Hey, as I mentioned before, my new girlfriend and I are planning to have a "soecial" night and start our sex life with one another, the thing is, she doesn't like using condoms when she has sex, and neither do I... she mainly uses the withdrawal method when she has sex. My last girlfriend was on birth control, so she didn't care, I came inside her, etc. Now... I know that withdrawal has HUGE risks, but she refuses to go on birth control for some ungodly reason... I dont want to start using condoms if I dont have to, and I also dont want to be a father... so... what Im wondering is, aside from getting the "little snip", are there any ways to make myself basically temporarily sterile? Liek, a pill or something that might do it? I dont plan to cum inside this girl, because she's not on the BC, but either way, it would make me feel better if I didn't have to worry as much. I might sound dumb asking this, but any suggestions aside from abstinance (haha) are welcome.
Making myself "Sterile"?
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Stiffy Says...
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The snippage, while not pleasant, is not a bad way to go.
But ask a guy who's had it done for the true timetable till "normalcy" afterward - doctors like to say it heals quicker than it really does.
Once you're healed though, damn it is nice not to have to wonder anymore!
But ask a guy who's had it done for the true timetable till "normalcy" afterward - doctors like to say it heals quicker than it really does.
Once you're healed though, damn it is nice not to have to wonder anymore!
Bobmi357
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At the moment there is NO FDA approved Male Birth Control drug. There are several which are being researched and even a few undergoing limited testing. But thats it.
I can understand your girlfriend's reluctance to go on some sort of birth control. The drug isn't 100% side effect free, and there is a noted link between cancer and smoking females beyond the age of 35. BC drugs are just that, drugs, with side effects that can impact on someone's life and lifestyle. That a vast number of women can take them and have them do exactly what they are designed to do is great, and a testament to humanity's scientific inguinity.
Your choices are as follows.
1) Use a condom.
2) Abstinence.
3) Never Engage in PIV sex, limit yourself to anal and oral only.
4) Get a vasectomy.
The simple fact is your girlfriend has laid the responsibility of the birth control firmly in your court. Personally I think this is wrong of her to push it all on your shoulders. It takes two to make a baby and both partners should assume some responsibility for the birth control issue.
In regard to the vasectomy issue, I have never had one. But I know men that have, and have, myself had surgery in that particular area. Sure its an in office procedure, what they fail to mention is the pain and discomfort that follows for the next week. Surgery, of any type, is an assault on the body and the body responds by rushing extra blood to the area to speed healing, and causing swelling in the process. I'm not trying to talk you out of getting one, but if you're going to do this, you need to know its not all peaches and cream. You will not be able to get it in the morning, boff your girlfriend that afternoon and go bowling that night. Also think long and hard about it, its not reversable. If there is even the slightest chance that you may want children someday, find another alternative!
I can understand your girlfriend's reluctance to go on some sort of birth control. The drug isn't 100% side effect free, and there is a noted link between cancer and smoking females beyond the age of 35. BC drugs are just that, drugs, with side effects that can impact on someone's life and lifestyle. That a vast number of women can take them and have them do exactly what they are designed to do is great, and a testament to humanity's scientific inguinity.
Your choices are as follows.
1) Use a condom.
2) Abstinence.
3) Never Engage in PIV sex, limit yourself to anal and oral only.
4) Get a vasectomy.
The simple fact is your girlfriend has laid the responsibility of the birth control firmly in your court. Personally I think this is wrong of her to push it all on your shoulders. It takes two to make a baby and both partners should assume some responsibility for the birth control issue.
In regard to the vasectomy issue, I have never had one. But I know men that have, and have, myself had surgery in that particular area. Sure its an in office procedure, what they fail to mention is the pain and discomfort that follows for the next week. Surgery, of any type, is an assault on the body and the body responds by rushing extra blood to the area to speed healing, and causing swelling in the process. I'm not trying to talk you out of getting one, but if you're going to do this, you need to know its not all peaches and cream. You will not be able to get it in the morning, boff your girlfriend that afternoon and go bowling that night. Also think long and hard about it, its not reversable. If there is even the slightest chance that you may want children someday, find another alternative!
phoenix1224
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Is she willing to use spermicide?
They have it with an applicator that looks a bit like a tampon applicator... So it only takes about a minute to 'insert and inject' it.
Ask her about it.
They have it with an applicator that looks a bit like a tampon applicator... So it only takes about a minute to 'insert and inject' it.
