Love Swing?

[kaoskytton]

Hahah...Hellz no Jack. Tania's lovable. I'm a force to be reckoned with.

 

[Guest]

 

[lost5pints]

All this talk makes me want to get one even more.....but me and the wife agreed to wait till we own a home so the landlord doesnt ask about industial eyebold in his ceiling......have fun all

 

[kaoskytton]

If you really don't feel like repairing the hole, you can put some toothpaste in it and a little bit of paint. It covers the eyehole quite nicely. ;-)

Although, while it's in, your landlord may raise a few eyebrows...

...and if you're lucky, nothing else!

 

[Guest]

[warning: it's early/I'm not *really* awake so I kind of ramble on... moreso than usual, lol]

Well... stayed home sick again today so I guess I have a good while to reply to you, Kaos, lol. On the topic of intense pain I have many interestesting stories . My only really horrible clitoris story is from when I was three years old though... one of my first childhood memories... It was a warm summer's day and I was climbing in this huge tree in our backyard... there was a nail sticking out of the trunk... yup, you guessed it. Fell down with my legs spread and the nail tore up... well, I can't really be sure of what it tore up actually. There was a lot of blood and I was screaming and passed out after about five minutes. I still remember looking down at my pussy and thinking, "Ahhhhh!!!!" So, I dunno about jabbing your clit with a pair of scissors but NEVER try to suspend yourself from a tree by a nail with your vagina, LoL.

I can't wait to see your avatar... and I'm sure we'll get you up to a thousand or so posts within no time, lol. I can't find anyone on this site or in general that looks like me either... which is good because I love myself and would be kind of peeved off if there were another me out there. I have a lot of my father's features (which I'm proud of... loved him more than anything) and I remember he always used to say, "I have no idea how something so pretty could resemble me..." ::sniffle:: This seems to be a day of reminiscing for me... the good old day of bloody wounds and my father, lol.

More on my pubic hair grooming... I actually spend hours tweezing every single strand... I *WISH* I could get away with just shaving but my hair is dark/thick and I just cannot tolerate the little stubbly dots that come when I shave . And I used to go completely bald but that was getting tedious... so now I have a vagina mohawk to cut off some grooming time, LoL.

"I've heard it either increases or decreases sensitivity" That's one of the reasons I always pansy out. A decrease would just send me into a manic depressive spiral and an increase might kill me, lol. But if it increases... at least you get that added joy of having a reason to go out and shop for more panties... not that you ever really need a reason. How I do wish I owned Victoria's Secret...

"The last person I lived with did that whole, "How can you take three hours to get ready?" And I'm all, "Because I dye the tips of my hair and I paint my friggin' toenails, that's why!" Every part of your body receives attention." Exactly!! I forgot all about having to paint my damn toenails... that always takes a good hour of stress... I have shaky nervous hands so I always end up painting one entire foot or such, lol. But I don't feel bad about my grooming habits because I'm pretty much always ready by the time Chris shows up. Only one time that I wasn't... and he was fifteen minutes early so it wasn't my fault .

"Sex is basically my lifeblood." I feel like I have found my kindred spirit in you, lol. I write basically everything... I like to test my limits... but no matter what I do, I can find some way to throw in a few hot sex scenes and sexual tension twists. Great thing about sex is that it can be worked into anything and everything.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that you should try everything at least twice unless the first time was something truly moronic and traumatizing... such as dousing yourself with gasoline and lighting a match... but, especially in the area of sex, you shouldn't throw an entire idea out the window just because of one bad experience. But I try to apply it to everything in my life... just because my first novel attempt sucked doesn't mean I shouldn't give it another go and give up on writing. And I've grown a lot from it...

