making him last longer

[GiggLeGasm]

at the risk of opening the forbidden topic, being the first is not the same as being the only. I have certainly known of people (men and women) who could choose to orgasm very quickly with some and not so quickly with others.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Perhaps holding up a picture of Sarah Jessica Parker when he is nearing orgasm would delay it. Or playing Nickelback in the background would kill any erection within twelve miles.

I'll agree with the others... Once a month would not be enough to produce ANY stamina. I'm pretty sure I'd be foaming cum at the mouth if I got backed up for a month. I had to wait for like 4 days after a vasectomy and 10 days or so after a UTI and I was ready to die. Holy shit 30 days is a long time, if that's his only time having an orgasm.

Are you two okay with that frequency? When you say you're having sex more often now, how often is that?

You said he came after he went down on you? Did he just shoot it off willy nilly? Like, was he having a wank? Or just cumming from the goodness of giving oral?

Does HE know this is a problem? I mean, if he's cumming so quickly, he may not realize that you're not enjoying the session as much as he is. Some guys are clueless. Not me, of course.

 

[Acktion]

Two words. Kenny G

Wait, that's one word and an initial...

 

[Cumference]

Two words. Kenny G

Wait, that's one word and an initial...

Do you think that playing the saxophone during sex would help?
http://www.audio-music.info/pic/Kenny_G.jpg

Of course his last name is "Gorelick" and he flies a "De Havilland Beaver".... But this isn't really about puns.

 

[Cumference]

Any news?

Did anything work?

 

[In Anticipation]

Any news?

Did anything work?

Let's hope it worked so well they're still at it.

 

[DesmondinExile]

I'm surprised no one has brought up cockrings. Rings combined with PC muscle exercises can work out really well for longer sex. And the great thing is he won't lose any sensation. Just be sure to use a lot of lube and buy a quality one. babeland.com is my go to place if the sex stores in your area are on the shady side.


forgot to add the link http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/use-a-cock-ring
One more link for you on how to put one on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ynAeig3vo8

 

[littlecordelera]

This may have been covered, but I couldn't find it.

It's frustrating.

My husband doesn't last long in bed at all. I can't figure it out. We try different positions, different techniques, take our time, go fast, lights off, lights on, etc.

Sex will last maybe 5-6 minutes if we're lucky. If there is foreplay we last longer, but as soon as there is penetration....it's 1..2..3..over.

Anybody have any ideas? I want it to last so much longer and i'm ready for rounds 2-6 immediately after, but he isn't.

Help!!

My husband and I have been together for 15 years. He had a very short fuse when we met and he has a very short fuse now. However, there is one thing that can make him last.

If he brings himself to the very edge of orgasm, so close that he actually has a small one and then waits for it to subside, then after that he can continue having sex like a normal guy. He has to tell me "Don't move!" when he gets close, and believe me, I have to remain absolutely, positively still. It takes some practice, for him, but it works.

 

[BSBorgess]

I swear by the simple techniques in the Tao of Sex...Google it. I can last for hours. Secret is not trying to come. Stopping at that point.

Yes.. the Set of Nines is amazing for both male and female.

 

[spacekapitan]

I am by no means qualified to offer advice in this area but you could get him to practise edging when he masturbates, it's certainly helped me last a lot longer.

do share how is this edging practise is done?

 

[vibes]

As someone else said morning sex tends to last longer, for me that means TOO long, as I take forever, the OP might think that is perfect but it has its downside.

Indeed. And yet I am much more of a pm sex person

 

[StrayKat]

Indeed. And yet I am much more of a pm sex person

What happened to Skype sex person?

 

[vibes]

What happened to Skype sex person?

Smartass post meridiem

 

[Aphro]

My husband and I have been together for 15 years. He had a very short fuse when we met and he has a very short fuse now. However, there is one thing that can make him last.

If he brings himself to the very edge of orgasm, so close that he actually has a small one and then waits for it to subside, then after that he can continue having sex like a normal guy. He has to tell me "Don't move!" when he gets close, and believe me, I have to remain absolutely, positively still. It takes some practice, for him, but it works.

This sounds interesting, but difficult to achieve. When you continue, does he eventually have a full orgasm? I'd never heard of a man having a "mini orgasm".

I'm sorry, but I had to LOL at "he can continue having sex like a 'normal' guy..."

 

[littlecordelera]

This sounds interesting, but difficult to achieve. When you continue, does he eventually have a full orgasm? I'd never heard of a man having a "mini orgasm".

