masturbation etiquette while dating?

[Hanon435]

Is there such a thing? Women have a bottomless pit for pleasure but is a guy expected to always be ready to please a woman while dating? Is that what most women expect? Do women expect a guy to stop and only get pleasure from her or is ok to continue masturbating while dating? Is there a common expection for this while dating?

 

[LadyJeanne]

Is there such a thing? Women have a bottomless pit for pleasure but is a guy expected to always be ready to please a woman while dating? Is that what most women expect? Do women expect a guy to stop and only get pleasure from her or is ok to continue masturbating while dating? Is there a common expection for this while dating?

Miss Manners never said a thing about it.

No.

No.

No, and yes.

No.

 

[Socal22]

ITs up to you

Masturbation is a much more personal and sometimes spiritual communion with yourself and sex with a woman is not a replacement for it. Even when a women keeps me sexually satisfied I still end up masturbating at least couple times a week, sometimes more than when I am not getting sex.

Women sometimes don't understand(not all women but some maybe most) the fact that it is a different and private experience(mostly). But the decision to do it or not is yours as well as the decision to tell her or not.

 

[M's girl]

Hmmmmm....... good question.

I don't know. Masturbation is something that is yours to do and to enjoy. I don't mind if my man does it; it is such a natural thing. For me, personaly it would depend. In a former relationship (we were living together) we had porn that we both watched. I prefer to watch it together and enjoy it together. But when he started to watch more and more porn without me and was not 'able' to perform when I was around (watching porn or not) because he had 'blown his whistle' and that was it.... I can tell you I did not like it one bit.

I'm not saying a man should always be ready to please me when I want it... but this went a bit too far for my taste and I can honestly say it effected our sexlife (together) in a negative way. Ultimately we broke up, partly also because of things like this.

It's just a fact that men only can cum a certain number of times a day. Some even have enough if they cum once a day or in a few days (honestly...) so if they, in my view, choose porn/masturbating over sex with me I thing there's something wrong with their attitude towards our relationship, because I'm for having sex at least once a day, so he can have it with me (almost) any time he wants...

If a guy (my guy) masturbates any number of time(s) and still wants to have sex with me (and enjoy it) then who am I to say he should not....

 

[Hanon435]

Sounds like it is up to the guy mainly and he should think ahead.

On the other hand, I think the girl would become very bored with the routine business a guy goes through daily.

 

[M's girl]

Sounds like it is up to the guy mainly and he should think ahead.

On the other hand, I think the girl would become very bored with the routine business a guy goes through daily.

Thinking ahead is ALWAYS good....

What do you mean by "the girl would become very bored with the routine business a guy goes through daily"..... ? I would get bored if my BF would masturbate? Or if sex (with him) is always the same?

 

[Ravin the Poet]

It can all deal with timing as well. My girlfriend isn't around right now, and I wont be getting any sex for another two weeks, so I might as well help myself a little, espcially when I feel the urge to do so. I don't go insane, I sometimes do it once a day, because I know it helps out sex life because it makes me last longer. And I am not one to care if I don't cum during sex, because I do it for her. I get my enjoyment, and she gets hours of hers.

I guess as said, if your life is taken over by jerking off, then that might be a little to far. Once a day, or every so often is fine, its part of human nature. Just make sure as said, you can still perform and satisfy the women as well as yourself.


Ravin

 

[A_Kefka]

I personally don't give up taking care of myself. If I'm having sex I do tend to cut back a little, but not stop.

 

[SweetErika]

Is there such a thing? Women have a bottomless pit for pleasure but is a guy expected to always be ready to please a woman while dating? Is that what most women expect? Do women expect a guy to stop and only get pleasure from her or is ok to continue masturbating while dating? Is there a common expection for this while dating?

My only expectation is that masturbation (for either of us) will supplement, not replace, sex. That is, the only problems would be if my partner were masturbating enough that s/he didn't want sex with me many times, had trouble getting aroused or orgasming from anything other than masturbation, or there were a compulsive or addiction issues; up to those points, I'm all for masturbation.

