moralistic question.....

[Cheyenne]

Okay, I've avoided posting on this thread so far. But you're not alone. I never gave my pic to anyone I met online until my cyberpartner (see previous threads). See, I'd be one of those people Chef would never be attracted to, and I know it. We may be big, but we aren't stupid.

I have no scanner or digital camera, and I snail mailed the pix to my friend. It was agonizing waiting to hear what he thought, wondering whether I'd ever hear from him again once he saw me. It took me a long time to get the courage to drop that envelope with the pix in the mail.

So what happened? He got the pix on a day at work when he was really busy. He took time to email me to tell me I had nothing to worry about, my pix didn't make him want to run for the hills (a phrase I had used first warning him ahead of time...). I know now he was going out of his way to be nice and reassure me, but at the time I was hurt. No comments on "gee, your blue eyes really are beautiful" or "what were you worried about, you ARE attractive". Somehow "you don't want to make me run for the hills" didn't have the same effect, and I was still hurt. I had gotten his pix first, and had already told him he was gorgeous (he is!)and why I thought so.

That was a few weeks ago, and I really don't know if he finds me attractive or not. I still don't get any specific comments from him about how I look. But he is still talking to me, same as before the pix. I am waiting to see if he wants to meet in RL, I guess that answer will partially tell me how honest he was about my pix "not making him want to run for the hills." If he runs, his actions will speak louder than words.

In summary of a very long post, if someone sends you a pic, remember that they are waiting to hear your reaction. Try to find at least one really nice thing to say about it- it will probably make their day if you do. And crush them if you don't.

 

[Sue]

Good point...

In summary of a very long post, if someone sends you a pic, remember that they are waiting to hear your reaction. Try to find at least one really nice thing to say about it- it will probably make their day if you do. And crush them if you don't.

Cheyenne. And it's not that hard to do.

 

[Jade]

CHEF:


I am so honored to have gotten your longest post!
As a result... perhaps I will send you the pic.... and let you judge for yourself?

You mentioned this overweight guy... and it sort of dawned on me... I never realized you were bi? Wow... we learn something new everyday now don't we?

Oh... what does 'Ta' mean?? You say that a lot... must be an Australia/New Z thing I suppose.

The bone structure comments I made were more in relation to females not males. If a male has a large bone structure and weighs more he is not looked down upon or criticized.
I completely respect your feelings and what you and aren't attracted to believe me.... I just feel like "love" has no boundaries and that if you truly love someone.. really and truly, then you are willing to look past that to some degree? I dont know really I mean, I am not even close to perfect and perhaps I am even a hypocrite. I mean, I still haven't been able to look past things completely and purely love someone for what is inside... I am certain I have been able to come rather close.... and I have loved people that I would have thought otherwise unattractive after getting to know them... but could I ever want someone who was everything I did NOT want physically...? I want SO badly to be able to say yes, but I can't. Hate me if you want but that is the truth. (I can see it now... emails pouring into my hotmail... "Jade you critical, picky bitch"... blah blah) But Chef, still... do you see my point? It wasn't at all anything personal against you in ANY way. I totally adore you and wouldn't want you to ever think otherwise.

Oh, and as far as the picture you sent me.... fabulous!!
I love it! I am saving it on my hard drive and everything and am so glad you sent it.
I think your self esteem needs a little boost... no reason for you not to realize that you are attractive.



LAUREL:

Thanks for confirming about Chef's post.


DOCGTVT:


"i too have sent risque' photos to friends. while i may not be the image of a greek god, who among us is? "

Oh, I am totally a greek goddess Doc, I don't know what you mean? (haha)

"the image of yourself is an extension of your soul. put it forth so that others may determine your inner beauty. if they don't care for it, thats their problem.
jade, you can send me a pic anytime!"

Thank you so much. That was really sweet. I will think on that.
You are right I think, about an image being an extension (to a point of course) of one's soul. Also, often enough, someone who you wouldn't think beautiful on the outside at first, becomes entrancing when their inner person is. But it goes both ways.. I have met people who really did look like greek gods physically but were bitches/assholes and it made them look SO hideous!
I wish that I could be completely acceptant of all people, including those asshole people... but apparently... I cannot yet proclaim "self-actualization" or.... "nirvana." (sigh)

Oh, and I am thrilled you lost your virginity to "me!"



CHEYENNE:

I was so touched by your post.

If you send me the picture I promise to reply with complete honesty. I know how much it must have hurt you to have that experience and how much harder even, to have re-lived it by typing it out as a post on this thread.


It really is so personal, liberating and exciting and yet, so (can't recall the word I want right now sorry ugh!) vulnerable. Your emotions (depending on how much you care about what others think) truly are at someone else's "mercy" as well as your self-esteem and self worth/confidence.

envelope with the pix in the mail.
In my case, I really did want him to think the best possible things about my picture... but I cannot possibly fathom how I would have felt had he said something along the lines of "didn't make me want to run for the hills?"
GEEZ!


