, will be called to extricate them from whatever problems have arisen and to kiss boo-boos. 20 or 30 year old offspring, or older, should be able to take care of themselves.

 

[Guest]

My Mum calls me on average four times a day, and she only lives three miles away.

She phoned me up this afternoon to tell me she'd moved a pot plant from one room to another. Seriously, she did!

It's not as if she's on her own, my Dad and her are still married after 35 years, and they work together (run a gardening business). She's still young - in her early fifties - and she socialises a lot. And, I'm not an only child, I have two brothers. However, they rarely touch base with her, and both have moved about 100 miles away, in oppostie directions.

But, I am her daughter, and I love her dearly, and she does know I'll always make time to talk with her when she just fancies a chat.

She does call at the most inopportune moments, though.

Lou

 

[Liar]

Seems childish of me to still be so attached to her but oh well
I am still her child.

Hey, what can I say? It's a mom. That's what they do.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"When all hope is gone - call Mum."

 

[Guest]

She phoned me up this afternoon to tell me she'd moved a pot plant from one room to another.

I love that, Loulou. Be sure and let me know when she does this again.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

I love that, Loulou. Be sure and let me know when she does this again.

Perdita

Ok, I'll be sure to let you know.

Loulou

 

[CharleyH]

Remember these beautiful things my friends, they are more important than you can know, as, LOL, are all those irritating idiosyncracies.

Cheers


CH

 

[shereads]

Remember these beautiful things my friends, they are more important than you can know, as, LOL, are all those irritating idiosyncracies.

I'm memorizing those things every time I see her, CharleyH. If my dad's death taught me anything, it's to try and treat whatever time we have as the last, best time. She's tiny and fragile and held together with sutures and duct tape, has her second artificial heart valve and is on her third pacemaker. Weighs 83 pounds. Is beautiful. Is the only truly innocent adult I have ever known, because she still has the capacity to be shocked by cruelty in the world.

She has been close to death half a dozen times; had her chest wrenched open for surgeries that left her looking as if she'd been hit by a truck; has grieved for a husband, spoiled a grandchild, has clung to life with a tenacity that must have infuraiated her cardiologist when he told her five years ago that congestive heart failure had made her an invalid and she would "have to get used to never feeling better." A year later she was driving again; three years later she had her first boyfriend in more than half a century.

She recovered from a long and miserable hospital stay last summer, and has been feeling better than ever, and it's been easy to take her for granted. Canceling visits when they became inconvenient. Calling less often because she can't have a phone conversation that lasts less than an hour.



Now she has had a mild stroke. No details, only that she got up during the night and woke up two hours later on the floor. No symptoms of anything other than an inability to sound out the name on her nurse's name badge, or to remember the words for "apple sauce" and "potatoes" when she was telling me what she had for lunch today. It frustrated her so that she was laughing about it one moment and crying the next.

Hug them, keep them close. Memorize them. I'll see her again next week. Like every time in these recent years, I'll try to make it the best time, and I'll hope it won't be the last, but at some point I'll lose patience and snap at her, regret it, hug and make up, and try not to let that be one of my memories of her.

Say a prayer if you do that sort of thing for a tiny Southern belle with big hair.

 

[minsue]

My Mum calls me on average four times a day, and she only lives three miles away.

She phoned me up this afternoon to tell me she'd moved a pot plant from one room to another. Seriously, she did!

It's not as if she's on her own, my Dad and her are still married after 35 years, and they work together (run a gardening business). She's still young - in her early fifties - and she socialises a lot. And, I'm not an only child, I have two brothers. However, they rarely touch base with her, and both have moved about 100 miles away, in oppostie directions.

But, I am her daughter, and I love her dearly, and she does know I'll always make time to talk with her when she just fancies a chat.

She does call at the most inopportune moments, though.

Lou

ROFL! Are you my sister, Lou?? I swear you just described my mother to a T!

- Mindy, who's mother only lives 1 mile away. Luckily it's hot here. She's only walked to my house for no reason once so far.

 

[minsue]

Say a prayer if you do that sort of thing for a tiny Southern belle with big hair.

I don't do that sort of thing, but I most certainly will for your sweet Southern belle.

- Mindy

 

[shereads]

I don't do that sort of thing, but I most certainly will for your sweet Southern belle.

- Mindy

Thank you, sweet Min.

 

[CharleyH]

I'm memorizing those things every time I see her, CharleyH. If my dad's death taught me anything, it's to try and treat whatever time we have as the last, best time.

There is no LAST best time . . . evertime is best no matter what it means, look and see is my perspective, and the code I live bye. If you want to talk more about my experience with my Mom's death, or others who have died infront of my heart, my soul, my eyes - I would be happy too - it is a more beautiful thing for the living.

Edit - only because the living are selfish - one must think of the diing . . .you lose one person - they lose EVERYONE . . .

 

[Dirt Man]

A mother is a mother all of your life. Mine, unfortunately now lives in a home that specializes in alzhiemers patients. I've already inherited her diabetes, and my father's bad heart, so I figure it won't be long, and I'll be joining her if my luck runs the way it has. That is if I live to be 80.


As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[shereads]

Edit - only because the living are selfish - one must think of the diing . . .you lose one person - they lose EVERYONE . . .

