Ma Ma Ma My Bologna!

[Guest]

Personally, I do not like it. And we don't eat it at home.

The mutt of meats. Meat Lite. Pretend meat. I mean, what is IN that stuff, anyway?

Well, our young son came home from school yesterday telling us about this wonderful new thing he had at lunch (he's six years old). Another student had a bologna sandwich and our son traded his chocolate pudding for part of it.

I said, "You gave away your pudding for bologna???"

He said, "Well, just a piece. And I already ate some of my pudding."

OK. Ick.

I had no idea that saving my children from the perils of lunch meat would cause them to think of it as a delicacy.



I bought some bologna last night.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Personally, I do not like it. And we don't eat it at home.

The mutt of meats. Meat Lite. Pretend meat. I mean, what is IN that stuff, anyway?

Well, our young son came home from school yesterday telling us about this wonderful new thing he had at lunch (he's six years old). Another student had a bologna sandwich and our son traded his chocolate pudding for part of it.

I said, "You gave away your pudding for bologna???"

He said, "Well, just a piece. And I already ate some of my pudding."

OK. Ick.

I had no idea that saving my children from the perils of lunch meat would cause them to think of it as a delicacy.



I bought some bologna last night.

Stay clear of SPAM.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Ma Ma Ma My Bologna!

Stay clear of SPAM.

As long as someone doesn't bring it to school . . .

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Re: Re: Re: Ma Ma Ma My Bologna!

As long as someone doesn't bring it to school . . .

and what are your feelings on hot dogs and chicken nuggets? that is a staple of every kids diet.

 

[Guest]

LOL!

Any mom knows how hard it is to get kids to eat anything sometimes!

But I really don't like chicken nuggets or hot dogs. My husband and daughter prefer burgers.

My son prefers pizza.

Or grilled cheese. And french fries.

And grapes and strawberries and apples.

That's about all he'll eat.

OH! And popsicles.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

... I had no idea that saving my children from the perils of lunch meat would cause them to think of it as a delicacy...

Plan an outing, then approach your son with the following suggestion.

“Since you enjoy bologna so much, I thought you might enjoy a trip to an Oscar Myer’s plant to see how it is made.”

If he (you should pardon the expression) bites, the future will once again be clear.

A single afternoon’s trauma will produce a greater appreciation for your efforts to avoid lunch meat, his stock in your opinion will skyrocket, and his suspicion of foods encountered outside the home will, at the minimum, double.

And all you must do, is steel yourself against your reluctance to expose a six-year-old son of yours to the disillusionment to which you are conniving at exposing him.

 

[Ravin the Poet]

Give me turkey or ham any day over Bologna!!


Ravin

 

[Guest]

Actually -

He snacked on bologna last night. Both kids did - they were so excited to have it at home.

But as for lunch today when I asked what kind of sandwiches they wanted?

His choice? Ham and cheese. Her choice? Turkey.

Maybe the craving has gone.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I thought it was a known law of childhood that almost anything a kid eats at someone else's house is just great, but serve it to him at your house and they clutch their throats and make retching sounds.

The same is true when their friends eat at your house.

This is a variation of the law that anything their friend has is far superior to anything they might have, no matter what. Your kid may have a $3000 cmputer and they'll trade it for their friend's syrup-covered rubic's cube if you let them.

When I was a boy I lived on Sugar Crisp and Oscar Meyer baloney on white bread, straight: no mayo, no mustard. Two slices of baloney, two slices of bread, and fuck the crust.

---dr.M.

 

[Guest]

When my older son was in daycare he came home excited to make Bubble-oney. You take a slice of bologna and fry it (just on its own, no oil added). It turns red and into a dome shape. He and his brother wanted it everyday for weeks. I remind them of it regularly.

Perdita

 

[Lisa Denton]

When my older son was in daycare he came home excited to make Bubble-oney. You take a slice of bologna and fry it (just on its own, no oil added). It turns red and into a dome shape. He and his brother wanted it everyday for weeks. I remind them of it regularly.

Perdita

I love boloney sammiches, like mum says ya fry it but ya gotta cut slits in the edges. Otherwise it will curl all up, which is o.k. if you got a dog to feed it to but I don't, the last time I forgot to cut the slits and it curled up I tried to feed it to my squirrels but they wouldn't eat it (ingrates) they only eat pecans. Anywho after cutting the slits you cook it awhile on both sides then top it with a slice of cheese, only let the cheese start to melt then remove from heat. Now, you slather on, yes slather, that means lots, slather on mayonaise on bread and put the boloney n cheese on there, top with two onion slices, and maybe some pickle slices, three pickle slices is good. Serve hot with tater chips.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

In Michigan you can get pickled boloney.

