More Intimate?

[bg23]

There are some things that you do with some people that you don't do with others, some things you might do with one person but not other things because it just doesn't feel...right.

I know for a lot of girls BJs are easier than sex if you're not ready to bang the guy yet but for me BJs are something I'll only do for somebody I really care about. That's weird, right? He can fuck me but I won't blow him unless I REALLY like him.

I won't hold your hand less I really like you, either.

For me, intimacy kinda goes in order of

Kiss -> Sex -> Hold hands -> BJ

What's your intimacy scale? What's more intimate to you?

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

I know for a lot of girls BJs are easier than sex if you're not ready to bang the guy yet but for me BJs are something I'll only do for somebody I really care about. That's weird, right? He can fuck me but I won't blow him unless I REALLY like him.

that's how i am when it comes to me eating womens out

 

[neci]

i've given very intimate blows and not so intimate blows. the chemical reaction depends on what you've been eating, breathing, reading and absorbing through all the little receptors in and around us.

 

[KRCummings]

I'm in the camp that thinks bj's are less than sex so it has often been the alternative with guys I don't want in me at the time or ever.
Ok, maybe "often" isn't the right word here. It has happened but not too frequently.
As for other types of intimacy, I dunno. I don't go to the bathroom in front of a guy and don't intentionally fart in front of one either although we've all had them slip out now and then.
That is if I went to the bathroom and farted. Which I don't.
I put kissing after holding hands but before sex and not necessary or even wanted for most bj's.
Also certain sex acts I won't do with a man unless I've been with him a while. Facials, rim jobs, anal, stuff like that. Only the top tier guys get that.

 

[bg23]

i've given very intimate blows and not so intimate blows. the chemical reaction depends on what you've been eating, breathing, reading and absorbing through all the little receptors in and around us.

Do you mean the chemical reaction they make with the jizz, or the chemical reaction we have when we come into contact with their junk?

 

[Recidiva]

Huh. I guess I'm all in or all out. I'd probably progress through a hold hands>kiss>sex/bj cycle. They seem to have a gradation of intimacy as far as progression goes. But I bet if someone just jumped to any of the five and I was in for one of them, any of them could happen in any order in a relationship. I tend to make up my mind really fast and go all in so to speak.

 

[RobDownSouth]

That happened to me once, I'd been going out with a girl, we'd had sex twice, and I asked her to go down on me. She demurred, and went into this long explanation about how she "hardly knew me".

Today, of course, everyone would have you believe that a BJ is as common as a goodnight kiss.

What I have noticed on more than a few occasions is women who have no hesitation going down on a guy, but don't want the favor returned....the first time that happened I thought she was joking, I couldn't grasp a woman NOT wanting to be pleasured. I've since cum to the conclusion that for a certain sort of woman, allowing a man to pleasure her down there is the ultimate expression of trust.

 

[bg23]

I'm in the camp that thinks bj's are less than sex so it has often been the alternative with guys I don't want in me at the time or ever.
Ok, maybe "often" isn't the right word here. It has happened but not too frequently.
As for other types of intimacy, I dunno. I don't go to the bathroom in front of a guy and don't intentionally fart in front of one either although we've all had them slip out now and then.
That is if I went to the bathroom and farted. Which I don't.
I put kissing after holding hands but before sex and not necessary or even wanted for most bj's.
Also certain sex acts I won't do with a man unless I've been with him a while. Facials, rim jobs, anal, stuff like that. Only the top tier guys get that.

I used to pee in front of an ex bf. One time after sex I had to go pee, and he came in to use the sink. I was trying to uh...get the jizz out of my cooter and it was...noisy. That was awkward. So now I don't pee in front of guys any more.

See, that's interesting to me, that yours is bj -> holding hands -> kissing -> sex. I wonder what makes us regard certain things as more intimate than others.

Agreed with the kinky stuff. Man's gotta EARN the good shit.

 

[bronzeage]

Intimate is when she says, "I've been very bad and I need your help to be good."

 

[bg23]

That happened to me once, I'd been going out with a girl, we'd had sex twice, and I asked her to go down on me. She demurred, and went into this long explanation about how she "hardly knew me".

Today, of course, everyone would have you believe that a BJ is as common as a goodnight kiss.

What I have noticed on more than a few occasions is women who have no hesitation going down on a guy, but don't want the favor returned....the first time that happened I thought she was joking, I couldn't grasp a woman NOT wanting to be pleasured. I've since cum to the conclusion that for a certain sort of woman, allowing a man to pleasure her down there is the ultimate expression of trust.

This is TOTALLY me. I might even like a guy enough to blow him but it takes a lot for me to let him put his mouth on me there. I think it's because I've been known to get a bit squirty and I'm still incredibly shy about it. So for me to let him go there is for me to say "I really like you, and trust that you won't laugh at me or tease me or think less of me for the way I am."

 

[Farrah]

Huh. I never thought about this before. Using '<' as greater than/less than in terms of what I find the most intimate, I think it goes something like this for me...

holding hands<sex<kissing<blowjob

Weird that I apparently view sex as less intimate than a kiss. And yeah, a blowjob is the greatest of 'em all. If I don't love you, it's not going in my mouth. And I do think that hand holding is very intimate, but I hold hands with friends and even family sometimes, so for me, it's a different kind of intimacy and doesn't have a lot to do with sex.

 

[Farrah]

This is TOTALLY me. I might even like a guy enough to blow him but it takes a lot for me to let him put his mouth on me there. I think it's because I've been known to get a bit squirty and I'm still incredibly shy about it. So for me to let him go there is for me to say "I really like you, and trust that you won't laugh at me or tease me or think less of me for the way I am."

