My ducky doesn't bite. He vibrates. And I will not keep him away from you. He was here first. He can do as he pleases. So if you don't want him near you, don't pee your pants.
My wife came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." She was right. When she went out of the bedroom, I squirted it over the doorknobs. She couldn't get back in.
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," I
said as I stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I*
mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money" she
replied.
It was visitor's day at the lunatic asylum. All the inmates were standing in the courtyard and singing "Ave Maria" and singing it beautifully.
Oddly, each of them was holding a red apple in one
hand and tapping it rhythmically with a pencil. A visitor listened in wonderment to the performance and then approached the conductor of the choir.
"I am a retired choir director," he said. "This is one of the best choirs I have ever heard."
"Yes, I'm very proud of them," said the conductor.
"You should take them on tour," said the visitor,
"what are they called?"
"Surely that's obvious," replied the conductor. "They are the....