"Yeah, I've got a reputation as being a cruel and heartbreaking monster but I don't mean to be. I mean, this is me. This is me today, yesterday, tomorrow. I need to write. I need to reach out to people. I need to connect with others. It's just who I am." When I read that, the only thing I could think of was how much I admire the fact that you know who you are. Surprisingly, I have much of the same reputation, lol. Every boyfriend I've ever been with just bored the hell out of me after a while and I didn't want to be "_____'s girlfriend"... I just wanted to be Tania. I would start to feel smothered, like a bird caught in a bear trap. The main reason that I think things are so different with Chris is that he himself is independent. He understands me and supports me but he isn't constantly hovering and offering his suggestions on my life and telling me what to do and where we're going... he lets me stretch and breath and miss him. And he's amazing in bed. That always helps .

I would love to see pics of your cat sometime too I'm animal obsessive, lol. Cats, dogs, birds, snakes, turtles... everything but spiders, really. You can't cuddle up with a spider and they make me have panic attacks [HORRIBLE phobia of mine] so that's one pet I'll never own, lol. Right now I just have my dog and my cat... they're both pestering me wanting to go outside as I speak... so I guess I should drag my sickly body away from the computer for a moment...

 

[kaoskytton]

Jesus H. Christ woman!

If you've got that kind of energy you need to stop typing and come over here and use those fingers on me Right Now!

 

[Guest]

::flexes fingers:: 90 words per minute, baby! Typing and formatting class I took in high school... about the only useful course I ever took in that hellhole. I think my brain processed and shredded the 'Physics' and 'Algebra' files the second summer started, lol.

 

[kaoskytton]

~lapping up chicken soup out of a bowl and willing to share~

Good morning Tania. I'm at work, as per usual...bored out of my mind, as per usual, and playing with myself, as per usual. After a couple of cyber sessions (and a couple of wet panties stuffed in my purse), I've developed the habit of wearing skirts, thigh highs with garters, and no underwear. That's what I'll be doing all day...so if the keys stick, you'll know why. ;-) If you notice before I do let me know and I'll lick my fingers...err...wash my hands. ;-)

Oh my god...that's so incredibly funny! The ongoing joke is that I lost my virginity to a tree (what are the odds?!). I was sleighriding when I was twelve with my best girlfriend. My father has a house in Mass, across the street from the Berkshire ski resorts...and up on the next mountain. It's a lot of fun, sleighriding down a mountain, but of course, it's much more fun to ride straight down the short, steep hill (that ends in the snow bank), instead of winding down the curving driveway. Well, you can only hit that snow bank so many times before you burst straight through it. Yep. And, I landed, spread eagle, on a tree (whacked my forehead pretty hard), with a branch poking between my legs on my snowsuit...but I was fine. Still not violated. Then my friend came flying past me and it's a good 12-foot drop, so I did what any good friend would do and grabbed hold of her arm...which added her weight, magnified by her velocity, to my own, and...RIP! I howled like a wolf that day. No splinters, though. Your story sounds much more painful! It didn't scar or anything, did it? Did you need tetanus shots? Bandages?

I still wasn't sure that I'd broken my hymen (sp?), though. I distinctly remember my plan to do so. I was thirteen, and although that was pretty young, and I knew it at the time, I wanted to make sure that I was "prepared" for the day when I really wanted to have sex, so that my "good sex" wouldn't be ruined by the legendary pain that's supposed to accompany your first time. Also, there's the whole "losing your virginity" commitment, etc. I think first times are really overrated. It's the successive times that get better and better. But the pain's a really scary thing when you don't know what it feels like. It's like my clit piercing. You never know before you're in the chair.

So (and I feel like such a terrible person for this), I found the guy with the smallest cock I could find (just enough to do the job - people ask me why I didn't use a candle or something but I thought then that I was young and naive and the most surefire way to do this without causing any damage to myself was the way nature intended), and jumped in the sack, and as soon as penetration happened, I signalled to my friend (same friend as the tree incident), who ran out with a frying pan from the kitchen and knocked him out. In retrospect I could have really hurt him, or killed him, and so I've apologized and we're friends (the kind of friend who never sees you naked), but when I was a child it didn't even cross my mind. All my attention was focused on preparing myself for perfect sex. I guess it's part of those stupid hijinks you get into when you're a teenager. So, we knocked him out, dragged him outside, naked, and left him at the school bus stop. Heehee. Getting him down the stairs really made me feel guilty, even then (~thud thud thud~). But hey, he forgives me so I don't torture myself. We all have things we would have done differently if we'd had the minds then that we do now!