Sex is just one of many ways to please me, so I'm happy as long as a man's usually willing to engage himself and give and receive pleasure via oral, manual, toys, etc. An inability or unwillingness to have sex due to masturbation wouldn't go over well with me, but I'm guessing that's an uncommon situation.

People view masturbation differently, so it's best to discuss it and any expectations with each partner.

 

[human_male]

Your masturbation habbits are entirely your business. If she has a problem with your wanking then I'd tell her that it's non of her business. And that goes for porn too but that's just me.

If you're concerned about it, do you feel comfortable bringing it up with her? If she hasn't said anything though, I wouldn't worry about it. I can't imagine it being a problem. Besides, it's not like you can't perform if you'd had a wank earlier in the day is it?

 

[Eilan]

Women have a bottomless pit for pleasure

Actually, if you go deep enough, you'll hit the cervix.

[/smartass]

Your masturbation habbits are entirely your business.

Yeah, and that goes for men and women.

This is slightly off-topic, but I think that there tends to be a double standard when it comes to relationships and masturbation, as in it's something that men can do even if they're getting sex regularly, but women shouldn't do it because they have a man to take care of their sexual needs.

Like SweetErika, I see masturbation as a supplement to regular sex. I think that it would be pretty naive of my husband and me to assume that we don't masturbate. Frankly, I don't masturbate all that often; lately, I've been doing it in front of my hubby.

I don't worry much about it, though, because my hubby's never been a one-and-done kinda guy. He can wank all he wants as long as he can still get it up for me.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Everyone should be masturbating as often as they like regardless of dating or relationship status. Hey! If ya got the parts, enjoy'em.

 

[Hanon435]

What do you mean by "the girl would become very bored with the routine business a guy goes through daily"..... ? I would get bored if my BF would masturbate? Or if sex (with him) is always the same?

If the guys is not supposed to do that without the girl, then the girl could be around all the time while he does that. But that might be quite often and could become dull for the girl then.

Actually, if you go deep enough, you'll hit the cervix.

[/smartass]

I meant women can keep orgasming silly. Practically no limit.

 

[Cockyfox]

I thought masturbation for guys was as much a maintenance thing as a pleasure thing! *shrug*

Go ahead and do your thing, but like others said, don't let it replace the tango!

 

[silverwhisper]

eilan quoth
i think that there tends to be a double standard when it comes to relationships and masturbation, as in it's something that men can do even if they're getting sex regularly, but women shouldn't do it because they have a man to take care of their sexual needs.

i've never encountered that notion before now. it would actually make more sense if that were inverted: b/c men tend to get fewer "shots", men should ration 'em.

weird.

ed

 

[Eilan]

i've never encountered that notion before now. it would actually make more sense if that were inverted: b/c men tend to get fewer "shots", men should ration 'em.

weird.

ed

It's an ego issue, like cock size. It doesn't have to make sense.

Fortunately, this attitude doesn't seem to prevail at Lit.

 

[silverwhisper]

fucking machismo bullshit. it's bad when as a guy i can look at a dude and think "that motherfucker really needs an antidote for that case of testosterone poisoning".

ed

 

[bobsgirl]

I've never understood women who hate for their guy to masturbate. I do it, he does it, every now and then we do it together. Whatever works.

 

[EJFan]

i think that if you and your partner consider masturbation to be SEX, and you're both committed to be in a monogomous relationship together, then i would say that you should avoid masturbation... because it's cheating under these terms.

outside of that i have to agree with the masses in saying that it's a personal thing that's for you and you alone (discussion w/partner optional)... completely independent from whatever activities you both engage in together.

 

[M's girl]

If the guys is not supposed to do that without the girl, then the girl could be around all the time while he does that. But that might be quite often and could become dull for the girl then.

I meant women can keep orgasming silly. Practically no limit.

