Men on what it's like to be aroused

[NotWise]

Stickygirl asked if there would be a thread on men equivalent to Women on What it's like to be aroused and several readers agreed. So I started one rather than piggy-backing on the original thread.

For me, arousal starts with signals from a woman that she's interested. Touch and scent, a "willing" smile, and engaging conversation all produce good signals. I'm not real prone to be aroused by appearance. I find visual things like deep cleavage, nice hair or a shapely butt to be attractive and attention-getting but they aren't the most important stimuli for me.

My first effects from becoming aroused are growing muscle tension and hightened senses -- especially touch and smell. Those effects increase with increasing arousal. The erection comes along at about the same size, and it's impossible to overlook. Attention to anything but the sensations eventually becomes almost impossible.

Now I dare some guy to come up with a self-analysis as detailed and interesting as Erozetta's.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Stickygirl asked if there would be a thread on men equivalent to Women on What it's like to be aroused and several readers agreed. So I started one rather than piggy-backing on the original thread.

Now I dare some guy to come up with a self-analysis as detailed and interesting as Erozetta's.

I certainly can't write to the level of Erozetta's probably unsurpassed description of female arousal.

But for me (at least from the exterior) for male arousal, it's the very subtle visual, tactile, and auditory signals which arouse. The sight of the curve of the side of a woman's breast. The light touch of her finger on the wrong (or right) part of my chest ... or lower. The low whisper of her voice expressing her desires near my ear.

I say that's from the exterior, because there are times when the hormones are peaking (sometimes daily) when almost any sight of my wife just bending over to pick something up is erotic. But then again, that might be the visual of the curve of her ass, ... and she always looks over her shoulder to see if I notice.

The arousal is the uncomfortable feeling in my pants which require me to "adjust" myself, sometimes during socially inappropriate times. The worst clothes every invented for men are tight briefs and jeans with pockets sown on the outside, which prevent me from subtly adjusting myself or keeping a hand in my pocket to obscure the bulge.

 

[y=mx+b]

For me it is a simple want for physical intimate closeness.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

According to a CBS News story from 2011, "men thought about sex 19 times per day." I believe that's worded wrong, at least it is for me. I believe I'm reminded about sex 19 times a day. The world conspires to give me a reason to remember the thrill of sex at least 19 times a day.

It's funny how it can start, and please bear in mind, it often ends as quickly as it began. We can easily start with the obvious reasons, something as mundane as yoga pants or a shapely curve. Yes, those things work, but (yawn), it's so commonplace that it deserves little reason to be mentioned - except for this:

Few women have any idea of their ability to be endless alluring and attractive to the eyes of a man. Your body shape has very little to do with it. Quite often, it has nothing to do with the size of your breasts or the shapeliness of your backside. For example, I have found myself smitten by the curve of a slender neck when she turns her head just so . . . and that exposed neck just begs for a gentle kiss and the flick of a tongue.

For me, arousal usually begins with a longing to touch and caress, perhaps to lick and taste. It's a desire to appreciate and savor, to delight in hopes of thereby being delighted. Seeing that wayward gaze aimed at me. To be the reason for that lilting laughter that catches in her throat as she catches my double entendre and genuinely considers it.

The physical sensations of being aroused have been described (ad nauseam, perhaps) in my many stories. There's an aching need for attention. Where a woman longs to be penetrated, this man longs to be engulfed - by your hand, your mouth, or . . .

Yes, men's faces flush and their nipples grow hard. We share many signs of arousal between the genders. However, at the end of the day, my arousal is apparent to all. It's displayed outside my body to be loved, judged, accepted, or rejected. It has become the focal point of my excitement, so obvious in its meaning that displaying an erect penis changes the meaning of a work of art and trivializes it as "erotic."

When you hold my erection in your . . . hand? mouth? . . . you hold the very essence of my virality. Your ability to welcome it as something more than "my dick," but as "me" is important.

With that said, as a dick-centric man, I am lying about all of this. Treasure my little guy (without ever calling him little), but if you truly want to make a difference, climb inside my head. Fuck with the big, sexy organ between my ears. If you can't do that, then caress the rest of my body, too. Ooo and ahh over my muscular legs, my strong chest, or just play with my balls, damn it.

And if none of that works for you, just give me a hug. Touch my arm. Put your hand on my shoulder or caress my back. Lean your head against my shoulder and let me smell the conditioner you used. If you touch my thigh, I'll probably think you want me. The sad truth of the matter is that most men - nearly all men are touch-deprived. I was reminded of this not long ago in a strip club where a dancer approached me from behind with a caress across my shoulders. I melted from her touch and I had yet to see her face.

