Methods of writing pauses in speech?

[tenyari]

When I have characters are are uncertain, thinking over their words, or just pause a lot when talking; I like to put pauses in their speech throughout dialogue.

What are some good ways to write this out?

I've been trying using a LOT of '...'

"Oh... oops. Yeah, remember... Oh you didn't meet him. Then there was... no wait, he was from my job last summer. And um... um... OK yeah!" Yoana said. "A couple times."

Using commas, semicolons, and even periods seems more fitting to establish grammar structure than pacing.

The same quote as above, reads at a different pace:

"Oh, oops. Yeah, remember? Oh you didn't meet him. Then there was, no wait, he was from my job last summer. And um, um, OK yeah!" Yoana said. "A couple times."

I could mix these:

"Oh... oops. Yeah, remember? Oh you didn't meet him. Then there was, no wait, he was from my job last summer. And um... um. OK yeah!" Yoana said. "A couple times."

Or some other method?

 

[astushkin]

I use '...' and I often break up the quote with some action of the character. In your example:

"Oh... oops. Yeah, remember? Oh you didn't meet him." Her brows drew together. "Then there was, no wait, he was from my job last summer. And um... um. OK yeah!" Yoana said. "A couple times."

Other examples to convey thinking:
She twirled her hair.
Her pencil tapped on the paper.
Her voice trailed off.

 

[Voboy]

I think I use too many of those "..." things. I had a definite problem with semicolons in my past, so I went for the ellipsis, but now I'm examining those as well.

There are times when I think I should just let the reader insert their own pauses. But that's a hard thing to get myself to do.

 

[EarlyMorningLight]

In addition to the suggestions above, sometimes I'll just speak to the character's speech patterns through description. Something like: She drummed her fingers on the table, looked around, avoiding eye contact. Her words came slowly, punctuated by deep sighs and fumbling stutters.

Then just write the dialogue more or less as normal, with the odd ellipsis or construction to suggest hesitancy, like having a character start to say one thing before stopping after a couple of words and rephrasing.

 

[DouglasFinney]

I’m not a particular fan of overusing ellipses. I think a little goes a long way, and I try to mix it up. The primary tool that I use to show broken speech is to literally break up the dialogue with action. Like

“I think,” said Billy, who then drank down a full glass of orange juice. “I really think.” He smiled and picked one tab of acid off its aluminum foil bed. “We.” He waved it around in a circle before his face before he popped in onto a tongue that darted out of his mouth like a snake’s. “We’re going to have a good time tonight.” His nose wrinkled and he reached for the bong. “Dude.”

People do a lot of things when they aren’t talking, however subtle. When people are talking fast—as it is with any other monomaniacal task—they talk with intent and do little but talk unless they use their actions to punctuate their speech. It’s the reverse with slower speech. I try to break up the dialogue with physical actions that are discrete activities separate from speech.

I also think it’s perfectly fine to narrate a character’s difficulty with speech. Like

Teddy fumbled with his words before he managed to say, “Dude.”

That said, different tactics will lend themselves best to different styles of writing; what works for me doesn’t work for everyone.

Happy Writing

 

[Smuttyandfun]

In addition to the suggestions above, sometimes I'll just speak to the character's speech patterns through description. Something like: She drummed her fingers on the table, looked around, avoiding eye contact. Her words came slowly, punctuated by deep sighs and fumbling stutters.

Then just write the dialogue more or less as normal, with the odd ellipsis or construction to suggest hesitancy, like having a character start to say one thing before stopping after a couple of words and rephrasing.

I agree, change what's happening to indicate a pause, rather than using the same thing over and over.

 

[tenyari]

Some great ideas in here. Time to do some editing.
So for my 'sample sentence' I might use:

"Oh, oops. Yeah, remember," Yoana put a finger to her chin in thought. "Oh you didn't meet him. Then there was, no wait, he was from my job last summer. And um," she paused, rolling her eyes up. "Um. OK yeah!" she admitted. "A couple times."

And try to keep a pattern to being descriptive, or cutting the pauses when description gets to be too much.

 

[Duleigh]

When I have characters are are uncertain, thinking over their words, or just pause a lot when talking; I like to put pauses in their speech throughout dialogue.

What are some good ways to write this out?

I've been trying using a LOT of '...'


Using commas, semicolons, and even periods seems more fitting to establish grammar structure than pacing.

The same quote as above, reads at a different pace:


I could mix these:


Or some other method?

A semicolon ; is used indicating a pause, typically between two main clauses where the second clause could stand by itself in it's own sentence.

I'm not sure if a semicolon is taught in English any more, but it's used as an indicator that something important is coming up, a clause that can stand on its own. However it doesn't indicate a pause any more than a comma. I use ellipsis ... then have the narrative explain the pauses:

"I'm uh... sorry Mrs. Robinson... I've never seen a n-n-naked..."
Dustin's speech was slow and painful, he paused and stuttered, it was obvious to Mrs. Robinson that Dustin was terrified of her, and it was up to her to make him a man.

 

[KeithD]

The ellipsis is fine to show a pause, although in this context, it's called "suspensiuon points." (Chicago Manual of Style 16, 13.39) This is not a proper use of a semicolon ("used between two independent clauses not joined by a conjunction to signal a closer connection between them than a period would." CMS 16, 6.54--thus the opposite of indicating a pause).

Although it doesn't matter here at Literotica, note that a publisher's ellipsis is not the unspaced . . . you find on a computer. In publishing the points are separated with spaces: "Oh . . . oops. Yeah,"

(Later, when I checked back, I saw that the system here corrected my attempt to render an unspaced series of dots.)

 

[AlinaX]

The ellipsis should be used sparingly. That said, I'm bemused to see I used it eight times on one page here, twelve times on one page in the sequel. I use it four times in quick succession here to indicate someone too embarrassed/distracted to be say what she wants to say.

It's generally good advice to avoid um and er, although there are occasions when they can be used effectively, e.g., for comedic effect. ("You know how I was, ah, fucking your sister? Well, I was planning to pull out before I finished, but... um.")

Semicolons are useful for connecting things, like lists, but many readers and even authors don't really understand them properly.

Dashes are useful for interruptions.

Best to just use normal periods as much as possible, e.g.:

"Oh. Oops. Yeah. Remember - Oh, you didn't meet him. Then there was... No. Wait. He was from my job last summer, and - OK. Yeah!"

 

[Zeb_Carter]

And here I thought I was the only one that used... ellipsis.