Yeah, seriously. It's amazing how much you and I have to say.

Hahah...of course there's no one who looks like you; you're perfect!

Oh, that's so sweet, Tania. I'm a daddy's girl, too. Mine's a little bit eccentric; we're going hiking at 5am tomorrow. He says he wants to see me at least once a week and if that's what he has to do then that's when we'll go! (Eeepp...daddy!) I'd ask you about him but it sounds like a private thing. Maybe in PM?

You tweeze too???!!! Ohmygoddess, that's so amazing! I tweeze because I'm so incredibly pale I'm almost transparent and most waxes turn my skin red for days. And I hate shaving because it always comes back thicker and worse. It's just counter-productive. But I do have a pretty good electric shaver, now. It's light blue but I can't remember the brand name. Will PM later. At the very least, it's good in a jam. Sometimes you just don't have the time to tweeze, know what I mean?

~thinking about driving with left foot, right foot on dashboard, and a disposable razor on those little hard-to-reach bikini line spots~ If anybody lives in Jersey this is happening on the Bayonne Bridge. AHH!!! One of those "too narrow too fast" bridges where everybody goes 85, there are strong crosswinds, and you barely have enough space to keep each wheel on white paint.

Vaginal mohawk...hahah! I love it! Sometimes I shave it completely, especially when I'm doing the pigtailed schoolgirl look but I'm naturally blonde so it's pretty light anyway. Kind of like a strawberry bronze, I guess. But I think brunettes look really hot with the mohawk. I was just watching Julie Strain last night and thinking that very thing!

Oh, if my sensitivity decreases I'll just fucking DIE. If I disappear off the face of the planet, you'll know it's 'coz I couldn't feel my clitoris anymore! But I feel like sometimes you gotta take risks. Every new lover is a risk (use protection!), mainly 'coz you never know exactly how good they are until it's too late to crawl out from beneath them. Life is about risks, and always pursuing that better orgasm!

Princess o' Plenteous Panties, that's me. I'm a Frederick's of Hollywood fan over Victoria's Secret 'coz Victoria's has come out with so many years of "Jockey-like" cotton panties that it's like they're going for the 40+ June Cleaver audience. Frederick's is okay, but I'm not sure that they're the ideal, either. Right now I'm wearing their set (well, the top. The bottom's in my purse) that's black mesh with the red flames and the ties, you know what I mean? The thong ties together in the back and the bra ties together in the front. It's cute but not terribly practical. I'm always scared that in pursuit of breast support I'm gonna rip the string. Anybody know a great underwear manufacturer?

I think painting toenails gets easier as you do it. I don't usually stretch out beforehand but by the time I'm done I realize my knee is way behind my ear and my chin is as close to my toes as my hands. But I'm nearsighted, too. What I have noticed though, is that painting them, letting them dry, and then taking a shower usually washes away any excess. But I'm sure you already know all that. What colors do you paint them? I've noticed people usually favor certain shades that look good on them.

Hahha...I make people stand outside if I'm not ready. I'm always late, they should be too!

""Sex is basically my lifeblood." I feel like I have found my kindred spirit in you, lol." I couldn't agree more. It's incredibly refreshing because I have no other. I have a habit of basing my stories on personal experience whenever I get writer's block. Sometimes I embellish, sometimes not. But nothing makes me feel so at peace as writing erotica. I just get that "it's a wonderful world" feeling. Hahah...I agree. I think all sexual acts should be experimented at least once, no matter how kinky. Preferably twice!

