Mi Vida Loca
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freakygirl
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lickerish said:
want me to call you?
RhumbRunner13
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You can vent.......
let's not try the "cryin' shit", don't know if I can handle that!
Rhumb
let's not try the "cryin' shit", don't know if I can handle that!
Rhumb
Rubyfruit
ripe
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Sensitive guy, eh, Rhumb?
Licky, I'm here too. Last week when I was down, I found out that a lot of people here care about me. It touched me deeply with each and every show of compassion that came in the form of written words. It also made me cry even harder. I don't know why. If that's where you're at, let it out, baby, just let it out.
We're here when you want to tell us.
xoxo
K
Licky, I'm here too. Last week when I was down, I found out that a lot of people here care about me. It touched me deeply with each and every show of compassion that came in the form of written words. It also made me cry even harder. I don't know why. If that's where you're at, let it out, baby, just let it out.
We're here when you want to tell us.
xoxo
K
lickerish
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here's my book
In the 5 years I've lived on my own, it's been a rocky journey.. not always having enough money for everything when the bills piled up, or when emergencies happened. I was/ am a single mom.. and minimum wage (at the time) wasn't cutting it, especially with no support from their dad.
So my beautiful, kind-hearted, giving, precious mom helped me when times called for it. Pay a bill here.. buy some food there. I almost never came to her for help... I hate HATE owing people, especially her.. not knowing if I could ever pay back. But she always knew, ya know? Mommy to the rescue.
In 4 years, I borrowed a grand total of a little over $9,000 (there were car loans involved)... every year I payed her back with exactly half of my earned income credit from taxes, she never got less that $2000 a year.
~~~~~~~~~~~
When my mom passed away she left me, my sister, and my kids each a pretty decent sized inheritance.. each. Even my dad. Well, the day after her funeral, he called his place of employment (for 30 years) and retired, as of that day. He finally got his retirement papers in the mail and he will be getting about 1/2 of what he earned in a month working.. each month. I almost think I will be making more than him.
I haven't needed to borrow money from them in a long time, my job I've had for the last year has done me well financially.
About mid- March he left for California to visit his brother for a month.. they did the hot rod/ classic car show thing (they both have classics) and when he came back he was hell bent on doing another restore. A few days later he went out of town and bought a 1936 Ford Sedan for his new 'project car'.. cost $9,000.
After the funeral expense, and this car... he now has $10,000 left of his 'inheritance'.. I gently reminded him that this is his living money.. and he won't have anything left if he spends it all restoring another vehicle.
My point? (sorry about the book here). All the money I ever borrowed from my mom, was dealt with only through my mom.. my dad never knew any specifics, only that she helped me here and there. I knew that with this last tax check I probably came very close to paying it all back.
He had the nerve to tell me after I made that comment about his money.. 'well you still have to pay me back' (which mom only lent me with her money, not his). I said 'no dad, I pretty much paid her off'. He's all 'no, she said something about paying a couple of car payments and your insurance and thats not on her list.'... so he's all trying to say I owed him a couple thousand dollars. I pulled out her paper (she was meticulous, bless her heart) and I counted out every penny I ever borrowed... then subtracted all the money I ever paid back.. and it showed that I owed like $2,000. Then I was all 'wait a second, you don't have on here the $3,000 that I just paid you this year).. so I deducted that, and it showed that I actually overpaid by $1,000... THEN he had the nerve to add 'well, what about the car payments and insurance?' so I deducted all that.. and he had on his list the payment they made to clear a medical bill from collections... my christmas gift (gonna make me pay back the gift my mom gave me).
Anyways.. it still came back that I owed nothing. And he got upset! He's like 'so I get nothing?' I was like I'm sorry dad, but I paid off all my debt.
I can't believe how petty he's gotten. It's not my fault that he blew almost all his money on something assinine like that car. Now he wants a cut of mine to live off of.
I told him 'Dad, for all the times you were ever there for me financially.. do you think I'm not going to be there for you too? If you need something.. ask me.'
I am so hurt by his behaviour.
In the 5 years I've lived on my own, it's been a rocky journey.. not always having enough money for everything when the bills piled up, or when emergencies happened. I was/ am a single mom.. and minimum wage (at the time) wasn't cutting it, especially with no support from their dad.
So my beautiful, kind-hearted, giving, precious mom helped me when times called for it. Pay a bill here.. buy some food there. I almost never came to her for help... I hate HATE owing people, especially her.. not knowing if I could ever pay back. But she always knew, ya know? Mommy to the rescue.
