Mental Illness

[ace195008]

Oh yeah, I have late diagnosed ADHD and High Functioning Autism , Asperger’s and some PTSD so I get what your both saying. It’s tough to deal with these situations.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I guess I should put this here but I suffer from depression and anxiety, plus I'm grieving over my brothers suicide. I've been feeling very alone lately, and lost friends slowly because nobody knows what to say to me. I'm a very loving person, but I'm also sensitive and been told to toughen up. I hate hearing this because it honestly makes me feel worse. I've been loving, sensitive and caring all my life. I've been bottling up my emotions to seem like I'm okay, but I'm sad. I miss my brother dearly. Think of him all the time. I wish I was like everyone else but I feel different, like I can't relate with anyone. It's not my expectations, I just think deeply, feel deeply and look at the world like a picture. I wish someone would get me but only a few ever do, so I feel weird around people I barely know. I see the looks on people's faces as they judge me sometimes, and it makes me feel like something is wrong with me. I'm quiet, a little shy but once I feel comfy with someone I get along with, I can't shut up. I've been feeling like this lately, and crying, cause I feel alone. Feel like a failure because I couldn't see that my brother was depressed. I hate social media now because it just reminds me how noone speaks to me. I'm rambling on here so I'll stop. I should get some sleep and rest, it's been a very stressful day for me. I just feel very low about myself due to how people treat me.

Didn't see this earlier but wanted to say something.

I lost a close friend earlier this year, suddenly (not suicide). There's a very strong urge to ask "how could I have prevented this?" Losing people hurts, and we don't want to hurt, so it's human nature to try to learn from that hurt. But sometimes there just isn't an answer. We can't see everything, especially when somebody doesn't want others to know they're struggling.

And it's not weakness to be sad over losing your brother. Some things are worthy of grief.

Sometimes in situations like this it can be helpful to articulate to people what you are and aren't expecting from them. Something like: "I'm going to be hurting over this for a long time. I don't expect you to find the magic words to think that. But if you're willing to be with me when I'm sad, that would help." I think often people keep quiet not because they don't care, but because they can't think of anything to say that's adequate to the size of the hurt, and it can help if they understand that you're not expecting miracles.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Saw my folks for Christmas, usually a difficult experience for me. This time, despite the fact that nothing was actually any different from any other year, it was okay! Good, even. I'd give it a solid B. I must be growing.

This coming week, one of my gremlins has an appointment with a psych for an assessment. We've had a lot of trouble finding appropriate mental health care in our area, and I'm hopeful about this Dr. I've spoken with him at length over the phone and he seems to know his stuff. We're looking at a probable diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder and disruptive mood disregulation disorder (DMDD). If you're not familiar with DMDD, imagine someone in the worst mood of their life, forever.

Eg., this morning I quietly walked into her room to say hello and her greeting was, 'What the F are you doing in here?' That's pretty much her baseline mood, all day, every day. Plus explosive, angry outbursts. It's exhausting and discouraging. I'm hoping that this assessment will help us turn a corner in her level of care and provide some hope for the future.

Healing and recovery is like slogging through knee-high mud in your wellies. It takes a long damn time! And it's hard work. But we're getting there.

Hang in there! Ours was a challenging teenager - we never could get them to see a professional, so no diagnosis, but I would suspect something like autism + emotional disregulation issues. It was a tough few years but they've grown up into a very easy-going adult who's pleasant to be around.

 

[Wonderer67]

i def have combat related PTSD, I just sort of grind thru it and bury myself in busyness. Occasional depression. Most times are good, but this year has been a motherfucker for a few reasons.

I have not been diagnosed but a friend of mine who is in mental health, suspects I also have ADHD. I cannot focus for shit. It makes my professional life tough. Also impacts my fam life somewhat but not as much as work.

I decided this year, that after some unlucky shit has happened, that I am gonna dedicate myself to wellness and mindfulness. I started yoga and stretching/breathing this year which has helped somewhat.