I'm sorry, but I had to LOL at "he can continue having sex like a 'normal' guy..."

A mini-orgasm is a good description. He actually has two or three small contractions and dribbles a little bit, but if I move the slightest bit or say something provocative, forget it. He loses it. If it works, then he can continue on and he will have a full orgasm in a respectable amount of time.

It's not all the difficult to achieve as long as I do my part, which sometimes goes off in my head like, "DON'T FUCKING MOVE!" These days we are probably successful about 60% of the time. It took practice, but I don't remember how long before we could get to happen the majority of times.

No need to apologize for the LOL. My husband will be the first to admit he is not much in bed.

 

[In Anticipation]

A mini-orgasm is a good description. He actually has two or three small contractions and dribbles a little bit, but if I move the slightest bit or say something provocative, forget it. He loses it. If it works, then he can continue on and he will have a full orgasm in a respectable amount of time.

It's not all the difficult to achieve as long as I do my part, which sometimes goes off in my head like, "DON'T FUCKING MOVE!" These days we are probably successful about 60% of the time. It took practice, but I don't remember how long before we could get to happen the majority of times.

No need to apologize for the LOL. My husband will be the first to admit he is not much in bed.

Something provocative? Usually that's going to start with 'when are you going to fix that . . .'

 

[Acktion]

I was trying very hard not to get involved in this particular thread (beyond my flippant reply regarding Kenny G and it was really hard not to involve Michael Bolton in the mix). Not least because I'm used to people having disbelieving responses when I write in some of my own experiences.

In my younger years, I actually went more the opposite direction. And lost no few romantic affairs because I would keep going and going and going long after the point when my partner had had enough and for the love of God, would you please stop long enough to let me catch my breath?!

However, a couple of things that I'm not sure but may or may not have been overlooked.

Prescription medications do affect this. As do drugs, even unrecognized ones such as caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Diet and exercise are also important as is age. Even a relatively "small thing" such as whether he is circumcised or not can make a tremendous difference. (Uncircumcised tend to be more sensitive.)

But, the single biggest thing that can have a huge impact on this is individual masturbatory practices.

The thing is that the way that I got to that point was... mmm... more of a workout than anything even remotely erotic. (And it may or may not have to do with some of that workout occurring during formative years when the body is trying to reach it's equilibrium with certain hormonal changes that can not (and should not) be explored in open forum.)

I think the thing that I would ask you to pause and consider is whether you really want him to be able to pump away inside you for up to an hour before he climaxes and then be able to keep going for another five or six more of his climaxes. (When I did count hers, 22 was the highest we got and we had to pause because her eyesight failed and we both panicked. Something to do with bloodflow to the optic nerve according to the ER nurse who slipped her number in my butt pocket.)

The thing is, I don't know any short term fixes for this. Only what I did in the long term. And I would really really suggest being cautious doing so both for what it may do to him and to your relationship.

In a nutshell; Masturbation as a workout.

More often than not, when people (and especially guys) masturbate, they are in it to get off and go on with their lives. Whatever gets them to the point that they cum in the shortest time possible is what they go with. And usually, they wait until they are "in the mood" (translation; "horny") to begin. As a result, they typically find the same thing happening to them "in the moment". At the risk of getting "too scientific", they engender a Pavlovian conditioned response to sex of any flavor.

What I... er, I mean "this friend of mine who shall remain nameless", did was that he made himself engage in masturbation when he wasn't already aroused. Occasionally even at times when he really didn't want to because he was raw and sore from a previous "workout".

To make matters worse, I... I mean, he didn't allow himself to cum before he reached a certain time with one eye on the clock gradually increasing the time until he could reach one hour.

Not content with what he had managed, this "friend" would continue to masturbate through ejaculation in attempts to maintain his erection for longer until he could achieve another climax.

It took years, but eventually, "he" was able to maintain an erection for up to three to four hours and experience up to seven orgasms before requiring rest. Every single day.

Any indifferent student of Physiology or even Kinesiology will tell you that allowing the blood to pool in the penile tissues for that long a period on a persistent basis falls under the heading of "A Bad Idea".

However, the psychological and hormonal impacts can be even worse. One of many difficulties was that... *ahem*... this friend began to dissociate the sexual act from the emotional interactions that probably should be involved with them. And, it became difficult for a single partner to satisfy the urges that he had stirred in himself.