A) Alright then.... I'm not saying a guy isn't supposed to do it without the girl. By all means... do it! As long as there's something left to have sex/intimacy together. Other than that I fully understand if my guy wants to have a little fun time on his own every now and then... when I'm around though, I'd prefer he share it with me. That's what we do anyway sometimes.... end up masturbating together in some way.

B) Women can't keep orgasming forever. They will be able to cum more often but there is a limit... at least with me..

 

[TBKahuna123]

Yeah, and that goes for men and women.

This is slightly off-topic, but I think that there tends to be a double standard when it comes to relationships and masturbation, as in it's something that men can do even if they're getting sex regularly, but women shouldn't do it because they have a man to take care of their sexual needs.

Like SweetErika, I see masturbation as a supplement to regular sex. I think that it would be pretty naive of my husband and me to assume that we don't masturbate. Frankly, I don't masturbate all that often; lately, I've been doing it in front of my hubby.

I don't worry much about it, though, because my hubby's never been a one-and-done kinda guy. He can wank all he wants as long as he can still get it up for me.

You know, it's funny, but my wife finally asked me why I masturbate, after 11 years of marriage!!! It's nto really a maintenance issue for me, it's just different kind of pleasure. It's not that I'm looking for something other than her, it's just a personal thing. There's nothing she could do to replace masturbation, just like there's nothing that I'm looking to replace with masturbation. She kinda shrugged and said ok, so long as it wasn't something she wasn't doing for me. And so long as I wouldn't rather masturbate than make love to her.

And I don't get these guys who have think a woman shouldn't masturbate. To me there is nothing sexier than watching my wife masturbate.

Funny though, I just realized she's never watched me. Ever. Hmm....

 

[LadyJeanne]

You know, it's funny, but my wife finally asked me why I masturbate, after 11 years of marriage!!! It's nto really a maintenance issue for me, it's just different kind of pleasure. It's not that I'm looking for something other than her, it's just a personal thing. There's nothing she could do to replace masturbation, just like there's nothing that I'm looking to replace with masturbation. She kinda shrugged and said ok, so long as it wasn't something she wasn't doing for me. And so long as I wouldn't rather masturbate than make love to her.

And I don't get these guys who have think a woman shouldn't masturbate. To me there is nothing sexier than watching my wife masturbate.

Funny though, I just realized she's never watched me. Ever. Hmm....

She's missing out! It turns me on to see my SO touching himself.



Try it while you're having sex, maybe while she's playing with a vibrator or masturbating herself or touching you elsewhere.

 

[TBKahuna123]

She's missing out! It turns me on to see my SO touching himself.



Try it while you're having sex, maybe while she's playing with a vibrator or masturbating herself or touching you elsewhere.

No it was actually pretty funny. We were talking about it and had a big laugh because she's done this for me many times, but I've never done it for her. It's funny how in a relationship that is so open and playful that something that simple could go 11 years without ever coming up! Maybe in aiming high you sometimes miss life's simple pleasures.

 

[Eilan]

Funny though, I just realized she's never watched me. Ever. Hmm....

I watched my ex masturbate exactly once--shortly after our wedding. He was horribly embarrassed afterward. I never masturbated in front of him.

When my hubby and I started dating, it became pretty clear that he wasn't embarrassed to admit that he masturbated. He worked second shift for a three-month period, so we didn't see much of each other (we weren't living together at that time). I used to send him some pretty naughty emails so he'd have something to look forward to when he got home from work, and he admitted that he'd read them and masturbate. That took some getting used to for me, because my ex was so secretive and ashamed about it.

 

[bobsgirl]

i think that if you and your partner consider masturbation to be SEX, and you're both committed to be in a monogomous relationship together, then i would say that you should avoid masturbation... because it's cheating under these terms....

I'm thinking this is just convoluted and illogical enough that some Bible-thumper somewhere would agree. THOSE are the ones whoshould masturbate and avoid reproducing.