Ask her about it.
Lynxie
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And don't forget - pregnancy and disease are both still issues, whether or not you cum inside her. "Withdrawal" is not an effective method of birth control, since precum contains sperm just like the real thing.
If your partner doesn't want you to use condoms (which I think is silly), you might want to consider everything suggested in the posts above mine, or look into other methods like diaphragms or cervical caps that she could get from her doctor.
Do a little more reading before your big night and find out more about the various types of birth control and disease prevention. Planned Parenthood has a wealth of information that you would probably find helpful. Good luck, have fun, and stay safe!
If your partner doesn't want you to use condoms (which I think is silly), you might want to consider everything suggested in the posts above mine, or look into other methods like diaphragms or cervical caps that she could get from her doctor.
Do a little more reading before your big night and find out more about the various types of birth control and disease prevention. Planned Parenthood has a wealth of information that you would probably find helpful. Good luck, have fun, and stay safe!
What about really hot showers? Sperm need to be kept at a cool temperature, so heating them up should do the job.
I knew a guy who kept a piece of Uranium ore in his pocket figuring the allpha radiaton would sterilize him temporaily. Not my ecommendation.
I knew a guy who kept a piece of Uranium ore in his pocket figuring the allpha radiaton would sterilize him temporaily. Not my ecommendation.
Ljbonobo
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vargas111 said:
If you're a male you should know what your body does in response to temperature. If its hot, they hang low, if its cold they come up. Don't you know the defnition of hypothermia is when your dick is up to your bellybutton on the inside?
Your body is very efficient at thermostasis. I highly doubt that any effect you could get with a hot shower would be enough for any sort of sterilization, otherwise we would know about it. The temperatures that would probably be necessary would probably also cause severe burns to the area.
Actually, we do know about it. Hot baths, hot tubbing, saunas, and the like are all very well-known big no-nos for guys trying to become daddies. I certainly wouldn't rely on hot showers to serve as birth control, though. That's flat-out nuts. Er, so to speak.
Stiffy Says...
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vargas111 said:
Ok, Uranium? Horrible idea. Heat via a shower, hot tub, etc - try it, and wait for a kid to be calling you daddy.
Before going so far as to get a vasectomy, I consulted with many doctors, did hours of research and talked with those that had vasectomy. Outside of abstinence, a vasectomy with proper medical follow up and sperm count testing afterword is the best option. Not wanting to go so drastic? Try condoms.
I can empathize with your lady not wanting to whack out her hormones via female birth control. I dated a lady who swore by Depro - and her once every three month periods were frightening in their severity, so I begged her to get off of them and let me take the reins of responsibility for birth control.
Be a man, but be smart. That is my advice.
Stiffy...
If you are a man capable of multiple orgasms you might consider masturbating a few times through the day before you go to see her. This will work to empty your testicles of any current sperm and quickly reduce your sperm count and decrease the likelyhood of her becoming pregnant since it takes time for your body to produce more sperm. On a side note this also usually increases a mans stamina. Like the whole withdrawl thing I wouldn't count on this as by any means near perfect but it's biologically sound according to my physiology professor.
I think your best bet is one that's mentioned above...find out if she'll use another form of BC like a foam or insert with s spermacide.
I think your best bet is one that's mentioned above...find out if she'll use another form of BC like a foam or insert with s spermacide.
FinePhilly
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Spermicide is not reliable on it's own.
intelligencenazi
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Have you heard of film?
http://www.mypleasure.com/education/contraception/vaginal_contraceptive_film.asp
It should be sitting with the condoms at your local store. It's not as effective as condoms or birth control, but it's certainly better than relying on pulling out or a hot shower. I haven't used it personally (I'm on birth control and anyone I don't love uses a condom) but a friend of mine uses it and absolutely loves it. She says it's convenient, you don't notice it once it's in, and she hasn't gotten pregnant yet.
http://www.mypleasure.com/education/contraception/vaginal_contraceptive_film.asp
It should be sitting with the condoms at your local store. It's not as effective as condoms or birth control, but it's certainly better than relying on pulling out or a hot shower. I haven't used it personally (I'm on birth control and anyone I don't love uses a condom) but a friend of mine uses it and absolutely loves it. She says it's convenient, you don't notice it once it's in, and she hasn't gotten pregnant yet.
