Manwich

[Carnevil9]

The GF made sloppy joes for dinner the other night, and the label on the can gave me a great idea for a story: A witch who is secretly a man.

That's as far as I've gotten, but the title is too good to give up on. How could we spin the yarn?

1. A pre-op transvestite who is a member of a coven? Lives as a woman, tries to keep the other witches from finding out she still has a penis? Maybe one does find out, and they become secret lovers?

2. Two musicians who accidentally witness a mob hit and have to go on the lam? So they join an all-girl wiccan traveling band and try to blend in?

3. A single dude gets invited to a Halloween party, but he is running late and the only costume he can find is a traditional witch costume. He goes, and he makes such a convincing woman that all the other guys keep hitting on him. Does he accept, but says that he only does anal? Or does he let one of the lesbians at the party seduce him?

All free to a good home.

 

[LWulf]

Umm... isn't a male witch called a warlock?

 

[Carnevil9]

Umm... isn't a male witch called a warlock?

Maybe, but he's not a warlock. He's a regular dude, pretending to be a female witch.

 

[Hypoxia]

My initial image of 'manwich' is a man sandwich, a threesome. 'Manwitch' is tedious in comparison.

My next mental image emerges from the ending of my forever-rejected tale THE PHARMACIST (linked below) in which the mad druggist with huge chemically-enlarged genitalia must seek masturbatory relief via a top-loading clothes washer filled with chopped chicken liver. Replace the liver with Manwich(TM) and voila!

Next, and more gruesome, is the murder victim who's tossed into a wood-chipper and turned into Manwich(TM)-like porridge. Wait, wasn't that in FARGO?

EDIT: I'm reminded that SPAM is correctly spelled SpAm, for SPanish AMericans. That's right, the Hormel(TM) lunchmeat is really ground-up Latinos.

Oh, another image! Remember that the Hawai'ian chain was named the Sandwich Islands? OK, let's try a tropical pleasure resort archipelago, the Manwich Islands. Threesomes (or moresomes) only.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Umm... isn't a male witch called a warlock?

^^^^This

Maybe, but he's not a warlock. He's a regular dude, pretending to be a female witch.

I don't think a man can pretend to be a female witch, you can cross dress if you like, but you can't pretend to be a female witch any more than a woman can pretend to be a Daddy. No matter how many or how masculine your female legal guardians may be they are still Mothers by the current definition and cannot be fathers.

 

[StrayKat]

My warlock in WoW was definitely a girl

 

[Sean Renaud]

My warlock in WoW was definitely a girl

When WoW is terribly confused as to what terminology they use.

 

[StrayKat]

When WoW is terribly confused as to what terminology they use.

I am almost sure the good part of younger generation is more familiar with WoW terminology than "proper" one though.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I am almost sure the good part of younger generation is more familiar with WoW terminology than "proper" one though.

Possible but I doubt it. The younger generation are equal parts not retarded and can't show up on Lit anyway. WoW isn't that old.

 

[StrayKat]

You are probably right.
Having to deal with WoW community a several years ago I forgot that not everyone is as dense

 

[Sean Renaud]

You are probably right.
Having to deal with WoW community a several years ago I forgot that not everyone is as dense

I like the WoW community just fine for the record. I just think that when push comes to shove that even if there is a Prince item that can be used by women they know the difference between a Prince and a Princess, a Sorcerer and a Sorceress, I think Wizard is technically nonsexual. It's often used opposite witch but I don't believe there is any technical reason for that. I shall have to go looking.

 

[walkerlong]

^^^^This


I don't think a man can pretend to be a female witch, you can cross dress if you like, but you can't pretend to be a female witch any more than a woman can pretend to be a Daddy. No matter how many or how masculine your female legal guardians may be they are still Mothers by the current definition and cannot be fathers.

Of course you can pretend. Maybe you don't actually fool anybody, but that doesn't mean you can't pretend.