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Mental Illness

Apologies for inappropriate post

Apologies for inappropriate post.
 
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Bramblethorn said:
It's fine, you didn't come across that way. Just interesting to hear about different people's experiences.



Way back when the web was young, rocks were soft, and web navigation technology was a lot less sophisticated, there was this thing called "webrings". People who had web pages about, say, garden gnomes, they'd create a "Garden Gnome Webring" where each person's page linked to the pages before & after them in the webring, so you could explore all those pages by clicking the "next in webring" button. Or if you click "next" and then "previous", you go back to the page where you started. (I don't remember if browsers even had Back buttons at that time, it was a while ago.)

I had some friends who wrote poetry, and one of them found that somebody had stolen her poetry and was passing it off as her own, let's call this person Angela. Angela had this website of "her" poetry and artwork, there were literally hundreds of pieces all on the same topic - let's pretend it was garden gnomes - but in very different styles. It was really obvious that she was stealing from dozens of different artists.

Her page showed she was part of the Garden Gnome Webring. But if I clicked "next", Angela didn't show as the "previous" link, and vice versa. When I checked the webring's master page, she wasn't listed as a member. So she'd set up these links to fake being part of the group. She also had a bunch of "award" banners, and when I checked the sites that gave out those awards, they didn't list Angela as a recipient - fake again.

So she'd constructed this really elaborate portfolio, none of it her own, faking membership in this social circle that she wasn't part of, faking awards that nobody had given her. It must've been a huge amount of work to go to, all the time knowing she wasn't the creator of this work, and yet clearly she was getting some sort of validation out of being praised for stuff she hadn't done. I try to avoid diagnosing other people's MH issues over the internet, or indeed in person, but clearly there was something badly broken there. And I've seen other Angelas since then, with the same kind of pattern of behaviour.

People are weird.
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I feel like I'm getting off-topic again, which I'm really bad for so I swear this will be the last thing I say.

This was just really interesting to me, because this last guy I had to go after, the one who put my shit up on reddit after he cropped out my sig- he was also doing it to other people. It was just like Angela, in that he wasn't just stealing from me, but from anyone he had commissioned from. When we contacted him he seemed to genuinely believe that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing.

And honestly, it wouldn't have bothered me that bad. The reason it was such a big pain in the ass is because he had comissioned me because he basically wanted me to copy something. He wanted a different artist's work but in my style. So I contacted the other artist and we worked out the contract in such a way that he could have it (he said he wanted it for his D&D group) but didn't even have publishing rights- let alone the right to edit out my sig and claim it as his own. So it wasn't actually just me, though it did piss me off, it was also the other person that I had worked with.

And again, he wasn't making a CENT. I still don't know what he was on about but it was, you know, a bad experience. And it wasn't the first time it had happened.

And just like Angela, he had a whole like, persona that he had cultivated around this stolen artwork. It was really weird. It was a wild ride.

And I feel like... we talked about this a little bit in the other thread- if you want a skill and you don't have it, like a creative skill, don't steal from other people, work on yourself. I think you were the one who pointed out that you don't have to pay for art school or writing school to bring your skill level up to where you want it to be. You can find tons of free resources. Like I loved my life drawing class and I don't think that online poses are a substitute, but it's something and it would be a good jumping off point. When I was a kid I would take works from my favorite artists and literally just copy them. Like I would sit there with my sketch pad and I would draw the same exact image, looking at it and just recreating it- which is blatant art theft but I was always very upfront about it. And I don't think there's ANYTHING wrong with that. If you want to learn to write by copying your favorite authors, then you can do that! Just... say it's fanfiction, you know?

Like as long as you say, "This is a redraw" I don't think that's a bad thing. The bad thing is uploading the original image and trying to pass it off as yours. I think- and I have no proof for this, it's just something I think- that even if you're doing exclusively redraws or fanfics, you will start to develop your own style. I feel like that's something that arises naturally. So I don't know why people don't just do that.

That's all I've got to say. I know it's off topic. I'm sorry. It was just bugging me because that guy in particular was so much like that Angela person just with a different medium.
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
Seriously?

Geeze, man. I know this is a porn site, but come on.

Not everything is about sex.
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What's extra great about that is that there is a real conversation there if you stretch it real hard, because some psyche meds do affect libido. It's not something I've really noticed, but it is a thing that a lot of people notice. Like it's a real side-effect.
 
