Most painful self inflicted

[HordHolm]

Emotional? Yeah, I've been dumped too. I met a guy recently I hadn't seen for years. He said he was seeing someone and said "do you know xxxxxx on Fetlife?" Yes, yes I do. I wish them well, really, but clearly despite 20 years it still hurts.

I feel your pain. It's been 20 years since my first marriage imploded and I haven't seen my ex-wife since then, but I really don't know how I'd react now. Part of me is curious, part of me is still angry (I wasn't the only one to blame by any means), and part of me is still upset at the wasted years it caused. But part of me still remembers the good times, too...

 

[MrPixel]

Not to trivialize the anguish of emotional pain, but I have to wonder about the self-inflicted part. We all have regrets to one degree or another of allowing ourselves to get sucked into a relationship that ended badly, but that's the way relationships work. The end of my first marriage was quite painful, of course, but very little of that was my fault beyond not seeing the forest for the trees as things were deteriorating.

Now I can fully understand something like a bad decision in-the-moment where you, say, take advantage of an opportunity for a one-night-stand and your long-term significant other finds out and shows you the door on account of it. That would certainly qualify as self-inflicted. But situations where somebody else does the nasty to you, that's on them.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I feel your pain. It's been 20 years since my first marriage imploded and I haven't seen my ex-wife since then, but I really don't know how I'd react now. Part of me is curious, part of me is still angry (I wasn't the only one to blame by any means), and part of me is still upset at the wasted years it caused. But part of me still remembers the good times, too...

I bump into her every now and then. A few years ago she expressed interest again. Given that she couldn't handle polyamory then (at least not with me) and I'm no more single now, I declined. Also because I just couldn't let myself get hurt again.

Thing is, she's lovely. And beautiful, then and now. Think Jeri Ryan (like anyone woman-inclined needs an excuse!) But if we gave into temptation to try a meaningless fling, at least one of us would get hurt.

Sigh. And kinda self-inflicted, because I always suspected it would end.

 

[DeLaFaye]

Physical:
Ugly sweater contest. I'm making an octopus with a Santa hat, he's gonna go in a functional snow globe on the sweater so when you jump up and down the 'snow' moves. (This was a dumb idea, if I'm jumping up and down in a sweater, no one's looking at the damn octopus snow globe, but I digress.) There's garland and jingle bells galore. It's horrendous. I'm building up the snow globe via layers of hot glue. Bought a fancy new hot glue gun that gets absurdly hot for use in other crafts, foam, puppets, etc. Forgot about that, just doing layer after layer and getting impatient. My 'wall' for the snow globe starts to teeter due to not letting it cool. Me, being the genius that I am, PUSHES IT BACK UPRIGHT. The hot glue on the highest levels sticks to my hand. It's burning through/adhering to my flesh, I can't get it off. End up using the damn sweater because of course I'm freaking out. Had a couple of nasty blisters, couldn't write or knit or anything with my hands for over a week. Very grateful there's no scarring.

Also, whenever I manage to do any archery shoot in the summer I always forget to bend my arm enough to not get twanged by the bowstring. My forearm always gets some lovely purple and green bruises. I only do that once or twice a summer though. But I do do it every summer.

Emotional: Mom was battling breast cancer, going on like her 4th or 5th bout. About to go into surgery for something astonishingly unrelated. (Thanks, Universe) Me and the sibs took turns giving her hugs before she was going to go back. My dad missed seeing me give her a hug and so he tells me to do so. I say I already did. I was young at the time and knew she was just going to go into surgery for a few hours and be right back out. I just wanted it over with. I was always with her at all her appointments because I'd recently gotten my license and she couldn't drive anymore. Just wanted all of us to get out of the damned hospital already. What a stupid thing, to not hug your mom again. You can guess the rest. I'd say that was self-inflicted, living with that guilt, missing out on another hug.

 

[HordHolm]

Also, whenever I manage to do any archery shoot in the summer I always forget to bend my arm enough to not get twanged by the bowstring. My forearm always gets some lovely purple and green bruises. I only do that once or twice a summer though. But I do do it every summer.

Can't you get a shooting top with a double thickness over your inside arm, or add a thin leather patch over the spot? That's what we always used to do in our re-enactment group and there's preciously little to say it wasn't authentic for 10th century Scandinavia. Even if you're doing sport shooting perhaps you could just add a stretch bandage to your arm before shooting.

 

[DeLaFaye]

I was home on leave and running late to get back to the airport.
One of my best friends dropped by and said he needed to talk.
I was packing and confirming my flight.
I told him that I couldn't talk at the moment and to call me tomorrow.
I barely got to the airport in time.
A few days later, another buddy of mine from home, called and told me that he'd hung himself.
For a long long time I blamed myself.
If only I had taken 5 minutes to talk to him, maybe I could've done something.
Therapy and talking to his family got me to understand that there was nothing I could've done.
I still think about it from time to time though.