In Kentucky or Tennessee I understand they barbecue it.

Boloney hunting season is in the spring, right before the annual mating season, when the bull baloneys develop their horns. The baloney mating call is a kind of soft, flapping sound. Baloney aren't dangerous unless they're wounded, but they are crafty. When startled, they leap into the trees and just hang there.

--Zoot

 

[doormouse]

What's bologna?

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

In Kentucky or Tennessee I understand they barbecue it.


--Zoot

Yep, got a place here that sells either a BBQ bologna sandwich or plate and the bologna is so thick, you can barely get the sandwich in your mouth.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Yech... bologna.

 

[R. Richard]

Personally, I do not like it. And we don't eat it at home.

The mutt of meats. Meat Lite. Pretend meat. I mean, what is IN that stuff, anyway?

I bought some bologna last night.

Sweetsubsarahh:
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are abusing your children.

Bologna is a VERY inferior attempt to copy Italian Mortadella. Mortadella is a smoked sausage originated in Bologna, Italy. The Italian version is not imported because it requires additional cooking steps before the U.S. government will approve it. Real Mortadella is air-dried and has about the same relationship to bologna as sirloin steak has to Spam.

The real stuff comes from Italy. However, if you have a real Italian market/deli in your area you can give your kids the real stuff.

Warning: Mortadella is habit forming!

 

[Lisa Denton]

In Michigan you can get pickled boloney.

In Kentucky or Tennessee I understand they barbecue it.

Boloney hunting season is in the spring, right before the annual mating season, when the bull baloneys develop their horns. The baloney mating call is a kind of soft, flapping sound. Baloney aren't dangerous unless they're wounded, but they are crafty. When startled, they leap into the trees and just hang there.

--Zoot

Yes, but wild baloney is a little tougher than grain fed baloney raised on a baloney ranch. My grandpa had a working baloney ranch. We used to round them up and wrap red cellophane all around them, to keep them from kicking, before sending them to the baloney slaughterhouse.

 

[Lord DragonsWing]

It's the cost of the bologna hunting license I like. The exact same as a loaf of bread. And they're becoming collectibles I hear!!!

 

[Guest]

Are wild baloney dangerous? Should I keep my children inside after dark?

This is becoming verrry frightening.

 

[Lord DragonsWing]

Are wild baloney dangerous? Should I keep my children inside after dark?

This is becoming verrry frightening.

They're not too bad. You can smell the garlic ones coming closer and you can avoid them. The turkey bologna will leap from the trees so be ready. It's the regular bologna you have to watch out for. They attack anything and everyone. A frying pan will handle them nicely just keep the fire going.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Are wild baloney dangerous? Should I keep my children inside after dark?

This is becoming verrry frightening.

(I am whisperin) Its really not a racial type thing, but the green baloney is usually a bad baloney, rotten to the core.

Whatever you do, if a baloney starts humpin your leg DON"T TRY TO STOP THEM!!! Something about the sound of meat slapping meat drives them into a frenzy and they might start beatin it. Just relax and enjoy it. Beastiality with a baloney is not illegal in most states, just kinda sick.

 

[Liar]

What's bologna?

It's a nice little city in Italy.
But I doubt that's what they are talking about.

So then I thought, "Is that what you make bolognese with?"
But that didn't ring true either. I mean the meat in a bolognese (and I mean the pasta sauce, not a citizen of Bologna) is just ground beef, right? Nothing to get all upseat and start threads about.

I think they mean baloney.

#L

 

[Lord DragonsWing]

(I am whisperin) Its really not a racial type thing, but the green baloney is usually a bad baloney, rotten to the core.

Whatever you do, if a baloney starts humpin your leg DON"T TRY TO STOP THEM!!! Something about the sound of meat slapping meat drives them into a frenzy and they might start beatin it. Just relax and enjoy it. Beastiality with a baloney is not illegal in most states, just kinda sick.

Of course if you throw them some that sliced cheese they may get excited and forget about the humping. I heard the government cheese works real well.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Baloney is one of the few species NOT on the endangered species list which is nonetheless supported by all politicians.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Baloney is one of the few species NOT on the endangered species list which is nonetheless supported by all politicians.

"Thats a bunch of baloney!!"

Uh, I mean that in a nice way, but seriously, when is the last time you saw a huge baloney herd grazing anywhere. They are dying out at an alarming rate. It could be mad baloney disease.