Dannyblake
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"there is a noted link between cancer and smoking females beyond the age of 35"
Sorry, I know that the quote is off topic, but I love it when medical science states statistically what should already be the terribly obvious...
Sorry, I know that the quote is off topic, but I love it when medical science states statistically what should already be the terribly obvious...
BlueSugar
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FinePhilly said:
no but when coupled with a diaphram its fine. Ask her to look into this, and go together. Quick easy, done and done. There is also a "natural" birth control. Its a quick painful incision of a piece of plastic and copper that the Dr. places inside her uterus. She has the option of hormones. Its just a little risky for the first couple of weeks to have sex, and ya have to check for the string in her canal a few times a week.
But it isn't permanent, she still has periods, and it lasts for something like a year to six.
In indian and desert cultures, they would stuff honey and sticks up into the women to use like a blockage. Then they found that sticking a piece of copper inside the uterus works as well. They knew it had healing powers and it acted like birth control as a side effect.
Disclaimer: I AM NOT TELLING YOU IN ANY WAY TO SICK PENNIES OR COPPER UP INTO YOUR GIRLFRIEND .... IT IS DIRTY AND WONT WORK W/O PROPER MEDICAL PROCEDURES.
drummer34
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USE A CONDOM - or stick to petting. All those "hot bath", masturbate much, ....., methods are fairytales THEY DON'T WORK EOS. Standard contraceptives are not 100% effective mind you but they ar very much better than the rest.
I've had a vasectomy and i like it (the surgery wasn't that painfull really) a lot BUT i have two kids 2 and 18 now) and i don't want more. A Vasectomy is a one-way affair, i know it has been tried to "repair" one and it has succeded on a few occations but it is ectremely rare. The surgeon that operated me compared it to sewing two pieces of fine sewing string together.
I've had a vasectomy and i like it (the surgery wasn't that painfull really) a lot BUT i have two kids 2 and 18 now) and i don't want more. A Vasectomy is a one-way affair, i know it has been tried to "repair" one and it has succeded on a few occations but it is ectremely rare. The surgeon that operated me compared it to sewing two pieces of fine sewing string together.
Vixandra
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Use a condom if you don't want kids or some horrid STD.
If she won't use a condom with you then she probably hasn't used them reguarly with anyone else.
Would suck to become perminantly steril or dead because the two of you didn't enjoy sex as much with a condom on.
If she won't use a condom with you then she probably hasn't used them reguarly with anyone else.
Would suck to become perminantly steril or dead because the two of you didn't enjoy sex as much with a condom on.
You better listen to Vixandra. There really is no such thing as temporary sterility. This girl is playing russian roulette with her life, your life, and possibly the life of a not-yet-conceived child by wanting to have this type of risky sex.
It would be wise to have a talk with her about what her aversion to using condoms is, you've got to know what her motivation is on this one.
You say you don't like condoms either, this might because you are using the right kind. For the longest time, I didn't like them, because it felt like wearing a strait jacket, because I was using whatever was handy. Little did I realize that the condoms I was using were too small! I switched to Trojan Magnum, and I couldn't even tell that I was wearing one! Point is, experiment with rubbers, you might find that you like em, and you'll have a helluva a lot more peace of mind.
It would be wise to have a talk with her about what her aversion to using condoms is, you've got to know what her motivation is on this one.
You say you don't like condoms either, this might because you are using the right kind. For the longest time, I didn't like them, because it felt like wearing a strait jacket, because I was using whatever was handy. Little did I realize that the condoms I was using were too small! I switched to Trojan Magnum, and I couldn't even tell that I was wearing one! Point is, experiment with rubbers, you might find that you like em, and you'll have a helluva a lot more peace of mind.
UncleTom555
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not to hijack a thread or anything, but what kind of price range would a vasectomy fall in? Couple hundred? Thousands?
MissTaken
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My guess is that it is a few hundred bucks.
Most insurances and medicaid cover them and frankly, not only is a Vasectomy cheaper than a tubal, three days of discomfort for a man versus four weeks for a woman is something to consider.
(Depending on the procedures, of course.)
In any event, for those couple seeking permanent sterility, my recommendation goes with the vasectomy.
AND, it is not a matter of a sharp scalpel approaching your most sensitive area. It is typically done by lazer or something, and really isn't that bad.
Most insurances and medicaid cover them and frankly, not only is a Vasectomy cheaper than a tubal, three days of discomfort for a man versus four weeks for a woman is something to consider.