I have some scarring down there from something that doesn't need to be mentioned, so I don't even need five fingers to count the number of men I've let go down on me. And I was already in a long term relationship with each of the four men I loved and trusted enough to allow that.

Actually, that's not true. I once felt that kind of trust in someone on the first date. We've been together just over a year now.

 

[Dionysian Beast]

I don't think that is all that weird or uncommon. I knew a girl who would fuck me but never laid lips on my cock.

 

[lynn-23]

That happened to me once, I'd been going out with a girl, we'd had sex twice, and I asked her to go down on me. She demurred, and went into this long explanation about how she "hardly knew me".

Today, of course, everyone would have you believe that a BJ is as common as a goodnight kiss.

What I have noticed on more than a few occasions is women who have no hesitation going down on a guy, but don't want the favor returned....the first time that happened I thought she was joking, I couldn't grasp a woman NOT wanting to be pleasured. I've since cum to the conclusion that for a certain sort of woman, allowing a man to pleasure her down there is the ultimate expression of trust.

Yes. While I also think that a bj CAN be a very intimate thing, allowing a man to go down on me is a VERY VERY VERY intimate thing. Its hard to explain.

 

[Laurel]

I'd let a guy analize me before I'd share my soda with him. Or my french fries.

 

[bg23]

Huh. I guess I'm all in or all out. I'd probably progress through a hold hands>kiss>sex/bj cycle. They seem to have a gradation of intimacy as far as progression goes. But I bet if someone just jumped to any of the five and I was in for one of them, any of them could happen in any order in a relationship. I tend to make up my mind really fast and go all in so to speak.

Yes I suppose if you like someone enough it's not hard to know you'll go all in with them. For me, I'm sometimes a bad judge of how much I like someone - I sometimes don't know until I've kissed somebody that I've got NO attraction to them, and sometimes I'll kiss somebody I don't think I like that much and then find myself melting.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Agreed with the kinky stuff. Man's gotta EARN the good shit.

Right out of college, there was a 30-something female supervisor in my company who bragged about making her husband "earn points" for sex....she actually had numeric points she awarded the guy for things he did around the house.

She was really into cycling too and one morning she came to work all excited because her husband had done some sort of major project she'd wanted in their garage and now she had some sort of custom storage/repair area she had always wanted. She was all smiles and happy, then got this strange look on her face and said in a very low voice "I guess I'm takin' it up the ass on Friday..."

 

[bg23]

Huh. I never thought about this before. Using '<' as greater than/less than in terms of what I find the most intimate, I think it goes something like this for me...

holding hands<sex<kissing<blowjob

Weird that I apparently view sex as less intimate than a kiss. And yeah, a blowjob is the greatest of 'em all. If I don't love you, it's not going in my mouth. And I do think that hand holding is very intimate, but I hold hands with friends and even family sometimes, so for me, it's a different kind of intimacy and doesn't have a lot to do with sex.

Hey, it was good enough for Pretty Woman! It's not necessarily weird, I for example view hand holding as more intimate than sex. But I don't hold hands with anyone except lovers, so that'd be why.

I think with mouths, you're so close, you're breathing in each other, tasting each other, eye to eye. In that way, it can be a lot more intimate than merely mashing your genitals together.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Yes. While I also think that a bj CAN be a very intimate thing, allowing a man to go down on me is a VERY VERY VERY intimate thing. Its hard to explain.

Not at all.....my frame of reference was different, though, because The Woman Who Taught Me Everything I Know when I was young and inexperienced had me believe that a gentleman ALWAYS returned the favor after receiving oral sex (and sometimes before!).

When I had a girl say thanks but no thanks the first time, I thought...uh oh, I did something wrong!

 

[bg23]

I have some scarring down there from something that doesn't need to be mentioned, so I don't even need five fingers to count the number of men I've let go down on me. And I was already in a long term relationship with each of the four men I loved and trusted enough to allow that.

Actually, that's not true. I once felt that kind of trust in someone on the first date. We've been together just over a year now.

awwwwwwwwwww.

 

[bg23]

I don't think that is all that weird or uncommon. I knew a girl who would fuck me but never laid lips on my cock.

Yeah but it might have been for different reasons.

a) Gross, unclean junk
b) She's a prude
c) Jaw surgery
d) Selfish/lazy

my reason for it is none of the above, I might just not like you enough to get that intimate with you, which I'm not sure is that common a reason.

 

[KRCummings]

I'd let a guy analize me before I'd share my soda with him. Or my french fries.

Yeah, that's what we've heard. "Lincoln Tunnel Laurel" is what we've heard.

 

[bg23]

I'd let a guy analize me before I'd share my soda with him. Or my french fries.

Oh my god you know what I hate? When you're ordering food, and you're like, "Do you want anything? Some fries?"

And the other person is like, "Nah, I'm good"

So then you get your food and then you sit down and they're like, "I'll just have some of your fries"

AND THEN THE RAGE KILLING BEGINS

 

[IndieSnob]

I'd let a guy analize me before I'd share my soda with him. Or my french fries.

Depends on whose fries were talking about.

 

[KRCummings]

When it comes to a guy going down on me I'm just fine with it pretty much any time but during our very short swinging phase waaaaay back in the day, one of the rules my husband had was that the other guy couldn't go down on me. He didn't care about anything else but that. I thought it was weird but whatever.