In 4 years, I borrowed a grand total of a little over $9,000 (there were car loans involved)... every year I payed her back with exactly half of my earned income credit from taxes, she never got less that $2000 a year.
~~~~~~~~~~~
When my mom passed away she left me, my sister, and my kids each a pretty decent sized inheritance.. each. Even my dad. Well, the day after her funeral, he called his place of employment (for 30 years) and retired, as of that day. He finally got his retirement papers in the mail and he will be getting about 1/2 of what he earned in a month working.. each month. I almost think I will be making more than him.
I haven't needed to borrow money from them in a long time, my job I've had for the last year has done me well financially.
About mid- March he left for California to visit his brother for a month.. they did the hot rod/ classic car show thing (they both have classics) and when he came back he was hell bent on doing another restore. A few days later he went out of town and bought a 1936 Ford Sedan for his new 'project car'.. cost $9,000.
After the funeral expense, and this car... he now has $10,000 left of his 'inheritance'.. I gently reminded him that this is his living money.. and he won't have anything left if he spends it all restoring another vehicle.
My point? (sorry about the book here). All the money I ever borrowed from my mom, was dealt with only through my mom.. my dad never knew any specifics, only that she helped me here and there. I knew that with this last tax check I probably came very close to paying it all back.
He had the nerve to tell me after I made that comment about his money.. 'well you still have to pay me back' (which mom only lent me with her money, not his). I said 'no dad, I pretty much paid her off'. He's all 'no, she said something about paying a couple of car payments and your insurance and thats not on her list.'... so he's all trying to say I owed him a couple thousand dollars. I pulled out her paper (she was meticulous, bless her heart) and I counted out every penny I ever borrowed... then subtracted all the money I ever paid back.. and it showed that I owed like $2,000. Then I was all 'wait a second, you don't have on here the $3,000 that I just paid you this year).. so I deducted that, and it showed that I actually overpaid by $1,000... THEN he had the nerve to add 'well, what about the car payments and insurance?' so I deducted all that.. and he had on his list the payment they made to clear a medical bill from collections... my christmas gift (gonna make me pay back the gift my mom gave me).
Anyways.. it still came back that I owed nothing. And he got upset! He's like 'so I get nothing?' I was like I'm sorry dad, but I paid off all my debt.
I can't believe how petty he's gotten. It's not my fault that he blew almost all his money on something assinine like that car. Now he wants a cut of mine to live off of.
I told him 'Dad, for all the times you were ever there for me financially.. do you think I'm not going to be there for you too? If you need something.. ask me.'
I am so hurt by his behaviour.
RhumbRunner13
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Aw, Ruby......
You should know I'm only kid'n
Jezzus, if she wants to cry she probly will, I just hoped she'd get mean, nasty and only vent!
You should know I'm only kid'n
Jezzus, if she wants to cry she probly will, I just hoped she'd get mean, nasty and only vent!
freakygirl
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Licky.. *hugs* sorry to hear about all of this. I feel your pain.
I don't know what I can say to help.. maybe it's not words you need. Maybe it's just knowing someone is here and listening.
I need to see Licky ta ta's..
I don't know what I can say to help.. maybe it's not words you need. Maybe it's just knowing someone is here and listening.
I need to see Licky ta ta's..
Rubyfruit
ripe
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Licky,
People are freaky about money, sometimes even parents. Your dad is obviously feeling pressure, but hello, he is an adult and shouldn't have retired if he wasn't prepared for it financially. A couple of thousand from you wouldn't make all that much difference for him in the long haul anyway.
I've had a couple of tangles with my dad over money too and it was ugly. Caused a real riff between us for many years. (Of course, there was a lot more to it than just money - money issues are always about power, in my opinion.)
I can totally see why you feel down about this, babe. I think you'd feel better if you talk to him again in a couple of days and try to get some resolution.
(hugs)
People are freaky about money, sometimes even parents. Your dad is obviously feeling pressure, but hello, he is an adult and shouldn't have retired if he wasn't prepared for it financially. A couple of thousand from you wouldn't make all that much difference for him in the long haul anyway.
I've had a couple of tangles with my dad over money too and it was ugly. Caused a real riff between us for many years. (Of course, there was a lot more to it than just money - money issues are always about power, in my opinion.)
I can totally see why you feel down about this, babe. I think you'd feel better if you talk to him again in a couple of days and try to get some resolution.
(hugs)
patient1
Mr. Cheyenne
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Maybe he didn't want to admit he was wrong, & so he kept stretching (paying for your Christmas present is plain silly) only to win the argument.
