Make Love Not Porn

[NippleMuncher]

Interesting perspective, not unremarkably, mirroring my own.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV8n_E_6Tpc

This is the extended version of the talk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm7cVImCJ6U

 

[NippleMuncher]

Yes, to the rational, experienced adult, "you don't" is the right answer, and as we here at the How To like to point out, porn is not real. The thing is, this little corner of the web is not accessible to those that need it most, our impressionable youth, who for lack of better roll models, turn to porn for their information. Worse, is when they turn to their peers.

I was actually having a similar conversation to this at the pub with a friend. I was saying that it is the lack of information that causes kids to go out and explore on their own, not the excess of information. A guy tapped me on the shoulder as he was returning from the bathroom to commend me my comments.

I get the whole protecting kids from shit they're not ready for, but adults need to start listening to their kids and answering their questions, honestly and accurately, when they start becoming aware of their sexuality. If YOU don't teach them, then they are relegated to learn from the internet (porn ) and their peers. We've all but castrated our schools from being able to teach anything relevant to sex, so parents are the only hope.

 

[IntmtStrngr]

hey...

Yes, to the rational, experienced adult, "you don't" is the right answer, and as we here at the How To like to point out, porn is not real. The thing is, this little corner of the web is not accessible to those that need it most, our impressionable youth, who for lack of better roll models, turn to porn for their information. Worse, is when they turn to their peers.

I was actually having a similar conversation to this at the pub with a friend. I was saying that it is the lack of information that causes kids to go out and explore on their own, not the excess of information. A guy tapped me on the shoulder as he was returning from the bathroom to commend me my comments.

I get the whole protecting kids from shit they're not ready for, but adults need to start listening to their kids and answering their questions, honestly and accurately, when they start becoming aware of their sexuality. If YOU don't teach them, then they are relegated to learn from the internet (porn ) and their peers. We've all but castrated our schools from being able to teach anything relevant to sex, so parents are the only hope.

I haven't read through all the comments generated by the original post but I would like to raise a point. That being that whether you accept porn as a REALITY in your world (your mind,) it still doesn't make any less REAL of an event. A distinction that one as prolific as yourself might have recognized and made in your statement.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I haven't read through all the comments generated by the original post but I would like to raise a point. That being that whether you accept porn as a REALITY in your world (your mind,) it still doesn't make any less REAL of an event. A distinction that one as prolific as yourself might have recognized and made in your statement.

Seriously? All the comments, huh? All ONE of them?

By concession of your post, the Muppets are real because there are videos of them interacting with each other, ergo, all things Muppets is real!

Why don't you come back and comment when you've pulled your head out of your ass, or are you one of those who learned life's lessons via porn videos? If this is the case, then neither this topic, nor Lit, is where you should be spending your time.

 

[Acktion]

~ Deleted because NightL is right! That long ass post wasn't worth reading much less responding to. At least I think mine was meant~

However, the pertinent point was "thanks for sharing, Nips!"

 

[NightL]

I won't think less of you, NM, if you don't respond to all posts. Some are just not worth it.

I have viewed a number of Cindy Gallop's media offerings and agree with most if not all. Then I get this nagging feeling there is also this ongoing promo push for her website - So she fucks younger men and tells it as it is - good on her - while she creates all the wonderful free advertising for her website. I know this is how things are done, and I really don't disagree with her website - but please Cindy please, get a better website designer. Revisiting 15 yr old design influenced websites is like looking at 70/80's porn. What an irony .

Now your post after Rainshine's - "our impressionable youth, who for lack of better roll models, turn to porn for their information. Worse, is when they turn to their peers." - so how is this any different than ever? - Of course the accessibility. Mind you every young male years ago knew that having a full beard was essential after having their turn with a dog-eared version of The Joy of Sex. Yes I know that The Joy of Sex was not porn - but tell that to a teenager of the time - of course then there were all the airbrushed models in those magazines - which got passed around as well.

Going back to Cindy Gallop's message and placing it upon our internet environment - does porn today give a better or worse impression/influence than 70s/80s (or earlier) porn? So - accessibility comes back into the picture - yet I do believe sensible information offered to youth is also more accessible than ever. So, do youth today get better (and more positive) relationship and sex information than years past - I think so. Obviously this will depend on country/religion etc

I love the Cindy Gallops to get out there and shout and yell - very important messages - but let us not forget - her website comes up in every single media coverage.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I have viewed a number of Cindy Gallop's media offerings and agree with most if not all. Then I get this nagging feeling there is also this ongoing promo push for her website...

