Love is....
- Thread starter Xander
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erosman
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I hate to disagree with your av...but...
For me, love is a choice. Webster would give you the option of counting it as a verb. Best definition I've encountered for love... the verb...unconditional, self-giving, that seeks the highest good of the other. Or, translate to my RL: I set the thing that I want most on the shelf - hopefully temporarily - so that I can embrace the thing that you want most for now.
For me, love is a choice. Webster would give you the option of counting it as a verb. Best definition I've encountered for love... the verb...unconditional, self-giving, that seeks the highest good of the other. Or, translate to my RL: I set the thing that I want most on the shelf - hopefully temporarily - so that I can embrace the thing that you want most for now.
Xander
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I'm talking about love that potentially can lead to a relationship, marriage whatever in that catagory.
And how do you know that the love you see when a couple walks by you, hand in hand, that that love is not fleeing??
How do you know that for whatever reason this couple is sticking together, its out of something else but love??
Love is a fleeing illusioin of well being between two people. Nothing more, nothing less.
If there is ONE thing lovelife has taught me....that would be it. And I saw it from the earliest memories I have.
And how do you know that the love you see when a couple walks by you, hand in hand, that that love is not fleeing??
How do you know that for whatever reason this couple is sticking together, its out of something else but love??
Love is a fleeing illusioin of well being between two people. Nothing more, nothing less.
If there is ONE thing lovelife has taught me....that would be it. And I saw it from the earliest memories I have.
PowerOfOne
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Love is...
...having a 7 month old smear baby food in her hair and mine at feeding time and laughing instead of being angry.
...being awakened at 3am and letting the little soft hands and arms that go around your neck make it all worth while.
...learning to love the smell of "spit up" instead of "Joy" perfume.
...putting someone else's needs way ahead of your own.
...having a 7 month old smear baby food in her hair and mine at feeding time and laughing instead of being angry.
...being awakened at 3am and letting the little soft hands and arms that go around your neck make it all worth while.
...learning to love the smell of "spit up" instead of "Joy" perfume.
...putting someone else's needs way ahead of your own.
I mean no real disrespect, but I have to wonder a lot of the time if people really read the thread, or just post to what they think it's about?
Xander, love is fleeting because life is fleeting. I know love exists. I have to know it or what is there to live for? But I cannot prove you wrong, and I'm afraid you are right. But let me have my own illusions, okay?
Xander, love is fleeting because life is fleeting. I know love exists. I have to know it or what is there to live for? But I cannot prove you wrong, and I'm afraid you are right. But let me have my own illusions, okay?
PowerOfOne
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Xander said:
Ok Xander, I get your drift. Can you recall being away from home for a long time, with a lot of annoyances during that time, and the feeling that you got when you finally arrived home? THAT is the feeling of love or at least for me it is.
As to your questions, I do not pretend to know what makes other people love and if it is fleeing or an illusion for them. I would not demean myself to accept anything less than love and if it flees (there are no gurantees) then at least you have experienced magic and it is something you will not quickly forget. As Garth Brooks says in his song, "I could have missed the pain but I would have missed the dance." I refuse to miss the dances.
celiaKitten
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Love exists Xan. It hurts and makes us bitter - but also gives us the light to live. It's finding someone to share that with, someone who needs you as much as you need them. Not everyone has it, and many settle for less because it's easier.
But if you doubt that love is real, you'll never experience it.
But if you doubt that love is real, you'll never experience it.
Xander
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I do not doubt love is real, I KNOW love is real. And I know the magic of it up close and personal. I know the joys it brings. I also know the crushing pains it brings. I know all that.
What I am stating here is. Love is a fleeing illusion of well being.
I have seen so many marriages, so many relationships, including my own, be nothing more than a fleeing illusion.
What I am stating here is. Love is a fleeing illusion of well being.
I have seen so many marriages, so many relationships, including my own, be nothing more than a fleeing illusion.