CandiCame said:
What's extra great about that is that there is a real conversation there if you stretch it real hard, because some psyche meds do affect libido. It's not something I've really noticed, but it is a thing that a lot of people notice. Like it's a real side-effect.
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I'm painfully aware of that particular side effect.

Everything i've ever taken has killed my ability to orgasm within 24 hours.
 
Still trying to find a better psychiatrist and obtain an appoint ASAP while oldest adult child suffers withdrawals due to a non responsive psychiatrist.
 
FurryFury said:
Still trying to find a better psychiatrist and obtain an appoint ASAP while oldest adult child suffers withdrawals due to a non responsive psychiatrist.
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:(

Any update?


My oldest-at-home is on new meds, again. She sleeps all day and at night she lies on my bed and talks of suicide. Which isn't new at all, in fact it's become so common over the years that I've grown almost desensitized to it. She hasn't been on these meds long enough to know if they're going to work yet, but they've put her on atavan in addition to her anti-depressant, so i am holding my breath for an improvement over the next month.

She's begun seeing a psychologist, about which i am hopeful. in the meantime, i keep my fingers crossed, keep talking with her, keep telling her i love her, keep counting the days to her next appointments.
 
This week we go to an out of network doc who hopefully will do his damn job and things will then get better with the right meds and responsiveness.

What you are going through sounds so difficult. *HUGS* I'm hoping the meds did or will improve some?

Wild_Honey_66 said:
:(

Any update?


My oldest-at-home is on new meds, again. She sleeps all day and at night she lies on my bed and talks of suicide. Which isn't new at all, in fact it's become so common over the years that I've grown almost desensitized to it. She hasn't been on these meds long enough to know if they're going to work yet, but they've put her on atavan in addition to her anti-depressant, so i am holding my breath for an improvement over the next month.

She's begun seeing a psychologist, about which i am hopeful. in the meantime, i keep my fingers crossed, keep talking with her, keep telling her i love her, keep counting the days to her next appointments.
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So true!

PWilton said:
https://cdn04.bdsmlr.com/uploads/photos/2019/03/632086/bdsmlr-632086-9mQ0GYKjXM.jpg
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FurryFury said:
This week we go to an out of network doc who hopefully will do his damn job and things will then get better with the right meds and responsiveness.

What you are going through sounds so difficult. *HUGS* I'm hoping the meds did or will improve some?




So true!
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The suicidal thoughts seem to have eased, and it looks like the therapy is going to be a good thing. 👍

My meds are not cutting it by a long shot. I have an appt this Friday at which time i hope my Dr increases my doseage. Then i have to wait another six weeks before... you all know the drill.

Funny thing about depression, it seems to have a cumulative effect. The longer i go on insufficient meds, the further behind i feel I'm falling. It's hard to be patient as each aspect of treatment is worked out. It's a grueling process.
 
Stepping Away

Hey Lit friends. Some stuff in real life is making it necessary for me to step away from Lit for a while. Making this note in threads where I often post, so a couple of duplicates. “Live long and prosper”.

p.s. all the best to you who are struggling, my stepping away is related to this thread's theme.
 
This is fascinating reading. As I make my way through the answers, I wonder has a Dom/Domme ever felt the release of anxiety or built up negativity by taking that out on a willing submissive?
I hear a lot about the benefits from submissive and masochists but maybe I haven't reached an answer from a sadist or Top yet. I'll keep reading.
 
I understand. The doc we saw turned out to be one we all liked but the meds haven't helped enough or normalized in my oldest living at home "child" and/or the pollen is killing them. They are still suffering. We have hope though.

Wild_Honey_66 said:
The suicidal thoughts seem to have eased, and it looks like the therapy is going to be a good thing. 👍

My meds are not cutting it by a long shot. I have an appt this Friday at which time i hope my Dr increases my doseage. Then i have to wait another six weeks before... you all know the drill.

Funny thing about depression, it seems to have a cumulative effect. The longer i go on insufficient meds, the further behind i feel I'm falling. It's hard to be patient as each aspect of treatment is worked out. It's a grueling process.
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Understood. Real life keeps breaking into our fun time and our fantasy doesn't it?

PWilton said:
Hey Lit friends. Some stuff in real life is making it necessary for me to step away from Lit for a while. Making this note in threads where I often post, so a couple of duplicates. “Live long and prosper”.

p.s. all the best to you who are struggling, my stepping away is related to this thread's theme.
Click to expand...

