Debbie
Persnickety slattern
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2001
- Posts
- 24,213
Let me give you a clean one.
This was in our local paper today.
Tell us a joke
Recently we took friends to a new restaurant, and noticed that our waiter carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
When the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then I looked around and saw all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup, I asked,
"Why the spoon?"
"Well," he said,"the restaurants owners hired consultants in order to revamp all our processes.
After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoon 73.84% more often than any other utensil. That represents a drop frequency of approximately three spoons a table, an hour. If our personal deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man hours a shift."
As luck would have it, I droppped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare spoon.
"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now," he said.
I was impresseed. The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I noticed that there was a thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
All the other waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
My curiousity got the better of me and, before he walked off, I asked the waiter,
"Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh certainly!" he answered.
"Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time also in the rest room. See by tying this string to you-know-what, we can pull it out over the urinal the need to wash hands, shortening time spent in the rest room by 76.39%."
"But... if the string helps you to get it out, how do you put it back in?"
"Well," he whispered. "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
This was in our local paper today.
Tell us a joke
Recently we took friends to a new restaurant, and noticed that our waiter carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
When the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then I looked around and saw all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup, I asked,
"Why the spoon?"
"Well," he said,"the restaurants owners hired consultants in order to revamp all our processes.
After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoon 73.84% more often than any other utensil. That represents a drop frequency of approximately three spoons a table, an hour. If our personal deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man hours a shift."
As luck would have it, I droppped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare spoon.
"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now," he said.
I was impresseed. The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I noticed that there was a thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
All the other waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
My curiousity got the better of me and, before he walked off, I asked the waiter,
"Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh certainly!" he answered.
"Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time also in the rest room. See by tying this string to you-know-what, we can pull it out over the urinal the need to wash hands, shortening time spent in the rest room by 76.39%."
"But... if the string helps you to get it out, how do you put it back in?"
"Well," he whispered. "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
Where do you people come up with this stuff? 
