Queersetti
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Don't tell her. Just change your Facebook status to "it's complicated".
Married Guy Asking for Help
- Thread starter davion2308
- Start date
Don't tell her. Just change your Facebook status to "it's complicated".
moocha01
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grow some
Your wife is looking after your child and having another. Really! !! Your the biggest child she has, if you want to go fuck the co worker, then do it. Bet you ain't got the bollox to do that anyway, as for telling your wife, you and Co worker touch arms and share a sandwich, grow up! You love your wife and kids, you will just ride the waves of parenthood for a while, where you don't come first and domestic chores come around lot more than you cum! ! There is nothing more sexy in this world than a man putting his kid's and wife's needs before his own. Be a man that you would want your daughters to marry ,not a Prick that makes them never want to marry x
Your wife is looking after your child and having another. Really! !! Your the biggest child she has, if you want to go fuck the co worker, then do it. Bet you ain't got the bollox to do that anyway, as for telling your wife, you and Co worker touch arms and share a sandwich, grow up! You love your wife and kids, you will just ride the waves of parenthood for a while, where you don't come first and domestic chores come around lot more than you cum! ! There is nothing more sexy in this world than a man putting his kid's and wife's needs before his own. Be a man that you would want your daughters to marry ,not a Prick that makes them never want to marry x
davion2308
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I see you noticed the part where I don't want to have sex with this other woman.
moocha01
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Well no one is forcing you
If it brightens your day and no harm, then stop whinging and enjoy .
If it brightens your day and no harm, then stop whinging and enjoy .
IrezumiKiss
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Y'know, if it's all about being touched, I hear "cuddle parties" are still a thing.
Maybe hit up Craigslist, see if something's shaking up in your area?
Maybe hit up Craigslist, see if something's shaking up in your area?
Never ceases to piss me off that when someone asks for advice, most of the thread descends into a shit fest.
Anyway to the OP.
Clearly your wife and you are happily married, but she is not perfect (none of us are). If you are committed to the relationship, the marriage and your kids- do not look elsewhere to fulfil your needs. End of story.
With one young child and another on the way this is the worst possible time to make this an issue. Her plate is already full to overflowing. She has a young child with constant needs to be met- and another growing inside her that she is nurturing 24/7. Give the woman a break and be thankful that she has any time for you, and that things are OK in the bedroom. You need to deal with this issue on your own, quietly, for now. One child is difficult, being pregnant with a second, and then having a second, takes up a lot of headspace and is life changing, traumatic, stressful. For you to bring this up right now, could cause huge repercussions to your marriage.
I agree that tactile, physical contact is human nature. You have a young child. Kiss your child. Hug your child. Cuddle your child. Be tactile with your child. When the baby arrives- repeat the actions with the baby. Bond with both your children, and get your 'fix' of touchy feely from them. Kids love that.
When the new baby is a little older- I suggest at least one- and life has settled into a routine, the stress levels are reduced, then talk to your wife. Go to counselling if necessary. If this is a huge issue within your marriage- deal with it, get help, do what you can to fix it.
Looking outside your relationship to have your needs- however innocent- met with another woman is absolutely the last thing you need to do. Because, lets face it, its not innocent, is it? It may not be sexual, but its not innocent. Its inappropriate for a married man to touch another woman, even in a non sexual way. Do you really, really think that your wife will get this and approve and give her blessing?? Trust me, if she does, your marriage is on the rocks because she doesn't care. (And yes I know some marriages are open, but the description of yours does not sound like that)
You need to stop, immediately, what you have started with your work colleague. Go home and hug your child, repeatedly. Tell your wife you love her. And count your blessings that your marriage is 99% perfect. In a year or so, raise the subject with your wife and if you cannot fix things yourselves then, get help.
Trust me. No matter what way you cut it, and what excuses you have, you are betraying your wife by your actions. If she finds out, no matter how innocent your intentions, you could lose her.
Anyway to the OP.
Clearly your wife and you are happily married, but she is not perfect (none of us are). If you are committed to the relationship, the marriage and your kids- do not look elsewhere to fulfil your needs. End of story.
With one young child and another on the way this is the worst possible time to make this an issue. Her plate is already full to overflowing. She has a young child with constant needs to be met- and another growing inside her that she is nurturing 24/7. Give the woman a break and be thankful that she has any time for you, and that things are OK in the bedroom. You need to deal with this issue on your own, quietly, for now. One child is difficult, being pregnant with a second, and then having a second, takes up a lot of headspace and is life changing, traumatic, stressful. For you to bring this up right now, could cause huge repercussions to your marriage.
I agree that tactile, physical contact is human nature. You have a young child. Kiss your child. Hug your child. Cuddle your child. Be tactile with your child. When the baby arrives- repeat the actions with the baby. Bond with both your children, and get your 'fix' of touchy feely from them. Kids love that.
When the new baby is a little older- I suggest at least one- and life has settled into a routine, the stress levels are reduced, then talk to your wife. Go to counselling if necessary. If this is a huge issue within your marriage- deal with it, get help, do what you can to fix it.
Looking outside your relationship to have your needs- however innocent- met with another woman is absolutely the last thing you need to do. Because, lets face it, its not innocent, is it? It may not be sexual, but its not innocent. Its inappropriate for a married man to touch another woman, even in a non sexual way. Do you really, really think that your wife will get this and approve and give her blessing?? Trust me, if she does, your marriage is on the rocks because she doesn't care. (And yes I know some marriages are open, but the description of yours does not sound like that)
You need to stop, immediately, what you have started with your work colleague. Go home and hug your child, repeatedly. Tell your wife you love her. And count your blessings that your marriage is 99% perfect. In a year or so, raise the subject with your wife and if you cannot fix things yourselves then, get help.