Excellent question and I'd love to see some responses on the other side of the whip so to speak.

DominaLuna said:
This is fascinating reading. As I make my way through the answers, I wonder has a Dom/Domme ever felt the release of anxiety or built up negativity by taking that out on a willing submissive?
I hear a lot about the benefits from submissive and masochists but maybe I haven't reached an answer from a sadist or Top yet. I'll keep reading.
Click to expand...
 
Bramblethorn said:
...(Not going to get into a tangent about cultural appropriation here - it is a real thing, and it's a problem, but this isn't what it looks like.)...
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"There is neither Jew nor Greek, neither bound nor free, neither male nor female for you are all one in Jesus." -Galatians 3.28

We are all just people.

Lisa Ann
 
Migrated from the "Inquiring Minds" thread to avoid derailing:

Paul_Chance said:
I think that is one of the very powerful aspects of the Internet in general and forums where you interact with other people specifically. Over the years it has certainly exposed me to points of view that I have never considered before or experiences that I’ve never had.
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FWIW, one of the things I really like about this medium is that it shapes communication in a way that's important to me. I can talk to y'all without being expected to pick things up from your body language, or worrying about what anybody might be reading into mine. And if something's complicated, I can take whatever time I need to think it through, instead of being obliged to respond instantly.

Underline my fears advocacy of communication, communication, communication is A twin set of beliefs. First, I think that communication skills can be learned and taught, and second I think that everyone has the capacity to learn those skills. They certainly come easier to some people than other people for a wide variety of reasons, including underlying medical and health related issues, such as ASD.
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I think most things can be learned by most autistic folk, given time and a supportive environment. But I'd encourage people to think about how much effort autistic people (or other neuroatypicals) are expected to make adapting to neurotypical modes of communication, vs. how much effort NT people are expected to make adapting to ours.

For example, as a kid I avoided making eye contact and one of my primary-school teachers, Mr. S, was really bothered by this. He talked to my parents, told them that it made me look untrustworthy, and since then I've always understood that I need to make eye contact with people to reassure them. So now, when I'm talking to co-workers etc., part of my mind is occupied with monitoring how much eye contact I'm making, and keeping that within socially acceptable levels. It's kind of like having a background process running that requires a certain percentage of processing power - it's possible but it's not free, it reduces my capacity for other stuff.

Back then, the dynamic was basically "you're a weird kid, that's unpleasant for other people, you need to make an effort to be less weird for their comfort". I don't think any of us even considered that there was another option, that maybe Mr. S could just accept that my body language was different to other kids and that lack of eye contact didn't mean anything. I don't recall any discussion about my comfort.

I don't even know if Mr. S is still alive; he wasn't a young man when he taught me, and it's been decades. But even decades later, I still observe the habit that I was expected to learn for the sake of his comfort. By now it's so deeply ingrained that it's hard to switch off... but it's still not comfortable to me, and it still distracts me from the stuff I want to focus on, and I'm always worrying about whether I've missed something.

(The other day I saw somebody explaining that one of her rules for filtering job applicants was that she'd only hire people who sent a thank-you letter after interviewing. This is the kind of stuff that clobbers me from out of the blue - I would have failed that test, because that's never been part of the culture where I've worked, and I wouldn't have picked up that it was expected in hers. NT people read so much into tiny things.)

The way I sometimes explain it to people is: suppose, every time you wanted to interact with somebody, you were required to solve a crossword puzzle. Over time you'd probably get pretty good with crosswords, you might even learn to enjoy them. But it's still a kind of tax every time you want to talk, and sometimes you just don't have the energy. As I age, I'm finding myself tired so often, and this stuff is part of why. I spend social energy emulating neurotypical communication modes... and then I don't have enough left over to keep up with my friends, stuff that's important to my health.

Even here, in a medium that's relatively friendly to me, with a friendly and accepting bunch of Internet Sex Perverts... there are a lot of times when I start writing a post and then give it up because I want to say something in a discussion, but I can't be arsed doing the crossword puzzle. (And if y'all think my posts are verbose, which you probably do, that's also part of it - keeping things terse while still being clear in my meaning is hard.)

Communication is important and we do need to learn to adapt to one another's modes of thinking. But I feel like that effort could be spread more evenly between the square pegs and the round pegs.
 