I want to start therapy to explore some of my demons but I am sort of scared to start this process.

 

[ace195008]

Wonderer it’s tough with therapy, I had therapy for probably 10 yrs and multiple therapists missed my ADHD , some Asperger’s and PTSD , mine not from combat. But the therapists all helped me on the road of life. I was diagnosed with the above at the age of 63, my neuro dr said over the years I had developed my own coping mechanisms. At as I got old I just lost it, so meds were needed. what I am saying don’t give up at all. Find someone you have chemistry with and really understands you.

 

[BiBunny]

Is anyone else dealing with the particular side effect of atypical antipsychotics where they make you eat yourself out of house and home?

A little context: I'm on Wellbutrin (450 mg.), Abilify (20 mg.), and Adderall (20 mg.) daily for bipolar 1 and ADHD. When my Abilify was adjusted to 20 mg. a day, I ballooned in weight (and I was already not fucking small). I'm also now a Type 2 diabetic. (Thanks, Abilify!) When the Adderall was added, it helped control the massive amount of hunger I was feeling on the 20 mg. of Abilify, but I think now, about eight months later, it's sort of stopped helping in that regard. I'm back to being hungry every two or three hours. And that is not only inconvenient as fuck, but also very much not good for me.

Anyone know a good way to combat this problem? I would just stop the Abilify if it weren't for the fact that I feel better than I ever have. No mood swings, no mania, no depression, nothing. I just feel like I assume a normal person feels. But I sure would like to stop eating so much!

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

@BiBunny
Hi, I hear ya.. I was on 20mg Abilify for many years, until I needed a bump to 30mg in 2021. I'm on Lexapro 10mg also...
I've always been a big girl.. but yes, I'm hungry a lot... I had the sleeve surgery in 2019, so that keeps me from eating too much at once... But I'm still hungry often.
I have no cure... But wanted to say I relate...

 

[IrisAlthea]

Is anyone else dealing with the particular side effect of atypical antipsychotics where they make you eat yourself out of house and home?

A little context: I'm on Wellbutrin (450 mg.), Abilify (20 mg.), and Adderall (20 mg.) daily for bipolar 1 and ADHD. When my Abilify was adjusted to 20 mg. a day, I ballooned in weight (and I was already not fucking small). I'm also now a Type 2 diabetic. (Thanks, Abilify!) When the Adderall was added, it helped control the massive amount of hunger I was feeling on the 20 mg. of Abilify, but I think now, about eight months later, it's sort of stopped helping in that regard. I'm back to being hungry every two or three hours. And that is not only inconvenient as fuck, but also very much not good for me.

Anyone know a good way to combat this problem? I would just stop the Abilify if it weren't for the fact that I feel better than I ever have. No mood swings, no mania, no depression, nothing. I just feel like I assume a normal person feels. But I sure would like to stop eating so much!

No personal experience with these kinds of meds, but your question made me curious about what your doctor has to say about this? They are supposed to follow up weight among other things.
How is your diabetes treated? Could part of the hunger have to do with that or be helped with better diabetes management?
Might it be that they need to adjust doses for for example the Adderall since you put on weight?

I guess you already know this but please don’t stop the Abilify without having your doctor on board.

 

[BiBunny]

No personal experience with these kinds of meds, but your question made me curious about what your doctor has to say about this? They are supposed to follow up weight among other things.
How is your diabetes treated? Could part of the hunger have to do with that or be helped with better diabetes management?
Might it be that they need to adjust doses for for example the Adderall since you put on weight?

I guess you already know this but please don’t stop the Abilify without having your doctor on board.

I did speak to the doctor about it last time I saw her. I wasn't sure if it was the diabetes or the Abilify, and she said, given when the weight gain started (after she upped the dosage of the Abilify), it was most likely the Abilify causing the problem. Supposedly, my diabetes is managed pretty well with metformin. We'll see because I have another doctor's appointment next Tuesday. I considered the possibility of adjusting the Adderall, too, because it doesn't seem to be working as well for the ADHD as it did, either.