Perhaps that helps?

 

[SimonDoom]

My random thoughts on this subject.

First, arousal very often is provoked by something visual, and it can be something very simple, very commonplace. This morning I was walking to a Starbucks and I saw a woman come out of a Mexican restaurant with a cropped top, and it was obvious she wore no bra, and it was instantly arousing. That's all it took. I know that for me and for some other men I've talked to there is an almost Pavlovian reaction to certain visual images, and this was one of them.

There definitely is a sense that arousal is centered in the loins--the reaction that Mike Myers's SNL Wayne's World skit captured with the word "schwing!" I guess for women the analog is becoming wet; for men it's becoming hard. That is definitely a thing. Sometimes it doesn't take much.

There's also a sudden feeling of magnified alertness--of someone suddenly in view to be pursued. I think for many men that element of pursuit is a big part of arousal. It is for me. It's like you're an animal in the jungle, just minding your business, and all of a sudden someone catches your attention. All the senses are elevated. Sight, especially, but everything else, too. If you are aroused by a woman, the touch of her skin is electric. The scent of her hair is like roses. The taste of her lips is like sugar. She can have an annoying voice, but if you are aroused by her, it will sound like sweet music.

I think men can sometimes get a little stupid when they are aroused. Like the blood is flowing away from the brain, to somewhere else. Men can say and do dumb things when they are aroused, like be too obvious in the way they look at the object of their arousal.

 

[Lifestyle66]

There's also a sudden feeling of magnified alertness--of someone suddenly in view to be pursued.

My first take on this thread was "what does it take to arouse."

But this is more what it feels like when aroused.

In that case, it's a hunger or thirst to DO SOMETHING to relieve the distress! I NEED to do SOMETHING to feel sated. And that hunger is focused down there where it NEEDS to explode. When highly aroused, my body is tensed with my muscles antsy to do something to relieve the tension. A friend of mine felt the NEED to RUN, and he would run for miles without stopping, or get on a motorcycle and drive at high speeds trying to to achieve an adrenalin rush to relieve the stress. When confined by social conventions and unable to DO anything about it, we pace and our hands clench like a trapped animal. I feel like grabbing something, and squeezing or punching something. It's a muscle tension which can't be willed away, but must lash out to burn off the pent-up energy!

The warm wet caresses of the woman I (or my friend) desired makes the feeling rise like the fluid in a thermometer, until it reaches the top, then BURSTS out! Then ... it's gone ... within seconds ... the hunger is completely gone and the tensions relaxed.


Now, add those animal tensions to my description above of the very subtle things it takes to arouse me, and we have a volatile mix.

 

[stickygirl]

Thanks for starting this NotWise and I know it'll make interesting reading

 

[Kitt_e_Katt_za]

What I would be interested in knowing, is what it feels like for a man to orgasm, do we share similar sensations?
Most men that I have spoken to can never quantify the feeling, maybe that is the answer

 

[ElectricBlue]

My take on this is a story (with the worst sub-title ever):

https://literotica.com/s/the-gift-turning-pages-ch-03

 

[Lifestyle66]

What I would be interested in knowing, is what it feels like for a man to orgasm, do we share similar sensations?
Most men that I have spoken to can never quantify the feeling, maybe that is the answer

It feels as if my thrusts are pushing the fluid up in a thermometer. As the level rises, the "need" increases to thrust harder, until it reaches the top of my little head, then it BURSTS out!

Then ... DONE! ... the tension vanished ... within seconds even before the spasms subside ... the hunger is completely gone and I'm just waiting for the final drips to end and to soften.

That's when my logical brain clicks back on and starts analyzing the scene to decide the best way ahead to make this happen again.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

According to a CBS News story from 2011, "men thought about sex 19 times per day." I believe that's worded wrong, at least it is for me. I believe I'm reminded about sex 19 times a day. The world conspires to give me a reason to remember the thrill of sex at least 19 times a day.

<snip>

And here I thought and heard that men think about sex 19 times a minute? Or was that an hour? Or was that goldfish?

Arousal for me, starts with what I always look at on a woman first, her eyes. Pretty eyes will get me interested in the rest of her in a big hurry. Yet, if the eyes are just eyes, then her face, the second thing that I look at that will get my engine going. And if the face is one that could launch a thousand ships, I find no need to go any farther.