Something to think on for the women... men stereotypicall just don't think the way that we do... and very very possibly he meant that (believe it or not) as a compliment!
VERY possibly!

For men... when women send you pictures of themselves... they need to hear good things... it is such a vulnerable feeling to send them.. give them some credit!
Sorry, I know not all men .... just some... like the one our sweet Cheyenne had her experience with.
AH! (big sigh) okay.


THOR:

LOVE your sig. line... am very keen on Native American stuff... beautiful quote.

JUSTIN:

As always... (((Justin))) right back at you!

SUE:

Thanks for sharing that... we just can't help but care can we?

 

[Rand al'Thor]

Jade,

I just got around to reading up on this post. After looking over the conversation, I would say things were more of a miscommunication rather than negative vibes. I found the pic in your profile, and even though it was rather dark, I could definitely still see that you are an attractive woman, and that your picture simply could NOT have been bad.

If I ever take the time to get a picture on my computer, I could probably work up the nerve to send it to you, but you would have to swear upon a stack of bibles and everything holy, so that if the picture ever found its way onto a public forum, your house would be infected by the fleas from a thousand camel's.

Rand al'Thor
The Dragon Reborn

 

[Jade]

Jade,

I just got around to reading up on this post. After looking over the conversation, I would say things were more of a miscommunication rather than negative vibes. I found the pic in your profile, and even though it was rather dark, I could definitely still see that you are an attractive woman, and that your picture simply could NOT have been bad.

If I ever take the time to get a picture on my computer, I could probably work up the nerve to send it to you, but you would have to swear upon a stack of bibles and everything holy, so that if the picture ever found its way onto a public forum, your house would be infected by the fleas from a thousand camel's.

Rand al'Thor
The Dragon Reborn

Rand baby... it's a deal!
So ... get the nerve and send it!

 

[Naked Hunny]

........

 

[Jade]

Jade just remember that no matter what someone says about you we will always love you!!!

KISSES LICKS AND NIBBLES

GOSH! I feel giddy all over now!
xoxo you naked "hottie" you!

 

[Cheyenne]

If you send me the picture I promise to reply with complete honesty.

In my case, I really did want him to think the best possible things about my picture... but I cannot possibly fathom how I would have felt had he said something along the lines of "didn't make me want to run for the hills?"
GEEZ!

Thanks for your offer, but the only opinion of my pic that really matters to me is his. He didn't make up the line about wanting to run for the hills, either. I think I wrote something like "Here it is, I hope it doesn't make you want to run for the hills when you see it" on the note I sent with the pic.

I know he didn't mean to hurt me with his response. I've learned that when he is really busy at work, his mind can't think about multiple topics at the same. My pix arrived on a day when he was just swamped and I am sure he thought he was being considerate by taking time to email me to tell me he had received them. It's just that sometimes what you DON'T say speaks louder than what you DO say.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Guess what I found

And yes babe I still love you

 

[Cheyenne]

Ouch, this thread brings back quite a few painful memories for me. Some of them are a lot more recent than this thread.

Sending out your pix to people can bring great joy, but also great pain. One of the greatest hurts I've discovered is the pattern of talking to someone and finally sending your pic, only to have the other person promptly drop off the face of the earth. Not much better is the person who insists your pic is fine, sends a few more emails, and THEN drops off the face of the earth never to be heard from again. Why not just tell the truth in the first place?

 

[Jade]

AWE... thanks for bringing the memories back Chef.

Cheyenne... they are just stupid... really really stupid... I have seen your pics hon... you've have NOTHING to worry about!

 

[Guest]

I feel funny

 

[Jade]

Wow... just wow

Indy, well said... that so incredibly beautiful.

Two things.. first of all, this is an old thread and Chef caused it to re-surface... it's from last summer when I was still married. *sigh*

However, thanks for for words. (Gracias por sus palabras fabulosas senor.)

Also, I was considering skipping lunch today... something I NEVER do... I eat more than anyone on the planet, but now I feel like I don't need to, thanks to your kindness.

((Indy)) That's the best kind of hug I can give you for now...

 

[Thumper]

The beautiful people..

are all of you...


With a special mention to Cheyenne...a very sexy lady.

 

[Endlessly]

Supermodel?!?

HELL no baby, you have no idea how much I'd kill to look like you. I know we've talked about how similar we look, but the fact remains-- I'm still 5'8" and built thick enough to weigh 185.

You're gorgeous. More than that.. Your pictures radiate an innocent sensuality that is utterly amazing.

The air sparkles around you, babe. Not many supermodels can say that.

*HUGS*

 

[~justin]

((((Jade))))



*drops back into lurk mode*

 

[Xander]

For those of us who remember Jades Pics.....Damn!!!!!

And Endlessly. Damn Damn.!!!!!

How many time do I have to tell you two. You're fucking beautiful??