MAXisms or MAXims?

[SEVERUSMAX]

51. It's ageism if you condemn one adult for dating another adult, of either sex, as "creepy" or "pervy," or whatever.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

52. Jehovah, if you or Jesus are watching, quit being so cheap and pay for your own porn, you sick, twisted, stingy fucks.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

53. Excerpt from one of my stories, but still a great pearl of wisdom. “Love was never meant to be so cruel. It’s not about forsaking others. It’s about embracing each other. Whoever wanted to make people choose between lovers was a sadist." Aphrodite in "Aphrodite's Kiss"
54. When in doubt, try to live in a way that would make David Duke scream in agony.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

55. When in doubt, ask yourself WWZD. What would Zeus do?

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

56. Irony that Trump expels Dreamers, but they love America far more than he ever could.
57. DO NOT DATE TAYLOR SWIFT! Period. Her songs are musical revenge porn.
58. DO NOT DATE CARRIE UNDERWOOD! That bitch will destroy your car and even brag about it in a fucking video all because you cheated on her. Ugh.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

59. For the ladies, if you wouldn't want him talking about it to his buddies, don't talk about it to your girlfriends.
60. If you can ogle eye candy, so can we.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

61. Instead of comparing male infant circumcision to FGM, let's just agree that mutilating genitals for either sex because of a book of fables written by long-dead men is probably not a good way of life.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

62. Jehovah likes rape, the number seven, slavery, genocide, torture, fire, sulphur, virgins, stonings, sycophantic flattery, and forcing other men's betrothed peasant virgin girls to bear his sons (why not daughters while we're at it?). He dislikes homosexuality, adultery, interfaith marriage, menstrual sex, the number six, and orgies. He can't make up his mind about incest, interracial marriage, or divorce. Dude has issues and is probably not the best life coach.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

63. Mormonism was suspect to me the moment that I realized that the priesthood was closed to black men until 1978.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

64. Any church that holds secret temple rites, demands a flat tithe regardless of income, and dictates your choice of underwear is probably a cult. Just sayin'.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

65. Pros of Jehovah's Witnesses: they don't vote or run for office or get involved in politics. Or engage in acts of violence. Cons of Jehovah's Witnesses: they won't leave you alone and they don't want you to have necessary, life-saving blood if you have a medical emergency. A few other issues, but those are the biggest two.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

66. For the benefit of any Christians who sing "My Sweet Lord" at their services. I would like to thank you, on behalf of Lords Rama and Krishna, for embracing their divinity along with that of your Jesus.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

67. Everything that Jesus said later of any real timeless value, Buddha, Zarathustra, Homer, or Rabbi Hillel said first. Just sayin'.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

68. Jesus would be kicked out of most churches nowadays and deported by Trump's ICE. How dare that bearded, olive-skinned Middle-Eastern hippie guru and his fellow homeless Galileans claim to be their Lord and Savior, when we all know that he looked like a bearded, robed Fabio?

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

69. Always remember that you're someone's reason to masturbate. Unless you're Trump, Pence, or someone like that. Then you're someone's reason to puke.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

70. If you must go on a "real date," take her to a buffet. That will weed out the golddiggers and other assorted greedy ingrates pretty darn fast. And save you money into the bargain.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

71. The best way to deprogram a Christian is to get him or her to read the Bible cover to cover without any "guide" to interpreting it.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

72. Always be yourself. Unless you can be God. Because then you could fix some seriously broken shit.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

73. It's society that's sick, not the so-called perverts.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

74. Normalcy is seriously overrated.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

75. People act like Pilate was agonizing over the death of Jesus. Newsflash, the dude was the most brutal governor in Judean history and Jesus had made a scene, twice, in the Temple. This was just another workday for that dude. He was like Vlad the Impaler to the Judeans. Also, wives didn't tag along to dangerous provinces with their husbands, but nice try, Gospel writers. Busted big time!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

76. Borrowed from Hustler magazine. If after convincing yourself that a hunk of stale bread is a two thousand-year old corpse, you eat it, anyway, you're probably in a cult.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

77. Christian privilege is real. No other religion gets to use as its symbol an instrument of death and not get labeled a death cult.

 

[Curmudgeonly]

Do you have any unexpressed thoughts?

Have you ever . . .

. . .taken the time. .




. . . to refine a thought before expressing it?

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.