Meeting subs

[Tahlvain]

(I originally posted this in the How To section, but was recommended to post here instead)

First of, let me preface this by apologizing for my incoherent rambling. I consider myself a private person, and I’m not used to divulging matters such as the ones contained within this post. As such, this may be a little bit on the lofty side as I try and explain myself. Also, I am not posting this to meet other people, just to receive some advice. I did not know exactly where to post it, I hope this is an appropriate place. If it is indeed not, I ask that the moderators please move it to where it is more suited.

Let me start with my background. I am 32 years old and immigrated to the US at the age of 19 from Europe as I applied for and received a scholarship for a distinguished business school. I work as a Financial Consultant, making a six figure salary per year working 30-35 hours a week + the rare night meeting doing something I enjoy. I consider myself successful in my field, I own a nice house and a nice car. I spend an average of three weeks back home with my family on vacation each year. Overall, I’m very happy with my life. I consider myself a social and outgoing person, and I have a close circle of friends that I regularly spend time with. I have had no problems in finding and dating women, having hooked up with several over the years in relationships that have ranged from a month to three years.

My problem is this. The type of women that I meet, while being very nice and friendly and quite pretty most of the time, do not share the same interests sexually as me. I consider myself a Dom, although one with limited experience due to the above problem. Whenever I have had a girlfriend that has been interested in experimenting, I have always enjoyed it immensely while the girl has decided that she is not interested. This could be my fault, in which case I believe there is not much I can do. But I am operating out of the assumption that they were not really interested in it, and just did it because I suggested it. I want to find a girl that enjoys being tied up, that gets turned on by being teased and pleading for release, somebody that knows that if they run their mouth they are going to end up with a burning bottom.

This leads to the jist of this longwinded monologue and the reason I post in the first place. I know there are girls out there that enjoy some of the same things I do, but I have not found a good way to meet them. Just asking girls that I meet out seems to lead me nowhere. I am skittish of trying to meet somebody on the internet, as I have a bad taste in my mouth from a friend doing that very thing and it turning out a disaster.

Any advice anybody can offer on this will be most appreciated. Thank you for your time.

 

[graceanne]

Find your local munch and start attending meetings.

 

[babiesmiles]

welcome on board , I have not doubt you will find soon what you are looking for .. just don't give up

 

[BeachGurl2]

I agree with Gracie. In Phoenix, we have APEX - Arizona Power Exchange. They have regular meetings and a dungeon. Great place to meet other like-minded people. And they will usually offer a trial membership so you can check things out to see if you're interested in being a full member. This link has some associations across the country that you can check into. Good luck on your search.

 

[catalina_francisco]

One piece of advice I would add is not to mention your income. I met a Dom who made sure it was the first thing he mentioned and then complained about subs who turned out to be only interested in him for his money....and was equally surprised I actually did not want to continue talking to him simply because he had mentioned it and felt it was a reason for me to find him interesting.

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

One piece of advice I would add is not to mention your income. I met a Dom who made sure it was the first thing he mentioned and then complained about subs who turned out to be only interested in him for his money....and was equally surprised I actually did not want to continue talking to him simply because he had mentioned it and felt it was a reason for me to find him interesting.

Catalina

I agree with that. I hate it when I think someone is bragging it's a total turn off. Maybe younger women are into that, I dunno, I'd be surprised but you never know. I'm into the person, his mind, confidence, heart and soul.

Fury

 

[Tahlvain]

I apologize if my post came off the wrong way. One of the main flaws of the internet is the written words lack of emotions and inflections in the tone of voice. I only stated my income due to a fairly nasty business habit to reduce a persons personality to his income and what University he attended. I mostly try and avoid it, but fall in it ever so often, especially when nervous.

I want to thank you for your advice though, both here and in private. It has been very helpful.

 

[MasterBuck777]

Dominant BM ISO sexually submissive older women(ages 40 and up) in FL

I've been in the Lifestyle for 8 years and consider myself a Dom. I have had several online/phone slaves but haven't had the realtionship to explore in real life. My question is how do I go about finding a submissive to suit my needs

 

[saw_man1]

I've been in the Lifestyle for 8 years and consider myself a Dom. I have had several online/phone slaves but haven't had the realtionship to explore in real life. My question is how do I go about finding a submissive to suit my needs

There are a few BDSM "dating" sites on the internet.

There is also a personals section devoted to BDSM here.

 

[FurryFury]

And go to local kink groups, munches, demos, play parties, conventions.

Fury

 

[snowy ciara]

Google is your friend. Google BDSM groups and your geographic area.

 

[MechaBlade]

Google is your friend. Google BDSM groups and your geographic area.