Can he use the same "exercises" to the same effect? Mmm. Maybe not the precise same, since I don't think we are talking about a teenager here. But, maybe it could help to increase stamina and libido some at least. And he's probably old enough to know better than to push it to the extremes that I... I mean my friend did.

 

[Elixxxher]

Try penetrating her until you feel like you're getting near, but not close, then pull out and wait for 20 seconds or so. Get back in there and repeat a few more times. Built up your control over time. Be patient. One thing I've found helpful is to stand beside the bed and have my wife positioned right at the edge. Better for both of us and I have a lot more control. Good luck.

 

[CapnCuddly]

Try not to fart

 

[BiTodd]

This sounds interesting, but difficult to achieve. When you continue, does he eventually have a full orgasm? I'd never heard of a man having a "mini orgasm".

I'm sorry, but I had to LOL at "he can continue having sex like a 'normal' guy..."

The practice of edging and then stopping at the very edge is a great method to continue. And yes those close mini orgasms are a fact. Most men equate ejaculating and orgasm. Actually ejaculating is one thing and orgasm is another. Most mens orgasms are accompianied with an ejaculation. But we can learn through practice to orgasm with out ejaculation. Hence a mini orgasm with out full blown cumming. Men that are good at this can then learn to have more than one, even multiple orgasms prior to the "big one " really strong pc muscles will help acheive this goal.

 

[spacekapitan]

My husband and I have been together for 15 years. He had a very short fuse when we met and he has a very short fuse now. However, there is one thing that can make him last.

If he brings himself to the very edge of orgasm, so close that he actually has a small one and then waits for it to subside, then after that he can continue having sex like a normal guy. He has to tell me "Don't move!" when he gets close, and believe me, I have to remain absolutely, positively still. It takes some practice, for him, but it works.

nice tips. thanks.

luckily my partner can climax easily and even after ejaculated, my member is still hard, so I just pust it in an
d until she climaxed.

 

[ACV]

It's all in the breathing for me, if you can control your breathing, you can show yourself down when you need to!
Just bring self-aware and knowing when you are on the edge is key!

 

[spacekapitan]

It's all in the breathing for me, if you can control your breathing, you can show yourself down when you need to!
Just bring self-aware and knowing when you are on the edge is key!

please elaborate on this breathing technique.

 

[ACV]

please elaborate on this breathing technique.

It's literally as simple as just breathing...thinking about breathing anyway. When you know you're coming to the edge, start focusing on taking deep breaths and keep thinking about them until the moment passes! It works! And if it doesn't, keep trying

 

[hangdawg]

When I was first married I got a book about Male Multiple Orgasm.
It was a somewhat long book for the amount of actual information that was in it. But, basically it said the same thing as a poster a couple posts up the thread. Orgasm and ejaculation are not one in the same.
So the book gave some workout advice - Male Kegels basically. He will recognize the muscle as the one he would clamp down to stop a flow of urine. If he needs to, send him to the bathroom to find it. Do them riding in the car, watching TV, etc. Second advice was to masturbate until you felt you were going to cum and then stop. This can be done together, however, he is trying to figure something out so it's probably better if OP didn't do the stroking. There's a very fine line, especially when first starting, and you may not stop quick enough. The more you do that the more you are able to realize the point of no return. The point of no return is where even if you stopped any kind of action on the penis ejaculation and orgasm will still occur. Some people in this thread have suggested using that point as a pausing point and then starting again. My experience with that is unless I pause for quite a long time that point of no return returns very quickly. The book, after you've done your Kegels and can now realize the "line" separating orgasm from ejaculation, said to make sure your eyes are open (can't quite remember the reasoning on this part) and right before you reach the point of no return you keep on pumping but clamp down on your new Schwarzenegger-esque muscle. The result is what's called retrograde ejaculation. The ejaculate will be blocked by your Man Kegels and go into your bladder (which can cause a cloudy urine which is not harmful). So you get the orgasm feeling which is cool. The other result is that after his orgasm he should not lose his erection which saves time waiting for the refractory period (time from orgasm to when he can get hard again) and he also should last longer as each orgasm happens. However, even if he is going to ejaculate again too quickly for you he can do this method again and again. He can keep up this type of orgasm until he, you, or both of you decide it's time for the fun to be over. At that point he can just continue until he feels ready to orgasm and just have a typical orgasm like he's used to now.
This takes a bit of practice and testing but actually works very well.