maturing in the wrong places

[rosebud5446]

okay. so i'm 20 years old, and i just don't feel like i fit in at all.
in many cases, i don't really like to party often, because i feel it is all stupid and immature. and some things i do like to do that everyone else around me does as well, i sometimes feel like i'm not doing the right thing, and get self concious like i shouldn't do it, even though everyone else does. it's like my mind wants to be older than i am. i know i am still immature in some ways, like i'm just learning to not blow all my money on stupid shit and save for bills. but i want to be able to have fun, because when i get older, i don't want to regret not ever being a college kid and just going out and having a good time. i just don't get why i can't let myself go.

 

[Programmer Cat]

You don't "fit in" because you're not cut out to be a typical "college kid". Instead of trying to make yourself enjoy what works for others, find out what works for you. There are already a metric arseload of typical "college kids" out there. Why be another?

 

[TBKahuna123]

okay. so i'm 20 years old, and i just don't feel like i fit in at all.
in many cases, i don't really like to party often, because i feel it is all stupid and immature. and some things i do like to do that everyone else around me does as well, i sometimes feel like i'm not doing the right thing, and get self concious like i shouldn't do it, even though everyone else does. it's like my mind wants to be older than i am. i know i am still immature in some ways, like i'm just learning to not blow all my money on stupid shit and save for bills. but i want to be able to have fun, because when i get older, i don't want to regret not ever being a college kid and just going out and having a good time. i just don't get why i can't let myself go.

You can't let yourself go because you are being responsible. Nothing wrong with that at all. I was the same way when I was in college, and as I look back, I wouldn't change a thing. I didn't miss anything, and I have a lot less nights I regret than most of my friends.

Don't let anyone tell you that being mature is a bad thing. The world could use more responsible 20 year olds these days, IMNSHO.

 

[Norajane]

Maybe you need to hang out with different people if you don't feel like you fit in with the ones you're hanging out with now. No one fits in everywhere.

Contrary to popular belief, college isn't about hanging out and having a good time (all the time ). College is about learning, both in your classes and out of class, so when you graduate, you have an education and a good sense of who you are and what you want out of life.

You should be spending your time exploring the things that interest you. College is a fantastic place to dabble and try different clubs and acitivities - student goverment, the school paper, drama club, intramural sports, league sports, tennis, swimming, comedy clubs, running clubs, dance classes, Shakespeare clubs, writing clubs, bell ringing clubs, Bible study, volunteer tutors, singing groups, college radio stations, ethnic clubs, knitting clubs, women's clubs, students with nose rings clubs - take advantage of everything that is available to you, try different things, and meet people you might enjoy more than your current group.

There are all kinds of definitions of fun, and yours doesn't have to include partying all the time. Yeah, there's always the crowd that spends the weekends in a drunken haze. But there are lots of people that don't. Go find those people, and spend a little less time worrying about whether you fit in with the party crowd.

 

[kaboom3d]

college is the time to figure stuff out. sit down and think about all this new stuff, all this stuff form the proff's, from other students, from books. if you don't feel like you fit in, change your group or change your school. get to a large enough school and you will find so many types, there is no bell curve.

loosen up kid, and have some fun, but study hard and don't wast your parents money.. ;-)

 

[Vixandra]

I can really sympathise, and I'm not at collage.

23 in So Cal- a lot of people in my age group are spending thier weekends smashed.
And I just fail to see the point.

I'm the sober one at a party, often dragging a friend away from a girl or guy they wouldn't want to be with sober.

One thing I love- if they have them in your area, find a local Ren Faire guild and give that a go. Its a blast, great way to meet people and even if there is drunken debauchery after hours, you don't have to join if you don't want to.

 

[Raidho]

Standing apart from immaturity isn't a bad thing. Eventually, you'll find people you click with, and you'll realize that pretending to be someone you're not isn't really all that much fun.


Besides, you may earn the prestigious title of being "eccentric," and that, in my opinion, is its own reward.

 

[Guest]