Men writing women

[dgnr8469]

Ok so I'm about to embark on what I am hoping will be a new series of stories and when it came time to decide on whose point of view I wanted to take or have my main character be, I stopped for a moment and thought about it.

Most of my stories have been from the male perspective. The male has been telling the story or is the central character. But for the first time, I'm entertaining the idea of writing from the female perspective.

Can anyone offer some insight or suggestions for how I might go about this?

Much appreciation in advance....

 

[Guest]

I'm curious about this too

 

[Guest]

Writing from a woman's perspective.

It is an interesting concept. Way back when, curious to see how well a story written by a woman as opposed to a similar story written by a man would do, I embarked on what was then a curious adventure just to see what results (if any) there would be.

Now...I won't say which stories I wrote under a different Lit name (and yes) they still exist....but what I discovered was that written from a female POV wasn't as easy as I initially thought it would be. My first couple of stories didn't do well at all. Not content to call or consider that an accurate "test" as it were, I tried again, writing more with the "femine" side most guys DO have, letting it all out as it were. It was difficult, trying to imagine a sexual situation with a "man" lol...from a woman's POV. Not only was it a bit unusual, but as I came to appreciate, a bit unnerving as well.

Interestingly enough...I recieved a substantial number of feedback emails (mostly from men) who loved my writing. I quit writing under that name however as I didn't want (seriously) to mislead anyone, especially as my writing here at Lit under Thesandman began to improve, and the readership began to truly enjoy my stories.

It was simply an interesting exercise that did reveal (I think) that women writers here at Lit have a slight "edge" when it comes down to it. Not enough to be a major difference mind you. Which simply meant for me, as a man...I needed to write a better story than I had been. In a strange way, I think it helped me to do just that.

The long and the short of it is. Write from the POV you're most familiar with. IF you want to try it from a female POV...then be prepared to slip into the nylon stockings, the usually uncomfortable bra...and take the pins out of your hair and let it down. Who knows...it might just work.

I remain,

 

[jfinn]

Melvin Udall: Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
As Good As It Gets, 1997

No, I don't really believe that, but I thought I'd toss it in before someone else did.

Actually I do the opposite of what you want to do. I'm a woman who generally writes from a male pov. But when I do write about woman characters I notice that they're much more likely to express themselves emotionally than their male counterparts and also to obsess over how the other person is feeling. And with the male pov stories I have a couple of guy friends read what I've written to see if it sounds realistic.

Other than that I don't really do much different.

Jayne

 

[TheEarl]

I actually have a very female mind and a lot of my stories are told from a female perspective. I have had feedback from people who are convinced I'm a woman before, or at least gay.

IMHE, women generally want to know what a character is thinking in a story, whereas men prefer to know what a character is doing.

It's a bit difficult to define what you need to do. I don't know how I do it when I get it right, I just know that it works. Just try writing from a feminine POV. Then find a female editor who will take you through anything major you've got wrong.

The Earl

 

[psiberzerker]

I write from the POV of both sexes, and then some. The problems I've found with writing as the oposite sex where delt with largely by research. If you know a girl who's personality, and ideals are similar to your character's, then that is the perfect place to start.
I find myself in that position a lot because a lot of my freinds end up in my stories. If you can get into their heads, then you can add their thoughts to your character's. Don't be afraid to ask, they'll probably be flattered.

 

[pop_54]

Hi

I cheat if I want a woman's eye view, I ask the wife.

Seriously if I feel the need to describe a womans feelings during sex, or emotional feelings before or after, darling wifey gets a call.

I try to avoid too much writing from the female side, but it is important to take the female emotions etc into account.

pops...........

 

[MathGirl]

Oh, sure.

it is important to take the female emotions etc into account.
pops...........

Dear Pop,
That attitude certainly won't win you many points with everyone else in the male race.
MG

 

[pop_54]

Re: Oh, sure.