I will definitely not stop taking the Abilify without my doctor's approval. You probably can't pry it out of my cold, dead hands, to be honest. I hate the hunger, but I love what it's done for me, mood-wise. That stuff is life-changing.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I did speak to the doctor about it last time I saw her. I wasn't sure if it was the diabetes or the Abilify, and she said, given when the weight gain started (after she upped the dosage of the Abilify), it was most likely the Abilify causing the problem. Supposedly, my diabetes is managed pretty well with metformin. We'll see because I have another doctor's appointment next Tuesday. I considered the possibility of adjusting the Adderall, too, because it doesn't seem to be working as well for the ADHD as it did, either.

I will definitely not stop taking the Abilify without my doctor's approval. You probably can't pry it out of my cold, dead hands, to be honest. I hate the hunger, but I love what it's done for me, mood-wise. That stuff is life-changing.

Fingers crossed that it can be helped with adjusting the Adderall dose then.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

Note to self:
https://cdn012.reblogme.com/uploads/photos/2022/12/26949/reblogme-26949-Z8e11LHkaE.jpg

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I did speak to the doctor about it last time I saw her. I wasn't sure if it was the diabetes or the Abilify, and she said, given when the weight gain started (after she upped the dosage of the Abilify), it was most likely the Abilify causing the problem. Supposedly, my diabetes is managed pretty well with metformin. We'll see because I have another doctor's appointment next Tuesday. I considered the possibility of adjusting the Adderall, too, because it doesn't seem to be working as well for the ADHD as it did, either.

I will definitely not stop taking the Abilify without my doctor's approval. You probably can't pry it out of my cold, dead hands, to be honest. I hate the hunger, but I love what it's done for me, mood-wise. That stuff is life-changing.

I love Abilify for me. I've been on it since 2014..

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I have PTSD due to trauma which I won't mention what happened here, and my brother killed himself in 2019. It's been a constant struggle for me lately because of it. My brother's death I would say made my PTSD a lot worse. It completely broke me when I heard about my brother's suicide. On certain days I won't talk to anyone because I hate being a burden on others and don't want others to feel sorry for me, but I will always talk with my friends afterward about it. My good friends all are aware of it now and they know I'm not purposely trying to ignore them. I just get really low sometimes and all I do is cry.

One of my best friends or someone who I thought was my best friend told me to simply get over it and we pretty much don't talk much anymore. She doesn't truly get it or understand the pain I feel. It's not easy for me to just get over my brother's death. It hit me really hard though because it was a year after his death. There have been several times when we've tried to talk to each other again, but it got to the point where I stopped trying to reach out to her because she would always end up ignoring me in the end. Sometimes it's best just to walk away from certain things. As for my other friends, they're all very understanding and compassionate towards me, and their being by my side helps. I'm on medication now and see a therapist, it's helping me deal with grief a little bit.

Grief is something I've been dealing with also, it started with the sudden loss of my sister in 2005. It nearly killed me, mentally. In a way, it did. But I had my grandpa, my husband, and BFF, so I had support...
Well... Life was great... But my grandpa passed, and I was sad again.. I still had my BFF, until she ditched me due to my BPD episode..
In 2021, my husband passed away.
Almost 2 years later, and I almost have survivors guilt... Why am I still alive??
I've survived multiple medical emergencies, a couple OD's, and I'm here, they're no longer.
I know exactly the reason I'm alive and fight for my life... But it sucks doing it alone.
Sorry for going on...

 

[ace195008]

@Amethyst_MoonDream sorry to hear of whats going on with you. PTSD and ADHD and some HFA ( high functioning autism ) , yes I get it , my PTSD was wife age 49 dropping dead in front of me and my teenage daughters, 6 yrs of bullying in school and real bad near to death accident. Oh i forgot a mom not knowing what to do with a kid like me with ADHD , etc. Anything I can do to help , just ask

 

[ace195008]

Thank you, I'll be sure to do that and I'm sorry to hear about your wife. Bullying is rough too...