Or maybe he needs you now that your Mom is gone, but you don't need him anymore(financially) , & he doesn't want to face that idea.
Whatever the reason or lack of one, this has to be painful for you. I'm sorry.
Or maybe he needs you now that your Mom is gone, but you don't need him anymore(financially) , & he doesn't want to face that idea.
Whatever the reason or lack of one, this has to be painful for you. I'm sorry.
RhumbRunner13
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Damn.......
.....now I got two ladies jumpin' in my stuff over an off the wall comment!
Here's what I think, Lick!
I think your "Dad" got his part of your mother over many years. I think what she gave to you was yours, and like most families, if she wanted to collect "past debts" she would have taken that out of what she gave you. Your Mom gave you what she wanted you to have, don't doubt her wishes!
So there!!
Rhumb
.....now I got two ladies jumpin' in my stuff over an off the wall comment!
Here's what I think, Lick!
I think your "Dad" got his part of your mother over many years. I think what she gave to you was yours, and like most families, if she wanted to collect "past debts" she would have taken that out of what she gave you. Your Mom gave you what she wanted you to have, don't doubt her wishes!
So there!!
Rhumb
lickerish
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It's settled now Ruby.. he knows I do not owe him a dime for anything my mom let me borrow.
It just hurts, how he was like 'you owe me!' and wanted it 'now!'.. when he didn't have the facts. And I know he's feeling the crunch of making the mistake of retiring un-prepared.... and buying stupid toys that he doesn't need, or can't afford.
I think it pisses him off that we (my sister & I) have this huge chunk of money that mom my left us.. and it's not his.
Like I said, if I owed- I would certainly pay back.. and if he needs, I would never say no. The man brought me into this world for gods sake.
I know that having that manic- depression shit can really fuck up in your head. Whenever he gets stressed, he gets seriously illogical, and mean (not abusive, just no patience for anything). It's just hard to deal with.
It just hurts, how he was like 'you owe me!' and wanted it 'now!'.. when he didn't have the facts. And I know he's feeling the crunch of making the mistake of retiring un-prepared.... and buying stupid toys that he doesn't need, or can't afford.
I think it pisses him off that we (my sister & I) have this huge chunk of money that mom my left us.. and it's not his.
Like I said, if I owed- I would certainly pay back.. and if he needs, I would never say no. The man brought me into this world for gods sake.
I know that having that manic- depression shit can really fuck up in your head. Whenever he gets stressed, he gets seriously illogical, and mean (not abusive, just no patience for anything). It's just hard to deal with.
freakygirl
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Rhumb
I'd be glad to jump your stuff also
but i'm only here for Licky ta-ta's..
I'd be glad to jump your stuff also
but i'm only here for Licky ta-ta's..
lickerish
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lilDevil.. i'll have some of that fancy double chocolate fudge cake.. only if it's okay to lick it off of yer bossoms
lavy, thank you for being here. you too freaky (mistress and lobi too)
This is exactly what I was thinking myself Patient1.
Thank you Rhumb, I know what you say makes sense.
lavy, thank you for being here. you too freaky (mistress and lobi too)
This is exactly what I was thinking myself Patient1.
Thank you Rhumb, I know what you say makes sense.
Rubyfruit
ripe
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Yeah, that's what it sounds like, Licky.
Hey, tell him this story.
My dad calls me about two weeks ago in a total funk. Seems he lost his entire retirement nest egg in the stock market. Every penny. He's 63 and a commercial fisherman. It's a very physically demanding job. He has been simi-retired for the last few years, only working one fishery a year, 4 months work. Now, he has to work to live and, let's face it, he doesn't have many years left to plan for retirement, if that day should come.
I fully expect to take both of my parents in at some point. Which should be interesting since they're divorced.
Hey, tell him this story.
My dad calls me about two weeks ago in a total funk. Seems he lost his entire retirement nest egg in the stock market. Every penny. He's 63 and a commercial fisherman. It's a very physically demanding job. He has been simi-retired for the last few years, only working one fishery a year, 4 months work. Now, he has to work to live and, let's face it, he doesn't have many years left to plan for retirement, if that day should come.
I fully expect to take both of my parents in at some point. Which should be interesting since they're divorced.
freakygirl
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Licky.. thank you. You made A drool though (I didn't realize he was sneaking a peek over my shoulder ) (speaking of him, we talked about your car choices, I will either call or pm you tomorrow.. k?)
Ruby, would you like some practice? You can have my mom for a week or two..
) (speaking of him, we talked about your car choices, I will either call or pm you tomorrow.. k?)Ruby, would you like some practice? You can have my mom for a week or two..