Dear Pop,
That attitude certainly won't win you many points with everyone else in the male race.
MG

Just my feminine side coming out dear, now where did I put that feather duster, Ohh look at the mess on here.

On a serious note, if my lack of points with the male race helps me with the female race, who's complaining, wink, wink.

pops.............

 

[Sabledrake]

I enjoy the challenge of writing from a male POV. Especially erotica. It's interesting to see if I can convey what a man is experiencing, when it's never something I've personally experienced myself.

Perhaps the biggest challenge I got was once when I -- straight human female -- wrote a sex scene from the POV of a gay gargoyle male. Not much I had in common with that character, but it was a lot of fun.

It helps for me to have a guy read the story first, before it's posted, and tell me if it works. So, for a male attempting to write a female POV, I'd suggest something similar.

Sabledrake
going on vacation; back in a week and a half

 

[openthighs_sarah]

These are my characters, and they'll feel and think whatever the hell I want them to feel and think. They've never complained.

I figure I'll hear about it if I ever screw up really bad. ("You don't know anything about men, gargoyles, vampires, etc.") It helps, I think, if you don't pretend that your character's emotions represent the gender (or species, I guess) as a whole: it's just your character. If you try to create truly generic men (or women), you end up alienating the really interesting men and women who are reading your story, anyway -- they're not generic, so they may not empathize. (Those are the readers I want.)

And if your character happens to be ruled by different phsyiological principles than the rest of the gender or species, so be it.

 

[psiberzerker]

I spend a lot of time on characterization, get to know them, and think what they would do. I'm often surprised by what that turns out to be.
Ultimately, a narrative has to be true to the character, so you really have to know them. If you manage to get the reader to know them, than you suceeded in entertaining them.

 

[dgnr8469]

Great input so far

Wow! Thanks for sharing everyone! Really given me some stuff to think about. If you have anymore ideas, please feel free to post.

 

[Dirt Man]

POV Female vs Male...

I've written from every POV possible, and for me I've learned that the character leads me to write their way. It's really hard to put into words, but no two people, male, female, or otherwise are exactly alike, similarities to the contrary. LOL Writing from the male POV seems to be more sense-ually stimulating, while from the female POV more emotionally responsive. But again, it just depends on the characters themselves. Unlike Melvine Udall I don't take away reason or accountability as they are inherent to us all in different degrees depending on how we were brought up by our parents, and how we handled peer pressures then, and now. By saying men are from Mars, and women are from Venus is a purely assinine statement, and one that guarentees an on going war between the sexes that only exists if we let it. We all know the plumbing is different, and therefore causes us to think differently on certain subjects, but I think it's time to call a truce, and look at what we have in common instead.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[lobito]

While it helps to know something about women, even a little bit, it's a hit or miss thing in reality.

I had one person argue with me, over whether or not I am a female, because they liked the way I wrote a particular story. Meaning they thought I was a woman from the way it was written, but when informed I wasn't a female, they argued with me.

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

I was worried about posting my lesbian story because, dammit, what do I know about lesbian sex!? So I wrote what I thought was right, and let some girls read it. In fact they all gave me some constructive criticism, about the story, use of language, plot etc, but made no mention of the characterisation or sex scenes.

Which said to me that they were either so bad they thought I'd only put them in to indicate there would be a sex scene there later, or that they were good enough not to need any mention.

My advice is write it, and let a woman read it. If it's false, she'll know.

ax

 

[sweetnpetite]

Melvin Udall: Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
As Good As It Gets, 1997

No, I don't really believe that, but I thought I'd toss it in before someone else did.

Jayne

he, he, I got one. "I could be a man. I just have to forget everything I know about common sence and decency."

ok, sorry if that offends anyone, its just something I came up with a couple of years ago and seemed a good counterpoint. (and I have never seen as good as it gets)

 

[sweetnpetite]

While it helps to know something about women, even a little bit, it's a hit or miss thing in reality.