Trust me. No matter what way you cut it, and what excuses you have, you are betraying your wife by your actions. If she finds out, no matter how innocent your intentions, you could lose her.
Reads like a personal problem.
davion2308
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Thank you
Thank you. That was lucid, well-written, and attainable.
I appreciate the help.
Thank you. That was lucid, well-written, and attainable.
I appreciate the help.
suckonsimon
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Davion,
I haven't read all the responses so forgive me if this has been said:
Please put this issue in the bigger picture of the whole of your life as a couple and as parents. A woman's expression of her connection to her man can change really dramatically over the years of her mid-life, and, given a good man who plays his part in life and is attentive and loving to her, the change is very commonly in the direction of wanting a lot more contact - and sex - as the years go over. I am 61. I had what you have when our children were very small - great sex but an absence of tender loving outside of that. Pal, that changed. It has stayed changed and my woman will these days often - daily I guess - initiate touch and caress or ask me to touch or hold or cuddle up to her.
Now here's the thing: for my own part, I am pretty certain that if I had allowed other liaisons to meet my need years ago, the whole thing for us, now, would probably be tragically different.
In a word, pal: Love and value your good woman as you obviously do; don't let other connections distract you from your desire for her; bide your time while you long for touch more, it may well be on its way.
Simon
I haven't read all the responses so forgive me if this has been said:
Please put this issue in the bigger picture of the whole of your life as a couple and as parents. A woman's expression of her connection to her man can change really dramatically over the years of her mid-life, and, given a good man who plays his part in life and is attentive and loving to her, the change is very commonly in the direction of wanting a lot more contact - and sex - as the years go over. I am 61. I had what you have when our children were very small - great sex but an absence of tender loving outside of that. Pal, that changed. It has stayed changed and my woman will these days often - daily I guess - initiate touch and caress or ask me to touch or hold or cuddle up to her.
Now here's the thing: for my own part, I am pretty certain that if I had allowed other liaisons to meet my need years ago, the whole thing for us, now, would probably be tragically different.
In a word, pal: Love and value your good woman as you obviously do; don't let other connections distract you from your desire for her; bide your time while you long for touch more, it may well be on its way.
Simon
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JohnnySavage
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Y'know, if it's all about being touched, I hear "cuddle parties" are still a thing.
Maybe hit up Craigslist, see if something's shaking up in your area?
The Summer DC Litogether is supposed to have a cuddle party on the second day.
GiggLeGasm
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if you didn't want to have sex with your coworker, you would have already stopped the nonsense.
You are welcome. Kind of speaking from experience. Good luck.
B
bi69todd
Guest
This seems like the most courteous thing to do. In addition, you could find an office buddy and jack off together while you tell him about it. Pay it forward!
Queersetti
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Well, having been here putting up with it for the better part of a month, it's no wonder you've run out of patience.
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Queersetti
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Sleeping off hangovers together does not, technically, constitute cuddling.
bluebell
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If you have to ask questions like this on purpose, Miss M is right, this is not innocent for you. There's a very real Pandora's Box of temptation on your mind. It may not be this work chick, but it's something you're thinking about. Getting out. Stepping out. Etc. You may or may not even admit that to yourself.
This touch thing could even be indicative of a bigger relationship issue you haven't considered yet (and may need to discuss with a counselor who doesn't suck).
Think about opening that Pandora's Box. If you wouldn't want your wife to open a box like that in a similar situation, then you probably shouldn't fondle the lid.
It's also illogical and not a little unreasonable to expect that one person on the whole planet is going to feed every single one of our big desires. Just because our partner doesn't hit every base doesn't mean they aren't a good mate. Take responsibility for your shit. Be a grown up. Not doing those things will probably cause some lifelong emotional destruction for you, your children, and your spouse.
Think of alternatives that don't cause upheaval. Re-read Query's (Que's) post again. And then read it again. And then read it again. Everything he said is spot-the-fuck-on. I second the massage suggestion REALLY REALLY A LOT, mostly for yourself, though maybe she would be interested in it herself sometime.
Also maybe watch the movie High Fidelity and pay special attention to the part at the end where he talks about the women's underwear.
This touch thing could even be indicative of a bigger relationship issue you haven't considered yet (and may need to discuss with a counselor who doesn't suck).
Think about opening that Pandora's Box. If you wouldn't want your wife to open a box like that in a similar situation, then you probably shouldn't fondle the lid.
It's also illogical and not a little unreasonable to expect that one person on the whole planet is going to feed every single one of our big desires. Just because our partner doesn't hit every base doesn't mean they aren't a good mate. Take responsibility for your shit. Be a grown up. Not doing those things will probably cause some lifelong emotional destruction for you, your children, and your spouse.
Think of alternatives that don't cause upheaval. Re-read Query's (Que's) post again. And then read it again. And then read it again. Everything he said is spot-the-fuck-on. I second the massage suggestion REALLY REALLY A LOT, mostly for yourself, though maybe she would be interested in it herself sometime.
Also maybe watch the movie High Fidelity and pay special attention to the part at the end where he talks about the women's underwear.
Lancecastor
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Bang her!
I suggest the Conference Room table, you standing, yelling "who's the chairman of the board, bitch? Who??"
It's always worked for me.
I suggest the Conference Room table, you standing, yelling "who's the chairman of the board, bitch? Who??"
It's always worked for me.
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