(Depending on the procedures, of course.)
In any event, for those couple seeking permanent sterility, my recommendation goes with the vasectomy.
AND, it is not a matter of a sharp scalpel approaching your most sensitive area. It is typically done by lazer or something, and really isn't that bad.
On the subject of vasectomies, nearly all insurance plans cover them. Most docs do the forceps method now, no scalpel even involved. They numb you up, and it really is literally a snip snip. A couple of days of soreness, and you're set. They do generally require around 30 ejaculations and a sperm count at the end of that period before they declare you Sunkist! The 30 popshot rule gives you a good reason to request more blowjobs 
You should consider it permanent, no matter what all the billboards say. Reversal is expensive, and results are afterwards tend to be hit or miss.
On the subject of Depo-Provera shots, research and discuss thoroughly with your doctor(s) before doing it, they have been linked to an increase of risk of some health conditions in women, and every woman that I know has gained a little bit of weight after taking it.
You should consider it permanent, no matter what all the billboards say. Reversal is expensive, and results are afterwards tend to be hit or miss. On the subject of Depo-Provera shots, research and discuss thoroughly with your doctor(s) before doing it, they have been linked to an increase of risk of some health conditions in women, and every woman that I know has gained a little bit of weight after taking it.
My last girlfriend was on Depo. She liked the fact that she didn't have to take a pill all the time, but she hated the fact that it acted up all the time. She would get like, really small periods for a few days, and she would get kinda sick and dizzy, and her breasts really hurt sometimes.
Stiffy Says...
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Three days of discomfort my ass...
No offense, but I have had one, a little over a year ago. Below is how it went:
I had the OHP (state insurance for poor people) do it.
You have one consultation with the doc, then more than 30 days after you can have it done. I paid $3 for the office copay, and for the prescription of vicodin.
I had to shave my scrotum, get a jock-strap (trust me - you get one done, you want one of these nasty contraptions - I used tighter briefs than normal, instead and should have went all out for the jock.) and visit the doc.
The day of the procedure, they shoot you up (you stay awake) and use a scalpel to slit the sides of the scrotum, one side at a time.
With each side, they pull a short length of the vas deferens out the incision, cut a 1 inch piece out of it, and use tiny, surgical steel clamps on each side, then they use a stitch or two of decomposing stitching to seal you back up.
(As a side note - the doc was kinda rough, and when yanking out the vas on one side, it felt as if I had been kicked - hard. I hyperventilated and almost passed out. Then the bastard left the "surgical leftovers" on a tray in the room while I calmed down...and on the way out he brushed the towel coveringit, so I got to see a piece of my internal man-spaghetti - almost tossed my cookies. Guess you get what you pay for.)
Upon leaving the doc, they tell you not to drive. I second that...I drove my roomie's car home (an automatic, thank god) via the pharmacy to get the vicodin they prescribed.
When I got home, the drugs from the doc were wearing off, and I sat on the couch for two days with bags of frozen peas on my crotch. Frozen peas were the best ice pack one could use. When they get warm, re-freeze them. Cheap stuff!
About 14 days after the procedure I could walk almost normally without pain, after a month it only hurt if the testes rolled the wrong way. I hear this is a more normal timetable, from other guys who have had the same procedure.
About 10 days after the procedure, I tried to masturbate, and shit did it hurt!!! It was just so fundamentally wrong...
About a month later I could use my tool regularly for masturbation. A few months later, I finally had another partner to have sex with, and the first couple of our romps I ended up in minor pain. To this day, marathon sex leaves me feeling those damn stainless steel clamps.
I do not regret the surgery - a little inconvenience (in the grand scheme of things - the first week after this procedure, I was not so stoic!)
Hope this helps some. If anyone here wants to IM me questions, feel free. This is not something I would advise someone doing without consulting some people who had it done for pointers.
Stiffy...
MissTaken said:My guess is that it is a few hundred bucks.
Most insurances and medicaid cover them and frankly, not only is a Vasectomy cheaper than a tubal, three days of discomfort for a man versus four weeks for a woman is something to consider.
(Depending on the procedures, of course.)
In any event, for those couple seeking permanent sterility, my recommendation goes with the vasectomy.
AND, it is not a matter of a sharp scalpel approaching your most sensitive area. It is typically done by lazer or something, and really isn't that bad.
No offense, but I have had one, a little over a year ago. Below is how it went:
I had the OHP (state insurance for poor people) do it.
