wizbit9
aint giving a munkys nuts
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2002
- Posts
- 2,107
hello folks. i dont usually rarely write my relationship woes on lit, but i am a bit pickled with a situation at the mo and need to write it down to try and organise and make sense of it all. (please bare with me)
i used to date this girl called charlotte 5 yrs ago i was 18/19 at the time and it was my first proper love. i cannot emphaises it enough how in love we were when we got together. i can remember knowing actively at the time that i would have given my life for her. i also remember sitting in a resturant having a meal and we were unable to talk to each other as we couldnt stop smiling and laughing with sheer inner happiness. Times were good. alas we were only together for 3months in which time we lived together and shared everything. we split up eventually due to an unfotunate incident involving sex, charlotte and a friend of mine. the breakup broke my heart and i was morning(so to speak) for well over 18months in which time i found drink and drugs in quite a bad way.
looking back in hindsight i see that we were young and pushed too much onto each other in a short space of time. we didnt know how to control the emotions that were speeding through our hearts and minds. we didnt know what a relationship meant and what lond term similarities we actually had. and as a p.s drugs was not the way for me to deal with things but i suppose you can only learn from your mistakes.
however a year ago i caught up with her for the first time in four yrs in a pub in london as she had found out that i was studying in london like her also. we met up and were both very apprehensive about the meeting as she had destroyed my heart and any trust i had in females. and i had hurt her by the way i was too dominerring at the time. the meeting went great and it was good to talk about the good times with her and just basically catching up with a long lost friend. we both had partners at the time and it didnt bother either of us that we did. she wished me luck and i wished her luck also. since then we have been catching up once a week/fortnight for drinks and a chat. and helped each other over the breakup of our respected relationships. and when she moved back home to cardiff i did also after the end of my academic studies. we now live 10mins away from each other.
all was going really smoothly between each other but a few things happened this weekend to throw everything off balance a bit. we went out for dinner as we usually do to a local resturant to catch up as we havent seen each other for a while. we then went from there to a few bars and chatted about the future and what not and what it holds for both of us. me with my teaching courses and her with her nusing courses. she informed me that she is thinking of emigrating to australia to live with her father and do her nursing course there as it is cheeper and of a better standard. i immeditely thought that it would be a shame to see her go but if it will help her achieve better things in life she must go for it. we got home a bit later for a night cap as she was feeling a little unwell and money was dimminishing. we then drank a bottle of coctail stuff that one of my house mates supplied me with and from that moment on our memories have gone up untill we woke up in the morning in bed together with the knowledge that we slept together the previous night.
we got up and gingerly went downstairs to watch some telly. an hour later we decided to go back to bed for the after noon. we cuddled up and went to sleep for the afternoon. then in the evening we got up went downstairs and curled up on the sofa together for the evening and enjoyed each others company. we kissed before she left that evening (i didnt want her to leave!!)
the whole issue of sex and sharing time with each other like that had never before then come up in conversation or never seemed likly to happen
i know that we are very similar people with very similar attitudes and beliefs. we share the same sense of humour and our interaction skills with each other is the best. i dont know what to do as i want her back as i know that we can make each other very happy for a long time to come. and i think she knows this also. i dont want to bring it up in conversation as the last thing i want to do is loose someone special to me. the whole issue of her emmigrating is not something that i want to be thinking about at the moment as it doesnt bare thinking about. i dont want to be falling for her again as if it doesnt happen i will heartbroken again.
I WISH I DIDNT WEAR MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE!!!!!
thanks for taking the time to read this and if there are any suggestions i would like to hear them.
i used to date this girl called charlotte 5 yrs ago i was 18/19 at the time and it was my first proper love. i cannot emphaises it enough how in love we were when we got together. i can remember knowing actively at the time that i would have given my life for her. i also remember sitting in a resturant having a meal and we were unable to talk to each other as we couldnt stop smiling and laughing with sheer inner happiness. Times were good. alas we were only together for 3months in which time we lived together and shared everything. we split up eventually due to an unfotunate incident involving sex, charlotte and a friend of mine. the breakup broke my heart and i was morning(so to speak) for well over 18months in which time i found drink and drugs in quite a bad way.
looking back in hindsight i see that we were young and pushed too much onto each other in a short space of time. we didnt know how to control the emotions that were speeding through our hearts and minds. we didnt know what a relationship meant and what lond term similarities we actually had. and as a p.s drugs was not the way for me to deal with things but i suppose you can only learn from your mistakes.
however a year ago i caught up with her for the first time in four yrs in a pub in london as she had found out that i was studying in london like her also. we met up and were both very apprehensive about the meeting as she had destroyed my heart and any trust i had in females. and i had hurt her by the way i was too dominerring at the time. the meeting went great and it was good to talk about the good times with her and just basically catching up with a long lost friend. we both had partners at the time and it didnt bother either of us that we did. she wished me luck and i wished her luck also. since then we have been catching up once a week/fortnight for drinks and a chat. and helped each other over the breakup of our respected relationships. and when she moved back home to cardiff i did also after the end of my academic studies. we now live 10mins away from each other.
all was going really smoothly between each other but a few things happened this weekend to throw everything off balance a bit. we went out for dinner as we usually do to a local resturant to catch up as we havent seen each other for a while. we then went from there to a few bars and chatted about the future and what not and what it holds for both of us. me with my teaching courses and her with her nusing courses. she informed me that she is thinking of emigrating to australia to live with her father and do her nursing course there as it is cheeper and of a better standard. i immeditely thought that it would be a shame to see her go but if it will help her achieve better things in life she must go for it. we got home a bit later for a night cap as she was feeling a little unwell and money was dimminishing. we then drank a bottle of coctail stuff that one of my house mates supplied me with and from that moment on our memories have gone up untill we woke up in the morning in bed together with the knowledge that we slept together the previous night.
we got up and gingerly went downstairs to watch some telly. an hour later we decided to go back to bed for the after noon. we cuddled up and went to sleep for the afternoon. then in the evening we got up went downstairs and curled up on the sofa together for the evening and enjoyed each others company. we kissed before she left that evening (i didnt want her to leave!!)
the whole issue of sex and sharing time with each other like that had never before then come up in conversation or never seemed likly to happen
i know that we are very similar people with very similar attitudes and beliefs. we share the same sense of humour and our interaction skills with each other is the best. i dont know what to do as i want her back as i know that we can make each other very happy for a long time to come. and i think she knows this also. i dont want to bring it up in conversation as the last thing i want to do is loose someone special to me. the whole issue of her emmigrating is not something that i want to be thinking about at the moment as it doesnt bare thinking about. i dont want to be falling for her again as if it doesnt happen i will heartbroken again.
I WISH I DIDNT WEAR MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE!!!!!
thanks for taking the time to read this and if there are any suggestions i would like to hear them.