Hahha...I don't think I told you about the time I wrapped myself in Saran Wrap and duct tape, did I? I was in desperate need of a corset. My friend had to cut me out with hedge trimmers. Stupid Idea #284...Just thought of that when you mentioned "dousing yourself with gasoline."

Yeah, I know what you mean. Every few years I try anal sex again but it's really not my scene. But what most people don't realize (because I always wear platforms) is that I'm pretty short; 5'4". I have the habit of bedding men who are at least 5'10"; two of my regular lovers are 6'3" and 6'4". The reason for this is the very logical thing of PROPORTION! If a man's entire body is bigger, chances are, his cock will be, too. The downside is that while I can swallow it and take it in my pussy (especially by manuveuring the walls), it's often too big for my ass. It's just...I don't know, not awful but immoblizing. That's probably it. Maybe if I did it more often I'd have all kinds of moves but as it is, I'm almost always stuck in doggie style, and it's such a new sensation that all I can do is think about it. On the other hand, with vaginal, I can wrap my legs around his waist and hold my entire body up on the door jam.

"I would start to feel smothered, like a bird caught in a bear trap." Perfect choice of words. I know exactly what you mean. And it's not something that they could do differently or better, you just need to be free, to live life as yourself, not as somebody else's bitch. But it's hard to practice. Even I find myself sinking into long-term commitment things...almost by accident. Then you have to shatter them to get back out. I never mean to, but there's no nice way to say, "Look, I can't stand to look at you for one more day. Get out of my bed!" The worst thing in the world, I think, are those sad, guilty eyes and the ridiculous and impossible question, "What can I do to change your mind?"

Wow...that sounds so amazing. My 6'4" partner mentioned above is a similar relationship; he's the one who set me free into my bisexuality. But we don't really grind against each other nowadays. I think he's feeling the pressure to get together with someone and found himself this "vanilla sprite," as I call her. He tells me they have sex on an average of once every three months. But I scare the hell out of her so I do my friend a favor and wear slinky outfits and show up when she's not home. Apparently she gives him more love if she thinks he's looking the other way. Ah, the things we do for our friends!

Really? Hahha...I'll send them. I have three cats, now. I had Chaos alone for the longest time, then Toulouse, the parrot, whom I recently sold, and now I've also got Misaki ("Jeckyll") and Tasuki ("Inkspot"). I just love cats. They're so laid back; they just hang out with you. They don't need to be in your face or all over you. You just feed them and they amuse themselves.

 

[Guest]

::random thought at the mention of chicken soup:: I've been living on peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies for the last three days... but what's even more enticing is the fact that I've lost three pounds ^_^. I'm down to a slim and proud 110, lol.

Mmm... garters... mmm... no panties... mmm... licking fingers... ::snaps out of it:: Uhh... what is today? Oh right, Thursday. Blah. A long ways until Sunday (the day of the lord AND the day Tania gets licked, bitten, stroked, and fucked to completion ::sigh:.

That's just eery... we were both brutally molested by trees, lol. If I ever do have a daughter (God forbid) I'm going to make damn sure that she stays away from those horny ass child molesting bunches of cheap foliage hunks. When I was attacked it was one of those 'out of body' type experiences because the pain was just blinding. I remember myself screaming bloody murder and my mother carrying me into the house and tugging off my torn pants... and I remember red blood gushing everywhere before I blacked out. After that I'm all a blank, lol. Which is probably a good thing... now everyone just laughs at it at family reunions. I actually broke my hymen myself when I was six though. Curiously masturbating and went in a bit too deeply. That was a rather blinding pain as well but I didn't black out. I did stop masturbating for a year though so it was pretty traumatic...

Oh wow, LOL, you have to just love a friend who beats a guy over the head with a frying pan for you! Not only that, she helped you get rid of the body too! I've never had a friend like that ... That is a rather madly amusing story though, and as long as you're forgiven by the victim then all is good, lol. Reading that story, you should write a novel that's just about your life... it would be erotic and hilarious and insightful and just perfect. After enjoying your posts so much I would definitely buy it and prod everyone else I know into buying a couple copies too, lol.