You have one consultation with the doc, then more than 30 days after you can have it done. I paid $3 for the office copay, and for the prescription of vicodin.
I had to shave my scrotum, get a jock-strap (trust me - you get one done, you want one of these nasty contraptions - I used tighter briefs than normal, instead and should have went all out for the jock.) and visit the doc.
The day of the procedure, they shoot you up (you stay awake) and use a scalpel to slit the sides of the scrotum, one side at a time.
With each side, they pull a short length of the vas deferens out the incision, cut a 1 inch piece out of it, and use tiny, surgical steel clamps on each side, then they use a stitch or two of decomposing stitching to seal you back up.
(As a side note - the doc was kinda rough, and when yanking out the vas on one side, it felt as if I had been kicked - hard. I hyperventilated and almost passed out. Then the bastard left the "surgical leftovers" on a tray in the room while I calmed down...and on the way out he brushed the towel coveringit, so I got to see a piece of my internal man-spaghetti - almost tossed my cookies. Guess you get what you pay for.)
Upon leaving the doc, they tell you not to drive. I second that...I drove my roomie's car home (an automatic, thank god) via the pharmacy to get the vicodin they prescribed.
When I got home, the drugs from the doc were wearing off, and I sat on the couch for two days with bags of frozen peas on my crotch. Frozen peas were the best ice pack one could use. When they get warm, re-freeze them. Cheap stuff!
About 14 days after the procedure I could walk almost normally without pain, after a month it only hurt if the testes rolled the wrong way. I hear this is a more normal timetable, from other guys who have had the same procedure.
About 10 days after the procedure, I tried to masturbate, and shit did it hurt!!! It was just so fundamentally wrong...
About a month later I could use my tool regularly for masturbation. A few months later, I finally had another partner to have sex with, and the first couple of our romps I ended up in minor pain. To this day, marathon sex leaves me feeling those damn stainless steel clamps.
I do not regret the surgery - a little inconvenience (in the grand scheme of things - the first week after this procedure, I was not so stoic!)
Hope this helps some. If anyone here wants to IM me questions, feel free. This is not something I would advise someone doing without consulting some people who had it done for pointers.
Stiffy...
My vasectomy wasn't nearly as dramatic as Stiffy's. It hurt a bit for a few days, but it wasn't anything that Tylenol couldn't handle. I didn't even bother filling the prescription for the pain killer my doc gave me. The worst part to me was when he originally shot me up. Once I was numb I never felt a thing. The only other nasty part was that I actually heard the "snips". It wasn't hard to picture exactly what was happening. I wish I had gone in with some headphones or something.
In my case, insurance picked up the whole thing. I guess they figure it's cheaper than another baby.
As for the guys who are a little chicken - I looked at it this way. My wife was able to give vaginal birth to three kids. I was there each time and saw what she went though. My logic was that if she can put her privates (not to mention the rest of her body) through that hell three times, the least I could do was let the doc perform a relatively minor procedure on mine. Not something I'd want to do more than once, but I've been through worse things.
Back to the temporary sterilization question, if you are absolutely, positively determined to have sex without protection, you could at try the rythmn method. It's far from 100% accurate, but if you avoid the 24-48 hour period each month your girlfriend is ovulating, in theory you'll likely be ok. Problem is, even those women who are very regular with their periods aren't so perfect you can always accurately predict when that will happen. Despite the fact I'm writing this, I don't recommend it at all. This does nothing to protect you from disease, but if you're really determined, I guess this is better than nothing.
In my case, insurance picked up the whole thing. I guess they figure it's cheaper than another baby.
As for the guys who are a little chicken - I looked at it this way. My wife was able to give vaginal birth to three kids. I was there each time and saw what she went though. My logic was that if she can put her privates (not to mention the rest of her body) through that hell three times, the least I could do was let the doc perform a relatively minor procedure on mine. Not something I'd want to do more than once, but I've been through worse things.
Back to the temporary sterilization question, if you are absolutely, positively determined to have sex without protection, you could at try the rythmn method. It's far from 100% accurate, but if you avoid the 24-48 hour period each month your girlfriend is ovulating, in theory you'll likely be ok. Problem is, even those women who are very regular with their periods aren't so perfect you can always accurately predict when that will happen. Despite the fact I'm writing this, I don't recommend it at all. This does nothing to protect you from disease, but if you're really determined, I guess this is better than nothing.