Sure there is, why wouldn't there be? Does this somehow diminish the message of providing good information to our kids? When was the last time you watch ANY tv program? Every single one of them these days has a website and social media feeds, how is this any different from what Cindy is doing?

Now your post after Rainshine's - "our impressionable youth, who for lack of better roll models, turn to porn for their information. Worse, is when they turn to their peers." - so how is this any different than ever? - Of course the accessibility.

It is both the accessibility and the graphic scenes depicted. Porn and the lingerie section of the Sears catalog of 30 years ago were something completely different than they are today. It is also safe to say that the societal views and acceptance of open sexual content in all forms of media is different today than it was 30 years ago. We have created a society that wantonly craves sex openly, yet we're afraid to talk about it with each other, and even less willing to talk to our kids about it, lest they think it ok to hump like rabbits. It is NOT information that causes teens to experiment with their new found sexuality, it is ignorance.

So, do youth today get better (and more positive) relationship and sex information than years past - I think so. Obviously this will depend on country/religion etc

Good question. I agree that healthy information is now as accessible as porn, however, given a choice, do you want to read about sex or do you want to watch it? For the average teenager, you can be assured that watching is the preferred manner of intake, making porn the elixir of choice. As an adult, we don't have to worry about our parents peering over our shoulder, so we feel freer to maybe research something more in depth.

One last thing I'd like to leave you with, when was the last time you heard a parent complaining that their kid has a "sexual research" problem, instead of that they have a "porn problem"?

I love the Cindy Gallops to get out there and shout and yell - very important messages - but let us not forget - her website comes up in every single media coverage.

Again, I'd point that every single other product know to man does too. Don't kill the messenger because they have something to sell in addition to the valid message they bring. Maybe the sale of this product is what gives them the ability to spread their message?



Thank you for your comments.

 

[NightL]

I most likely can't talk of your education system and the offerings of sex and relationship information but in my neck of the woods this has come a long way in the last thirty years. Indeed even most parents of teenage children would have had a reasonable amount of sex and relationship education, indeed enough to know the importance of their roles as parents to inform, guide and indeed warn.

While I don't dismiss Cindy Gallop's point and what you are saying at all, in fact agree in large, I just feel that parents are informed more than ever to assist in their children's education. The education system (again in my neck of the woods) is doing a wonderful job of now going well beyond sex education to now include relationship development.

Where I disagree with you is that I believe there is far more openness and willingness to discuss sex and relationships than ever before (in the country I live in). Of course, point a teenager to a computer and say "Go research" without guidelines, monitoring and follow up discussion and they will head off in all sorts of directions. No teenager who has a fascination of sexuality and indeed porn will think "now I must balance my time with informed responsible attitudes toward sex and relationships", of course they won't, but that is where our education system steps in and from what I have observed first hand, they are doing a very good job of that. Could it be even better - sure. Just on a side note - nor will any boy who has a fascination of mixed martial arts go off on their own to hunt down messages that display facts of brain damage or other physical injuries let alone the role sports such as MMA have in violence in our society as a whole. This is why we have education systems.

Yes there are bad messages out there, but there is also far better information and guidance being offered up to our young than ever before. I hope it continues to improve. It is not all doom and gloom. I have witnessed sex and relationship education, for teenage boys, in recent years and I was very impressed. The boys were indeed informed about respect, maintaining relationships through to the importance of paying attention to their partners physical and emotional needs, along with some wonderful guidelines on how things work and indeed the importance of communication with their partners. Basically they were informed of their role in making sure their partners found both the physical and emotional aspects of sex rewarding. So, along with the usual - these are the body parts - this is a condom - let's practise rolling them on plastic phalluses etc they did indeed get a very informed approach to differences in arousal and how to be attentive to that. Some fairly clear guidelines on stimulation and foreplay, which did indeed include discussion of oral sex. The importance of respect and communication never left the discussion at all times. There was also discussion of pornography and how it differs from reality. To be honest I was stunned and impressed - very different from when I was young.

Can things improve - yes. Does Cindy Gallop's sampling of young men reflect the attitudes of today's teenagers - well she is not going that young. Of course there should be discussion and openness.