I had one person argue with me, over whether or not I am a female, because they liked the way I wrote a particular story. Meaning they thought I was a woman from the way it was written, but when informed I wasn't a female, they argued with me.

that's funny. i hada reader ask if i was really a girl. They thought my story sounded like the fantasy of a male virgin. (It was a guy who said that) but he didn't argue when i assured him that yes i was a "girl" I didn't really mind. I guess i'm easily amused

 

[sweetnpetite]

I might piss somebody off, but here is my opinion. And I don't mean it in any disrepsectful or negative way. Yes it is a generalization as well, but here goes:

Women are complicated.
Men are simple.

I really believe that for the most part, this is true. Women are always complaining that men are so complicated, but they are usually overthinking. I believe that this is the main reason we can't figure each other out.

THis information may or may not apply in a sex story, but I think it does. I'll give an example:

Man:wants to get off

Woman: wants to get off, likees the feeling of doing something "dirty" may even like being "degraded" for the purpose of getting off, but really wants to feel cherished. She may want him to call her a whore, but she doesnt want to think that he really feels that way about her. maybe she doesnt care what he thinks, but still cares about what she thinks of herself. also usualy wants him to get off. may want to prove that she's desireable or irrisitable. may want to rebell against social norms or family standards. may feel conflict over what she enjoys and what she is supposed to enjoy. may enjoy being "forced" to enjoy herself, or may feel that she has to hold on to her sence of independance here as anywhere else. may have memories of abuse or fears, could be the kinkiest girl in the world but refuses to be "pinned" or insists on being on the top....


ok thats enough. admitedly all of my own stories don't have an abundance of character development but I think when you write the other side you have to pay more attention to the mechanics. Some men do write good women, and some men have an appreciation for women that comes through no matter what side they write. Try reading a lot of stories by women from the female pov, and see if you feel like you can understand and appreciate the female characters. If so, you might be able to write them

Good luck

 

[curious2c]

I have written several stories, and in them I try to remember my sisters and their feelings and 'talk'. I then try to remember highschool and how girls acted and reacted, then, after I have done what I can in that respect, I write.

I have gotten feedback...some like this one in particular...
"Why is it that you women always have to be happy in the end."

Since I am a male of the species...I guess he (I am assuming that it was a male due to some other comments made by 'him') figured that I was a female author.

My stories have an 'edge' to them...some are uncomfortable reading them, have even mentioned that they skip over some parts. I usually get good comments and it seems that I am doing the female perspective just about as expected to be. I hope to get better at it someday...hard to put myself in that different of shoes as I write.

 

[RoughPlay]

I might piss somebody off, but here is my opinion. And I don't mean it in any disrepsectful or negative way. Yes it is a generalization as well, but here goes:

Women are complicated.
Men are simple.

I agree with this.

 

[Dirt Man]

Women aren't all that complicated...

In fact they want the same things that men want. They just want to be able to discuss the flavor, texture, and richness to death after eating their share of the chocolate ice cream to make the experiance that much more memorable to them is all.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[Guest]

 

[TrinaT]

I cheat if I want a woman's eye view, I ask the wife.

Seriously if I feel the need to describe a womans feelings during sex, or emotional feelings before or after, darling wifey gets a call.

I try to avoid too much writing from the female side, but it is important to take the female emotions etc into account.

pops...........

Pops, I agree with you here. I'm currently working on a piece from both male and female POV (a new style for me) and find myself constantly run out to hubby and discuss a senerio before pounding the keyboard. I have read many stories with author being male, POV female; they are well written, capturing the female element.

Having either male or female friends to read a work in process helps to get the POV as accurate as possible.

Trina T.

 

[dgnr8469]

Thanks bunches for the input everyone!

I've been mapping out the general idea of how I want things to progress plot wise in the meanwhile, but I'm still giving a lot of consideration to just whose POV I am going to take. You all have given me a lot to think about...

Please feel free to keep the advice coming in!