It's great that you see your dad once a week too. Mine passed away back in '99 and I still don't think I'll ever recover from that one. He was my world and taught me everything I know and hold to any sort of value now. Very very eccentric as well, lol. Greatest man I'll ever know.

"I tweeze because I'm so incredibly pale I'm almost transparent and most waxes turn my skin red for days." ::nods:: I'm very pale as well and it's almost impossible for me to get a tan... I envy girls with the light fine hair (like my sister... grrr...) that stays short and lovely without any sort of maintenance at all. I try to avoid shaving at all costs but sometimes Chris will suddenly decide to surprise me and drop over and I just don't have the time. Then I go for a mad shaving session because, as you said, sometimes you just don't have time to tweeze (damn time relativity laws). If he only knew how much pain and annoyance I go through to have a perfectly smooth and lovely pussy for him... well, I guess lately he's been returning the favor and doing a really hot shaving/trimming job so it all pays off, lol.

"Life is about risks, and always pursuing that better orgasm!" I've been trying to find a purpose for my life... maybe that's it. Orgasm. My only purpose is to please and be pleased, lol. It's something I could definitely stand behind and keep working at without getting bored. And I can't even imagine what it would be like to not be able to feel my clit It's been so good and faithful to me over the years. What really traumatizes me are those stories about women in foreign countries who have to have thier clits removed. That's just so sick and twisted. To force a woman to remove the ultimate source of her pleasure. I'd like to find whoever came up with that idea and spit on their grave .

I'm a Frederick's fan as well... and hoping that the whole boy short panty idea dies quickly, lol. They are NOT more comfortable and they look like crap on me. Have you ever been to the store Maurice's? They have rather adorable cheap thongs... interesting to wear for a night and be a tease. My favorite ones were red sheer lace that dipped a bit in the front and had a thread of black stones and, well, they were hot, lol.

As far as nail painting goes... I try so hard to get in a variety of colors but 90% of the time they're some shade of blood red, lol. Sometimes I'll do a french manicure and layer a silvery charcoal on top of the red... Red is just my favorite color and I tend to look good in red because it brings out the coppery shades in my hair. So... I'm a typical sex red painter, lol. And I actually have a little brush for my toes to soap up and scrub off the messed up paint that I get on my skin. Very helpful because my hands are usually shaky. I'm only hoping that I will get better at polishing as I do it more...

::note to self:: Never saran wrap and duct tape anything to your body... lol.

I'll reply to the second half of your letter when I get back from the doctor... wish me luck! Worst case scenario is that I'm pregnant. In which case, I'll let you be the one who shoots me, lol.

 

[Guest]

 

[kaoskytton]

Jack, I just caught that message above. Well, that breaks off any possibility of any sort of a LTR w/ us. I'm notoriously late for everything. I'll be lucky if I show up at my own funeral. Must be my short attention span.

Wow, sexy! Congratulations!!! I've found that I'm living on Icebreakers and diet coke, ever since I started posting here. Yep, yep...I haven't eaten anything 'cept the occassional lollipop in two days. But at least I pass out on my keyboard now and again!

Do you dunk the cookies in the peanut butter?

I'll be masturbating in an open field on Sunday to thoughts of that, Tania, I promise.

Yeah, the forest scene in The Wizard of Oz still gives me nightmares.

Yeah, when you get so hurt you just don't feel it anymore. It's like a different level of pain. Sometimes I wonder if that's what Clive Barker's always trying to get at.

Hahaha...that IS traumatic!

Well, I've only got one friend like that. At this point she stays out of my adventures, too, which kinda bums me out. She won't even do porn with me, not sure why. But I love her anyway. And I don't hold it against her, especially now that I have spiffy new friends.