I'm here for you too. If you ever feel like talking, send me a message. We should all support one another. That's the way I see it anyways. This world needs more compassionate people.

@Amethyst_MoonDream until someone is inna situation similar to ours or anyone else on this thread, they don’t seem to get it in my experience. PTSD from seeing a death or like yourself it does things to you.

 

[BiBunny]

Is anyone else dealing with the particular side effect of atypical antipsychotics where they make you eat yourself out of house and home?

A little context: I'm on Wellbutrin (450 mg.), Abilify (20 mg.), and Adderall (20 mg.) daily for bipolar 1 and ADHD. When my Abilify was adjusted to 20 mg. a day, I ballooned in weight (and I was already not fucking small). I'm also now a Type 2 diabetic. (Thanks, Abilify!) When the Adderall was added, it helped control the massive amount of hunger I was feeling on the 20 mg. of Abilify, but I think now, about eight months later, it's sort of stopped helping in that regard. I'm back to being hungry every two or three hours. And that is not only inconvenient as fuck, but also very much not good for me.

Anyone know a good way to combat this problem? I would just stop the Abilify if it weren't for the fact that I feel better than I ever have. No mood swings, no mania, no depression, nothing. I just feel like I assume a normal person feels. But I sure would like to stop eating so much!

So to follow up with this, when I saw my doctor, I told her about the Abilify eating problem. She offered to up my Adderall, but I said we should probably wait on that because I'm already on 20 mg of Adderall, and I think they'll only let you go up to 30 in total.

So offhandedly, she suggested I try taking it before I go to bed, along with my nightly blood pressure meds and my second metformin of the day. She was like, "Maybe you can sleep through some of the being hungry."

So I swapped my Abilify to nighttime, not really expecting it to work, but it sort of has? I still get hungry, obviously, but not as frequently. And the Abilify is still working fine for what it's prescribed for. So somehow, that helped a bit!

 

[IrisAlthea]

So to follow up with this, when I saw my doctor, I told her about the Abilify eating problem. She offered to up my Adderall, but I said we should probably wait on that because I'm already on 20 mg of Adderall, and I think they'll only let you go up to 30 in total.

So offhandedly, she suggested I try taking it before I go to bed, along with my nightly blood pressure meds and my second metformin of the day. She was like, "Maybe you can sleep through some of the being hungry."

So I swapped my Abilify to nighttime, not really expecting it to work, but it sort of has? I still get hungry, obviously, but not as frequently. And the Abilify is still working fine for what it's prescribed for. So somehow, that helped a bit!

That’s great!
That doctor is a keeper!

 

[BiBunny]

I'm hoping part of the reason I'm so miserable at work right now is that I'm in need of a med adjustment.

Current meds listed below.

~Wellbutrin: 450 mg/day

~Abilify: 20 mg/day

~Adderall: 20 mg/day

My options are to up the Abilify, up the Adderall, or try a small dose of something else. Any suggestions? I'ma kill these asshole callers if something doesn't pan out, lol.

Any suggestions for something to adjust or add on for Bipolar 1 depression? I can't do SSRIs (they make me manic), and I'm diabetic already from the Abilify, so nothing that'll cause serious weight gain. And nothing that's overly sedating because I struggle with focus and staying awake as it is.

I will talk to my doctor about it. I just wondered if I already had some possibilities in mind when I mention it to her, if it would work better. Thanks bunches.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I'm hoping part of the reason I'm so miserable at work right now is that I'm in need of a med adjustment.

Current meds listed below.

~Wellbutrin: 450 mg/day

~Abilify: 20 mg/day

~Adderall: 20 mg/day

My options are to up the Abilify, up the Adderall, or try a small dose of something else. Any suggestions? I'ma kill these asshole callers if something doesn't pan out, lol.

