thebullet
Rebel without applause
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2003
- Posts
- 1,247
Many people who read Literotica have absolutely no sense of humor when it comes to the “Loving Wives” category. In this genre, quality of the writing and reasonableness of the plot don’t really count for much.
There is a theory I’m working on. The next thing you are about to hear is my theory. Uh-hum. My theory: there is a posse of vigilantes consisting of the usual gang of idiots who don’t even read the stories. Instead they fast-forward to the end. If the husband divorces the wife they give the story a high mark. If he doesn’t they give it a ‘1’ and call him a cuckold/wimp often implying that the writer is dickless.
Ever since the public comments section came on line, I’ve been amused to read what people have had to say about “Loving Wives” stories. The negative posters who identify themselves are almost invariably knee-jerk responders. They have two ‘Loving Wives” response templates; one they use for when the husband throws the wife out, the other when the husband tries to save the marriage, or worse – infinitely worse – finds the infidelity arousing.
There is no margin of error for these automatic responses. Even if the husband walks out instead of throwing out the wife, the marks are lower. Humor and good writing in these stories go right over these peoples’ heads.
I decided to test my theory by writing my own “Loving Wives” story. I put some humor into the story. I acknowledge that my sense of humor is a bit warped so I can’t criticize those who don’t understand it. I made the husband a cold, calculating mean-spirited son of a bitch with practically no redeeming qualities.
There is one writer, (If you follow the “Loving Wives” section you all know who I mean), whose stories invariably involve explaining how the protagonist goes about getting the evidence on the wife, always culminating in the successful denouement of his plans, the wife begging for mercy while he laughs at her. I mean, for just one story, okay. But for every story you write? No offense intended but aren’t there, like, other plots available in the universe of plots?
Just for shits and giggles, I borrowed this strategy for my story, too.
But, dear readers, don’t you want to see something completely different occasionally? I gave my loving wife a brain. My loving wife was just as manipulative as the husband, and she was better at achieving her agenda. Her plan wasn’t to screw around on her husband; it was to screw around with his head. It was to get her husband’s attention.
She fucked the fattest, ugliest guy she could find, knowing that her husband was watching on spy cameras he had planted in the bedroom.
Here is where I threw out a little hook for the readers to bite on or refuse the bait. I was betting the usual gang of idiots would bite. Boy was I right!
My story’s husband rushed home and beat the living crap out of the fat ugly boyfriend and then threw him out of the house. His intention was to throw the wife out too. He had already hidden all of the marital assets.
But then the story made a u-turn. For the first time in the marriage, the wife captured the husband’s interest by showing she was an independent and sexy person, not just a trophy. In the end, he decides to give the marriage a chance.
I got an email, anonymous of course, that said:
I HATE wimp husband stories. YOU get a 1. Be honest, just tell us he is a happy cuckold and we won't waste our time.
The husband in my story almost knocked the boyfriend's balls off and this makes the husband a ‘happy cuckold’ and a ‘wimp’? Did I miss something here?
My theory is, of course, confirmed. Since the marriage wasn’t immediately terminated the husband is a wimp, according to the usual gang of idiots.
I have another theory. If I change the title of my story and re-post it, but slightly alter the ending so that the husband throws the wife out in the end, my average score would rise by a full point in the ratings. BUT IT WOULD RUIN THE POINT OF THE STORY!
HEY, USUAL GANG OF IDIOTS! READ THE F*KING STORIES. AND GET A SENSE OF HUMOR TRANSPLANT. YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T HAVE ONE.
The story that proves the theory
No, don't ask for a link to my other stories. The usual gang of idiots might slam them too!
There is a theory I’m working on. The next thing you are about to hear is my theory. Uh-hum. My theory: there is a posse of vigilantes consisting of the usual gang of idiots who don’t even read the stories. Instead they fast-forward to the end. If the husband divorces the wife they give the story a high mark. If he doesn’t they give it a ‘1’ and call him a cuckold/wimp often implying that the writer is dickless.
Ever since the public comments section came on line, I’ve been amused to read what people have had to say about “Loving Wives” stories. The negative posters who identify themselves are almost invariably knee-jerk responders. They have two ‘Loving Wives” response templates; one they use for when the husband throws the wife out, the other when the husband tries to save the marriage, or worse – infinitely worse – finds the infidelity arousing.
There is no margin of error for these automatic responses. Even if the husband walks out instead of throwing out the wife, the marks are lower. Humor and good writing in these stories go right over these peoples’ heads.
I decided to test my theory by writing my own “Loving Wives” story. I put some humor into the story. I acknowledge that my sense of humor is a bit warped so I can’t criticize those who don’t understand it. I made the husband a cold, calculating mean-spirited son of a bitch with practically no redeeming qualities.
There is one writer, (If you follow the “Loving Wives” section you all know who I mean), whose stories invariably involve explaining how the protagonist goes about getting the evidence on the wife, always culminating in the successful denouement of his plans, the wife begging for mercy while he laughs at her. I mean, for just one story, okay. But for every story you write? No offense intended but aren’t there, like, other plots available in the universe of plots?
Just for shits and giggles, I borrowed this strategy for my story, too.
But, dear readers, don’t you want to see something completely different occasionally? I gave my loving wife a brain. My loving wife was just as manipulative as the husband, and she was better at achieving her agenda. Her plan wasn’t to screw around on her husband; it was to screw around with his head. It was to get her husband’s attention.
She fucked the fattest, ugliest guy she could find, knowing that her husband was watching on spy cameras he had planted in the bedroom.
Here is where I threw out a little hook for the readers to bite on or refuse the bait. I was betting the usual gang of idiots would bite. Boy was I right!
My story’s husband rushed home and beat the living crap out of the fat ugly boyfriend and then threw him out of the house. His intention was to throw the wife out too. He had already hidden all of the marital assets.
But then the story made a u-turn. For the first time in the marriage, the wife captured the husband’s interest by showing she was an independent and sexy person, not just a trophy. In the end, he decides to give the marriage a chance.
I got an email, anonymous of course, that said:
I HATE wimp husband stories. YOU get a 1. Be honest, just tell us he is a happy cuckold and we won't waste our time.
The husband in my story almost knocked the boyfriend's balls off and this makes the husband a ‘happy cuckold’ and a ‘wimp’? Did I miss something here?
My theory is, of course, confirmed. Since the marriage wasn’t immediately terminated the husband is a wimp, according to the usual gang of idiots.
I have another theory. If I change the title of my story and re-post it, but slightly alter the ending so that the husband throws the wife out in the end, my average score would rise by a full point in the ratings. BUT IT WOULD RUIN THE POINT OF THE STORY!
HEY, USUAL GANG OF IDIOTS! READ THE F*KING STORIES. AND GET A SENSE OF HUMOR TRANSPLANT. YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T HAVE ONE.
The story that proves the theory
No, don't ask for a link to my other stories. The usual gang of idiots might slam them too!