PowerOfOne
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Xander said:
Mine did also, Xander but it was not the true love that you speak of. I really believe that when you totally commit to someone and they commit to you that love is forever. I am still looking for that. I may never find it but I sure am enjoying the dances.
It does happen, Xander. I see 50th wedding anniversaries and on up happening. I think the key is commitment, going into marriage being as committed to the relationship as you are buying a house, etc.. I wish you all the luck in the world, Xander. It is out there. You will know it when you find it. YOU WILL KNOW!
Xander
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I know True love exist, I also know that only like 5 percent of the worlds population really do find that.
Out of all the couples I know, I have only ONE couple where I can say that I truely believe that will last through the duration of their entire lifetime.
PowerofOne, as you say to me. I Already found it. I know how it looks, and I know how it feels. But finding it, is not the same as keeping it.
What you think is THE one, or truely, is not neccersarily the same for your partner.
Out of all the couples I know, I have only ONE couple where I can say that I truely believe that will last through the duration of their entire lifetime.
PowerofOne, as you say to me. I Already found it. I know how it looks, and I know how it feels. But finding it, is not the same as keeping it.
What you think is THE one, or truely, is not neccersarily the same for your partner.
celiaKitten
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Xander said:
The fact that love hurts sometimes is enough to know it's not just an illusion of well being. Sometimes being in love is so damned difficult it would be easier to split.
Love is much more than a feeling of well being, it brings sorrows and bordom, frustration and anger. Would all those be included in the illusion as well?
Xander
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Angel, love is generally crap wether you have it or not. One way or the other it is crap.
April, have your illusions. I'm not gonna tell you not to have them.
CK, love hurts because usually, the love is only one sided, and not two sided, as what it is meant to be. The same with frustration and so forth.
But you're right CK, I shouldn't have put in the "Well being" in my initial post.
Loave is an illusion
April, have your illusions. I'm not gonna tell you not to have them.
CK, love hurts because usually, the love is only one sided, and not two sided, as what it is meant to be. The same with frustration and so forth.
But you're right CK, I shouldn't have put in the "Well being" in my initial post.
Loave is an illusion
Fly_On_Wall
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Love is real it's not a feeling it's a part of us.
I've never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship... But I know love. It's Great when it's there, and It hurts like a son of a bitch when it's gone or pulling away.
but you know what.... That feeling let's me know i'm alive and i'm not a heartless monster. good or bad it's there and it's not just a sence of wellbeing.
Just my thoughts.
I've never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship... But I know love. It's Great when it's there, and It hurts like a son of a bitch when it's gone or pulling away.
but you know what.... That feeling let's me know i'm alive and i'm not a heartless monster. good or bad it's there and it's not just a sence of wellbeing.
Just my thoughts.
celiaKitten
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Xander said:
damnit ... it's just not!
Wait - that doesn't work either does it??
Silverlily
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Part of the reason love is fleeting is because it changes constantly. Love lasts when it learns to adapt.
Humans are often inconsistant creatures. We change our minds and form new opinions and ideas frequently. True love is whne you discover the security not only to grow on your own, but to let your partner do it as well.
Talk to anyone in a 15+ year relationship, it didn't just happen. (I know you know that, I'm just on a roll )
Humans are often inconsistant creatures. We change our minds and form new opinions and ideas frequently. True love is whne you discover the security not only to grow on your own, but to let your partner do it as well.
Talk to anyone in a 15+ year relationship, it didn't just happen. (I know you know that, I'm just on a roll
)
pleasteasme
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my two cents
To quote my pessimistic brother:
"Perception IS Reality"
All in all, love (and every other emotion for that matter) is a matter of perception. My perception is My reality and Your perception is Your reality.
No, it does not answer any question and only clouds understanding, but that is my opinion of love and life in general. . .
things that bring great joy to my heart, other people might see as silly but it is what makes ME happy.
I guess it boils down to being a very personal feeling, different for everyone at different times in their lives.
To quote my pessimistic brother:
"Perception IS Reality"
All in all, love (and every other emotion for that matter) is a matter of perception. My perception is My reality and Your perception is Your reality.