I'm not trying to step on any toes, but he was probably there to say good bye. He likely wouldn't have said much to give away anything that would have hinted at what he intended on doing. I can't imagine the pain this must have caused you, but I'm glad you understand there was nothing you could've done.

If thinking about it still pains you, as I imagine it does, I'd suggest that when you do, think of something happy about your friend. Experience the memory of his loss, but overshadow it with a memory of his life. Just an idea. Either which way, I hope you all have or will find some peace around this. Life can be really hard sometimes.

 

[DeLaFaye]

Can't you get a shooting top with a double thickness over your inside arm, or add a thin leather patch over the spot? That's what we always used to do in our re-enactment group and there's preciously little to say it wasn't authentic for 10th century Scandinavia. Even if you're doing sport shooting perhaps you could just add a stretch bandage to your arm before shooting.

Oh yea, there are arm guards. But they bother my arm all day vs a fair bit of pain for a few minutes. I don't dislike a bit of physical pain.

 

[elizaloo]

Self-infliced:

I let two (drunk) friends convince me to drive after a winter party -I wasn't drunk per THEIR level, but one beer knocks me on my ass, and I took a corner too fast on black ice. Wiped out my boyfriend's truck into a tree and broke my two front teeth on the steering wheel. This took place about 1982 and his truck had only lap belts.

It's true about drunks, they weren't buckled in and fell on the floor laughing their asses off at the whole event. We ended up walking to a friends house and my bf and his dad came to get the truck, without knowing we were drunk at the time. I did confess later, after I married him.

A dental surgeon rebuilt them, but they're still crooked and I never felt like getting them straightened - it's sort of my 'badge of stupidity'.

Emotional:

I fell in love with my (much younger) fling. Divorcing my ex, a highly emotional time in my life and he was a perfect fit for me - in another time and place. To be fair, he said it first and I allowed the fall, but it was a major catastrophe. The inevitable breakup was devastatingly ugly.

Something I have learned from that - never Google. He killed himself 3ish? years ago and when I read that it took me right back to the pain of loving someone who was unavailable. Won't happen again.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Mine seems so lame compared to some of these.
I lost my temper and punched a wall. Broke my hand.
And apparently, stupidity is genetic. I told both of my sons what I did and how stupid it was. My oldest did the same thing before he was 15.

 

[HordHolm]

Mine seems so lame compared to some of these.
I lost my temper and punched a wall. Broke my hand.
And apparently, stupidity is genetic. I told both of my sons what I did and how stupid it was. My oldest did the same thing before he was 15.

"Experience must be bought, it can't be borrowed."

Lord John Russell

 

[onehitwanda]

"Experience must be bought, it can't be borrowed."

Lord John Russell

The Tree of self-improvement must be frequently renewed with the blood of unintended consequences. (with apologies to Thomas Jefferson)

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Going to my friend's friend's house to fix his PC. I could have easily said I haven't got the time, but I wanted to be nice and helpful. He failed to mention his son had just recovered from chickenpox. So, several days later when my holidays ended I was back at uni, staying in my small flat and then the symptoms appeared... Oh boy. Getting chickenpox at 23, blisters, high fever and being solo on top of that. Fucking nightmare. I am still wondering if that idiocy gave me sterility

 

[Seadog777]

I'm not trying to step on any toes, but he was probably there to say good bye. He likely wouldn't have said much to give away anything that would have hinted at what he intended on doing. I can't imagine the pain this must have caused you, but I'm glad you understand there was nothing you could've done.

If thinking about it still pains you, as I imagine it does, I'd suggest that when you do, think of something happy about your friend. Experience the memory of his loss, but overshadow it with a memory of his life. Just an idea. Either which way, I hope you all have or will find some peace around this. Life can be really hard sometimes.

I've come to terms with the situation.
I don't dwell on it and really think about it all that often.
My therapist is a wonderful woman who has helped me through this and many many other issues.

 

[MrPixel]

... I am still wondering if that idiocy gave me sterility

You're thinking of mumps. That's definitely an issue there.

 

[EmilyMiller]

What is your most painful self inflicted pain, either physical or emotional?

This neither happened to me nor is perhaps up there with some of the other pain levels on this thread.

Many years ago, my boyfriend’s father was found semi-unconscious at his golf club. What had happened apparently is - and sorry if I have bits wrong, I have never played golf in my life - that he was trying out a new club in this netted cage thing (like for baseball I guess). I suppose it was damaged or something because he had managed to have the ball go through the netting (or maybe the netting was touching the superstructure and shouldn’t have been, I don’t know). Anyway it hit a metal pole that the net was hung on and rebounded to hit his forehead.