I hope not. I like to think that they regain everyone. That they wake up with a larger perspective and gain the wisdom to forgive themselvs and everyone else.

I watched my father die, and oddly, I'm glad to have been there. The moments leading up to his death and the time after were horrible, for the living. But the moment he let go, he had a look of such radiance and sweetness and relief on his face that I knew something remarkable was happening to him. I'm agnostic, so it has nothing to do with my having seen what I thought I would see. Neither would my dad have fit the mold of what his church taught was a "saved" Christian. I'm comforted by having seen someone as imperfect as I am, greeting the end of life with a look of pure peace on his face. The first moment of peace for him in a number of years.

Yes, I'd love to hear your story.

 

[shereads]

A mother is a mother all of your life. Mine, unfortunately now lives in a home that specializes in alzhiemers patients. I've already inherited her diabetes, and my father's bad heart, so I figure it won't be long, and I'll be joining her if my luck runs the way it has. That is if I live to be 80.

That has to be the hardest thing, Dirt Man. I know people who have lost a parent or spouse to Alzheimer's and all of them have said it was a crueler loss than death. To see your loved one looking at you with unrecognizing eyes. I'm so sorry.
There are treatments for Alzheimer's in the experimental stage that show a lot of promise. Meanwhile, there need to be more homes that specialize, like the one where your mother is. One friend in North Carolina tried for two years to find a place where her mother could be properly cared for; traditionaly nursing homes couldn't deliver the full-time supervision that someone needs when she's physically capable but not fully aware of her surroundings. She finally located a private facility where her mother was looked after full-time.

For you and your mother:

 

[Boxlicker101]

A mother is a mother all of your life. Mine, unfortunately now lives in a home that specializes in alzhiemers patients. I've already inherited her diabetes, and my father's bad heart, so I figure it won't be long, and I'll be joining her if my luck runs the way it has. That is if I live to be 80.


As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

One of the grudges I have agsainst the Christian fundamentalists is their unyielding opposition to stem cell research. Alzhiemers disease is one of those that could be aided with this research but the Right uses their political clout to prevent it from happening. Apparently they consider either the remnants from even a natural miscarriage or embryos that have been grown in a test tube to be sacred life, and not to be used to help the already living.

 

[SlickTony]

I am sorry your mother has Alzheimer's, Dirt Man. My grandmother died of it. It was as hard on the rest of the family as it was on her--possibly more.

I can't help feeling cynical about the motives of some of the Christian Right that wants to outlaw all stem cell research--especially those who are in a position to see that the policies are laid down. If it was someone in their family who was suffering from Huntington's, etc., and a cure (possibly developed by stem cell research) came up in Europe or somewhere, I have no doubt that they would be over there in a shot.

Just as people I know who have worked as escorts for women trying to get into abortion clinics through a barricade of protesters have seen some of the very same protesters later walk into the clinic...as customers.

 

[CharleyH]

I hope not. I like to think that they regain everyone. That they wake up with a larger perspective and gain the wisdom to forgive themselvs and everyone else.

I watched my father die, and oddly, I'm glad to have been there. The moments leading up to his death and the time after were horrible, for the living. But the moment he let go, he had a look of such radiance and sweetness and relief on his face that I knew something remarkable was happening to him. I'm agnostic, so it has nothing to do with my having seen what I thought I would see. Neither would my dad have fit the mold of what his church taught was a "saved" Christian. I'm comforted by having seen someone as imperfect as I am, greeting the end of life with a look of pure peace on his face. The first moment of peace for him in a number of years.

Yes, I'd love to hear your story.

Yes, you understand

 

[CharleyH]

A mother is a mother all of your life. Mine, unfortunately now lives in a home that specializes in alzhiemers patients. I've already inherited her diabetes, and my father's bad heart, so I figure it won't be long, and I'll be joining her if my luck runs the way it has. That is if I live to be 80.


As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

I don't know DM, you've got a higher score than me on the Rose chain . . . and a fiesty little fucker to boot! I'm thinking your holding out much better than most. I never thought I'd see 42 - LOL - well, I still haven't!

 

[Wildcard Ky]

I have the perfect situation with my mom. She means well, but she can be quite annoying. So I've moved about 40 miles away. I can see her anytime I want, but she's also far enough away that I don't have to worry about her dropping by unexpectedly.

 

[shereads]

I have the perfect situation with my mom. She means well, but she can be quite annoying. So I've moved about 40 miles away. I can see her anytime I want, but she's also far enough away that I don't have to worry about her dropping by unexpectedly.

I know the feeling. Unfortunately, "far enough" becomes uncomfortably far when they are old enough to need us they way we needed them as kids. My mom would be miserable living in the city (and I'd be miserable having her live with me) but there is no easy answer when she's sick and has run out of family members who live in her hometown.



Our ancestors didn't live long enough to face the fact of their parents needing parents. My poor mom. Her 80-something boyfriend, who is deaf, is the closest thing to a caregiver she has nearby now.

So Tuesday I'm off to the wilds of the Florida panhandle. Arrggkkk. Juggling job responsibilities/aka mortgage & independence, versus my love of my mother and her need to be taken care of while she recovers from a stroke.

What to do.

 

[SlickTony]

My mother and I get along beautifully as long as we don't pass much more than 10 days under the same roof.