No, it does not answer any question and only clouds understanding, but that is my opinion of love and life in general. . .
things that bring great joy to my heart, other people might see as silly but it is what makes ME happy.
I guess it boils down to being a very personal feeling, different for everyone at different times in their lives.
YogiBare
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Xander, I know that you're hurting now because you're going through a breakup, but that doesn't mean that love is an illusion. It's the most real thing in the world. If it wasn't real you wouldn't be hurting now.
I have a friend who was a Catholic priest and we have had some great discussions about this. He says that the purpose of life is to learn how to love. I kind of think that that's true. Every relationship that I've had has given me opportunities to grow and to learn to be a better lover.
I hope you don't become to bitter to stay open to love. Life will be awfunnly cold if you do shut down. And if you stay open, who knows what might happen?
I have a friend who was a Catholic priest and we have had some great discussions about this. He says that the purpose of life is to learn how to love. I kind of think that that's true. Every relationship that I've had has given me opportunities to grow and to learn to be a better lover.
I hope you don't become to bitter to stay open to love. Life will be awfunnly cold if you do shut down. And if you stay open, who knows what might happen?
Xander
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YogiBare said:Xander, I know that you're hurting now because you're going through a breakup, but that doesn't mean that love is an illusion. It's the most real thing in the world. If it wasn't real you wouldn't be hurting now.
I have a friend who was a Catholic priest and we have had some great discussions about this. He says that the purpose of life is to learn how to love. I kind of think that that's true. Every relationship that I've had has given me opportunities to grow and to learn to be a better lover.
I hope you don't become to bitter to stay open to love. Life will be awfunnly cold if you do shut down. And if you stay open, who knows what might happen?
No, I havent gotten too bitter to close out love all completely.
Personally I may just not make the same mistake again, and let another woman so close to my soul and heart.
I learned that a long time ago, never to let a woamn into your heart completely....For the second time in my life, I have fucked up on that account. Never again. Never.
JennyOmanHill
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Love seems fleeting unless two people are willing to work at it together with each other. In most cases, it doesn't work, and usually one of the two gets to feel more of the pain that follows.
But life keeps changing, and as I've gotten older, I realize that by keeping your mind open you can learn "how to" love again.
Most people (including myself) build up walls around their hearts trying to keep the pain from happening again. But I am glad I decided to once more venture out and allow others easier access to my feelings before the walls got too thick.
Ironically a pet taught me a lot about loving. I am not trying to compare this type of love to an intimate romantic relationship, but an animal like a dog is an example of "unconditional' love. She gave me love whether I reciprocated or not, and forced her way into my heart. A year later after she has passed on, I miss her terribly and the pain is still there. But the most unselfish thing I ever did in my life was to "let her go", and I know that I'm a much better person since letting myself feel so close to her.
For all the pain of loving people that have come and gone in my life, I wouldn't trade a single second of my time with them (even those who took advantage of me). And I have found another reason to test my knowledge now because I let myself open to him. Don't give up on the possibility that love will one day be yours.
But life keeps changing, and as I've gotten older, I realize that by keeping your mind open you can learn "how to" love again.
Most people (including myself) build up walls around their hearts trying to keep the pain from happening again. But I am glad I decided to once more venture out and allow others easier access to my feelings before the walls got too thick.
Ironically a pet taught me a lot about loving. I am not trying to compare this type of love to an intimate romantic relationship, but an animal like a dog is an example of "unconditional' love. She gave me love whether I reciprocated or not, and forced her way into my heart. A year later after she has passed on, I miss her terribly and the pain is still there. But the most unselfish thing I ever did in my life was to "let her go", and I know that I'm a much better person since letting myself feel so close to her.
For all the pain of loving people that have come and gone in my life, I wouldn't trade a single second of my time with them (even those who took advantage of me). And I have found another reason to test my knowledge now because I let myself open to him. Don't give up on the possibility that love will one day be yours.
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