Men Faking It

[Pure]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life...ips/the-big-o-men-fake-it-too/article1813827/

The big O: Men fake it too

ZOSIA BIELSKI

From Friday's Globe and Mail

Published Thursday, Nov. 25, 2010 3:00PM EST

They don’t scream affirmatives, call out to God or whip their hair around like a tornado. Then we’d know they were faking it.

But men fake orgasms too, for myriad reasons – not least of which is sparing their partner’s ego
.
A recent University of Kansas study of nearly 300 college-age men and women found that 28 per cent of the men had faked an orgasm during intercourse.

Why? Many knew a climax wasn’t in the cards. They were seeking to end the sex without hurting a partner’s feelings, the authors write in the study, published in the November issue of the Journal of Sex Research.

Beyond the why’s are the how’s: Wearing a condom helps to conceal the evidence (or lack thereof), as does an audible sigh – hardly the theatrics of Meg Ryan’s Sally Albright in the infamous deli scene in When Harry Met Sally.
And while Sally digs into her coleslaw with a smirk after faking a colossal orgasm at the table, there is a clear double standard, with male faking viewed as more duplicitous than the female variety.

“Women can kind of see the humorous side of faking it. It will never be a point of pride for any guy,” says James Bassil, editor-in-chief of lifestyle website AskMen.com. “They see their inability to climax as a reflection of their masculinity. It’s caveman stuff, which is why we don’t admit it to each other at work.”

For its 2010 Great Male Survey, AskMen.com asked more than 100,000 men if they had faked an orgasm during intercourse. An average of 16 per cent said they had done it repeatedly; an additional 14 per cent admitted to faking, but just once.“For the most part, it’s not finishing on time or taking too long,” Mr. Bassil says, noting that readers also said they will do it when they “finish too early and are embarrassed to show it.”

 

[OzoneRed]

I once heard a stand-up comic, I don't remember her name, say that all men who fake orgasms have one thing in common.

"They all have very, very, stupid wives and girlfriends."

 

[sr71plt]

I'd be interested in knowing how they faked the erection--other than pills, I guess.

 

[Dual_Triode]

I can't say that I've ever faked an orgasm to end a sexual encounter. I have, however, faked not having one when premature ejaculation occurred. Now days, I just simply tell my spouse it's not happening. More about this in a minute.

For me, they key seems to be waiting until both of us are ready and willing. That way nobody has to fake a climax.

I'd be interested in knowing how they faked the erection--other than pills, I guess.

I learned some interesting things about male physiology after surgery for prostate cancer. The surgeons used the state-of-the-art robotic tools and successfully preserved the nerve connections. Spontaneous erections took about a year to reoccur. I was surprised to learn that there is a physical therapy for this - really. Regular use of Viagra and a vacuum pump provided the necessary vascular and tissue therapy while the nerves were healing. Now that my recovery is complete, I have normal erections, with and without Viagra. While Viagra is not absolutely necessary, it is sometimes convenient.

Here is the interesting part. The physical response of climax is separate and distinct from ejaculation or achieving and maintaining an erection. When they remove the prostate gland, they also remove the seminal vesicles and the vas deferens. So, when an orgasm occurs, the groin muscles contract, but there is no semen to ejaculate. It feels pretty weird at first, but you get used to it. Another thing I've experienced is that I can have an orgasm without an erection. I discovered this during some unauthorized physical therapy. Even now, I can actually achieve a second or third orgasm after the first, erection accompanied, "normal" orgasm. So, the multiple orgasm response is apparently not limited to females.

~Dual

 

[scriptordelecto]

I can't say that I've ever faked an orgasm to end a sexual encounter. I have, however, faked not having one when premature ejaculation occurred. Now days, I just simply tell my spouse it's not happening. More about this in a minute.

For me, they key seems to be waiting until both of us are ready and willing. That way nobody has to fake a climax.



