Luv1's cook book.

[luv1]

And thanks Morri minxy you sexy things you

 

[luv1]

I don't cook...but I love to eat....
Watched Gordon last night on BBCA "Kitchen Nightmares" ....

Hi sweetie Gordon is the boss He is just so entertaining.....The f**king foul mouthed b*****d. SHOW SOME F**KING PASSION!!!!!! ........I'm only boiling an egg dude.

 

[Morrigu]

Luvmuff, do you bake too..............cos I kinda like cookies and a glass of milk

 

[luv1]

I haven't baked half as much as I'd like, though I'm a tiny, weeny obsessed with baking a giant Jaffa cake......mmmmmmm. Jaffa cakes.

I do have a good recipe for healthy chocolate truffles

200g of dark chocoate (remember the darker the healthier something 70% cocoa)
6 tbsp strong black coffee
2 tbsp clear honey
and a bit of cocoa powder for dusting.

Gently melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of simmering water and then set aside. It should be all lovely and runny like a little pool of yummy chocolate....mmmmmm. Now pour in the coffee, gently and mix it in....GENTLY. Mix till it's starts to thicken. Add the honey....gently....1 tbsp at a time, mix it in till its a nice gloss(about 2 mins no more) and now chill in the fridge so it can harden. dust the cocoa powder on a nice clean surface and take out the now hardened (not too hardened...you want to get get mess with it now)chocolate. Scrape out a tbsp of the chocolate mix and roll it in your hand till it's a lovely chocolate ball. Now roll the lovely chocolate ball of yumminess through the cocoa powder and pop the truffle in a bowl. Repect with the yumminess till the mix is all gone and pop the bowl in the fridge to harden up again and there you have yummy, healthy chocolate truffles.

Oh and if you fancy a treat. Replace the coffee with booze like sherry or champagne. Just make sure it's at room temp. Not cold or the chocolate will be ruined.

 

[Morrigu]

Yummy.............can I come to your house when you've baked the huge Jaffa Cake? I'll be on my best behaviour

 

[luv1]

Yummy.............can I come to your house when you've baked the huge Jaffa Cake? I'll be on my best behaviour

Your best behavour?.........But if you do then how are we going to get messy and lick the chocolate off each other?

 

[Morrigu]

Your best behavour?.........But if you do then how are we going to get messy and lick the chocolate off each other?

That is my bestest And suck the orangie bit out............*slurp* yummy

 

[asian_princess]

This is one of my fav’s…

The ingredients don’t have to be exactly measured, and you don’t need to knead until you turn blue…or should that be green.

Irish Soda Bread.

* 500g (17oz) strong wholemeal bread flour.
* 250g (8oz) strong white bread flour.
* 1 hefty teaspoon baking soda
* 4 hefty teaspoons of baking powder.
* I hefty pinch of salt
* Quarter pint of low fat, natural, live set yogurt.
* One egg.

1. Preheat incinerator to 190°C / 375°F / Gas mark 5.

2. Crack egg into a one pint (16floz) jug and throw the shell over your left shoulder at your partner or into next doors garden.

3. Pinch and squeeze all the dry stuff together in a bowl.

4. Put all the wet stuff in the jug along with the egg, top up the jug to 1 pint (16floz) with cold water and beat the disgusting mixture until it begs for mercy.

5. Put a gaping wound in the centre of the dry stuff and add the wet stuff slowly. Make the dry stuff beg, plead for it’s life blood. (some flour seems to absorb more moisture than others, you don’t want to end up with a very sticky dough) Combine until it becomes almost like bread that has been unbaked.

6. In a fit of violent rage, because you‘ve put to much moisture from the jug in, hurl some flour at your worktop and batter the unbaked object that yearns for your control flat with your fist. (I shouldn’t use a rolling-pin, might come out too flat. You’re looking for a flat round, maybe the same thickness as half the length of your thumb.

If you your thumb is overly big, cut it down to about 3cm (Inch and ½) with a cleaver and use that as a gauge.

7. Take the biggest knife you have and plunge it into the heart of the round, but not all the way through. Cut a searing wound in the shape of a cross across it’s flesh, one vicious cut down, one across. Deep enough to leave a scar, but not to kill.

8. Place in preheated incinerator for ten minutes, then reduce the scorching, blistering heat that’s singing it’s battered flesh to 180°C / 350F/ Gas Mark 4. Bake it’s pastry coloured skin until it’s bottom sounds hollow when you hit it. It takes around 40 minutes in our oven.

Remove from incinerator and place on wire rack. I like to suffocate it with a damp tea-towel. I have no idea why.

You could substitute buttermilk for the quarter of live yogurt, egg and cold water, but that would mean less violence and wouldn’t be half as much fun.

um.

*forwards post to Laurel*

Laurel...can a recipe be submitted as an erotic story??