I am surprised that I can't find any power exchanges in my area (CA). Fetish clubs maybe.

Maybe I should start a power exchange site/club?!

 

[O'Mac]

Let me start with my background. I am 32 years old and immigrated to the US at the age of 19 from Europe as I applied for and received a scholarship for a distinguished business school. I work as a Financial Consultant, making a six figure salary per year working 30-35 hours a week + the rare night meeting doing something I enjoy. I consider myself successful in my field, I own a nice house and a nice car. I spend an average of three weeks back home with my family on vacation each year. Overall, I’m very happy with my life. I consider myself a social and outgoing person, and I have a close circle of friends that I regularly spend time with. I have had no problems in finding and dating women, having hooked up with several over the years in relationships that have ranged from a month to three years.

Awesome news about the job, house, and car. Sorry to hear about the small penis though.

Seriously, who trolls for compliments like that in the BDSM forums?

 

[FurryFury]

I am surprised that I can't find any power exchanges in my area (CA). Fetish clubs maybe.

Maybe I should start a power exchange site/club?!

Maybe you should but that is hard to believe.

http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-lo...te=CALIFORNIA&view_records=View+Records&ww=on

Check the above out too.

Fury

 

[SierraMoon]

I am surprised that I can't find any power exchanges in my area (CA). Fetish clubs maybe.

Maybe I should start a power exchange site/club?!

I'm not sure if you are in Northern or Southern CA... but we have "The Citadel" in San Francisco, which is a dungeon that has public parties... there is also the Society of Janus, which is a group that you can join to find out about all the things going on in N. Cali.

http://www.sfcitadel.org/links.php

http://www.soj.org/main.html

http://societyofjanus.tribe.net/

 

[bbinhou]

o'mac killed me with his reply........very good,,,,,,i read it the same way.......later.......

 

[LadyAria]

I'm having a hard time with the inital post. Throwing it out there like that is setting yourself up for opportunists.

Like everyone else said...join the social community to meet like minded people. I think more importantly educate yourself on what it means to be Dom. Having someone entrust you with their care is not all cuffs and kinky. There is a responsiblity to the person.

Goodluck in your search.

 

[Private_Label]

I apologize if my post came off the wrong way. One of the main flaws of the internet is the written words lack of emotions and inflections in the tone of voice. I only stated my income due to a fairly nasty business habit to reduce a persons personality to his income and what University he attended. I mostly try and avoid it, but fall in it ever so often, especially when nervous.

I want to thank you for your advice though, both here and in private. It has been very helpful.

Hahhahhh... I could say I make a six figure income too, if you include the places after the decimal point.

 

[ammre]

I apologize if my post came off the wrong way. One of the main flaws of the internet is the written words lack of emotions and inflections in the tone of voice. I only stated my income due to a fairly nasty business habit to reduce a persons personality to his income and what University he attended. I mostly try and avoid it, but fall in it ever so often, especially when nervous.

I want to thank you for your advice though, both here and in private. It has been very helpful.

If you are in earnest, then i wish you good luck. Get out there, go to loacal groups and meetings, and make friends using your personality, not your wallet.

If you are trying to inflate your cock, i mean... ego... Then i'd like to point out that my last paycheck was 180 dollars for 2 weeks. i haven't graduated college, a little state school with no scholarship for me. My car is a 16 year old hand me down with no working ac or radio. I make it a point to live in my dorm year round becasue I don't have a room at home. I used day old expiered milk in my cerial this morning becasue i don't really have the money for more groceries. I have two yearly vacations. One is camping. Happy to live in a 7x9x4' tent for two weeks with no toilets, and a distinct lack of legitimate shower. The other is a community service trip, my last one was in oaxaca mexico where i went a week without shower and flusing toilet, ate corn in at least two different forms at every meal and slept on a roof.
but i bet people like me better

That discription makes you sound extremely boring. Maybe that's your first problem when it comes to meeting people. Don't present your description, just becasue you have a good car dosne't mean someone is intrested in trusting you to tie them up.

 

[O'Mac]

but i bet people like me better

You know we do.

 

[MechaBlade]

I'm not sure if you are in Northern or Southern CA... but we have "The Citadel" in San Francisco, which is a dungeon that has public parties... there is also the Society of Janus, which is a group that you can join to find out about all the things going on in N. Cali.

http://www.sfcitadel.org/links.php

http://www.soj.org/main.html

http://societyofjanus.tribe.net/

Thanks.

That's right, I forgot about SoJanus.

anyway, I'm in S. Cali.

 

[Darla_Darling]

Personally, Tahlvain, I wasn't aroused by the mention of money, but I was turned on by the lack of grammatical errors. I wish you all the best with your quest.