confusedbemused
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2014
- Posts
- 2
I am a female who has recently only found out that the reason why I have never had an orgasm that often.... perhaps hardly ever.... is because I finally figured out I am into S&M. I was in a previously in a very conservative relationship that prohibited me trying out these things and currently with a new partner who is more liberal so to speak (i guess you would call vanilla from my google research) allowed me to express these desires that came intuitively.
I am at a conflict within my self, having on one hand desires and needs thatI feel are wrong, perverse and should be stamped out, may be a psychological disorder? to like or want to feeling pain to feel pleasure surely is not normal, plus I have no real out let to experience this so called S&M desire.
It has become an maladaptive desire mentally as I stressed,I want to get rid of it and no amount of exercise is working. I am not into hard core S&M but the more softer version, saying that I am not very sexually experienced so perhaps I am who knows. I feel like I am losing the plot a little, it a craving I just want out of my head, but cannot budge this compulsion.
My current bf cannot really fill my needs as he just too nice and I am to careful to just meet randoms and not that type of person, so I feel trapped. I am getting older and feel ashamed it took me thing long to figure it out and even more ashamed that I feel this way.
If I seek therapy surely I can fix this and don't need restraints, rough sex and pain to feel pleasure, I only have had a slight taste of it once and it felt amazing compared to all the other sex I have had (which was nice but not mind blowing).
I am not trying to say BDSM is wrong, I just feel there is something wrong with me feeling this way and I really don't know what to do. This is the first time I am seeking advice as there are not many support groups for this and I feel stupid to talk about it openly, knowing only to be judged by small minded individuals, rather than accepted.
I am at a conflict within my self, having on one hand desires and needs thatI feel are wrong, perverse and should be stamped out, may be a psychological disorder? to like or want to feeling pain to feel pleasure surely is not normal, plus I have no real out let to experience this so called S&M desire.
It has become an maladaptive desire mentally as I stressed,I want to get rid of it and no amount of exercise is working. I am not into hard core S&M but the more softer version, saying that I am not very sexually experienced so perhaps I am who knows. I feel like I am losing the plot a little, it a craving I just want out of my head, but cannot budge this compulsion.
My current bf cannot really fill my needs as he just too nice and I am to careful to just meet randoms and not that type of person, so I feel trapped. I am getting older and feel ashamed it took me thing long to figure it out and even more ashamed that I feel this way.
If I seek therapy surely I can fix this and don't need restraints, rough sex and pain to feel pleasure, I only have had a slight taste of it once and it felt amazing compared to all the other sex I have had (which was nice but not mind blowing).
I am not trying to say BDSM is wrong, I just feel there is something wrong with me feeling this way and I really don't know what to do. This is the first time I am seeking advice as there are not many support groups for this and I feel stupid to talk about it openly, knowing only to be judged by small minded individuals, rather than accepted.