 

[luv1]

That is my bestest And suck the orangie bit out............*slurp* yummy

No! Never! The orangeie bit's all mine. MINE I TELL YAH!!!!!!

 

[luv1]

um.

*forwards post to Laurel*

Laurel...can a recipe be submitted as an erotic story??

I'd say it all depends on how much yogurt is being used.

 

[Morrigu]

No! Never! The orangeie bit's all mine. MINE I TELL YAH!!!!!!

Wrestle you for it.................come on I'm ready

 

[lovemonster]

This is one of my fav’s…

ROFLMAO

If only Jamie Oliver did his recipies like that...

 

[Kylan]

Beefy Swiss Rolley type objects.

Beefy Swiss Rolley Type Objects.

*2 large or 4 small slices of flash fry steak
*25g (1oz) butter
*1 onion, chopped
*2 cloves garlic, crushed.
*4 rashers of streaky bacon, chopped
*1 egg, beaten
*2 tbsp of vegetable oil
*3 tbsp flour
*3 tbsp tomato puree
*1 tbsp of chopped thyme
*1 tbsp of parsley
* 450ml (¾ pint) beef stock

1. Gently caress the button on that warm, special place in a circular motion until it climaxes at 180°C / 350°F / Gas 4.

2. Allow the butter to slither along the curvaceous side of a saucepan set on a bed of tranquil warmth. At a slow, lazy pace add the onion and garlic, and gently sauté those delicate, moist morsels in your hot, sticky oil.

3. Add your bacon, little by little. Listen for the gasps of pleasure as all four meld, hear them whispering to you, telling you not to stop, urging you, begging you; just like that, just like that, until they cry out in guttural ecstasy. Now ease your pan back from the sweltering heat.

4. Moving in a fast, ever decreasing round motion, stir in the lightly beaten egg.

5. Place the tender flesh of the steak between two sheets of cling-film (saran-wrap) and using an implement of your choice, spank until the rump is wafer thin and blushed.

6. Remove the cling-film and spread your licentious mixture from the pan over the flesh.

7. Feeling the warmth of it’s skin against your own. roll the flesh tenderly away from you until it resembles an engorged sausage and bind it tight with string.

8. Sprinkle the tight roll of flesh with flour.

9. Heat some oil in an oven-proof casserole dish, add the bloated cylinder of flesh and lightly brown. Force it from the sweltering depths of your oil with a slotted spoon and set aside.

10. With a languid, but increasing passion, stir in the beef-stock and tomato puree and bring to the boil.

11. Return the cylinder’s of flesh to the ichorous elixir and place the casserole dish in that exceptional, warm place for 1-1½ hours.

Remove string and serve with the accompaniment of your choice. I feel it quite often, goes well on a writhing bed of tagliatelle.

 

[minxy69]

Kylan, you need to write a recipe book, I just love reading your recipes...

Off to the Directory now

 

[koalabear]

Do Brits make Chili?........and do you want to?....

 

[luv1]

Beefy Swiss Rolley Type Objects.

*2 large or 4 small slices of flash fry steak
*25g (1oz) butter
*1 onion, chopped
*2 cloves garlic, crushed.
*4 rashers of streaky bacon, chopped
*1 egg, beaten
*2 tbsp of vegetable oil
*3 tbsp flour
*3 tbsp tomato puree
*1 tbsp of chopped thyme
*1 tbsp of parsley
* 450ml (¾ pint) beef stock

1. Gently caress the button on that warm, special place in a circular motion until it climaxes at 180°C / 350°F / Gas 4.

2. Allow the butter to slither along the curvaceous side of a saucepan set on a bed of tranquil warmth. At a slow, lazy pace add the onion and garlic, and gently sauté those delicate, moist morsels in your hot, sticky oil.

3. Add your bacon, little by little. Listen for the gasps of pleasure as all four meld, hear them whispering to you, telling you not to stop, urging you, begging you; just like that, just like that, until they cry out in guttural ecstasy. Now ease your pan back from the sweltering heat.

4. Moving in a fast, ever decreasing round motion, stir in the lightly beaten egg.

5. Place the tender flesh of the steak between two sheets of cling-film (saran-wrap) and using an implement of your choice, spank until the rump is wafer thin and blushed.

6. Remove the cling-film and spread your licentious mixture from the pan over the flesh.

7. Feeling the warmth of it’s skin against your own. roll the flesh tenderly away from you until it resembles an engorged sausage and bind it tight with string.

8. Sprinkle the tight roll of flesh with flour.

9. Heat some oil in an oven-proof casserole dish, add the bloated cylinder of flesh and lightly brown. Force it from the sweltering depths of your oil with a slotted spoon and set aside.

