Masturbating to someone else?

[MissVianne]

I had been thinking about this for quite a while. Every time I masturbate I have a bit of a hard time thinking about my SO. I don't believe that it means he doesn't turn me on because we have a pretty awesome sex life and this used to happen with other partners as well, I've never fantasized about the person I'm with it just feels kind of awkward for me.

Is that weird? Instead I fantasize about all my different fetishes and even when I try to incorporate my SO's face into the fantasy it just ends up not working.

Am I the only one? Who or what do you fantasize about?

 

[SgtSpiderMan]

Have you told your SO about your fetishes?

 

[MissVianne]

He is aware, of course.

 

[SgtSpiderMan]

He is aware, of course.

Has he participated in it with you?

 

[SecretAgentMan7]

I can't/don't imagine my SO either ... but it wouldn't really be fantasy if I did. I guess masturbation can be separated from fantasy, but if you've got it there why be imagining something else? For me, I find it a great opportunity to explore other sides of me, which is precisely something I don't do with my SO ... Does that make sense or have I had too much wine tonight? I like to think a little of both.

 

[Ginger_McHale]

If I am playing with a friend I focus on him. If I am with my husband, I focus on him.
I think the person you happen to be with at the time deserves all of your attention.

 

[SecretAgentMan7]

If I am playing with a friend I focus on him. If I am with my husband, I focus on him.
I think the person you happen to be with at the time deserves all of your attention.

What about if you're playing alone? Or is it always more fun with someone involved in at least some way ... chat, email, etc.?

 

[Ginger_McHale]

It is usally more fun with someone involved, but if I am alone then I usually go with the one who pops into my head first. Make sense?

 

[drgold234966]

It is usally more fun with someone involved, but if I am alone then I usually go with the one who pops into my head first. Make sense?

I would agree - I actually find that I'll tend to masterbate to thoughts of my wife, but when someone else pops into my mind, thats whom I go with. Take Ginger_McHale, for example...I'm thinking about her as we speak

 

[sandra753]

It is usally more fun with someone involved, but if I am alone then I usually go with the one who pops into my head first. Make sense?

It definitely helps if your into the person your with.

 

[MissVianne]

Has he participated in it with you?

You don't understand. I just can't picture myself with him in any of the fantasies when I masturbate. He's part of my fantasies of course but when I do it I can't picture him in them.

 

[MissVianne]

People seem to not be able to read. The thread says MASTURBATION, not sex. God what's so hard to understand?

 

[SecretAgentMan7]

You don't understand. I just can't picture myself with him in any of the fantasies when I masturbate. He's part of my fantasies of course but when I do it I can't picture him in them.

Could that be that the nature of fantasy involves someone else (either directly or indirectly)? I don't know how well I articulated myself, but that's how I feel ... If my SO were there then it wouldn't be a fantasy - and it's far more fun to fantasise about someone else ... It's hard to explain.

 

[sandra753]

I had been thinking about this for quite a while. Every time I masturbate I have a bit of a hard time thinking about my SO. I don't believe that it means he doesn't turn me on because we have a pretty awesome sex life and this used to happen with other partners as well, I've never fantasized about the person I'm with it just feels kind of awkward for me.

Is that weird? Instead I fantasize about all my different fetishes and even when I try to incorporate my SO's face into the fantasy it just ends up not working.

Am I the only one? Who or what do you fantasize about?

I feel that way as well,I think its natural when your pleasing yourself to open your mind to New things that your so may not be into and you dont have to worry about that awkward moment

 

[drgold234966]

perhaps your brain/mind doesn't want your SO to appear in your fetishes - that has nothing to say about how healthy your sex life with him may or may not be. But perhaps part of the thrill of masterbating to your fantasies is the thrill of it not being him...

 

[xrxomcyd]

Sometimes I feel that the reason why I find it more difficult to think of my SO when masturbating is because for me, our sexuality is very much about being present to each other; so unless she is physically there, reacting and responding, panting and moaning, etc., so much of what makes her the amazing sexual being I know she is is just lacking. Whereas with others, not having made those deeper connections, the superficial level is more relatively satisfying because there is nothing else.

 

[Beck31]

Comment Removed Due To Personal Reasons

 

[sandra753]

People seem to not be able to read. The thread says MASTURBATION, not sex. God what's so hard to understand?

There missing out

 

[Riley69]

Masturbation fantasies

Louis C.K. talks about masturbating in his comedy routines.
His wife catches him and asks him, "Do you think about me when you do that?"
He says, "What, are you high??? I can think about ANYBODY when I do that! That is MAGICAL!"

Sure, think about the wife while jerking off... "Put the laundry IN the hamper not on TOP, you idiot!!!" Oh yeah, that's so hot!!! Thinking about her while she walks around in her dirty old robe and stinky slippers... "Oh yeah, that's what I like baby!" lol

George Carlin said he would always think about one of the girls in the neighborhood when he was jerking off, because it made it seem so real.
"Hey, this could really HAPPEN!!!"

For me, I think about my past lovers when I masturbate. Re-living past experiences is always hotter to me than a fantasy.

 

[SecretAgentMan7]

There missing out

... and they wonder why!

 

[jhuson]

Doooh!

 

[yankee13]

i completely understand...when i masturbate i tend to fantasize of things my SO is not into, so putting her into them is not right, and not a turn on. i can't say that i fantasize of anyone in particular, definitely particular body parts.

I don't think that it is necessarily a bad thing, and does give a way to think about and explore those extra kinks that i don't get a chance to live out for real.

 

[Ima_Vlakni]

I can honestly say that I have only ever once masturbated to thoughts of someone I was in a relationship with. That was only because it was my first lesbian "Experiment" and unfortunately she was content kissing and fondling over clothes because that was all fashion required you needed to do to be bi sexual.
She is still actually, a fair few years later, one of my favourite self pleasuring fantasies. I saw her a million times naked in the showers after our gym sessions but I never got to toucch or taste her properly.

 

[beingtrue2me]

I love my goofy and vanilla husband but I have often jilled to thoughts of someone else. I have an imagination that prolly could use a bit of toning down but that's me. Always has been. Mostly I fantasize about him doing things to me and vice versa but sometimes there are needs that I have that he cannot fulfill. I think about a former Litster a lot when I masturbate and lately about another one that just makes me gush. She is on here and I sure hope she doesn't read this.

 

[GimpyIntellect]

I spend the majority of my time fantasizing and masturbating to your significant other, Miss Vianne, so it all evens out in the end.