Male Forplay?

[lonewolf170]

Hi all of the Literotica how to community!

I was wondering how to get my gf to give me some forplay... Just realised that that is what is making me unhappy is that I spend 15+ mins getting her nice and ready for sex and she thinks because I am hard when I see her that she doesn't have do anything and is just liek stick it in me... For a guy that doesn't last long it's a let down.

Any ideas? should males even recieve forplay or am I just being picky now?

 

[SweetErika]

Explain to her foreplay is important to you, too, and your orgasm is much better when you have been teased beforehand. Ask her what type of foreplay she'd be comfortable doing with you (oral, manual stimulation, rubbing her pussy on you, using toys, etc.).

Is she having at least one orgasm in the 15 minutes you're spending on her? Have you asked her what she thinks about the amount of foreplay now? I ask because maybe this is stemming from her being dissatisfied and/or if you two spent more time on foreplay in general, you wouldn't feel like you didn't get enough attention.

ETA: And how about suggesting some sessions where all you do is learn what the other likes (no sex allowed)?

 

[bailadora]

Hi all of the Literotica how to community!

I was wondering how to get my gf to give me some forplay... Just realised that that is what is making me unhappy is that I spend 15+ mins getting her nice and ready for sex and she thinks because I am hard when I see her that she doesn't have do anything and is just liek stick it in me... For a guy that doesn't last long it's a let down.

Any ideas? should males even recieve forplay or am I just being picky now?

Huh? Why shouldn't/wouldn't males receive foreplay . You're human aren't you? I don't know of anyone who doesn't love to be caressed and fondled.

Please forgive me if this sounds like an obvious question, but have you tried talking to her about this? It's kind of hard to offer advice based upon the little bit of information you've given.

Why is she reluctant to invest in foreplay for you? I know that you mentioned something about not lasting very long, but is this your perception, or something that she has said to you? If you find this to be her concern, try changing your 'routine' a bit the next time you are together. Perhaps she could pleasure you to orgasm and then while you are in your refractory period, you could concentrate on her pleasure through foreplay. When you are ready to go again, you might find that you last longer during intercourse because you've had a previous orgasm.

Your best bet is to talk with her and find out what's going on. Best of luck to you.

PS - Ericka's idea of taking the time to slowly explore each other's bodies and finding out what each of you likes is a good one.

 

[human_male]

Fortunately for me, I prefer it when they just lie there all still like.

 

[lonewolf170]

Explain to her foreplay is important to you, too, and your orgasm is much better when you have been teased beforehand. Ask her what type of foreplay she'd be comfortable doing with you (oral, manual stimulation, rubbing her pussy on you, using toys, etc.).

Is she having at least one orgasm in the 15 minutes you're spending on her? Have you asked her what she thinks about the amount of foreplay now? I ask because maybe this is stemming from her being dissatisfied and/or if you two spent more time on foreplay in general, you wouldn't feel like you didn't get enough attention.

ETA: And how about suggesting some sessions where all you do is learn what the other likes (no sex allowed)?

Yea she gets an orgasm everytime... I love pleasing her.

Sry for the lack of info... Just came to this realization today and have yet to talk to her... just wanted to formulate ideas.

And It's me that thinks intercourse doesn't last long. She says it's fine. But I don't think it is. It just happens so soon and I feel down about it so I was thinking with longer foreplay with me included it would make me feel better, just getting more pleasure that 30 secsish when i give her 15+ mins.

 

[jerrys1]

lonewolf I too have the same problem as you and yes my wife cums before i enter her. she also says it's fine but i feel neglected and inadequit. i've talked to her about it and she says to give me oral makes her feel degrated and she doen't like it. she also will not have sex unless i eat her first. to answer the obvious question i don't last long on the first so if i want to realy enjoy sex i have to go elsewere and thats not an option for me. hope yours goes better.

 

[SweetErika]

Yea she gets an orgasm everytime... I love pleasing her.

Sry for the lack of info... Just came to this realization today and have yet to talk to her... just wanted to formulate ideas.

And It's me that thinks intercourse doesn't last long. She says it's fine. But I don't think it is. It just happens so soon and I feel down about it so I was thinking with longer foreplay with me included it would make me feel better, just getting more pleasure that 30 secsish when i give her 15+ mins.

If she says the length is fine, trust her on that.

And talk to her about your desire for more foreplay. You're not going to get anywhere without good communication!

If she's not cool with more foreplay, maybe you two aren't such a great match sexually, and you should evaluate whether or not you can be happy with no foreplay or the rest of your life.

lonewolf I too have the same problem as you and yes my wife cums before i enter her. she also says it's fine but i feel neglected and inadequit. i've talked to her about it and she says to give me oral makes her feel degrated and she doen't like it. she also will not have sex unless i eat her first. to answer the obvious question i don't last long on the first so if i want to realy enjoy sex i have to go elsewere and thats not an option for me. hope yours goes better.

Oral sex isn't the only kind of foreplay! She could stimulate you with her hands, body, toys, talk dirty, watch porn with you, etc. There are MANY ways to enjoy sex without oral.

If you want to last longer, you could also masturbate or do foreplay on yourself first. Get off or save the orgasm for sex, but there's no reason why you can't extend/heighten your pleasure all by yourself.

You guys need to trust your partners when they say they're satisfied and take responsibility for your own pleasure. You can do that by communicating your needs in non-accusatory ways, asking for what you want nicely (like, "Sweetie, I'd love it if you'd stroke my cock a little before sex") and pleasing yourselves. If all else fails, buck up and get rid of your current partners in favor of new partners who are more compatible.

See? You have A LOT of options besides being miserable and whining about it and cheating!

 

[lonewolf170]

SweetErika thanks for your advice, I actually talked it over with my girl a few nights ago and just expressed how i felt about the forplay and she said she didn't know and understood why I feel that way... Things are going better now thanks .

 

[bettigirl]

lonewolf I too have the same problem as you and yes my wife cums before i enter her. she also says it's fine but i feel neglected and inadequit. i've talked to her about it and she says to give me oral makes her feel degrated and she doen't like it. she also will not have sex unless i eat her first. to answer the obvious question i don't last long on the first so if i want to realy enjoy sex i have to go elsewere and thats not an option for me. hope yours goes better.

So, let me understand, it is degrading for her to perform oral, but expected that you do if you want to have sex? Did I misunderstand something? You could have foreplay with yourself first, but in a loving relationship, reciprocation is everything and you shouldnt really have to go it alone. Have you talked to your wife about this? Foreplay is part of intimacy, if she is uncomfortable with performing oral, is she unwilling to do anything else in order to make it an equally pleasurable experience? No one should feel inadequate or neglected in a relationship, it is not healthy and will strain the marital bond outside of the "bedroom". Its a matter of determining what works best for both of you and exploring your boundaries together. Can you talk to her about this?