men and women

EBETH

Virgin
Joined
Jul 7, 2002
Posts
3
I had another interesting thought/question.

I hope you don't mind a vanilla but curious person asking questions! I really am respectful of your lifestyle and would like to become more educated.

OK ... here was something I thought about ...

In the vanilla world, I've noticed that men are often more physical-sensation oriented about sex. And women are often more emotional-sensation oriented. At least in my experience, women are more likely to want men's emotional presence during sex, and men are more likely to be satisfied with just the physical presence. I know it's a stereotype, and I understand the law of exceptions! But I just mean in general.

So I wondered about in the BDSM world ..... do male submissives prefer the physical aspect of submission - like are they more interested in the feel of pain, for example? While female submissives might be more interested in the emotional sensation of belonging to someone? I know I'm making stereotypes! But ... do you think there could be some truth in that?

Do women tend to want less corporal punishment and more emotional contact?

-- Beth
 
Ebeth

I have found both men and women to need a combination of physical sensation and mental control.

Each individual will have individual preferences. So to which degree and for whom, can never be honestly explained to you.
 
I am female and very much a masochist. I know that this doesn't answer the question, but I can only talk for myself
 
My personal quirkiness

I vary, depending on who I am with. When I am being submissive for Hunny, I have a balance--I love both the sheer physical exhilaration and the pleasure of serving him. It's a nice mixture, and I guess it's best that way, since I do rather intend to live with him for the rest of my life.

However, there are two other people making guest appearances in my sex life right now, and I see both of these people in a D/s way. The female I am connected to very strongly on an emotional level, and when I see her I think I will be focusing mainly on that intense urge to make her happy. I derive so much pleasure from pleasing others, and I've never felt this urge so strongly as when I talk to her. She is a very important person in my life.

The male is much less important but I am learning a lot from our conversations. There is no emotional connection; it is sheer brutal lust and dominance and it is a delicious outlet. Could I do this for any length of time? I doubt it. So I guess, to summarize, the emotional connection is more important for me--but it's a lot more fun when there is the physicality too.
 
I think you want to hear from men more than women ... but hey! I am gonna answer anyway!

I need, crave, the emotional contact every bit as much as the physical.
 
Last edited:
i crave the physical side of BDSM, then the emotional afterward... there is nothing like having an implement used to redden my bottom, then be hugged, and told how perfect i am, and how proud he is of me...
 
excellent question! i need a mixture of both, or else the experience isnt satisfying at all.
 
Nothing like brining her down

i crave the physical side of BDSM, then the emotional afterward... there is nothing like having an implement used to redden my bottom, then be hugged, and told how perfect i am, and how proud he is of me...


What a perfect moment!
 
Dont want to be too general but I think there are more men than women who want JUST the physical side of SM but there are lots of women who do too.
Most people want both IMO.
 
Am I the first male to post?

Hm.

Good question. For me, I guess the emotional connection has to be there. My own heart gets poured into a relationship. The physicality is where the fun is, but the emotionality is what's important all the way through.

For me anyway.
 
ok, the second part of my name identifies my gender. Yup, Male. Now... which do I crave? Physical... aaaargh, that's sweet, certainly I need that to achieve orgasm in a sexual scene, but its just not what rocks my boat. Emotional, now that is where the boat is not only rocking but speeding along from crest to crest without hitting any troughs. I am not into pain, unless its to prove something to myself or I've gone into self-punishment mode for some triggery-survivor reason. BUT pain because my partner wants me to take it, yielding to her will... yes, THAT I can get into. And I could go on, but using the single most physical aspect of BDSM to make my point should, I think, indicate my preference.
 
Without the sharp hot intense focused flow of connected energy between my dominant and me, it's just kinky fucking. (Not that there's anything wrong with "just kinky fucking" mind you, it's just not what i need from this kinda sexuality/love style.)

The emotional side of what i do with my partner is more important to me than is the physical side - and i can't survive as a whole, healthy, and happy human being without the physical expression of BDSM sexuality in my life.

It's seemed to be so for most of my long-term and important dominants over the years, too, men or women.
 
I was thinking this was a new thread until I noticed cym's name. Whoa! Blast from the past.

Like SouthernSting, I long for both parts. Sometimes I just want to be beaten, fucked, and abused, and sometimes I want to be loved and mindfucked and shamed. It's a little of both all the time.
 
Back
Top