So maybe four feet to hit the pole and four feet to hit his head. He said the club was meant to hit the ball a lot further than eight feet.

Apparently it was quite a glancing blow, the EMTs who attended said it could have been worse. He was taken to the ER and had a CT scan. My boyfriend said he looked like something from a cartoon. He had a hemispherical bump pretty much the size and shape of half a gold ball just above the hairline.

No lasting effects thankfully.

Em

 

[AwkwardlySet]

You're thinking of mumps. That's definitely an issue there.

No, I meant chickenpox. While chickenpox can't cause sterility by itself, the high fever caused by the chickenpox can. At least that's what the doctor once told me

 

[Rob_Royale]

The worst two I've ever heard. Happily, these did not happen to me.
1. Man using his canister shop vacuum as a suction system for a spray paint booth. Pulling flammable gases through it and out an exhaust hose. It worked just fine for several years until one day it didn't. The explosion flung him across the garage like a ragdoll. He awoke in the hospital with a broken femur, hip, and a ruptured testicle.
2. Two guys performing maintenance on a small car. One put a socket wrench on the tensioner so that the serpentine belt could be replaced. Needing more leverage he added a cheater pipe to the wrench. Replaced the belt. One started the car after forgetting to remove the wrench. It fired the cheater pipe through the other man's calf.

 

[Alitaptap]

Skating backwards in the living room while watching TV - the idiocy of youth - then subsequently breaking my arm.

The doctor said it was a clean break so he re-set it manually - oh hell yeah - and just to add, he missed the first time he tried. He did use anesthesia, injecting directly into the bone if I remember correctly, and Lordy, that’s some indescribable swirling pain.

Funny thing is, I distinctly remember laughing. Like something hurts so bad, you end up laughing hysterically at how absurdly painful the situation is. So yeah, me at the doctor’s office, getting my bone reset, while laughing like an idiot.

As for emotional, it was opening my heart to someone I knew was a viper. Fool me once, fool me twice…

Comparing the two, the second one hurt more by a lifetime.

 

[Comshaw]

Self-inflicted? 1977, I came home from work at lunch to help my wife get her grandfather in the car so she could take him to a doctor's appointment. I decide to ride her bike ( a CL450 Honda) back to work. It hadn't been ridden in a year and was cutting out. I thought it might be a loose spark plug wire so I was fiddling with the wire as I leaned into a corner. I had looked down as I was fiddling with the wire and when I looked back up I was on the wrong side of the center line and there was an oncoming car right in front of me. I didn't have time to dodge or move out of its way. I did have time to think, "Oh Shit!"

I hit the left front fender dead on. The impact threw me over the handlebars and over the car. I landed on my back and slide down the road 100' or so. When I stopped sliding I tried to stand up only to fall down again when my left leg wouldn't hold me. I pulled up my pants leg to see a spot about the size of a baseball torn into my shin. An It didn't hurt right then. But it took the ambulance 45 minutes to show up. By the time they did my leg felt like it was being chewed off by rats. Luckily it didn't break my leg. It did break two toes and tore that chuck out of my leg. After 4 days in the hospital and 6 weeks in a cast I was back on my feet.

Not the last or even the most painful thing that has happened to me, but it was the most painful self-inflicted one.

Comshaw

 

[ElectricBlue]

My God, you guys! I've made it into my seventh decade with only two stitches (vasectomy), no broken bones, no time in hospital (except to visit, I was born at home). You need to be more fucking careful!

Emotional - opened the door on a girl in bed with someone else, when I was eighteen and a half. That sucked, but I had redemption nine years later when we got together for a couple of nights. Memory and Loss, Part 4

 

[BobbyBrandt]

What is your most painful self inflicted pain, either physical or emotional?

Twenty years ago i cut off one of my fingers.

But today i topped that off.

By my own carelessness, I gave my self palytoxin poison in my eye, so for the next 2-3 days i will be writhing around in excruciating pain calling myself a fucking idiot.

Share your story so i dont feel like such a moron

It's somewhat presumptuous to assume that I have peaked. Get back t me in a few years.

 

[Alitaptap]

My God, you guys! I've made it into my seventh decade with only two stitches (vasectomy), no broken bones, no time in hospital (except to visit, I was born at home). You need to be more fucking careful!

Haha! True. Then again, YOLO, dude! Seriously though, looking back at all the shit I’ve put myself through, I feel lucky to be alive - thinking, how the hell did I get away with all that relatively unscathed?!

And all that shit lives rent free in my head, eliciting a chuckle now and then out of nowhere. No regrets