But, this is about arousal. My, arousal, not hers. Of course, she must have a nice body. Men are visual creatures. If a man says he isn't, he's lying or just trying to get you in bed. A body that has that classic shape that all women try to get, the hourglass shape. And breasts, yet if the eyes and face are a winner, breast don't matter to much for me. But, they must be able to sit on the chest on there own. I guess what I'm trying to say is large breasts really don't arouse me, yet can be over looked with a great set of eyes and a pretty face.

Will, I be aroused enough to try and get her into bed with me? Sometime I'm trying, back in my youth, just from her face alone. If I making love to her, the only thing I will be looking at is her eyes and face. The rest although useful and nice to be with is almost irrelevant as I stare into her pretty eyes and kiss her beautiful face and lips.

 

[NotWise]

What I would be interested in knowing, is what it feels like for a man to orgasm, do we share similar sensations?
Most men that I have spoken to can never quantify the feeling, maybe that is the answer

From what I've read, men's and women's orgasms are very similar, except that men's orgasms are usually accompanied by ejaculation. We are, after all, more similar than we are different.

 

[SimonDoom]

What I would be interested in knowing, is what it feels like for a man to orgasm, do we share similar sensations?
Most men that I have spoken to can never quantify the feeling, maybe that is the answer

I can't quantify it, but I can try to describe it. I imagine it's not too different from the way a woman feels, but there's the element of ejaculation. There's a feeling of pressure welling up inside, and right at the end an almost desperate need to release. The release itself is an exquisite sensation. It's not really like any other sensation I can think of. The closest thing I've experienced is the finish of a race, where one pushes oneself to the finish with all one's might and exertion, and there's a feeling of release and satisfaction when one crosses the finish line. It's not quite the same but it's the closest thing I can think of.

 

[stickygirl]

From what I've read, men's and women's orgasms are very similar, except that men's orgasms are usually accompanied by ejaculation. We are, after all, more similar than we are different.

Our brains have been shown to display quite different levels of activation during arousal men v women, but the differences in activity are less marked during orgasm. I'd argue that there's more to it than positron emission topography but some folks are kinky for that kinda thing. I'd say the orgasm experience was different, because there's more to arousal than orgasm.

It is one of these topics where lines are blurred, with lots of greys between the extremes of experience. There are generally accepted patterns between the sexes that are typical in arousal. For example men run with visual stimuli first and sometimes exclusively. Women are going to check out a guys bum from 50 paces, but once we're closer we'll quickly modify that initial attraction with a load of other markers that a guy might not, particularly if he is still trying to look down her cleavage.

I would expect authors who write about sex to have their thoughts better organised than the average person in the street. It's still useful to read and share each other's experiences.

 

[yowser]

I would expect authors who write about sex to have their thoughts better organised than the average person in the street. It's still useful to read and share each other's experiences.

Thoughtful comments.

A quicksand question, all the more difficult since it is intriguing.

In my experience, many males’ arousals resemble particle physics interactions, with instant elemental attractions, extreme hydraulics and at some stage the irresistible need for the dam to burst.

Woman are more apt to read the introduction, even look at the index, decide before reading further, with more appreciation for the anticipation of it all. Many men like to get to page 112 as soon as possible. Mileage varies enormously, but the best arousals are often careful chapters in long books, with the same characters, who know themselves very well and how best to elicit pleasure in each other.

 

[stickygirl]

Thoughtful comments.

A quicksand question, all the more difficult since it is intriguing.

In my experience, many males’ arousals resemble particle physics interactions, with instant elemental attractions, extreme hydraulics and at some stage the irresistible need for the dam to burst.

I've never thought of the Freudian side to Tolkein's works

 

[Lovecraft_Lore]

It is like a massive bowel movement. Thoughts about it quickly become all-consuming. The need to take care of the urge becomes almost painful. Then the guy takes care of it and 30 seconds later it is completely forgotten.

 

[y=mx+b]

It is like a massive bowel movement. Thoughts about it quickly become all-consuming. The need to take care of the urge becomes almost painful. Then the guy takes care of it and 30 seconds later it is completely forgotten.

You know. This is pretty damn accurate. And it happens daily* just the same.

*sometimes more depending on what's been consumed.

 

[lovecraft68]

Wahhh we needed a thread too! Just kidding

A breathing woman walking by and sort of kind of, looking his way would do it for most guys here, but they're going to pretend its deeper than that.

Simon's first line about its often visual is pretty much where it begins and ends. Its far more about what we see than feel. Of course I'm not talking about being aroused with your partner who there are emotional ties and affection and memories of great times and wanting more, but I'm speaking of in general we're very basic, we don't think ourselves into being aroused we're reactionary, big head says "look at that!" lower head responds.
Anything else is blowing smoke to sound less shallow than we are when it comes to this topic.