I learned some interesting things about male physiology after surgery for prostate cancer. The surgeons used the state-of-the-art robotic tools and successfully preserved the nerve connections. Spontaneous erections took about a year to reoccur. I was surprised to learn that there is a physical therapy for this - really. Regular use of Viagra and a vacuum pump provided the necessary vascular and tissue therapy while the nerves were healing. Now that my recovery is complete, I have normal erections, with and without Viagra. While Viagra is not absolutely necessary, it is sometimes convenient.

Here is the interesting part. The physical response of climax is separate and distinct from ejaculation or achieving and maintaining an erection. When they remove the prostate gland, they also remove the seminal vesicles and the vas deferens. So, when an orgasm occurs, the groin muscles contract, but there is no semen to ejaculate. It feels pretty weird at first, but you get used to it. Another thing I've experienced is that I can have an orgasm without an erection. I discovered this during some unauthorized physical therapy. Even now, I can actually achieve a second or third orgasm after the first, erection accompanied, "normal" orgasm. So, the multiple orgasm response is apparently not limited to females.

~Dual

I am utterly fascinated....

 

[3113]

I'd be interested in knowing how they faked the erection--other than pills, I guess.

I presume they didn't fake the erection, just the final act of coming. Maybe I'm reading that wrong, but it sounds like intercourse kept them stimulated enough to stay erect, but they just weren't getting to the mountaintop. Or, perhaps, their partner has already come and was looking bored and they knew it was going to take a while yet for them to come, so they cut it short. Yes? No?

Once they'd shouted out, they could pull out and, if they were wearing a condom, say that sex was the best ever

 

[Ellafun]

I've actually had this happen to me. At the time, I assumed he was just trying to be courteous, or just had too many stimulants. I wasn't insulted...nor did I feel stupid. I felt bad for him...he just wanted to please me. He never lost his erection, (so believe me, I wasn't complaining), but he didn't ejaculate. I thought I was doing something wrong...but sometimes, it just doesn't happen. I would rather have had him tell me honestly than for me to call him out on it...which I did. Regardless of the outcome, it still felt good.

 

[MzDeviancy]

I had sex once with this guy who just kept going for hours. Or at least it felt like hours. I wish he would've faked it.

 

[amicus]

Pure, the Threadstarter, and I, have been at it for years on this intellectual forum, but I just now had an epiphany as to his methodology, in terms of posting ideas and elliciting commentary.

You will note that Pure chose a topic calculated to draw interest; but offered no thoughts to either interpret or advocate the conclusions or questions.

It worked for me, this time anyway, as as the guy in the White House complains, I will not have communicated sufficiently to gain your support.

Sex is for the young.

It has but one purpose and one purpose only: procreation.

Since; in the evolution of man, we only lived about 30 years of life and then we died. Women bore as many children as they could...until she diedm often in giving birth.

You are free to travel in your own direction in contemplating that ramifications of humans living longer and being sexually active until late in life, even though menopause is the end of procreation, (yes, I know), in general...but old guys, (use your own definition of old), can still make a baby, although they may no longer be capable of supporting it to maturity.

I don't know what an 'orgasm' means to a woman, even though I write the hell out of female orgasms and get a lot of feedback on my accuracy or lack of it...I still haven't a clue as to the biological importance or meaning of the event.

I once read somewhere that an orgasm, an ejactulation by a man, was called, 'the little death'; an explosion of physical and emotional exaltation that one would be satisfied to end ones' life with.

I would sense, Pure, that it is only when sexual intercourse becomes a 'sporting event', recreatonal pleasure, that matters such as discussed in your article become pertinent.

Evolution is always a work in progress (I have dozens), and who can guess what nature will intervene with when it discovers that 'sex' has become a 'passtime', and is not only for the young.



ami

 

[Wildcard Ky]

I've faked it many times before. The purpose was always the same: To end the sex at that time.

The thing that makes it work is that a woman knows that when a man cums, he's done. Start stroking faster, tense up and give a loud grunt, and it's done.

Yes, I do consider my partners feelings, that's why I make a decent show of it.