10. With a languid, but increasing passion, stir in the beef-stock and tomato puree and bring to the boil.

11. Return the cylinder’s of flesh to the ichorous elixir and place the casserole dish in that exceptional, warm place for 1-1½ hours.

Remove string and serve with the accompaniment of your choice. I feel it quite often, goes well on a writhing bed of tagliatelle.

Filth. FILTH!!!! Bad man, dirty man. In your bed!!

 

[luv1]

Do Brits make Chili?........and do you want to?....

Oh we have spice stuff, but it's always fun to have it up anyway, just to give someone an idea for something to cook. And on the topic of mince, here's something I made up yesterday. And I mean made up. No cook book here thank you. A slight east/far east dish if you like.


2tbsp of ground nut oil
500g pork mince
1/2tsp of ground cumin seeds
1/2tsp of ground coriander
1/4tsp of turmeric
1tp of paprica
1 galic clove chopped
4 spring onions chopped
1 red chilli chopped and deseeded
1 green pepper
1 yellow pepper
handfull of beansprouts
handfull of fesh spinach
1tbsp of parsley
1tbsp of light soya sauce.

heat up a wok or deep frying pan on a high heat and brown the mince with the spices and 1tbsp of the oil, braking the mince up with a wooden spoon. When browned transfer to a bowl. Clean out the wok/fry pan. Pour the other tbsp of oil in the wok/pan and stir fry the garlic, spring onion, chilli for 30 seconds till the aroma is released and nthe onion softens. Now bung in the peppers and stir fry for 2 mins. Then add the beansprouts and stir fry for 1 min. Add the mince, soya sauce and heat it all up for about another min or 2. Now that the mince is cooked. Mix in the spinach and parsley. When the heat from the meal wilts the spinach serve with a rice.

 

[asian_princess]

I'd say it all depends on how much yogurt is being used.

How much do ya got??

*flicks some at you and scampers off*

 

[Domsheena]

Beefy Swiss Rolley Type Objects.

*2 large or 4 small slices of flash fry steak
*25g (1oz) butter
*1 onion, chopped
*2 cloves garlic, crushed.
*4 rashers of streaky bacon, chopped
*1 egg, beaten
*2 tbsp of vegetable oil
*3 tbsp flour
*3 tbsp tomato puree
*1 tbsp of chopped thyme
*1 tbsp of parsley
* 450ml (¾ pint) beef stock

1. Gently caress the button on that warm, special place in a circular motion until it climaxes at 180°C / 350°F / Gas 4.

2. Allow the butter to slither along the curvaceous side of a saucepan set on a bed of tranquil warmth. At a slow, lazy pace add the onion and garlic, and gently sauté those delicate, moist morsels in your hot, sticky oil.

3. Add your bacon, little by little. Listen for the gasps of pleasure as all four meld, hear them whispering to you, telling you not to stop, urging you, begging you; just like that, just like that, until they cry out in guttural ecstasy. Now ease your pan back from the sweltering heat.

4. Moving in a fast, ever decreasing round motion, stir in the lightly beaten egg.

5. Place the tender flesh of the steak between two sheets of cling-film (saran-wrap) and using an implement of your choice, spank until the rump is wafer thin and blushed.

6. Remove the cling-film and spread your licentious mixture from the pan over the flesh.

7. Feeling the warmth of it’s skin against your own. roll the flesh tenderly away from you until it resembles an engorged sausage and bind it tight with string.

8. Sprinkle the tight roll of flesh with flour.

9. Heat some oil in an oven-proof casserole dish, add the bloated cylinder of flesh and lightly brown. Force it from the sweltering depths of your oil with a slotted spoon and set aside.

10. With a languid, but increasing passion, stir in the beef-stock and tomato puree and bring to the boil.

11. Return the cylinder’s of flesh to the ichorous elixir and place the casserole dish in that exceptional, warm place for 1-1½ hours.

Remove string and serve with the accompaniment of your choice. I feel it quite often, goes well on a writhing bed of tagliatelle.

Uh.... is it normal I have this sudden urge of wanting sex????

 

[timtattoo8888]

Uh.... is it normal I have this sudden urge of wanting sex????

mmmm tummy is growly...me hungry!!1

 

[luv1]

How much do ya got??

*flicks some at you and scampers off*

AArrrrgghhh. Me nice new 17 century cavalier hat!! *shakes fist* I just had the feathers re-primed.

 

[LustfulOne50]

For those of you who have spent time New Orlean you may know of this awesome Olive Salad it is New Orleans cuisine classic. You will find it at the Central Grocery on Decatur and there you can have a Muffuletta sandwich made with this wonderful salad mix on it and a ice cold beer to go. It's a nice way to just set back enjoy a fine lunch and may watch the ships on the Mississippi roll by.

