Margaret's Experimental Orgasms

[Bunnymaster]

Here's the new story...which means I have to start writing again.
I've got some ideas is there a place to shop them?

Whatever... please give me some feed back on this one.
Thanks in advance.


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=338985

 

[mjl2010]

I managed to read the entire first page.

I can't tell why exactly, but I was bored. Just...I dunno. There was no excitement. No anything except a naked woman, bound, and these two are basically abusing her and she likes it. But its clinically boring.

MJL

 

[starrkers]

I read it. If you hadn't specifically asked for feedback, I doubt I woud've made it through the first page without back clicking.
There's nothing there that makes me care about the characters. They are the written equivalent of stick figures.
The reason for the scene is never explained.
Overall my impression was "what's the point?"

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

My only thought on this story is "Clinical". That's why it's boring. No real action, just a type of "kindly torture" to force the woman to achieve orgasm.

Unfortunately, the characters are robotic, the story line is thin and the whole idea really pretty uninteresting.

Sorry.

 

[lloyd_5]

Like others have said, the actions of Eric, Janice and Margaret are never explained.

It's not really a story, and not erotic - just a clinical report.