Masturbation

[nomdeplume]

I enjoy seeing my wife masturbate. I think it is one of the most erotic things that she can do. The trouble is she says that she feels it is a selfish thing for her to do and does not like doing it.

What is the best way to introduce her to masturbation, that she will enjoy doing. No she doesn't masturbate at any other time...well she says she doesn't.

I have bought loads of vibes and dildos for her, and sometimes use them on her, but there is always a general reluctance on her part, which she consitently blames on her upbringing.

 

[Babydoll5272]

I know how she feel

I also was brought up in a rather strict home where we did not talk about sex let alone masturbation! At times I felt like sex was a dirty thing something to tbe shameful of!

I personally did not start to explore with masturbation regularly myself until a few years ago! Personally I would draw a hot bubble bath bring a few magazines in to read to set the mood an go at it! It took me awhile to perfect and really enjoy masturbating myself before I would even feel comfortable to masturbate in front of someone else!

The best advice I can give is maybe suggest she take some alone time for herself, and you go kick back and watch TV or go out! Let her have time to explore in her own time masturbation and maybe with an encouraging mate as yourself she will open up and feel a little bit more comfortable!

Do you also masturbate with her, this may make it easier as to though she feels that you are not staring at her 100% but also at satisfying yourself at the same time!

I hope I made some sense and helped in a small way!

DOLL

 

[nomdeplume]

Thanks Doll.

Yes we do mutually masturbate. The problem here is by the sounds of things you're quite open minded and were willing to give something new a try. My wife is not so. Anything out of the ordinary that we try is at my instigation. It makes me feel like a pervert or that I am forcing her, no, not forcing, but coercing her. She will generally try something, but it is probably because she doesn't want to upset me by saying no. Quite honestly I would prefer that, than have her just going through the motions.
She has never read or even looked at a magazine to my knowledge and will look at me with distain if I mention that we could watch a porno...
Any other suggestions????

 

[looking4fun]

Nom, if you figure out how to do it (getting your wife to) then let me know. As I an in the same boat as you. Except I can't get my wife to try it even once.

Good Luck

 

[tonytuna1957]

nomdeplume

I buy my wife a new vibrator once or twice a year sometime more if I happen to see one she might like.......This is our 20th Christmas together and I alway buy her one to open on Chistmas Eve,,,in bed of course.....She really enjoys it when I go down on her as she is masturbating.......but she loves it the best when I just suck her nipples as she is doing herself.........btw she enjoys watching me come also as I use one of her toys............

The Tunamaster

 

[KMann]

it is for me but not for her

> she says that she feels it is a selfish thing
> for her to do and does not like doing it.

No, for a woman it is not selfish since she can continue and have more with her partner. It is selfish for a man insofar as he is more likely to only orgasm once and may lose both his erection for her and his interest in her.

 

[juicylips]

[B

Yes we do mutually masturbate. The problem here is by the sounds of things you're quite open minded and were willing to give something new a try. My wife is not so. Anything out of the ordinary that we try is at my instigation. It makes me feel like a pervert or that I am forcing her, no, not forcing, but coercing her. She will generally try something, but it is probably because she doesn't want to upset me by saying no. Quite honestly I would prefer that, than have her just going through the motions.
She has never read or even looked at a magazine to my knowledge and will look at me with distain if I mention that we could watch a porno...
Any other suggestions???? [/B]

I don't watch porn or read it. I don't need it to stimulate me to masturbate. I have plenty of other things that get me going So, that might not help her anyways.

Patience and communication. Sounds as if she is somewhat open with you sexually. I am sure she wants to please you. Just might take some time Maybe she feels pressured? Talk to her.

Cassidy

 

[SilverVeil]

Hummm .... this is a tricky one. Does your wife drink ? Now I AM NOT saying get her drunk by any means .... but she may lose a few inhibitions if she has a drink or two to relax and feel drifty.

You should talk to your wife openly about it. Tell her exactly how you feel, play a game with certain sexual rewards or something along those lines together. Make her feel at ease. Both of you sit on the bed or sofa, touching each other and yourselves. Talk to her while doing it. Let her know how desirable you find her when she is aroused.

Just some suggestions.

 

[Batgirl]

Why don't you try getting her to 'help' you with the placement of some of the sex toys next time you are making love? I mean it would be easy to ask her to show you exactly where her clitoris is, or the pressure she likes the most. Ease her into it instead of expecting her to jump right in there. Make sure the lights aren't bright - candles are good - or she will really feel under scrutiny. Silverveil had a great idea with the alcohol, not too much just a couple. Try giving her a massage first, touching every part of her body to 'wake' her up, tell her how attractive she is to you.
Make sure that she is aware how erotic you find the sight of her masturbating - that'll blow her selfish theory right out the window!
When my husband first asked me to masturbate for him I was reluctant, but after a few self concious times I started to relax. Now I quite look forward to it, just knowing how turned on he gets by watching gives me a womanly sense of sexual 'power' (for want of a better word).
I wish you both luck and I say both because if your wife isn't masturbating she is also missing out on the fun!

 

[nomdeplume]

All of your posts are good news, for I have tried every single route mentioned, with the exception of drink.....she doesn't. Still it gives me faith that I am approaching the thing in a sensitive way. I have been trying for over ten years now so maybe it is just a case that she doesn't like doing it. It's a shame because it really does turn me on, and yes, I have told her as much. I have even written a story based on female fantasy and masturbation, which she has read and enjoyed; in the hopes that it would give her the right idea.....it didn't.
I have talked openly, I have bought all manner of toys, I have even encouraged her to do it when I'm not there just in case she feels embarrassed. All to no avail.
Perhaps I should be content and rely on the stories you girls write on your own fantasies and masturbation.....If anyone wants to write one specifically for me, please go ahead.
The one thing that keeps me going, is an occasion she once told me of, where she wanted sex but I was too tired and went to sleep. She says she started to play with herself then, but never finished. She has not to my knowledge tried since.

 

[Babydoll5272]

I have the other prob

Nom:
Sorry my advice wasnt the right kind! I can tell you I know how you feel from the opposite end. My husband does not like to talk about sex at all! I dont know if it embarresses him or what! He looks at magazines and stuff wont watch porn says it does nothing for him! I watch porn!

I try to talk to him about spicing up are sex life like trying new postitions or whatever he wont talk about it! So about a year ago I guess out of sexual frustations I started writing erotic stories to relive my fantasies on paper at least! He wont even read them! He says he would rather look at pics that erotic stories dont turn him on!

So now I have a GF which he knows and approves up and that has helped to spice up my sex life! All I am trying to say is I know the frustation! My sex life with my husband is great, but it he potential to be sooooooo much better if he would just open up! And this is not something new we have been married for eleven years!

Sometimes I feel like the perv in this relationship because every since my 29th Bday I think I hit my sexual peak, and I watch the porno movies,I buyt the magazines, I go toys shopping etc!

Good luck to you Nom and I hope you will keep us posted!

Hugs
DOLL