Any suggestions for something to adjust or add on for Bipolar 1 depression? I can't do SSRIs (they make me manic), and I'm diabetic already from the Abilify, so nothing that'll cause serious weight gain. And nothing that's overly sedating because I struggle with focus and staying awake as it is.

I will talk to my doctor about it. I just wondered if I already had some possibilities in mind when I mention it to her, if it would work better. Thanks bunches.

I was on Abilify 20mg for many years.. also Lexapro 10mg. I have BPD and bipolar 2. My husband/best friend died in 2021, and I went numb.. I managed to numb the feelings... Aka self medicate, until 2022. Then I asked my Dr to increase my Abilify to 30mg. I can honestly say I have felt the most stable in, well.. years.

I've always been a BBW, so I never knew if weight gain was the meds, or just my poor habits.. compared to feeling ups and downs, I prefer stability.

 

[BiBunny]

I was on Abilify 20mg for many years.. also Lexapro 10mg. I have BPD and bipolar 2. My husband/best friend died in 2021, and I went numb.. I managed to numb the feelings... Aka self medicate, until 2022. Then I asked my Dr to increase my Abilify to 30mg. I can honestly say I have felt the most stable in, well.. years.

I've always been a BBW, so I never knew if weight gain was the meds, or just my poor habits.. compared to feeling ups and downs, I prefer stability.

Yeah, I'm with you on this one. I'm big and have been for many years (thanks, Depo in college!), but I'd rather be fat, diabetic, and stable than the alternative.

I may just ask the doctor about increasing the Abilify. That'll probably be the easiest route. Thank you for your post!

 

[BiBunny]

I left a message with the doctor earlier today. I just got the automated text saying she had called me in an increase to my Abilify. So I have a 30 mg prescription for them now that I'll go pick up tomorrow.

What I'll do when the 30 mg stops working, I don't know. (30 is as high as they'll let you go, I think.) But if the increase from 10 to 20 is any indication, I'll have about three years to figure it out.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I left a message with the doctor earlier today. I just got the automated text saying she had called me in an increase to my Abilify. So I have a 30 mg prescription for them now that I'll go pick up tomorrow.

What I'll do when the 30 mg stops working, I don't know. (30 is as high as they'll let you go, I think.) But if the increase from 10 to 20 is any indication, I'll have about three years to figure it out.

I was on 20mg for years. Only been on 30mg for 1 year, but I've always loved Abilify since I first started it.
I'm in the same boat... After 30mg... Then what?
I hate starting new meds.. like many, I have tried all kinds.
But, I know meds are just a part of my journey to a better stability.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I left a message with the doctor earlier today. I just got the automated text saying she had called me in an increase to my Abilify. So I have a 30 mg prescription for them now that I'll go pick up tomorrow.

What I'll do when the 30 mg stops working, I don't know. (30 is as high as they'll let you go, I think.) But if the increase from 10 to 20 is any indication, I'll have about three years to figure it out.

There's a monthly Abilify shot. But idk if it's a higher dose.

 

[twister947]

“Mental illness” / “Mental health” are heavily promoted buzzwords that were rarely heard a decade or two ago.

That alone is enough to tell you that most of what is being said is pure BS.

It does keep people worried, seeing docs, and buying a lot of pills though. Maybe that’s the whole point.

I disagree.

 

[GlasDomDaddy]

“Mental illness” / “Mental health” are heavily promoted buzzwords that were rarely heard a decade or two ago.

That alone is enough to tell you that most of what is being said is pure BS.

It does keep people worried, seeing docs, and buying a lot of pills though. Maybe that’s the whole point.

I think there's a mix of improved diagnosis and BS going on.

Improved diagnoses like with Autism, that's fantastic. Years ago Autism wasn't really diagnosed here and autistic kids were essentially put in the corner and then into the welfare system.

But man the BS.... that drives me nuts.