And if something's complicated, I can take whatever time I need to think it through, instead of being obliged to respond instantly.
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God, yes. :rolleyes:

Complicated for me = requires a lot of emotional energy to process.
 
The real treat is when you don't give a flying fuck as what they are feeling in reaction to your actions. Who cares what they think.... im happy, doing my business,,, why the fuck cant they do the same?

the "odd" dude, is doing his work... while the normal ones are eating used chewing gum out of the urinal and the other norms think its ok..
 
Stag of Oberon said:
I wanted to talk a little more about high functioning autism; a diagnosis a close friend had as a child in a previous epoch...
(He's old)

Apparently under DSM3 "high functioning" meant that you had some of the problems associated with something but not enough for a full diagnosis. They have since eschewed allowing this vague language.

When the autism scale was introduced in DSM4 with Asperger's separate; a few people with "high functioning" fit into Aspergers, which was not part of autism until "scale" was switched to "spectrum." A lot of people, like my friend, just didn't have sufficient symptoms or challenges to fit a diagnosis for either. As he puts it, he "fell off" the spectrum.

"Mild Asperger's" happens to fit perfectly into the diagnosis for ADD at that time, and that's exactly what happened to him. He declined to have his identity re-arranged like that, and decided he just didn't need help if that were the case. I used to have very little sympathy for him on the subject, until pretty much the same thing happened to me when ADD became lumped in with ADHD in DSM5.

After a lifetime of correcting people that I'm ADD not ADHD, my diagnosis is "ADHD focus type". It's all the more infuriating because ADD tends to be less problematic, thus flies under people's radar, and as such anyone familiar with the term ADHD has some very insulting preconceptions of what ADHD means and what to expect from me.
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My partner had a similar situation to your friend: she was "Asperger's" back when that was a separate DSM category, she got comfortable with that label, and then it got folded back into "autism". I think a lot of other Aspies were equally unhappy with the change - and, yeah, changing the label doesn't change who we are as people, but it still has consequences in terms of how we may be treated/stereotyped, and Aspies/autistic people aren't exactly famous for our ability to cope well with change...

I remember a few years back, Australia Post changed the postcode for a particular district. I assume the change made sense for mail distribution, but the locals whose postcode changed were very unhappy about it, because their insurance rates went up. It wasn't that their neighbourhood had changed at all, but insurance companies assess risks by postcode, and now these people were part of a high-crime postcode instead of a low-crime one.

I think some of the discussion about autism/Asperger's classifications comes down to the postcode game. People wanting to classify things in a way that gets them/their kids into a less stigmatised category, or people trying to get into a category that will qualify for things like disability support. (As noted in the other thread, I don't like applying "disability"/"disorder" labels to myself. But if I ever need to request workplace accommodations, legally that's categorised as a "disability" issue so I will need to put it in those terms and produce a diagnosis that pathologises me. Grumble.)

I realized I was fixating vainly on skills that never served me, partially as a procrastinative distraction from a miserable study of Linux. I did not continue this conversation at that time largely because I needed to redirect my energies, and not since because it's been fucking impossible to get information about the contents of older DSMs.
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I remember having that same problem in that discussion. It's the kind of stuff you'd THINK would be on line somewhere, but the best I could find was a few "what's changed" logs.

Turns out my mom (a RN) had hard copies of 3 and 4.

I wanted to express gratitude that you spoke up then, Bramblethorn. Even as vexing as it was; it helped.
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I appreciate you saying this. :rose:

Stag of Oberon said:
Talking about emotive reactions in that other thread; I've come to realize that my facial reactions to a lot of things are performative. I know what reactions people would like to see, and instinctively do them with very little effort. But I don't really feel surprised ect. When my reactions are genuine, they're very often muted, because I don't have a chance to anticipate the need to perform.
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Yep. I find it hard to gauge exactly where the difference lies between performance that's become an unconscious habit, and natural reaction, but I think there is one.
 
Stag of Oberon said:
Not to go all conspiracy theorist but I came to realize that information from previous DSMs has been scrubbed from the internet. Including from wikipedia. The last time the subject of sociopathy came up (many years ago) I was able to link three sources including wikipedia; now there's nothing.
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If you have the old URLs, the Internet Archive might have something: https://archive.org/web/web.php

Doesn't record everything, but I'm frequently amazed at how much it does keep.
 
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