Yeah, well, one day I hope to combine all my literotica stories and I'll have the story of my life. What about you? Do you write as well?

Yeah, my dad had a mild heart attack (is that the correct phrase?) last year and I was blind with panic...and I never panic. I couldn't imagine this world without him. I mean, I know it has to happen, life is like that, but I just can't deal with it. Or, rather, I choose not to cross that bridge until I get shoved across it.

~sizzle~ ~poof~ ~turns bright red from crossing the street~ What? Hahah...I've got sunblock 70 in my car for long car rides. So you totally understand; it's not that you WANT, necessarily, to be pale, but there's no grey area. Or tan area, actually. It's white and red like white and black.

It's so sweet when men shave and trim isn't it? I think it's very, very underrated. Taking care of your body means that you care about the person you're with and want to be desirable for them.

Heheh...I don't know what keeps you motivated but I need to come more often than I need to eat.

ACHHHHHH!!!! ~cringes and shudders in the corner~ I'd rather be crucified! I'd dig them up and fuck them with pierced donkey cocks 'til cum ran out of their eyes.

What the hell is with the boy undies?! I mean, I have a couple of pairs of Joe Boxer Girlfriend boxers for when people come over (with girl undies all over them), but that is ONLY when like, my girlfriends are coming over and I'm planning on spreading my legs wide for one nonsexual reason or another (like cleaning the house).

Maurice's? It sounds familiar but I'm not sure if there is one nearby. That's the problem with living on various ends of the country; you can never remember the locale of any branch of stores. Are they online? Ooo...send me pics!!!

Hahah...yeah, I'm big on red, too. It's easy, it works, it doesn't look childish, etc. I'm wearing silver right now only 'coz my favorite club had a goth girls dancing contest and I did the whole vinyl/velvet/fishnet/rubber bondage thing. Well, that, and I'm still sweating the Twins from Matrix Reloaded.

Oh. My. Cock...~drools~

Ooo...that sounds incredibly pretty, with the charcoal. Yeah, I think red looks good on anybody. Regardless of favorite color, there's always a shade of red that looks hotter on a person.

Hedge trimmers! She had to cut me out with hedge trimmers! It was so funny...

AHH!!! No little mutant babies! ~keeps fingers crossed for Tania~

 

[Guest]

 

[kaoskytton]

The "R" word is the biggest of curses in Kaos-speak.

If you find my number on your dresser you can expect to see me again. Otherwise, assume it was all a dream.

 

[Guest]

 

[kaoskytton]

Why is that, Jack?

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

No pregnancy ::deep breath::. Just something that required antibiotics... As for the cookies that are the sole staple of my diet... I made them from scratch and they have chocolate and peanut butter chips in them. I think I'll go and eat one right now... ::wanders off:: Snack and then literotica...

 

[kaoskytton]

No, Jack, why haven't you been with more women? That's like eating only apples and bananas your whole life even though there's a huge produce section in the supermarket.

TANIA!!!!!

~jumps up and down~

 

[kaoskytton]

~experiencing total zen with the universe knowing that Tania is well~

Those sound like some good cookies. If I dance the "C is for Cookies" Cookie Monster dance, could I have one?

 

[kaoskytton]

BTW, Tania, check me the fuck out!!! I got Avatar! WEE!!!

I don't really like this pic (I really don't like what I'm wearing) but Void likes it a lot, and, you know, gotta do what the fans want.

 

[Guest]

You can have an entire batch of cookies, lovely goddess, lol.

 

[Guest]

And yes, I did notice that you had your avatar! ::excited:: You're so beautiful... then again I had already suspected that. I feel kind of like a slacker though... I've been on here for months and haven't gotten an avatar, LOL. Ah well, there was just no point in being on here until I met a wonderfully vibrant lady by the name of Kaos... now I'm all prepared to go for the avatar on my own

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

The cookies sound great, dip them in milk.

Always... I do love milk...

 

[Guest]