Muffuletta Olive Salad

1 1/2 Cups Olives, pitted
1/2 Cup Calamatta Olives (or black), pitted
1 Cup Gardiniera(pickled Cauliflower, carrots,celery,Pepperoncini)
1 Tbsp Capers
3 each Fresh garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1/8 Cup Celery thinly sliced
1 Tbsp Italian Parsley, finely chopped
1 Tbsp fresh oregano or 2tsp dried
1 tsp Crushed red pepper flakes
3 Tbsp Red Wine
1/4 Cup Pimientos(Roasted red peppers)
1 Tbsp Green Onions thinly sliced
Kosher Salt & Freshly ground pepper to taste(salt may not be neccessary)

Crush each olive on a cutting board with your hand. Coombined all ingredients.
Cover with:1 1/2 Extra Virgin Olive oil

put into bowl or jar cover and let those wonderful flavor mimgle well for a week...MMMM MMMMM Good eats.

 

[luv1]

Mmmmmm. Nice. Ta.

And on a different note. Here's a few curry dishes of mine. Just coz I've been talking curries all day. With first off, one of my favs as it's pee simple and so quick to make.

Lamb Keema

2tbsp of oil
1 onion chopped
1 cinnamon stick
5 cardamon pods slightly crushed
1 curry leaf (or 2 if your using dry...as I do)
6 cloves (coz i love em)
2 tsp of garlic and ginger paste (you haven't got any? Well just blitz equal amounts of ginger and garlic to a paste then...or you can buy a jar)
450g of lamb mince
1 tbsp of ground coriander
1 tbsp of cumin
1/2 tbsp of chilli powder
150ml of natrual yogurt
1 tbsp of fenugreek (leaf, not powder)
Ripped fresh coriandor.

Heat the oil in a deep frying pan on a mid to low heat and cook the onion for 5 mins to it's nice and soft.
Add the cinnamon stick, cloves, curry leaf, cardamom pods for one min. Add the garlic and ginger paste for another min. Now bung in the mince with trhe ground coriander, cumin, chilli powder. Brake up the mince for 5 mins or untill the lamb is browned. Stir in the yogurt and fenugreek. Cover and leave to cook for 20-30 mins or untill the liquids absorbed. Now take out the curry leaf and stir in the ripped up coriandor. have it with rice or a love naan...or chips

Beef Balti

2 tbsp of oil
1 large onion chopped
2 garlic cloves crushed
2 large red peppers chopped
600g of steak sliced
fresh coriandor

For the sauce
2 tbsp of oil
2 large onions
1 tbsp of garlic and ginger paste
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
2 tsp of paprika
1 tsp of turmeric
1 tsp of cumin
1 tsp of coriander
1 tsp of chilli powder
1/2 tsp of ground cardamom
1 bay leaf

First off the sauce. Why coz you can make it in advance and use it when you like.

heat the oil in a deep pan and add the onion with the garlic and ginger paste. Stir fry for 5 mins untill the onion is browned. Stir in the tomatoe, paprika, turmeric, cumin, coriander, chilli powder, cardamom, bay leaf and season with a bit of salt and pepper. Bring to the boil and leave to simmer for about 20 mins. Stir occasionally. Take off the heat and remove the bay leaf. Now blizt the mix to a smooth paste and there's your sauce.

Now for the meats.

Heat the oil, add the onion and the garlic and stir fry for untill they're browned, now add the peppers for 2 mins. Add the beef and cooked till it's brown. Add the sauce and simmer for a farther 5 mins or untill the peppers are tender and the beef cooked.

To finish off just sprinkle some chopped up coriandor.

Nice.

 

[minxy69]

Jaffa Cake Pudding

Jaffa Cake Pudding

Ingredients

1 packet orange jelly cut into squares
375 ml/ 13 oz orange juice
275g/ 10 oz plain chocolate pieces
350ml/ 12 oz double cream
1 25cm/ 10 in sponge flan case
pouring cream to serve
raspberries or strawberries to garnish
mint leaves

Method

1. Put orange jelly into bowl and add 150ml/5oz boiling orange juice. Stir until dissolved and then add rest of the orange juice. Pour into 23cm/ 9in shallow round cake tin lined with clingfilm and chill.

2. Put chocolate and half the cream into a bowl and melt over simmering water. Remove and leave to cool. Whip the rest of the cream into peaks. Fold into melted chocolate. Mix and chill for a few minutes to a spreading consistency but do not let it set.

3. Turn jelly out of clingfilm and sit in the sponge flan case, spread with topping making sure the jelly is completely covered.

4. Leave in fridge to set for at least 30 minutes before serving.

5. Add Cointreau, Grand Marnier or orange syrup jelly extra flavour.

 

[luv1]

....Who dares awaken I from my slumber with....Oo...JAFFA CAKES!!!!!

Thanks sweetie