Another example of changing attitudes - the majority of teenagers will now be aware of the impact that the fashion industry has had on body image - there has been much discussion and things are slowly changing. From what I have read, but have no statistical information at hand, I believe the abundance of the style of porn Cindy Gallop has been referring to that influences her young lovers is now falling to the rise of amateur/real life style videos, so it appears there are changes there as well.

It is all too easy to get a knee jerk reaction when the focus is on the negative. If the focus is put on the positive, but not to be complacent, then there can be discussions on how to make things even better.

Cindy Gallop focusses on the negative to sell her product - largely her product is herself. No doubt she gets paid very well for her speaking engagements and hawking her website.

There will always be porn and much will display poor role models, but the positive information being offered to the young is vastly improved as well. Sex education has come along way and the relationship side of it is now starting well before the teenage body-parts bump'n'grind sex talk.

I don't see it as doom and gloom at all. I think as a whole, in my country, young people are better prepared than ever before for heading out into the adult world of sex and relationships.

 

[Saucyminx]

Seriously? All the comments, huh? All ONE of them?

By concession of your post, the Muppets are real because there are videos of them interacting with each other, ergo, all things Muppets is real!

Why don't you come back and comment when you've pulled your head out of your ass, or are you one of those who learned life's lessons via porn videos? If this is the case, then neither this topic, nor Lit, is where you should be spending your time.

The Muppets are real and nothing you can say will make me think any different. *putting fingers in ears* lalalalalalalalala

The majority of the teens my kids hang out with are VERY informed about sex, and being safe, and the dif between porn and r/l. They aren't nearly as uptight about it as past generations either. Maybe mine are the minority--but I really don't think so. They also know they can talk to me about anything--and have all gotten the "Penis is a very big responsibility speech" already. Just my little public service. I give it using sock puppets. (ok no I don't, but I had a Muppet/puppet theme going here.)

 

[NippleMuncher]

In all honesty, I would expect the children of the Lit crowd to have a better than average grasp on sex and relationships, how could a forward thinking group like this stifle their kids?

 

[Lord Pmann]

In all honesty, I would expect the children of the Lit crowd to have a better than average grasp on sex and relationships, how could a forward thinking group like this stifle their kids?

I suggest kids get started no later than 8.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Horseshit

Animals have fucked for 100s of millions of years, sex is instinctive. Kids don't need tutorials for how to do it, they need to know how it blends with the rest of human experience for an optimal result.

 

[xjasminex]

I suggest kids get started no later than 8.

Hah, you'd be surprised. I managed to almost precisely guess the mechanics of the sex act by age 6? 7? with no prior exposure to the idea. To ick my 5ish year old brother out I told him the boy's privates touch the girl's privates and his ball goes into her and becomes a baby. I couldn't explain why people could have more than two kids.

 

[xjasminex]

Kids don't need tutorials for how to do it, they need to know how it blends with the rest of human experience for an optimal result.

True true, I agree, but perhaps for the sake of improving satisfaction and life skills, some people need to be told how to do things. My 21 year old friend, despite being a med student, believed that oral sex meant kissing (how adorable! I still find this story hilarious). She also had no concept of a woman receiving oral sex, she had no idea how this would happen since apparently oral sex means blow job

 

[MrRetro]

True true, I agree, but perhaps for the sake of improving satisfaction and life skills, some people need to be told how to do things. My 21 year old friend, despite being a med student, believed that oral sex meant kissing (how adorable! I still find this story hilarious). She also had no concept of a woman receiving oral sex, she had no idea how this would happen since apparently oral sex means blow job

That displays how sad our culture has become... For me, I performed oral sex on my first girlfriend without ever being seen, or being told what to do... It was something that was very natural for me to do, I desired it more than sexual intercourse at the time...

 

[xjasminex]

That displays how sad our culture has become... For me, I performed oral sex on my first girlfriend without ever being seen, or being told what to do... It was something that was very natural for me to do, I desired it more than sexual intercourse at the time...

 

[Que]

I had the opportunity to watch one of our Litizens on ********** today. I was as interested in doing so as much for her performance, as to watch her reaction to a horde of fans.

So many of the fans sounded awfully young in their conversational style, but kind of ridiculously crude and intrusive in the activities that they wished to see.

Here was a very pretty girl, openly displaying pretty much all that is good and lovely on a girl and enjoying some quality time with herself for our benefit...and their idea was to turn it into a hard-core gross-out session. Why?